Stop calling me too skinny!

abbylg1983

I just wondered if anyone is going through something similar to me during their weight loss efforts. All my adult life I have been around 120 pounds (I am 5'3) so I guess I've been reasonably thin, but I didn't eat very well and drank a ton of beer 4-5 nights a week (up until a few years ago) and I had a lot of body fat- I am guessing around 26-27%. After I had my baby last year I joined myfitnesspal with the hopes of not just losing the rest of the baby weight, but getting rid of all the fat I was carrying.

All I ever ate were refined carbs and fruit (like, NO fat or protein ever, except for the weekly mcdonalds burger and fries, no vegetables, very little water- mainly I drank diet coke and beer). So, in addition to logging my food I also made a conscious effort to get more vegetables, protein, and healthy fats. I am now 113 pounds and am going to guess I am around 21% body fat. I would like to lose at least another 6 pounds and get to 17% (that's a rough estimate).

Well, now I am getting hassled by everyone. My coworkers all tell me to "eat something" (I eat more often than anyone in my office, you can frequently find me in the breakroom slicing a zucchini and crunching on celery sticks), and mocking my food choices and my boss recently brought over a slice of cake and said I was wasting away. My parents came to visit and hassled me over my new body. My husband frequently complains I am skin and bones (I'm not; he's just pissed my quest to lose the love handles and jiggly *kitten* have cost me my former D cup boobs).

I am not too skinny (I actually still have a gut and still some jiggle around the middle) and I am eating healthier than ever and although I don't really log my foods anymore, I am sure I get around 1400-1500 calories per day and I just want people to either say something positive or nothing at all.

Is anyone else going through this? How do you deal?

midcenturymodern69

I don't get that (I wish hopefully soon after I lose the weight too) but my daughter does all of the time. She's about your weight, maybe a pound or two less and is 5'6" and lost it after she had her third child. A lot of family (like grandma and grandpa) are harassing her about being too skinny, telling her to eat more, telling her they found the weight she lost, being really rude I think. I think that kind of harassment is just as rude as telling someone they are too fat. (((HUGS))) and I'm sorry you are experiencing that. You have put in a lot of effort and I'm sure you look fantastic!!

tobielauren

21% body fast it's in the normal range, so you are not too skinny 17 is even normal, on the lower side but not too skinny. Maybe they are jealous or uncomfortable with someone who has actually made the change to get hea lthy. I wonder if maybe adding some strength training would enhance your look to others and also make them realize if they kept talking you could kick their butt

dlwyatt82

Your body fat is at a pretty good level already, though your goal is still perfectly reasonable. If you start strength training at some point (and eating more calories to help that process), you'll be able to maintain your body fat target without looking "too skinny". Doesn't take very much muscle to cause that change in appearance.

cmeade20

Some people do this to me too "Oh you look fine just go to the Olive Garden with me" "You're skinny a few cookies won't hurt ya"
Honestly I get really nasty at these times because one of my biggest pet peeves is people butting into my business. I have flat out told people to go eff themselves. I've also very snidely told people "You realize there is a reason why I'm skinny?" Some people have woken up and realized to keep their mouths shut. Others apparently are gluttons for punishment.

skinnyfithealthyme

Yep. A few months ago I was about 10-15 pounds lighter basically at my goal. My mom was worried I was too thin and now that I've gotten off track for awhile she's like oooh you like so much healthier. Which makes me feel bad because then I know I look noticeably larger. When I say I'm trying to lose weight people think I'm crazy yet as the pounds start to drop people say I look great...hmm I wonder when that will stop and concern will begin.
Do what makes you happy, as long as you're eating enough for YOU who cares what people think. Your happiness is the most important thing

impyimpyaj

Instead of "guessing" your body fat, get tested. You could be way off on your estimate.

113 lbs at 5'3" is pretty thin according to "average" standards. It's about a BMI of 20, which is getting toward the lower side of healthy. I'm not saying your coworkers, friends, family, etc. are right in saying those things to you, because they're not. It's rude. I've endured those comments myself, and it's just mean. I hate it. However, I do wonder if losing more pounds is really what you want to be shooting for, since you're already at a good weight. Perhaps it's time to focus on building muscle to burn fat. You don't have to get bulky, but focusing on strength training will burn the fat away so you can lose that jiggle.

