Would you be brutally honest to a friend??

lowpro1983
lowpro1983 Posts: 305 Member
in Chit-Chat
I don't really have a nice way of saying this....BUT.....if your friend was wearing an outfit and asked your opinion, would you be brutally honest and tell her what you really think? Is there a way to be "gentle?"

What if your friend doesn't ask your opinion...would you tell her if she looked "fat?"

Just curious....
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Replies

  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
    Certainly not unsolicited! Ye gods... if one of my friends told me "by the way, you look really fat in that" I don't think I'd ever talk to them again.

    Now, if they ask it's another story. Especially when trying on something to buy. Then the opposite rule applies. If I try on something that looks god awful on me and my friends tell me it looks great and then I see a picture and they were lying... off with their heads! Totally don't want to buy something I look like crap in because no one wanted to hurt my feelings.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    for guys this works all the time..,.i dont htink it works as well for women.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    I would not offer the advice but if they asked I could say something like, it's a cute outfit but it doesn't flatter you well.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    My friend asked me about her hair (Which I HATED! she looked much better and now looks like a little boy) so I said "Well, I think it would look better if you straightened it." Then I also told her that I could tell that she didn't like it either and I then proceeded to suggest what else could be done to fix it. I felt a little bad, but the hair cut SUCKS!
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
    Lol @ women. Why can't it just be simple, I immediatly tell me friends if they look terrible.
  • Babymomakell
    Babymomakell Posts: 257 Member
    Certainly not unsolicited! Ye gods... if one of my friends told me "by the way, you look really fat in that" I don't think I'd ever talk to them again.

    Now, if they ask it's another story. Especially when trying on something to buy. Then the opposite rule applies. If I try on something that looks god awful on me and my friends tell me it looks great and then I see a picture and they were lying... off with their heads! Totally don't want to buy something I look like crap in because no one wanted to hurt my feelings.

    Exactly what she said =)
  • lowpro1983
    lowpro1983 Posts: 305 Member
    Definitely is different with men! haha...

    I was recently invited to my bf's family's house to go swimming. I was contemplating on what bathing suit I should wear - as I have a one piece (that I hate) and a 2 pc. One of my friends stated, "not trying to be mean so please don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't wear your 2 pc in front of his family."

    I wasn't sure if I should be appreciative of her suggestion - or if I should be offended.

    My friend is currently larger than me (I love her regardless) but we have very different views on bodies. She would never wear a 2 pc, unless she was stick thin with no fat.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    If you ask for my opinion...you get it.
  • Quilla_Baby
    Quilla_Baby Posts: 13
    Everybody has a different relationship with their friends, however, when it comes to me and my friends we are really honest with each other and very straight forward... its just how we are. I do know that everyone is not like that some people are more sensitive than others.. i guess it depends on whether or not you think she can handle it or not. I would tell her the truth :)
  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
    Definitely is different with men! haha...

    I was recently invited to my bf's family's house to go swimming. I was contemplating on what bathing suit I should wear - as I have a one piece (that I hate) and a 2 pc. One of my friends stated, "not trying to be mean so please don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't wear your 2 pc in front of his family."

    I wasn't sure if I should be appreciative of her suggestion - or if I should be offended.

    My friend is currently larger than me (I love her regardless) but we have very different views on bodies. She would never wear a 2 pc, unless she was stick thin with no fat.

    Sounds like maybe she wasn't being disparaging about your body so much as talking about showing too much skin in front of his family?
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    If a friend asks me, I always tell them what I think. I wouldn't be rude about it, though.
    I would hope a friend would be just as honest with me.
  • GnochhiGnomes
    GnochhiGnomes Posts: 348 Member
    I'm really honest with certain friends, because I know they can take it.
    Though with other friends who are more sensitive I'll them they'll look good then ***** behind their back.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Why not?? I'm brutally honest with strangers.
  • peles_fire
    peles_fire Posts: 501
    Yes. There is such a thing as Loving Brutal Honesty. Just because you are being honest you don't need to say "You look like a tramp, a slut, a whale, a sausage, insert derogatory term here."

