I think I need to be told I am fat

lilimini

I am the same! I seriously thought I was skinny. In my head - I was skinny back when I was 165lb. It wasn't until I took a photo of myself with less clothes on - that I could see just how big I actually was. Maybe you should do the same. Take a photo in a bikini or something - and then you will see that there is some work to be done.

Don't settle for just looking ok - you can look fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BrieLP

I am the same way! I feel all cute and everything and then look in the mirror! Total bummer! But you look fantastic, I'm 5'1 and 190 and look fat

kairisika

Are you up for brutal honesty?
I think many of us have started to lose our sense of overweight, because so much of the population is overweight. When we compare with 'average', we often forget that the average person these days is overweight.
I definitely don't see morbidly obese, but I definitely see overweight.

You look like you carry your weight very similarly to me - it's evenly distributed across your body. Some people gain weight and it turns into one big beer belly, or spare tire, or huge thighs. Some people instead gain weight very very evenly, and that makes it less visible. Instead of seeing one big fat area, it's a smaller layer of fat all over. So you don't look as heavy, and it's easy to not notice the pounds for a while.
Looking at your photo, there's no big fat area, but everything looks soft and having some extra width. Your waist doesn't go in much, but your body appears as though it naturally would. Your widest part is not at your hipbones, but below that - suggesting extra weight carried on your thighs. Your arms are extremely soft, and your wrists and hands look a bit puffy.

So I don't think you look too bad, and you definitely carry your weight well, but you probably do have a fair bit of extra fat on your body that doesn't do you any favours, and would probably be healthier losing some of it.

lean4life2

SCREW THE CHARTS! Everyone holds their weight differently. When I was 160 (I'm 5'2'') I didn't look near that, but I sure did feel like 200lbs. I'm 138lbs now and I have friends that are 160lbs, same height, that look thinner than me. Everyone carries their weight differently.

The nice thing about you is that you look like you carry your weight all around, so not just in one area. For me I carry my weight mostly in my stomach and thighs, everything else is pretty thin. Keep doing what you're doing and force yourself to cut back on unhealthy choices and huge portions (If this really is your problem). It is hard to cut it out, but once you do, it gets easier and easier and you don't even crave the junk food anymore.

Good luck!

yeah the unhealthy choices are my issue,but every time I try to totally cut them out I binge

Frood42

You look a little overweight as opposed to obese.
I don't think the top helps that you are wearing, looks a bit too old for you. :flowerforyou:

... I'm allowed an opinion ...

You have some nicer profile pics though, and some cute kids in one pic (was being nosy I know)..

lean4life2

I'm amazed, you carry your weight very well. I think you'll be hard pressed to find someone to tell you you're fat...

thank you

ElizabethRoad

Honest answer: you need to lose a few pounds to look your best and healthiest. But 40 pounds seems hard to believe.

natalie412

You definitely don't look morbidly obese - but that is partly because you are lucky enough to carry your weight really well. Even overweight, you have a shape!! That means as you lose weight you will look even better.

I was borderline obese when I started losing - a couple years ago. Lost 20 pounds, then got bored - gained a few back. Then I started here last fall, and lost 35 pounds. (So about 50 pounds total loss from my highest weight - 183 and 5' 5 1/2") I feel so awesome, and when I look back at pictures of myself, I can't believe how big I was. Like you, I didn't feel too bad about myself, I carried it well, but it was pictures of me that really made me realize I had to lose weight.

