I think I need to be told I am fat

NWCountryGal

This is exactly what happened to me. I hadn't allowed my photo to be taken in awhile and then I set up the camera to take one of my sis and I. I never thought I was fat til I saw that pic. I wasn't happy before because I was always griping about finding clothes to fit. I think I was in denial. Not anymore and on the road to health now;)

denise:drinker: :drinker:

Some people think they are much bigger than they are,I think I have the opposite problem,I think/feel that I am smaller than I am.
I wore this outfit the other night and felt so good,then I see the picture and am like ...not feeling so good.
I weigh 190 and need to lose at least 40 lbs to be even close to a healthy BMI(more like 50+) ,but my motivation lately has been less than stellar,the working out,running ect is great I work out all the time,I just eat way too much :sad:
So tell me do I look morbidly obese(I am only 5'3 so this is where I fall on the charts!)

Masterdo

I keep thinking that part of the obesity problem has to come from the fact that despite it being an objective and very publicly displayed fact, it's completely taboo to talk about weight. But telling someone, even when they ask for it, that they are fat is not that easy indeed

Fact is, "feeling" good or bad about your weight is not really the point, if you are on this journey for health benefits. Research don't tie heart problems or diabetes stats on how people are feeling about their weight, they tie it to the weight itself, or the BMI, or body fat %, whatever. A concrete and objective metric. Same goes for clothing sizes, if that is your objective. A size X (insert goal here) doesn't care how you feel about your weight either

Being positive about your image is very good though, and it'll just improve going forward too. Fact remains that the scale tips at 190, and that you are apparently not happy about this, no reason to stay there then Set a goal, reach it, and no matter how you feel now, you'll feel even better when you make it

Good luck!

ixa73

I got curious about the definition of "morbidly obese", so I looked it up:

Obesity traditionally has been defined as a weight at least 20% above the weight corresponding to the lowest death rate for individuals of a specific height, gender, and age (ideal weight). Twenty to forty percent over ideal weight is considered mildly obese; 40-100% over ideal weight is considered moderately obese; and 100% over ideal weight is considered severely, or morbidly, obese.

from http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Morbidly+obese

Thank you! So glad you posted this! People are using "morbidly obese" wrongly. It is not about how fat you look. It is a mathematical calculation which takes into account the percentage of fat you have relavitve to your height, age and gender. So if you're my height (5' 3") female and weigh153lb you're obese but if you weigh 200lb you're morbidly obese. It doesn't mean how you look or how you carry it it means you're at a higher risk of having a serious health complication or dying when compared to a person of same height, age and gender weighing 120lb.

maspicantexfa

I'm your same height and I look like a keg at 190 with huge flappy arms ... you look NOTHING like that ... you look fantastic!

Anyway, I have always found that it is easier to lose weight when I feel *good* about how I look and when I keep that illusion that I am smaller than I really am. Shame helps nothing, not even self-inflicted. Especially not self-inflicted.

kairisika

I know I am overweight and unhappy about it,I just dont think that I need to lose 50lbs to feel,look and be healthy.
It is a lot less overwhelming thinking "I need to lose 30 /40 lbs" and doesnt seem so unrealistic.(I weighed 155 on my honeymoon 13 years ago,then got pregnant with my son and have yet to get under 170 in the past 10 years :ohwell:
I always have people tell me that I look fine and do not need to lose weight,I know I just hold my weight well and that healthwise it would be better to lose anything,even 20lbs.
thanks for your honesty

Who cares about 50lbs? If you figure you maybe need to lose 20lbs, then lose those 20lbs. then have a good look at yourself, and visit a doctor and do a little learning about where your health is at, and then see there if it's time to lose more or not.

People will often tell you "no, you're beautiful! you don't need to lose weight! you're not fat!"
This is because:
a - we've linked weight and self-esteem too much. You *do* look good. that doesn't mean you don't also look fat. You *should* feel good about yourself. but that doesn't mean you should feel good about excess body fat. It is entirely reasonable to love and respect yourself, and choose to lose weight for those very reasons. Because everyone should respect themselves enough to take care of their bodies.
b - people prefer to deny reality rather than admit bad things, let alone recognise something negative in another person
c - most people are overweight themselves, and if they admit that you are obese and need to lose weight, that might force them to admit that they (who are in even worse shape) are obese and need to lose weight. People don't like confronting unfortunate realities like that.

GnochhiGnomes

You look overweight because of the slight double chin but not obese or morbidly obese at all.

runzalot81

Are you up for brutal honesty?
I think many of us have started to lose our sense of overweight, because so much of the population is overweight. When we compare with 'average', we often forget that the average person these days is overweight.
I definitely don't see morbidly obese, but I definitely see overweight.

You look like you carry your weight very similarly to me - it's evenly distributed across your body. Some people gain weight and it turns into one big beer belly, or spare tire, or huge thighs. Some people instead gain weight very very evenly, and that makes it less visible. Instead of seeing one big fat area, it's a smaller layer of fat all over. So you don't look as heavy, and it's easy to not notice the pounds for a while.
Looking at your photo, there's no big fat area, but everything looks soft and having some extra width. Your waist doesn't go in much, but your body appears as though it naturally would. Your widest part is not at your hipbones, but below that - suggesting extra weight carried on your thighs. Your arms are extremely soft, and your wrists and hands look a bit puffy.

So I don't think you look too bad, and you definitely carry your weight well, but you probably do have a fair bit of extra fat on your body that doesn't do you any favours, and would probably be healthier losing some of it.

this

and BMI is flawed.
If it says you're morbidly obese, I don't buy that. You may have more lean mass than is typical at your height/weight ratio.

So, if you posted this just to hear all the "helpful" people say over and over how great you look, you are not gonna get that from me. I hope this wasn't a veiled cry for compliments....