NevrOvr

I have dealt with this. I sometimes act a little too defensive honestly, but I always try to make an active effort to be positive and nice to these people. They just fear that you don't have a handle on yourself. But this is understandable! Think about how many people you have heard describe their own eating and body habits as being "out of control." Like they just can't help themselves. Many folks walk around thinking their fitness-level is somehow controlled by some invisible demon that either makes them give in to their cravings or stop eating anything ever. We all probably have felt like we let things get away from us before we started looking after ourselves. I know I felt like that 10 years ago!

Well, you now are IN control. You look great! You are NOT saggy :noway: As long as you are trying to improve yourself with positivity and not sabotage, you know what you need to do for yourself.

I let the person say what they need to say, and I just keep my answer short - say, thanks for looking out for me or something. You don't need to explain yourself to them. Keep the conversations short, that's what I do!

indygal76

I hear this a lot too! My husband is also upset over me losing what little boobs I had left. He will say there is nothing left to hold onto and etc. My coworkers also like to push food my way saying I don't eat enough too. I just know they are worried about me but I have it all under control and it sounds like you do too!

Espressocycle

I'm guessing your problem is that you need to tone up. You might be suffering from the dreaded "skinny fat." And then again, maybe you really did just look better before. I had a coworker who was voluptuous and beautiful; now she looks like a supermodel - in other words, kinda gross.

Nice

Happens to me everytime i tell someone I am on a fitness site. Yes, I am thin, but it doesn't mean I don't have fat to lose or want to tone my body. I just tell them it's for health reasons..I like to keep track of what I am eating and have a healthy lifestyle.

agbaeb

Oh, I totally hear you! I was just asked yesterday if I could even shop in the women's section, or if I had to shop in the kids' section. WHAT??? lol

People do not take into account that
1) Short people can weigh less
2) Skinny does not equal healthy
3) Our culture has made fat normal, and obese "chubby"

racemary

Statistically you're not too skinny, you're thin I have never been skinny and I would really love to be just slim. Why do you want a body fat percentage of 17%? 21 is fantastic! With 113 Ibs you are already at the lower end of the healthy BMI range - why do you want to lose more weight?

alleycat88

Have any of you taken the time to look at her bikini picture?

She is thin, slim and seems toned.

OP, if you were to lose those 6lbs just because you like the number 107 more than 113 then you shouldn't do it. Honestly at 5'3, 6lbs is A LOT (I'm 5'4 and know how big of a difference that can make). You seem perfect to me, and not saying your co-workers are right, but I think you should focus on toning and not losing weight. losing weight =/= less body fat %. PLEASE remember that.

a woman that weighs 120lbs at 5'3 could have 18% bf %, and a 120lbs 5'3 woman could have 25% bf %. the number on the scale is not indicative of body fat percentage.

afigueroa_pr

People need to understand that just because you are a light weight doesn't mean you're healthy and the same principl goes the other way around, if you're heavy doesn't mean you're fat.
Have you ever heard of the term "skinny fat?
http://www.functionalfitmag.com/blog/2012/01/31/top-10-ways-skinny-fat/

You have to have your body fat percentage at a decent range on top of being at a bmi of 25 or under. The problem with society is that it is all about looks and not abot how you feel.
I commend you for your progress and keep shedding that body fat and getting leaner.
You have my support.

MtnKat

IDK...I don't know you...however if everyone around you are telling you the same thing, especially the people you love and love you, then maybe you should stop for a moment and listen to them.

Yea, you can give me all the numbers you want, but these people know you....they love you...they are concerned for your well being.

What concerned me is the fact that you no longer log. You say you are eating 1500 cals but six months ago, I said the same thing lol (instead I was eating 3000....maybe you might be eating 500 and don't realize it). Try logging again for a few days and see.

At your height/weight...the way you look in your pic....it looks to me like you are thin enough. Listen to your loved ones hon....they are not lying.

Prahasaurus

I'm reminded of the new guy on the assembly line being told to slow down, as he's making everyone look bad... Same general principle.