    There is always a kind way to say things. You just have to think before you speak. All of my friends know I will be honest with them and they don't ask me unless they want the truth. And you know what? They love me all the more for giving it with a side dish of sensitivity. It is a fine line to straddle, but it can be done!
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    Always. I would tell her to burn it.
  • Fish_Hook
    Fish_Hook Posts: 18
    I don't really have a nice way of saying this....BUT.....if your friend was wearing an outfit and asked your opinion, would you be brutally honest and tell her what you really think? Is there a way to be "gentle?"

    What if your friend doesn't ask your opinion...would you tell her if she looked "fat?"

    Just curious....

    As a friend you should always be honest. If I looked like a clown based on how I dressed if my friends couldn't tell me then that just wrong, you just have to be tactful about it.
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,641 Member
    My friends and I are very outspoken with each other, so yes I would be brutally honest to a friend. If something doesn't look good on her, I will tell her just like how she will tell me, ha ha.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    I'm a jerk so yeah i'll be honest.
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    I expect my friends to say "hey... Yeah that's not flattering" as I would do for them.
  • lowpro1983
    lowpro1983 Posts: 305 Member
    LOL...well maybe I am the fat friend ....she has told me before that SHE wouldn't wear my 2 pc. (which is probably why I've only ventured out twice in it)
  • cheerforsteelers
    cheerforsteelers Posts: 686 Member
    I usually go shopping with one of my good friends and she's a plus size girl. She carries her weight mainly in the middle section while I carry mine all over and have a bigger chest than her. She can pull off some great outfits and I tell her how great she looks if I think the outfit is flattering. She will ask me my opinion and I'm always honest with that. She knows her middle section is not always flattering in certain outfits. I would never say anything like: hey, you look fat in that. BUT I will say something like: I don't think that outfit flatters your body. I prefer to have my friends be honest with me mainly when I ask them. I don't ask questions like: does this make me look fat when I know something does.
  • klynn81
    klynn81 Posts: 178 Member
    If a friend asks my opinion on something they all know that I'm gonna be honest with them even if it's not what they are going to want to hear. They love that about me. That's just the way I am, and I'd prefer that more people were like this.

    So say for example...If a friend were wearing something that didn't look great on them I wouldn't say "hey you look fat in that", but I would say "it's not very flattering, I think something else would look nicer".

    But....if you don't ask, I won't tell.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    I would be brutally honest because I expect people to be honest with me.
  • LilMissSunshine_
    LilMissSunshine_ Posts: 520
    I would tell them what I think. I would just find a nice way to put it.
  • MadiRose2
    MadiRose2 Posts: 145
    "People who are brutally honest take more satisfaction out of the brutality then the honesty." Don't be brutally honest. Say it nicely. Don't hurt your friend by telling the "brutal" truth. Not cool.
  • skinnyfithealthyme
    skinnyfithealthyme Posts: 213
    I would tell her "It's okay but I think something like *blank* would flatter you more" or "it's not you it's the clothes"
  • kympow
    kympow Posts: 145 Member
    If she asked, I would tell her it didnt look good....only if she asked my opinion.... She would know not to ask if she didnt want the answer ;)
  • Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt
    Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt Posts: 226 Member
    I tend to be honest but not brutal. Like if a piece of clothing looks awful/makes her look fat, I don't say "Wow, those skinny jeans are giving you an epic muffin-top!" but would say "I don't think that particular style looks good with your figure. You'd look better in (insert different color/shape/style/etc)." It softens the blow (and is a lot more helpful) to be able to suggest something that might look nicer, rather than just point out how not nice they look at the moment.
  • aljeca
    aljeca Posts: 83
    When my friend directly asks me what I think, and she's contemplating a purchase, I tell her the truth.

    If we're already out and she's in a bad outfit that there's no possible way to change out of and asks - maybe not so much.

    I would never offer an opinion without being asked, unless there was an impending wardrobe malfunction that I could foresee then I would say something to help out!
  • admorris98
    admorris98 Posts: 3
    My friends come to me when they want a brutally honest opinion. I have always said if you don't want the honest to God truth, I am not the person to ask.

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