Not morbidly obese, but definitely overweight. You have work to do. For your health, for yourself, and for your children. You could be healthier at a lower body fat percentage. Aim for that.

I agree with these two posters. The first poster was very tactful and not brutal

You are not morbidly obese but you are overweight.

You do carry your weight well. Which, to me, means you are going to be super hot when you trim down!

ohmariposa

I think you look pretty :-)

jyuubi

Perhaps just over the overweight line, but you're not morbidly obese. I want to lose 125lbs, and my BMI will still be in the overweight section. I am morbidly obese.

nlwilliamson

Some people think they are much bigger than they are,I think I have the opposite problem,I think/feel that I am smaller than I am.
I wore this outfit the other night and felt so good,then I see the picture and am like ...not feeling so good.
I weigh 190 and need to lose at least 40 lbs to be even close to a healthy BMI(more like 50+) ,but my motivation lately has been less than stellar,the working out,running ect is great I work out all the time,I just eat way too much :sad:
So tell me do I look morbidly obese(I am only 5'3 so this is where I fall on the charts!)

I started my journey at 190lbs (there abouts maybe a little more) and I am also 5`3. I have lost 16lbs so far and i'm down to 174! it can be done. Yes, its tough and there are times when it sucks! But take it day by day. I am loosing in 10lb increments, first goal was loose 10lbs, now I am 4lbs away from my second goal of 20lbs!! trust me, it is worth it!!! add me if you like since we are so similar in stats, I will help motivate you!

shorty35565

I don't think you look morbidly obese. You kinda look like a pear shape, so where you carry ur weight is more acceptable looking that let's say ppl like me. I carry my weight in my belly and love handles mostly so I still look fat even at 5'5 129lbs.
If I'm honest, I'll say you don't look obese at all, but you do look overweight. You're legs are a bit chubby.
It's possible that you have a larger frame, so you don't have to go far down as some ppl who are 5'2. But I think to be healthy you should definitely lose. I mean, some ppl don't look fat on the outside but are fat on the inside, which is unhealthy.

mamagooskie

I think you look just fine, I would never use the words obese to describe you based on this photo.

SherriLibrarian

I'm your same height and close to the same weight. I didn't weight myself for several months and gained 20 lbs in less than a year! I am 49 though and it's so much easier to gain and harder to lose as you get into your late 40s. Like you, I had kids in my late 30s and exercised in my early 40s - 5Ks and the gym.

I reallly wish I would have changed my food habits 10 years ago. I started to have other health problems because of my carb addiction and other bad eating habits. I also had an injury and couldn't run. You do look great for your weight, but you would look better if you lost 20 lbs, maybe only 10. You're lucky to have the exercise down. Don't wait to eat healthy - nothing crazy, just balanced and limited junk. Track your food here and figure out what you need. You can still have the occasional indulgences.

marie_cressman

I agree with what many of the posters have said. You carry your weight evenly and you don't look 190lbs at all, but you are overweight for your height (obviously or you wouldn't be here asking). I wouldn't rely solely on the BMI charts though. I am 5'6" and 183lbs. I am technically almost 30lbs over weight (I should be between 124 and 155 according to the BMI chart I think). My goal weight is 160lbs. I had my body fat percentage measured recently and I fall within the healthy percentage for my age, gender, and height. I obviously have weight to lose and more fat on my body than I would LIKE to have so here I am. We can do this! Me, You, and so many others here. Buckle down and do what you know you have to do! Focus.

Laura8603

Do I think you look morbidly obese? No. I do think you look overweight and if I were in your shoes I'd want to lose at least 30 pounds and I'd increase my cardio and strength training to get more fit. I agree with the others who have said our society has become immune to seeing overweight people. Sadly, it has become acceptable to be overweight.

Reneefit135

I can see you wanting to lose some but no way would i think you are 190 especially at that height! You wear it very, very well. I would say maybe 10-20 lbs at most. But do whats best for your body and how you feel. I do think we are all too critical of ourselves i have had the same feeling but i think its true that sometimes cameras and the angle that we are captured can make us look bigger than we really are.

12skipafew99100

I WEIGH THE SAME AND AM A BIT TALLER AND I LOOK WAY FATTER THAN YOU. I HAVE A BIG STOMACH. YOUR WEIGHT IS DISTRIBUTED WELL. SORRY, YOU LOOK GOOD TO ME.

commanderval

You do not look morbidly obese. But you do look overweight. I had the same problem as you...I used to think I looked good in one outfit and then I would see a picture of myself and be like "Do I REALLY look like that???" I do have to say that you do not look like 190 lbs...I'm 5'3" and I looked bigger than you when I was 167!

Now, the funny thing about me is that, now that I've lost 30 pounds, I feel way more conscious about how I look than before. It seems like I had more confidence in my looks back in the days when I was 30 pounds heavier and thought I looked good lol!

Momjogger

I can TOTALLY relate. When people are shocked when they see me and tell me how great I look, I get offended and am like - What are you talking about, I have always been fabulous! LOL. It's true. People are astounded that I don't feel "totally" different. Um, hello! I am still me. Always was and always will be. I am just smaller now. Duh. Besides, I always thought I looked like this except when I saw pictures of me. I think it's called denial. Oh well. I think you look GREAT in your pictures. I lost weight for health reasons (wanted to donate a kidney but was too heavy to do it safely and since I have others in my family that have the same chronic disease I thought I should lose it now in case anyone else needs it - because how embarassing is it that you can't give a kidney because you are too fat. Yuck!) Lose weight for your health. Do it slowly, and keep being beautiful and fabulous!

Carolyn1012

I woulda guessed 140, I don't know where you're hiding another 50lbs. And thats a cute outfit!