Find a sustainable way to start losing, start working out (that is what really made it a life changer for me), and start being more and more happy about how you look! Just wait until you see skinny pictures of yourself!

mnlght535

Might not be the answer you want, but you do not look obese. I totally relate to the "not liking myself in pictures thing." I have been that way for many years. As someone posted earlier, use the pictures you feel dissatisfied with as your motivation to continue to achieve the results you can be happy with. All I can say is that you do look great. Having said that, I hear those same comments from my family and friends and I just don't see it, at least in my pictures, but I too, feel confident and good about the way I look not in pictures. It's really weird for me too. Just keep doing what you are doing because you're rocking it Good luck with your future successes

cjkclark1

Charts are not for the individual. You do not look morbidly obsese at all. Now, I also understand the feel of small and the look of big at 5'2", but you have to know also that a camera will do its best to make you think you are hallucinating. That saying that it adds 10 lbs is not a lie. While what we see may push and motivate us for change, please know that you are an individual, and I will encourage you to change what you see to what you actually feel, but do not believe the hype of the standardized chart. :flowerforyou:

julieh391

I am the same way! Now that im losing weight, I've had so many days that I've felt good about how I look and then seen pictures (because I don't hide from cameras anymore) and realized I don't look as good as I feeel. Now I find myself asking my husband how I REALLY look over and over before I leave the house or looking at myself in mirrors constantly. One of my goals is to simply like how I look in pictures. That has nothing to do with BMI or the scale.

o2bADyer

I don't think you look obese at all! I understand the feeling though of feeling like you look great then seeing yourself later in a pic. Keep up the good work, you look fabulous.

Agreed...all of the above!

lean4life2

I was expecting one of two things: either an obviously obese person or thin delusional person. You're pretty normal sized, in my eyes, maybe a bit overweight but not disturbingly so. I doubt I would even think you were overweight if I were just looking at you, not trying to gauge your weight. For your height I would have guessed something like 150-160. You could stand to lose 20 pounds, maybe.

Fyi, I am the kind of person that will give an honest answer when asked this question, so believe me, I'm being honest. You're beautiful.

thank you for the honesty,you are too kind :flowerforyou:

RedHeadDevotchka

How DARE you! HOw dare you have the confidence to feel good about your body!
You don't look fat. So please don't tell yourself you are.

love22step

A litle chunky, but certainly not obese by my standards. On the other hand, my doctor told me I was obese at 5'6" and 180 lbs. I wasn't pleased with his comment, but it helped motivate me to lose the extra pounds, and I feel much better without them. Good luck!

caraiselite

i'm only an inch shorter and look way fatter... and i weigh less!

you look really good ;D

happythermia

Ok. I TOTALLY get what you are saying! You're feeling foxy, then see a pic and you're like WTF!!!

Personally, I think you look really cute in that photo. You don't look morbidly obese.

Will you feel cuter and foxier if you lose a few - for sure! That's why we're here :-)

robin52077

Are you up for brutal honesty?
I think many of us have started to lose our sense of overweight, because so much of the population is overweight. When we compare with 'average', we often forget that the average person these days is overweight.
I definitely don't see morbidly obese, but I definitely see overweight.

You look like you carry your weight very similarly to me - it's evenly distributed across your body. Some people gain weight and it turns into one big beer belly, or spare tire, or huge thighs. Some people instead gain weight very very evenly, and that makes it less visible. Instead of seeing one big fat area, it's a smaller layer of fat all over. So you don't look as heavy, and it's easy to not notice the pounds for a while.
Looking at your photo, there's no big fat area, but everything looks soft and having some extra width. Your waist doesn't go in much, but your body appears as though it naturally would. Your widest part is not at your hipbones, but below that - suggesting extra weight carried on your thighs. Your arms are extremely soft, and your wrists and hands look a bit puffy.

So I don't think you look too bad, and you definitely carry your weight well, but you probably do have a fair bit of extra fat on your body that doesn't do you any favours, and would probably be healthier losing some of it.

this

and BMI is flawed.
If it says you're morbidly obese, I don't buy that. You may have more lean mass than is typical at your height/weight ratio.

So, if you posted this just to hear all the "helpful" people say over and over how great you look, you are not gonna get that from me. I hope this wasn't a veiled cry for compliments....

