Were you treated differently after losing alot of weight?

2

Replies

  • jltaft21
    jltaft21 Posts: 34 Member
    The last time I lost 30 pounds my family also was negative about me losing weight. I started off at a size 14/16 and ended up at a size 8. You would have thought I was a size negative 3. They were so dramatic about how skinny I was, when actually, I was just eating healthy and exercising every day. This is not the norm for my family where everyone is overweight. My sister is morbidly obese.
  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
    I'm told by my co-workers that I smile more, I don't really, but what I have figured out is that I carried so much weight in my face I looked like I was scowling or angry if I wasn't smiling. so they think I look happier. I have noticed a big difference in how strangers treat me from men holding the door to both men and women being more polite at of all places the gym. I've had quicker service from cashiers and more polite interactions with sales people as well. I'm not even to goal yet but when I make it I'm wondering if there will be more differences.
  • ClearAsMud94
    ClearAsMud94 Posts: 12
    Since losing 120 pounds, people have definitely treated me with more respect and admiration. I don't receive many direct compliments or comments in general, but whenever my mother comes home from the bar, she'll go on for 20+ minutes about how some guys were down there asking about me, saying how "hot" I've gotten, etc. It's kind of creepy (they're all MUCH older than I am), but it still makes me giddy to know that people take notice of my efforts. =)
  • LisaGore1
    LisaGore1 Posts: 41
    I've lost 136lbs so far and I have noticed a difference in the way I am treated out in public. more people will talk to me being courteous and what not. as before no one would talk to me and at times I got lots of dirty looks cause i would knock something over with my hip. as far as family and friends well yes they too treat me differently.I always get wont that make you sick now that you dont eat it anymore....No I eat it just not as frequently as before. or sorry I dont have the foods you eat as I'm not dieting like you are....I'm not dieting I'm eating healthy and its a lifestyle that i have chosen. or I could never eat rabbit food like you just to lose weight.....I dont eat rabbit food I eat good healthy food that tastes great maybe if you learned how to make healthy food taste good you would want to too. I have not even been recognized by people who had not seen me since I was 300lbs. I even had my neighbor apologize to me for not recognizing me when he saw me out jogging one day. I told him not to apologize cause that makes me feel good knowing i have accomplished what I set out to accomplish to actually look like a average citizen.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    Yup! I have an uncle tell everyone up north where he lives that I photoshop my photo's that this really isn't me. He has never been this cruel to me. I understand that he seen me like the week before I got control of my life and I was really big then, but he is dead serious, he don't think that the girl in my photo's is really me, he does know its me but he thinks I have photo shopped myself, now I do have photoshop but going in there and taking THAT much off me, I would not look right if I tried, I'm not good at all at photoshop lol.

    Then my cousin (this uncles daughter) she likes to find a way to put me down, she'll say things like "You are looking good but you still have a gut" or one time she said "Why in the world would you post half naked photos on facebook?" now understand that the photos go in an album called "Body transformation" for my weight loss photos. I'm in sweat pants and a sports bra, then the current photo in a bikini top and shorts, sorry I've seen a lot worse on facebook. She's went as far as saying I look like a porn star.

    I have a friend who I use to be really close with, but now she don't want much to do with me. She don't invite me to go anywhere, I made a girls night out thing and wanted her to join but she hasn't said nothing so I doubt that'll happen. It use to really bother me that she pushed me away, but now I think I'm over it.

    My husband can't keep his hands off me lol. I like this one haha..

    My mom asks me for weight loss advice. I have other friends who either come to me theirself for weight loss advice or refer people to me for weight loss advice. I love those as well.
  • Vgrindle
    Vgrindle Posts: 23
    Yeah I have noticed more smiles and people noticing me when I am at work, as opposed to when I was at my heaviest and got no kind of attention from anyone. I have only lost 29 pounds (295 to 266) but it has made a whole worlds difference and it makes me feel good about myself and motivates me to push forward.
  • Plates559
    Plates559 Posts: 869 Member
    I used to be very scrawny, people now call me things like "big man", to which I respond "not big enough".

    Their idea of big is so mediocre.
  • nwilson91
    nwilson91 Posts: 70
    I think most of it is because I act differently. I'm am more confident about myself and have no problem being assertive if I need to be. It's truly a mental change as well as phiscal for me. I walk a little taller, hold my head up and look like I am someone who is strong and confident!!!! :)

    Truedat!

    I've gained and lost 50+ lbs before and am still amazed - the treatment is night and day.

    In my head, I've remained the svelte, fitness professional, but try coaching adult gymnastics when you don't look like you can do anything remotely athletic.

    There are thousands of little signs, small perks and so forth that add up to a completely different world. I get flirted with/hit on, by guys and girls. I get more compliments for things unrelated to physical traits/feats. People who look at me tend to smile.

