Would you be brutally honest to a friend??

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Replies

  • DPernet
    DPernet Posts: 481 Member
    for guys this works all the time..,.i dont htink it works as well for women.

    Yup, friend at work walked in and all 3 of us guys immediately asked if his wife was ill. He was wearing the worst shirt ever. He admitted it was the last one in the wardrobe. His wife is away for a girls week and he has run out of decent clobber.

    We then proceeded to rip him a new one for not being able to wash and iron his own clothes :laugh:
  • minnesota_deere
    minnesota_deere Posts: 232 Member
    ask her if she/he likes it and why. than agree.
  • stephvaile
    stephvaile Posts: 298
    i never say anything unless my friends ask for my opinion and they only ask me if they are prepared for complete honesty as i generally don,t hold back :laugh: :laugh:
  • AwesomePossum82
    AwesomePossum82 Posts: 93
    I would be honest but I would put it kindly.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    yes, i would. what else are friends for? honesty is the best policy!
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
    If I don't think its suits, I will be slow to respond, give a non-committed response and give a negative facial expression. I will never say anything overtly negative. Seems to work for me and my friends.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    I'd like to say yes, mostly because I hope my friends are being honest with me, but really on some level I don't think I'm qualified to judge. I wear mostly jeans and t-shirts and am 100+ lbs overweight, so who am I to say?
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Definitely is different with men! haha...

    I was recently invited to my bf's family's house to go swimming. I was contemplating on what bathing suit I should wear - as I have a one piece (that I hate) and a 2 pc. One of my friends stated, "not trying to be mean so please don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't wear your 2 pc in front of his family."

    I wasn't sure if I should be appreciative of her suggestion - or if I should be offended.

    My friend is currently larger than me (I love her regardless) but we have very different views on bodies. She would never wear a 2 pc, unless she was stick thin with no fat.

    Sounds like maybe she wasn't being disparaging about your body so much as talking about showing too much skin in front of his family?

    I don't even like my daughter wearing a 2-piece in front of male family members. I'm sure she was saying it in a way to be respectful/respectable in front of his family.

    ETA: I won't come out and tell someone they look fat in something unless they ask, but I always tell my bff when she's wearing something that makes her butt look good. :smile:
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    I don't give my opinion unless asked and usually my facial expression gives me away first lol
    If I don't like it ...whatever IT may be...I scrunch up my nose a lil bit, tighten my lips and you get an "ummmm....well...." usually I don't have to say anything more at that point....hahahah Just offer a suggestion for something else ;)
  • ChristineDiet
    ChristineDiet Posts: 719 Member
    Certainly not unsolicited! Ye gods... if one of my friends told me "by the way, you look really fat in that" I don't think I'd ever talk to them again.

    Now, if they ask it's another story. Especially when trying on something to buy. Then the opposite rule applies. If I try on something that looks god awful on me and my friends tell me it looks great and then I see a picture and they were lying... off with their heads! Totally don't want to buy something I look like crap in because no one wanted to hurt my feelings.

    ^^ this. x
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
    Depends on the friend. If it was a good friend and she asked, I would say so. Or I'd at least say "well that other outfit looked much better."
  • MoreThanMommie
    MoreThanMommie Posts: 597 Member
    If you ask for my opinion...you get it.

    ^Exactly. Don't ask if you don't want to hear it.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I don't really have a nice way of saying this....BUT.....if your friend was wearing an outfit and asked your opinion, would you be brutally honest and tell her what you really think? Is there a way to be "gentle?"

    What if your friend doesn't ask your opinion...would you tell her if she looked "fat?"

    Just curious....

    Nope. They are not asking for your opinion; they are soliciting a compliment. And, if they are soliciting a compliment, then they probably need one.

    I see no reason to be negative to someone I care for.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I can be honest without being brutal, by making sure I'm blaming the outfit ("those tapered pants just don't work, but a straight leg would look fantastic") and not her body for it looking bad. And ONLY if asked.
  • debboike
    debboike Posts: 20 Member
    Yes, I would tell her. You are her friend and you don't want her looking awful. She took you shopping for your opinion so be honest. I have always told people like it is and I really think they appreciate the honesty. Wouldn't you want to know if you looked like the Good Year blimp in an outfit!!:smile:
  • LeeshaNichole
    LeeshaNichole Posts: 179 Member
    Definitely is different with men! haha...

