Considering rehoming a husband.
Replies
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-This behaviour sounds very familiar. If he hasn't been coming home at night, I'm afraid that I owe you an apology...0
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I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
BESTEST!!0 -
Yelling at the TV is natural in any environment. It is the the laser light of that breed.
You should try some stimulus training.....it worked for pavlov.0 -
Clearly your pet has worm and possible a few other parasite.
An ideal treatment is to do an intestinal purge, fig and pumkin seed pie and wormwood tea. He'll never see it coming but it will get him off his butt. And running.
And other than an initial restricted diet, which will likely lead your pet to eat from outside garbage cans, it is a good idea to block him from eating out, hanging out with other mutts and bringing back worms and other parasites. The solution? Take the car keys and go max out the credit card on shoes.
Voila.0 -
BWAAAA-HAHA-AHHHHHH!
this thread is awesome and you should all feel good about yourselves.
teh poor menz. they can't catch a break. ;o)0 -
Do *not* contact the breeder. They are very territorial. Although they are likely aware of the issues you discuss, they will blame you for them.
I find that small rewards work best. Rewarding good behavior as opposed to punishing the bad is the best way to go.
I find husbands like beer, pizza, and cookies.
^^ this.
Mine responds well to positive reinforcement, but we don't do food treats. He gets extra "attention" for his good behavior. :blushing:0 -
I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
Fccking Genius !!!!0 -
Perhaps if you had him bred he would settle in somewhat...0
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You could trade him in on a new one. I know a guy down in Georgia who is well trained. The only place you won't be able to control him is in the bedroom.0
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glad i'm single.
although, a man that is a gamer would be perfect for me. i'd be yelling at the screen with him.0 -
Put pennies in a can and throw it when he misbehaves.
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I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
This is the best! LMAO0 -
I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
Fantastic!!!!!!!!
Love this... 0 -
LOL!!!0
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A good belly rub goes a long way to getting what you want
Dammit...now you tell me...I've been rubbin' the wrong thing all this time...
LMFAO!0 -
Thank you for this thread. I needed a good laugh today. (Although now everyone in the office is looking at me weird for laughing out loud....)
:drinker: :flowerforyou:0 -
Left something on the floor? Clearly he doesn't want it, put it in a black bin liner and leave it outside the back door.I have had this man for about 5 years total, although I only formally adopted him a year ago. Unfortunately, he is displaying a number of undesirable behaviors and I am considering rehoming him. I am trying to deal with the following behavioral problems:
1) He never puts his things away, instead he leaves them all over the place, usually on the floor.
Next time he doesn't wash up, cook a fabulous meal, and sit down and make it clear that you're enjoying every wonderful morsel. When he asks where his meal is, tell him "You didn't fulfil your deal, I'm not fulfilling mine"2) He is very lax in doing his chores, for example, he will leave the dishes in the sink for days, even though we have agreed that when I cook, he will do the dishes.
Duct tape. Awesome stuff. :bigsmile:3) He talks while I am trying to work at home--mind you, he isn't talking *to* me, he is just commenting out loud about whatever he is reading in a book or reading/doing online.
Lock him out. He'll soon figure out that doors matter.4) He constantly forgets to close doors, so our cats go places they aren't supposed to (e.g. the closet, or letting the unfriendly adult cat into the room with the kittens).
I refer you to my answer to question #35) He yells at the screen while playing video games, but he swears he finds video games enjoyable/relaxing.
Stop letting him get away with them.I really do care about him, I mean, he is like family, but I just don't know what to do about all of these problem behaviors.
But if you're making him shape up, you'd better be damn sure that your own house is in order first! :bigsmile:0 -
Rolled up newspaper and if that doesn't work - unplug the video games at a really important part.
^ This is terms for DIVORCE. Ladies, don't EVER do that to your man - or vice versa.
#girlgamers #hashtagsaresuperlame
Agreed. We both yell at our screens. It ends up being a bonding (or at least commiserating) experience. :P0 -
I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
OMG I just had to say "So funny and Thank You" made my night! I too have one who doesn't appear to be well trained. x0 -
Squirt bottle...
Hose might work better.
Attached to a pressure washer!
This is the funniest thing I've read all day.0 -
I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
LOL! You just made my day!
& to those who are being all uptight & serious about the post...learn to laugh just a tiny bit, please? It will make your life much more pleasant!0 -
ha ha ha!!! These are so great!0
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Some very good tips - might have to borrow some.0
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Reading this post makes me always think of this image...0
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I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
I'm going to use some of these 0 -
This is awesome! I read a lot of the responses to my husband. You guys are great!0
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I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
Great post and love this response!0 -
Take him back before it's too late. You cannot train a man.0
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Leave the door open and maybe he won't find his way home.
I have similar issues and have tried leaving the door open, but he always manages to find his way home!0 -
I considered the issues and have some "husband-whisperer" solutions for you since parting with him is possibly sad and/or financially difficult.
1) He never puts his things away - - SO - - put things away for him...for example, the dirty clothes on the floor are easily folded and replaced in his drawer. Eventually he will notice they are not getting washed unless they make it to the laundry basket.
2) He is very lax in doing his chores. He will leave the dishes in the sink for days - - SO - - serve him dinner on last night's dirty plate. As he scoops up lasagna and finds last night's broiled haddock in his mouth, he will eventually either do dishes or be hospitalized for food poisoning.
3) He talks while I am trying to work at home - - SO - - focus your attention on him intently. Follow him around and ask him to explain each thing he is doing. After 2 minutes and 14 seconds, he will tell you he needs to go to the bathroom, then he will slip quietly to the couch to watch tv if you pretend to look the other way. If he speaks again, repeat the focused attention on him. No husband can withstand focused attention for more than 8 minutes before he goes into shock.
4) He constantly forgets to close doors - - SO - - install cylindrical springs on all doors so that every door slams shut loudly as he walks through. Perhaps he will decide closing the door is better than hearing the slamming. He should be the one to uninstall the springs.
5) He yells at the screen while playing video games - - SO - - play along with the fantasy he is engaging in and yell, yelp, shout, grunt, whistle, or moan loudly after each of his vocalizations. He will immediately look at you and lose his game status which is troublesome to him. Eventually he will go mute so that you will too or he will turn off the game to focus on you if your moans were more interesting than the game. :blushing:
Best wishes with the ongoing training. Please don't be surprised if new behaviors surface once these are corrected. I am always available for consultation.
I must say that Number 5 works quite well! I've done that to my bf and he'll look at me strangely, and after a couple times of doing that he shuts up, and no more sounds come out of him!0
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