    But... I also teach college, and strangely I've found that when I'm overweight, my students like me more. When I'm fit they seem to think I'm a jerk; when I'm overweight, apparently I'm "jolly." LOL.
  • abbiepql
    abbiepql Posts: 45
    Heck yeah - I actually get looked at in the face versus a stranger looking at my body in disgust or disbelief. I have always been a very outgoing and warm person that does not know a stranger - but now when I strike up a conversation I get responsed to versus grunts or nods. It's a different perspective for sure from those that I have never met and do not know I have lost over half my body weight. As for those that know me, during the first 200 lbs. lost I got alot of encouragement, support and compliments - like they could not believe a lazy non-moving person like me could accomplish something that requires more than a little physical effort. Now I still get a bunch of kudos and attagirls from those that have true feelings for me as a person and great intention. Those that were just in it to see me fail or wanted to lose weight themselves, and have expressed their intent to me and then have not lost weight or even tried in the 1.5 years I have been doing this - they say very little and treat me as though I have some type of disease they don't wish to catch!
  • krisiepoo
    krisiepoo Posts: 710 Member
    For those of you that have lost a lot of weight tell me if people acted different towards you or if you noticed any other changes with yourself.

    Did you get more stares?

    Did you get negative or jealous reactions fromn friends/family?

    Discuss

    I lost 60# 2 years ago and the way people treated me differently was amazing. They smiled at me, they initiated conversation, guys checked me out... I had complete positives from family which was awesome. I let them all know I was on this journey and they did things to help me be successful.

    Although, all the stares, smiles and conversations could have resulted in my increased self confidence and the way I carried myself too :) a 2-way street for sure!
  • LisaGore1
    LisaGore1 Posts: 41
    Absolutely. I think I am just more approachable in general. People are more likely to talk to me everywhere - in line at the grocery store, pumping gas, etc. No one ever talked to me before. Now, they do all the time. It's kind of strange for me though since I got used to being ignored. I don't really know how to talk to strangers.
    me too I have been over weight my entire life and now I'm average weight and when people talk to me now I have a hard time dealing with it not use to the attention.
  • IRun4Me_12
    IRun4Me_12 Posts: 240 Member
    I think most of it is because I act differently. I'm am more confident about myself and have no problem being assertive if I need to be. It's truly a mental change as well as phiscal for me. I walk a little taller, hold my head up and look like I am someone who is strong and confident!!!! :)

    This is exactly the case for me. Some people don't like or are jealous of the way that I am now, and to them, I say ... poo on you. This is me, love me or leave me!
  • missworld95
    missworld95 Posts: 131 Member
    My heart goes out to all of you, society is so heartless. I could never understand why so many people are quick to discriminate against people who are heavier... I remember my mother would be treated awful, people stereotyped her as being lazy and couldn't control her eating when in reality she has a thyroid problem and it;s very diffiult for her to lose weight. Regardless, even if you are "lazy" and "like ot eat a lot," that shouldn't mean you are any less of a person. Okay, I'm done my mini rant.
  • AABru
    AABru Posts: 610 Member
    The first time I lost 80 pounds (pre children, and post high school), I worked at Lane Bryant. I went from a size 24 to a size 12. Customers that I had known for 2 or 3 years refused to allow me to help them any longer. I remember one woman actually saying to me when I recommended an outfit to" mind my own business because I obviously didn't know anything about being fat." I went home and cried that night because I just didn't know where I fit in anymore. Suddenly men were hitting on me, and strangers were JUST as judgemental. At least when I was overweight I knew people liked ME...not what I looked like.

    Now that I'm older (I was 22 then, and am 38 now), I really understand that attitude is all about interpretation of how people treat you. I don't care what other people think. I am a good role model for my kids. I am healthy. I am happy. If they have a problem...it's theirs not mine. I also try really hard not to get sucked into gossip about people: overweight or not. I get really upset when my friends or family demean the efforts of people that are healthy or trying to be healthy.
  • Skinny_Jeans_Soon
    Skinny_Jeans_Soon Posts: 326 Member
    The difference is night and day. In public my husband is always telling me that guys are looking at me but I am oblivious to it. Why the heck would they look at me? My friends are always asking me what I am doing, eating etc. I get compliments by the truckload at the office about my new clothes and how "tiny" I am but I am not tiny in any way. It is all overwhelming for me. I am quiet and shy and like to hide from the world. I wish I was very outgoing, I am working on it. I want a personality that shines and makes others smile.
  • Menoetius1
    Menoetius1 Posts: 18
    This is good motivation right? :P
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    This is good motivation right? :P

    Sometimes it actually makes me mad. I want to scream, I was just as awesome before people!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    This is good motivation right? :P

    Sometimes it actually makes me mad. I want to scream, I was just as awesome before people!

