Grrrrr - people just don't understand

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  • skimbrough28
    skimbrough28 Posts: 21 Member
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    Yes, its a lifestyle change and sometimes people are being nice and other times they are just challenging you to see if you mean what you say about changing. The best thing to do is to know what you can eat when you go out. I have a food calculator app on my phone and it helps. Also, just picking something healthy on the menu helps, and keeps people from asking a 1,000 questions about your eating and motivation....you're already hungry, no need to also have to defend everything you eat or drink.
  • shierrarobin
    shierrarobin Posts: 181
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    I have a roommate who will constantly ask me "Can you eat Spaghetti with us tonight?" or "Can you eat Sloppy Joes with us?" and I'll always tell him "No, not unless you get ground turkey or lean ground beef." Then he'll go out and buy fatty meat. Then he'll make the food and give me a guilt trip for not eating it. "I worked really hard making this and you won't even eat a bite of it?" All the while, him and his annoying girlfriend are packing on the pounds.

    Believe me, I know how you feel. People who aren't trying to lose weight or change their eating habits don't understand the battle we face. Those who do understand will sometimes intentionally shove food in our faces in order to "test" us. Just keep up what you've been doing and don't let anyone sway your from your goal. :)
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Sometimes it helps if you can do something with your friends that doesn't involve food, like ask them to go hiking with you. That way, they feel included, but you don't have to eat crap.

    Of course, you can't win them all. I have noticed that since a coworker moved to another department, my weight loss progress has been going much better. When she wasn't pushing food on me, she was talking about food, and she was constantly eating junk food at her desk in front of me. Ugh.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    How dare people want to spend time with you!! The nerve of your friends inviting you out to lunch... Guess what - you're the one trying to change your habits, not everyone else. If you want to actually make the necessary changes to reach your goals, you're going to have to learn how to go out with friends every once in a while without acting like people are actively trying to sabotage your life.

    except sometimes people ARE actively trying to sabotage your life.
    misery loves company and sometimes when people see you taking steps to not be miserable anymore they try to drag you back down.
    I find it easiest to just make my changes quietly and not tell the people around me.
  • leaann3
    leaann3 Posts: 71 Member
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    Sometimes your friends and coworkers sabotage your efforts on purpose! Especially if they do not want you to look better than them! Sometimes, they do it unknowingly though because eating fun tasty foods makes everyone feel better for about 15 seconds! Then, regret sets in! So, stay strong - YOU can do this!

    I completely agree! They don't have the willpower to change, so they don't want you to either. Human nature! Stick with it!

    I read on a message board the other day to say to people, "I don't eat that," instead of "I can't eat that." I thought that little mind trick was a particularly good idea.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    I agree...the other night a friend kept saying.. "We can split a meal." She had fried catfish. I really got snappy at her. I felt like she was deaf. I told her I was on a 1200 calorie a day diet. We all know fried fish doesn't make the cut on that..especially at the end of the day when all i had was 400 calories left.