Your coworkers would rather eat cake and nachos, rarely exercise, biyatch about how little time they have to take care of themselves, blah, blah, blah, and you're a reminder that it doesn't have to be that way...

--P

Hellbent_Heidi

Just click your internal "ignore" button. Some people probably do mean well, and others may be projecting their own issues onto you when they make nasty comments. I takes people a while to adjust to seeing a whole different version of you,

Congrats on your success, and keep up the good work. Its nobody's business what you eat or don't eat...

lynn1982

I think North Americans (assuming that's where you're from - I didn't check, sorry!) have distorted views of body images. I've been getting comments recently by people telling me that I'm "tiny." I'm far from tiny - I'm short, but I'm still overweight for my height. I guess that's where I differ from you since you're clearly at a healthy weight. The guy I've been dating (who didn't know me when I was almost 50 pounds heavier) tells me I'm tiny in a playful manner, so I don't mind that. But others have been saying it more negatively. Just yesterday I was having brunch with my best friend and she commented that I'm "too tiny" and suggested that I eat pancakes. I usually just ignore it and continue going about what I've been doing.

MarkAWhipple

I think you know you don't need to lose that extra weight. I looked at your bikini picture and even someone with a horrible self image should be able to tell you look amazing already. Why don't you ask your doctor what you should do? People on here are helpful and some of them may actually BE doctors, but none of them are YOUR doctor. Go get a true BMI reading and find out from your doc if you should lose more weight. I'm thinking he will say NO but I am not a professional.

tabinmaine

You should probably be eating about 1800-2500 calories a day and lifting heavy if you want to tone up and lower body fat.... you are just going to be flabby and skinny if you continue to eat low calories at your size....

You look good, you have a great base to start with, I know what you are trying to achieve but I am 5"4 and my goal is 140 lbs size 6, how can you be 1" shorter than me and weigh that little, do you want toned arms and abs or be wiggly skinny fat ?

MarkAWhipple

I'm reminded of the new guy on the assembly line being told to slow down, as he's making everyone look bad... Same general principle.

Your coworkers would rather eat cake and nachos, rarely exercise, biyatch about how little time they have to take care of themselves, blah, blah, blah, and you're a reminder that it doesn't have to be that way...

--P

And this. Sorry, but many people who call someone "too skinny" are just jealous.

Hambone23

When you start seeing individual ribs, that might be a sign to stop. But from what I see, you're thin and toned more than most. People do get threatened by that. (As someone who still has a lot of weight to lose, I admit that even I still get threatened by it sometimes.) I think it's a case of that old cliche: Misery loves company. It's too bad your significant other isn't supportive because of something lame like the more natural size of your breasts. Instead of trying to lose even more weight, which I do think would make you excessively thin, I agree that you should focus more on toning at this point. The scale will go up, but you'll look fantastic and still thin.

kristen6022

I get it too. I started at 190 (5'11, so overweight but not too much). At that point no one ever said anything about my weight but I wasn't happy about it.

Now, I'm 145 and worked darn hard to get the 45 pounds off, but now I seem to get told I'm thin, boney, skinny, etc. I'm about 21%-22% body fat, so normal. I think I looked better at 150-155, but at my height 5-10 pounds really shouldn't matter. So after concentrating very hard to get weight off, I'm looking to put a few pounds on and when you've trained your head to "lose weight" adding weight isn't easy. I'm a size 4/6 (first time in my life, btw) and I'm looking to be more a 6/8. For my body, that looks better and is more maintainable.

Really it's what you are happy with. If you are happy with you, people will just deal. Everyone is used to people being larger than average these days and I think depending on who's telling you you are too thin (are they larger themselves?), it may be jealously.

KarmaxKitty

I'm not going to lie. If people around me started to do that, i would seriously consider harassment charges. I had to completely cut off contact with one person because it got so bad. No one should be harrased to eat a cheeseburger just because "we never see you eat anyway". I thought she was going to shove it down my throat...