    I wasn't, honestly I know I wasn't my attitude sucked when I obese, I felt sorry for myself and hated myself and that hate for myself showed in my attitude. So I do know that I'm better now, yes I was called ugly things when I was big but I think the things I have heard about me since I've lost weight might be a little more hurtful, luckily I've belt myself up to handle it ok.
  • joebanz77
    joebanz77 Posts: 283 Member
    I lost about 70 lbs since December 2011. I get a lot of compliments from friends and coworkers but not so much from family. Probably once in a while from one of my siblings. But what's important now is that I'm glad my wife joined me during my journey and we're setting a great example for our kids.
  • CricketWhiskers
    CricketWhiskers Posts: 64 Member
    I've gotten a lot more catcalls and compliments. :) I've also noticed a lot of friends and family jumping on the fitness bandwagon and wanting to work out with me and asking me for advice. Everyone has been really nice and has tried to be helpful, even if it's not always what's best. My mom keeps warning me against "getting a big head" and tries to tempt me with a bite of this and a nibble of that. "You've lost so much, one bite won't hurt" or "You need to stop obsessing about everything you eat, it's not healthy!" I always laugh when she says that but I don't take it to heart since she still struggles with an eating disorder and she's just afraid that I'll become obsessed to an unhealthy degree.

    As far as treatment in stores and etc I haven't really noticed anything different but I do live in Kansas where we have a fairly large obese population so for most people an overweight customer is just the same as one at a healthy weight. :)
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    I haven't noticed, but I'm pretty oblivious to this stuff, I'm a very friendly person, talk to people at the grocery store etc. so when men are flirting with me often times i just think they are being friendly and then I'll be talking about it to a friend and they will smack me upside the head and say Hey idiot that guy was totally hitting on you. OOPS! But one annoying thing is my mother cannot stop bragging about me, it actually makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable, if we are talking to people at a store (trying on clothes for example) she will bring up my weight loss. Maybe because I still have so far to go that I'm embarrassed because I can just imagine what's running through their head is well that's nice but she's still a fat *kitten*.
  • movn4ward
    movn4ward Posts: 69 Member
    I definitely get treated differently by people in general. I believe some of it has to do with my lack of confidence once I put on so much weight. I really wanted to blend in as much as possible. Most of the treatment differences is a general,"when I'm in public" thing. I get more smiles compliments and date requests. As for the people close to me, I am sure they are glad they no longer have to help me "reason" with my weight. I don't get so many "pep" talks about not being fat, just a little big. Whatever that means.

    It affects different people differently
  • vndonates
    vndonates Posts: 22
    People are always nicer when I'm thinner. Also, the thinner I go, the more guys check me out. Always been that way.
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
    I can safely say yes, i get some double takes these days from girls so far =] that never used to happen
  • UnleashingLovely
    UnleashingLovely Posts: 205
    Didn't lose a lot of weight. But lost a lot of inches. But nope. And that's what makes it disappointing): Not even really gotten a compliment on it.
  • Blaineyyy
    Blaineyyy Posts: 151 Member
    It's sad but I generally feel more (though still not totally) accepted in society since losing weight. It's a shame.
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    Being a southern boy and a geek at heart combined with being heavy has always given me negative attention the last decade. I was 6'4" at 250lbs with probably no muscle weight at one point about 5 years ago. Let's just say it was very hard to attract female attention and I didn't get much respect from others either.

    Now I am running at 220 lbs as of today. I also have a lot more muscle weight. However my stomach is still a bit ignorant so my pooch is till around though it is getting smaller at a snail's pace. At this point in my life, I am starting to receive a lot more feminine attention now which is still relatively new to me so I do not know how to take it sometimes. I also generally get a lot more respect from others. I attribute this to my fitness as well as the fact that being a geek at heart is starting to gain popularity with the modern world becoming so into technology.

    Funny how the world works....

    Thank you for serving our country and you don't look geeky to me.
  • gmoneycole
    gmoneycole Posts: 813 Member
    yep - people tend to judge a book by its cover.
  • javagsd
    javagsd Posts: 82
    I've only lost 1/3 of my goal but it's created a little tension with my DIL who has had numerous attempts to lose weight. The success I'm having seems to make her dwell on her own failures.
  • kini324
    kini324 Posts: 239 Member
    Without a doubt- YES.

    Men I know talk to me more, men I don't know acknowledge me. Women I don't know aren't necessarily friendly. Some women I know now aren't as friendly now that I'm skinnier. I like to think it's not me, it's their own internal issues. I understand not being happy with yourself so I don't judge.

Categories