Not morbidly obese, but definitely overweight. You have work to do. For your health, for yourself, and for your children. You could be healthier at a lower body fat percentage. Aim for that.

mnlght535

I am the same way! I feel all cute and everything and then look in the mirror! Total bummer! But you look fantastic, I'm 5'1 and 190 and look fat

^^^^^^^Same for me totally that...except I am taller and weigh more

ElizabethRoad

Don't worry about your BMI too much. If you can find out what your body fat percentage is, that would be a much better indicator.

marvelmo

Ah, thinking you look better than you think you are, trying passing a mirror and not recognizing you now that's "fooling yourself - (me) the clique a picture is worth a thousand words also adds 10 pounds. Regardless of many complimentary posts it's how you feel about you that counts. for many years I connected losing weight to food- I am coming to terms with its way more than food. When I eat too much I ask, what the heck is going on in my head? Way to go with exercise! Be kind to yourself

thatsnumberwang

I think what you're looking for in this thread is motivation. The charts say you're obese, and you feel like you should lose weight (because the charts say you're obese), but because you don't *look* obese, you're having trouble finding the motivation to lose weight.

Am I right? If I am, you need a different source of motivation. It's not going to be your appearance, because that's fine. For what it's worth, feeling lousy about your appearance isn't the healthiest source of motivation anyway.

So what *will* be your motivation? Maybe you want to wear a bikini next year. Maybe you want to get great at lifting weights (all the cool ladies are doing it :glasses: ). Maybe you want to run a marathon. Maybe you want to make an ex-boyfriend super jealous. Maybe you just want to impress your friends on MFP by hitting your calorie goal day after day.

Figure out what really motivates you, and makes you feel good, and use THAT.

My $.02.

lean4life2

While I'm all for making someone feel good about herself, sometimes we need a kick in the pants, right? You carry your weight very evenly, I never would have guessed 190. While I don't look at your picture and think "that girl's obese!" you obviously know you need to lose some weight or you wouldn't have written this post. Here's the reality, though and I'm giving it with love and respect... I'm about your height and if I ever saw 190 on the scale I'd be much more than a little unhappy. In fact I hit 140 last year and was VERY unhappy because I was about to fall into the "overweight" category. That was my wake up call and the moment I got into action.

Don't let people convince you of something you know is untrue. If you know you're overweight and are unhappy about it, do something. Do it for you because you know that 190 at 5'3" isn't healthy no matter what people tell you. Good luck on your journey, wherever it takes you.

You should have seen my face the day I had my children,I weighed close to 240 with both of them :noway:
I know I am overweight and unhappy about it,I just dont think that I need to lose 50lbs to feel,look and be healthy.
It is a lot less overwhelming thinking "I need to lose 30 /40 lbs" and doesnt seem so unrealistic.(I weighed 155 on my honeymoon 13 years ago,then got pregnant with my son and have yet to get under 170 in the past 10 years :ohwell:
I always have people tell me that I look fine and do not need to lose weight,I know I just hold my weight well and that healthwise it would be better to lose anything,even 20lbs.
thanks for your honesty

DeMarraDontStop

Honey please, you got curves, work em'!

karenlavinia

OMG! I've actually tried to talk to people about this before. Nobody understands. I've said that I have body dysmorphia - only with me, I see a thinner person than I really am. Like you, I look in the mirror and think I look pretty darned good. But I am actually 50+lbs overweight. The funny thing is that people took pics of me at different events over the last 9 months and I think I finally saw what I look like. I'm actually in the obese category!

Viewing yourself as looking better than you really do is a problem. I find that I'll lose 15 pounds or so and then I decide I look and feel really great and so, stop my fitness and diet plan. I am determined not to let that happen this time. A part of the problem is that I carry my weight all over - it's distributed fairly evenly. Most people would not dream that I weigh what I do.