    I was recently invited to my bf's family's house to go swimming. I was contemplating on what bathing suit I should wear - as I have a one piece (that I hate) and a 2 pc. One of my friends stated, "not trying to be mean so please don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't wear your 2 pc in front of his family."

    I wasn't sure if I should be appreciative of her suggestion - or if I should be offended.

    My friend is currently larger than me (I love her regardless) but we have very different views on bodies. She would never wear a 2 pc, unless she was stick thin with no fat.

    For the longest time I only wore one pieces and always wore a shirt over the top-now you will not catch be in a one piece (Yes I am still very big 270-ish) a 2 piece not a bikini but the ones with a tankini and boy shorts are much more flattering then those awful one pieces. The one pieces show every dang imperfection. Even though she might think that way, I say wear the bathing suit your feel comfortable in. My best friend and I can be brutally honest with each I will flat out say and her the same with me-What the heck are you wearing? Go back and change! (but we have been friends for almost 20 years-more like sisters...we never hurt each others feelings)
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    "Honey, that outfit doesn't do you justice."
  • sl1ngsh0t
    sl1ngsh0t Posts: 326 Member
    I think being TACTFULLY honest is better than being BRUTALLY honest.
  • BrazenHarpy
    BrazenHarpy Posts: 81 Member
    To be honest, I'm not all that invested in the personal appearances of my friends. I don't think I will ever be compelled to take a friend aside and say, "Yeah, that looks terrible on you." How my friends choose to present themselves is their business.

    Similarly, I'd be pretty pissed if one of my friends decided to vocally disapprove of my appearance. I don't tell them what to wear, so they sure as hell shouldn't tell me what to wear either.

    I make an exception to this rule when clothes shopping with friends, because sometimes it's nice to have a second opinion.
  • je6305
    je6305 Posts: 29
    absolutely
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Absolutely I'd let them know. If they asked, they better be ready to accept the answer, whether positive or negative.
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    I would tell the honest truth. I mean, they are your friend, right? Do unto others as you would want done to you..nuff said! :smile:
  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    Generally I don't give opinions unless asked or when shopping. But I had a friend who told me that a shirt she had seen me wear the previous day was not flattering. She was afraid she had hurt my feelings but I was grateful to know not to wear it again! And she didn't say anything when I was wearing it because I couldn't change my clothes at that point.
  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
    If you ask for my opinion...you get it.

    Exactly!
    I am known for my brutal honesty. If someone asks my opinion, I will say " Do you really want to know?" and then depending on their answer I will tell them.
    I have one friend who thanks me for this, she says that is why she asks me, she knows that I am not going to sugar coat it.

    "Just the facts ma'am."
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    if my friend asked me, i would be honest, but i would not just flat out tell her she is fat, i might suggest some healthy food and exercise options tho
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    A best friend? Of course. That's why we're best friends. I only have 3 of those.

    All other friends, probably not.
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
    I would deffinatly tell my friend. They are my friend after all and I don't want them going around looking crazy. Anytime I see someone that is dressed crazy or their hair is all messed up I think to myself that person must not have real friends cause they wouldn't have let them leave the house looking like that.
  • CrueChix
    CrueChix Posts: 47
    I'm honest with my girlfriends. If something doesn't look good, I tell them and I expect them to do the same for me. A true friend will not be offended, but thank you.
  • marthathebear
    marthathebear Posts: 498
    "Nope. They are not asking for your opinion; they are soliciting a compliment. And, if they are soliciting a compliment, then they probably need one.

    I see no reason to be negative to someone I care for."


    Nice! I like this.
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
    Generally I don't give opinions unless asked or when shopping. But I had a friend who told me that a shirt she had seen me wear the previous day was not flattering. She was afraid she had hurt my feelings but I was grateful to know not to wear it again! And she didn't say anything when I was wearing it because I couldn't change my clothes at that point.


    This is such a good point. No sence in making your friend feel uncomfortable when they can't do anything about it at that moment but it was so great that she told you after the fact.

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