YOU know your body. YOU know your goals. If you have seconds thoughts about them AT ALL, then see a nutritionist, or a trainer, or a doctor (although I'm a bit wary of that last one...doctors get weird about weight...). You look AMAZING to me and to a lot of other people on this site. You're doing a great job. Honestly, a lot of that probably comes from jealousy. "Oh, hey, she's looking skinny...that makes me look like a whale." (I have had this feeling before...one of the motivations to lose weight in the first place.)

Short answer - you look fine, you eat helthy, your weight is healthy, and the people around you have no idea what they're talking about. Getting/Staying small is WORK.

alleycat88

I'm reminded of the new guy on the assembly line being told to slow down, as he's making everyone look bad... Same general principle.

Your coworkers would rather eat cake and nachos, rarely exercise, biyatch about how little time they have to take care of themselves, blah, blah, blah, and you're a reminder that it doesn't have to be that way...

--P

And this. Sorry, but many people who call someone "too skinny" are just jealous.

normally I would agree, but after seeing her picture, I think her problem is that she lacks definition/toning, and considers herself "fat" still, when in fact she's already thin. Of course based on that picture i'd say she's in great shape and doesn't need much toning.

ShrinkingShawna

I've never liked this double standard. Why do people think it's ok to say "you're too skinny", or "you don't eat enough", but it's not ok to say "you're too fat" or "you eat too much". And the force feeding thing is ridiculous. The BMI chart is sometimes the culprit, and some people don't know the difference between BMI & BF% on the "health" side of things. But mostly, and I'm going out on a limb here based on my experiences when I was skinny, it's overweight people that are trying to do the force feeding. Until I started on this site, no one ever said "you don't eat enough" to me while I was overweight. I find it ironic that they'll post that kind of negative feedback, but don't say anything when I'm having a cheat meal and slam some pizza. I think the skinny comments are more of a jealousy thing than an honest concern. Other than my doctor, not one person I know expressed concern for my health being this large, and I am at extremely high risk for diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and all around putting unneccessary stress on my organs. I would think if people had an honest concern about "health", this double standard wouldn't exist.

HeavyLiftGirl

I have skinny arms and legs, so people automatically think I am a stick. They don't, however, see my stomach area. That is were I gain weight, so before I lost the 19lbs I needed to lose (after having my daughter) I wore bagger tops, and people kept telling me "You look great! You don't need to lose a pound". Ummmm...you haven't seen me with no top on.

Don't let it get to you!

lowry12

oh my cry me a river but look your on the lower side of a healthy weight for ur height any lower and u will be under so ya eating a piece of cake aint gonna hurt you i dont thnk these ppl r being mean or rude or are jealous of what youve done and i mean if your own husband is making comments about it then maybe you do need to move your thoughts away from loosing weight and lift sum weights or something and no im no where remotly close to being jealous and thats why im saying this i have no desire to be "skinny" im not envious of skinny girls or anything but there is a such thing as too skinny and im affraid your headed in that direction

dlwyatt82

oh my cry me a river but look your on the lower side of a healthy weight for ur height any lower and u will be under so ya eating a piece of cake aint gonna hurt you i dont thnk these ppl r being mean or rude or are jealous of what youve done and i mean if your own husband is making comments about it then maybe you do need to move your thoughts away from loosing weight and lift sum weights or something and no im no where remotly close to being jealous and thats why im saying this i have no desire to be "skinny" im not envious of skinny girls or anything but there is a such thing as too skinny and im affraid your headed in that direction

Punctuation is your friend.

SherriLibrarian

Have any of you taken the time to look at her bikini picture?

She is thin, slim and seems toned.

OP, if you were to lose those 6lbs just because you like the number 107 more than 113 then you shouldn't do it. Honestly at 5'3, 6lbs is A LOT (I'm 5'4 and know how big of a difference that can make). You seem perfect to me, and not saying your co-workers are right, but I think you should focus on toning and not losing weight. losing weight =/= less body fat %. PLEASE remember that.

a woman that weighs 120lbs at 5'3 could have 18% bf %, and a 120lbs 5'3 woman could have 25% bf %. the number on the scale is not indicative of body fat percentage.

I agree. Muscle weighs more than fat. Maybe work on toning certain areas with a trainer. Also your body after childbirth changes especially with a small frame. My hip bones are farther apart and my rib cage is wider. You can still have a great body but don't obsess.