I'm focusing on small goals and getting fit. Thank you for sharing this. I truly have never met anyone with the same problem/view. ~KL

Robin_Bin

No, you don't look obese or fat to me... but that's not really the point is it? Many of us have gotten used to weights that are higher than are good for us. Are you fit? Do you want to live a long, healthy life?
I was at a good weight for so much of my life, and the weight crept on slowly, so I also have trouble believing that I really, really do need to lose weight. Although I don't carry it as well as you, I do seem to "fool" some people. For instance, the store clerks won't always bring me the size I need, or they'll bring a smaller size too... "just in case". Now after 4 months on MFP, they might be right about a different size. :happy: But the more important thing is that I feel so much better... I can walk farther and do other things without tiring.
So maybe you don't need to be told you're fat. There's no reason to feel badly about yourself. But could you feel better about yourself and enjoy a healthier, more active life if you exercised more and ate better?
P.S. Don't you also want to be around to see your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren...? And to be able to run and play with them? And to set a good example for them, so they're more likely to live a healthy, long life.

Feisty_Red

Dont EVEN get me started on that SCALE of everyone's body is the same deal!! Do what looks good you :flowerforyou: You look great :happy:

isabel88g

If you think that you look morbidly obese I dont want to know what people think of me

bsudano

Are you up for brutal honesty?
I think many of us have started to lose our sense of overweight, because so much of the population is overweight. When we compare with 'average', we often forget that the average person these days is overweight.
I definitely don't see morbidly obese, but I definitely see overweight.

You look like you carry your weight very similarly to me - it's evenly distributed across your body. Some people gain weight and it turns into one big beer belly, or spare tire, or huge thighs. Some people instead gain weight very very evenly, and that makes it less visible. Instead of seeing one big fat area, it's a smaller layer of fat all over. So you don't look as heavy, and it's easy to not notice the pounds for a while.
Looking at your photo, there's no big fat area, but everything looks soft and having some extra width. Your waist doesn't go in much, but your body appears as though it naturally would. Your widest part is not at your hipbones, but below that - suggesting extra weight carried on your thighs. Your arms are extremely soft, and your wrists and hands look a bit puffy.

So I don't think you look too bad, and you definitely carry your weight well, but you probably do have a fair bit of extra fat on your body that doesn't do you any favours, and would probably be healthier losing some of it.

I like brutal honesty, and I like this.

The fact is, you don't look morbidly obese, but "carrying weight well" doesn't do your heart any favors. If you lose the 40 pounds, you will live longer, feel better, and look better too. Did I mention live longer?

I'm one of those so-called "lucky" people that carries weight well. I would tell people how much I weighed and I'd get an astonished "Really!? No, there's no way!" in reply. So the weight crept on, and I kept feeling okay about myself. Until finally I'd put on 90 lbs and I felt like crap. People still tell me I don't look as heavy as I am, but I sure don't look healthy or fit.

Don't get complacent with looking okay while being morbidly obese. The "morbid" part will eventually catch up with you, no matter how good you look in your clothes.

ixa73

I think we interpret how we look in the mirror quite differently to how we see ourselves in a static image like a photo. I spent my teenage years thinking I was fat when I was in the normal BMI. Then I did put on weight and hit the overweight BMI bordering obese but I kept telling myself it was still fine and I wasn't really that overweight. This is called denial. Depending on what I wore I looked reasonable, and friends and family minimise how overweight you look because they are bound by social codes (which is why the question Does my bum look big in this? usually results in someone telling you what you want to hear).Our society has become so used to overweight we are calling overweight curvy and obese chubby and minimising the damage we are doing to ourselves and the generation that follows our example.
I did all sorts of quick fixes that didn't last because I LOVE food and stopping my 'diet' meant eating whatever I felt like. I read post yesterday that inspired me the guy had lost a huge amount of weight in a good, intelligent way and he said
Food controls your weight; exercise controls your health. That's my new motto. I can't keep playing mind games with food - like I've been "good" all day I "deserve" a treat, "I'll be good tomorrow" or "I've already "broken" my diet I may as well go the whole hog and really indulge" MFP has helped me get control of how many "stupid" calories I eat and this has been a revelation to me. Keep pushing for healthy and as your body shape changes you'll become aware that your perseption of what you looked like before will change as well. Hope it's motivating not depressing.