Quickie weddings or long engagements?

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  • argenterie
    argenterie Posts: 93 Member
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    I'm currently married, and very, very happy.

    Dating: for 8 years.
    Living together before getting engaged: 3 years.
    Engaged: 8 months.
    Married: 1.5 years and counting!

    I recommend LIVING with your partner for at least 1 year before tying the legal knot. It is very telling to actually live with someone -- you see their every day annoyances and it is much harder for them to hide something serious (like being an alcoholic or a cheater, as examples). My mom encouraged me to live with any man before I married him. And she was right.

    Just my opinion!! :)
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    We were together for more than three years before we got engaged, then engaged for about 18 months. I wasn't thrilled by the long engagement (he was deployed for 7 months of our engagement), but you don't always get what you want.
  • momRN2B
    momRN2B Posts: 247 Member
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    got engaged jan 2010, married march 2010 had my first child a little more than 9 months later at the end of december 2010. All 3 in one calender year. Now we are married a little over 2 yrs and we have 2 kids. Like others have said "when you know, you know"

    Oh and to add. I was not pregnant at my wedding. I was a virgin on my wedding night as I am religious. I got pregnant about 2 weeks after my wedding.
  • Jessika_Lynnn
    Jessika_Lynnn Posts: 14
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    My best friend in the entire world and my high school sweetheart started dating when we were Juniors in high school, have been dating exclusively for 6.5 years when he popped the question last December on our 6 year anniversary. We haven't set a date yet, and probably won't get married until at least fall of 2013. At first I just wanted to get married as soon as possible, because I just want to be his wife, more than anything in this world.

    But then I started thinking about it, and we've already lived together for almost 4 years, and I already have everything I could ever want in a guy, and in a relationship. If we go another 10 years without being married, that is fine with me, because just being with him is more of a blessing than I could ever ask for.

    Yes, I'm only 23 years old, but I like to think that I know more about relationships and making them work than most people. We have such a stable, healthy, awesome relationship, that even people twice our age look up to us.

    So yes, to quit boasting and answer your question, long engagements are our thing. But that works for us ;)
  • shastacrystal
    shastacrystal Posts: 262
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    Ive known my fiance for 5 years and 7months. We got engaged July 3 and we are getting married Dec 1st! If we hadnt already known and loved each other for over 5 and half years then we might have decided on a longer engagement but at this point we are so ready to say I DO! <3
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
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    I met my husband 11/25/1991 and were were married 12/20/1991. So I am going with quick weddings. And I know what everyone was thinking. No, I was not pregnant. Would have been too soon to tell anyway. Our first and only child together was not born until 1995.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,359 Member
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    Dated a year. Was engaged 3 more years before we took our vows. Been married now 7 years.
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 904 Member
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    I was engaged for a month. Wish I would have had a longer engagement. He didn't show his true colors until after we were married and had a baby on the way. Long story short, he decided that family life wasn't for him because we (the baby and I) interfered with his extramarital affairs and him trying to lead a 'single life' out and about. Needless to say, its over. I highly recommend long engagements.

    My ex-fiance and I had a long engagement. He wanted to get married ASAP at a place of his choosing. The whole relationship was 'all about him' and what he wanted. One of the things we did not learn was how to deal with conflict--it was always his way, and he would put up such a fuss when he couldn't have his way.

    He is now my ex-fiance.
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
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    I think there should be a happy medium for these kinds of things. I mean it is silly to be engaged for like 5 years because to me it just shows you really don't want to get married. Congrats on your 13 years! =)
  • TinaBaily
    TinaBaily Posts: 792 Member
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    First marriage: met and were married within 3 weeks of meeting. Were legally married for only 24 months, had a son from the experience, and learned a lot about what not to do.