    It is almost better to not tell anyone..stay home more because going out with foodie or drinking friends will be a disaster. I think it is different after you'v e lost a lot and you can splurge here and there..but when you first start out..the last think you want to do is take a step back!
  • REALBIGBATBASTARD
    REALBIGBATBASTARD Posts: 103 Member
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    parents don't either
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    Lol I stay with my folks for now. Earlier today Mom eats a Tasty Pie in front of me and 2nite the folks pick up cheese steaks for dinner and offer me one. If you're not from the Philly area you probably have no clue what these foods are but trust me, they rate up there with Krispy Kremes and Big Macs lol
  • miracleharper
    miracleharper Posts: 15
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    you can still go out and eat healthy at the same time. every place you eat out at now has salads. opt for that if they dont have more healthy options. and if they are eating a huge cake or icecream in front of you , just say no thank you and imagine them 500 pounds - smile and say eat up butter cup!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I lost 35 pounds (before I got pregnant) without being ultra strict. I was "good" most of the time, but didn't feel bad about indulging if we went out.
  • mmarcy7
    mmarcy7 Posts: 227 Member
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    The best thing ever was finding out I was gluten intolerant. Now when people try to push cake, donuts, crap on me I just say "Sorry I can't have gluten" and that ends it. You should still be able to find some restaurants with healthy things for you to eat, then when someone suggests going out you can have some choices ready of where to go.
  • myogibbs
    myogibbs Posts: 182
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    It just means you have to be a bit more creative. One thing that I noticed when I started my LIFESTYLE CHANGE, was that I had the all or nothing mentality. "Good" food vs "Bad" food. Try to think of food as fuel...you wouldn't just put crappy gas in your car & expect it to run efficiently. That being said, one day I had a REALLY bad day at work & went out after work with friends. I realized that the social interaction was what made me feel better, NOT the food. I could have had a salad (though I didn't) & it wouldn't have mattered, b/c it was laughing and talking with my friends that helped me feel better. Some tips I use now....I look ahead online & see what the restaurant's options are for healthier meals. I also log it on mfp to see what the calorie/fat will be...I have discovered that many times the "splurge" just isn't worth it, but when it is...I just splurge & do my best to eat healthy the rest of the time. I have a "splurge day" once a week to keep from feeling deprived. Eat with your non-dominant hand...makes you slow down & you get full faster. I also ask for a box with my food and put 1/2 in the box...and out of reach...before I even start eating. Today's portions are out of control & you do not need all that food...plus...you have lunch or dinner for the next day. Good luck with your healthy lifestyle...just remember that many people don't mean to sabatoge you, but food is just such a dominant factor in our social lives. Very proud of you :)
  • jennipea382
    jennipea382 Posts: 47 Member
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    I definitely know the feeling! I have to keep reminding my fiance that I'm trying to eat healthier so no, I do not want that delicious donut you brought home or half a frozen pizza! I also just had a friend in town and she wanted to go out to eat twice in one day which for me has become a no-no. I ended up just trying to eat less and eat a somewhat healthier option. That's the best you can do. It's not fun to turn down hanging out with friends just because you're "on a diet". I know it's tough to make good choices when everyone around you is chowing down on their fatty fried food and chugging their sugary drinks, but it's something you have to just do. It gets better with time! And for the record, I haven't cut anything TOTALLY out of my diet. I just do my best to stay within my calories and eat healthier as much as I can.
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
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    I still go out for lunch and get higher calorie items.
    I just only eat half and bring the rest home for dinner and then that 800 calorie item is only 400 per meal.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    People can't sabotage you unless you let them. You are control over your body, you are in control over what goes in it, if you eat something that the person who you are saying is sabotaging you, then you sabotaged yourself by not flexing your will power. Of course it's hard sometimes, but I didn't lose 113lbs by letting people control my food intake. My husband isn't on this with me, but if I cook dinner I cook what I can eat and he either will eat it or he'll cook his own dinner, he isn't picky though. We have family get together's and I ask what we're having before we go so I can work it out in my calories. There are ways around the people you say sabotage, if that is what you think they are doing, always have a back up plain. Take control of the situation.
  • its_rierie
    its_rierie Posts: 44 Member
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    How dare people want to spend time with you!! The nerve of your friends inviting you out to lunch... Guess what - you're the one trying to change your habits, not everyone else. If you want to actually make the necessary changes to reach your goals, you're going to have to learn how to go out with friends every once in a while without acting like people are actively trying to sabotage your life.

    This.
  • SlinkyNewMe
    SlinkyNewMe Posts: 213 Member
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    It is hard when most of our social activities revolve around food and eating. What I have found useful is to suggest meeting up for a walk, or meeting in the gym. This is not always possible, so I either exercise my own restraint and just order the lightest thing on the menu, or just go with the flow, just for that one day - it won't hurt. Better to do that than to offend your friends who, after all may not be making the same lifestyle and health choices as you currently are.

    Whilst it might be true that some people try to sabotage our efforts to be healthy - I think most of the time, it is just habit that we turn to food during social activities - it's what brings people together. You can still enjoy that, but in your own way, and allow others to enjoy it their way perhaps?

    Nobody can force you to eat something if you do not want it - just as long as you are strong willed enough to do what you need to do for yourself.
  • bcameron112
    bcameron112 Posts: 10 Member
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    Yip they just don't get it do they? Obviously they are slim or they just don't care. In saying that I get into trouble when I do take some of my low fat home baking in - it all gets cast up to me but it is not full of calorie and fat I tell them but will they listen - NO! Anyway well done you for resisting, keep strong!
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
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    The one thing I really don't want to become this time round is a diet bore. This time I am actually understanding the whole "lifestyle change" thing. But I've been where you are, and all I want to say is just be careful. It's great that you're changing for yourself, but it doesn't mean everyone around you will appreciate or even care about your diet! Maybe they just like you for you!
    You can go out and make healthy choices, you can say no to donuts and cakes. But don't stop socialising with people who were with you before you started your lifestyle change, and who will hopefully be with you after.
  • kingofcrunk
    kingofcrunk Posts: 372 Member
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    How dare people want to spend time with you!! The nerve of your friends inviting you out to lunch... Guess what - you're the one trying to change your habits, not everyone else. If you want to actually make the necessary changes to reach your goals, you're going to have to learn how to go out with friends every once in a while without acting like people are actively trying to sabotage your life.

    you sound like a very angry person

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