    Second marriage: met in April, engaged in June, married in November, all of the same year. We've been happily married now for close to 24 years, have 5 kids, and look forward to spending our lives together as the kids grow up and move out. (We are down to 2 at home now.) I guess I knew what I wanted when I found this one! :love:
  • Lmezz11
    Lmezz11 Posts: 619 Member
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    Strange you would ask this question the day after my best friend told she was engaged to a guy she's been dating for about 2 months. I'm happy and deathly afraid for her at the same time. I guess its true that when you know, you know... but how well do you really know a person after two months??? This is coming from a single girl who hasn't found "the one" yet though...
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    We got engaged on our 1 year anniversary, engaged for about 3.5 months, married for 5.5 years and counting. Unless you have a very specific reason (planning a crazy elaborate wedding, school, budget, etc...), I don't really see the point in long engagements, but that's just me.
  • ajohn252
    ajohn252 Posts: 158
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    Together four years, then got engaged.
    Two years later still engaged... boo.
    Oh well we started dating very young and got
    engaged young as well so it's really just a time
    of life issue. Hard to believe it's been six years!
  • CurlyGurlie88
    CurlyGurlie88 Posts: 89
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    I've been dating my fiance for 3 yrs, we are getting married in Oct, we decided to get married in June, basically as soon as possible and let me tell you planning a wedding is not fun. haha
  • SF2514
    SF2514 Posts: 794 Member
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    Strange you would ask this question the day after my best friend told she was engaged to a guy she's been dating for about 2 months. I'm happy and deathly afraid for her at the same time. I guess its true that when you know, you know... but how well do you really know a person after two months??? This is coming from a single girl who hasn't found "the one" yet though...

    I don't know how well you can really know someone, but when you know you just know lol. I didn't know my husband's favorite color or food and had no way of knowing if he was honest or faithful (which he is =). All I knew was that he was the one for me. Good or bad, thick and thin. I was trying to explain this the other day to a friend. It's like there's a magnet between myself and him. It's the weirdest feeling but it's like my soul needs to be near his. When we lay in bed I can literally feel a pulling sensation inside me. I want/need/know I am meant to be with him.
  • MrsLeyva11
    MrsLeyva11 Posts: 90
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    I really think time is a matter of what feels right. My husband and kind of sped things along, because we got pregnant right away.. but we dated for 6 months, were engaged for 10 months, and have been married almost a year now.

    Granted, I can't prove to anyone that our marriage is still 'going strong' because we haven't been married that long, but I will say to you..

    I canceled our long engagement (we were supposed to get married Dec of this year) but I canceled the wedding, and we ran off and had a marriage ceremony with the Justice of Peace at the courthouse on a whim. And that night of the ceremony was the first night I had slept in months. That's how I knew it was the right decision.

    My only regret is that I wish I had done it sooner, instead of fussing over wedding plans for months and months and months. If it's right, you'll know. :) Do what YOU Feel is right, and don't think about what other people are going to say. And don't go in with the mind set of "What if it doesn't work"? Because you'll just psyche yourself out.
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
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    Didnt live together or sleep together before marriage, dated 8 months, engaged for 4 months and had a pretty good size wedding. Its been over 4 years now and its the best thing that's ever happened to me.
  • Starla_
    Starla_ Posts: 349
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    Met him, 2 weeks later I was pregnant, a week after that he proposed, 4 months later we were married, I was 22, he was 26. 8 years in sept.

    I never wanted to get married but he was so excited for it and I just let it happen. I really did think I loved him though but if I had known then what I know now I would never have done it so quickly. I definitely would have waited until after our son was born to make a decision.
  • Starla_
    Starla_ Posts: 349
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    I don't know how well you can really know someone, but when you know you just know lol. I didn't know my husband's favorite color or food and had no way of knowing if he was honest or faithful (which he is =). All I knew was that he was the one for me. Good or bad, thick and thin. I was trying to explain this the other day to a friend. It's like there's a magnet between myself and him. It's the weirdest feeling but it's like my soul needs to be near his. When we lay in bed I can literally feel a pulling sensation inside me. I want/need/know I am meant to be with him.

    I agree here, when you meet the other half of your soul, you will know :) there will be no hesitations.
  • jacqui1612
    jacqui1612 Posts: 128 Member
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    I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now, and we talk about getting married and having kids and everything. We are hoping to get engaged soon (when he saves the money for they ring, and we want to move out first). We will be having a fairly long engagement. Probably 2 years. We want to pay for everything ourselves so we need to save. Then as soon as we are married, we will starting trying for kids.. I am really excited!!!

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