Quickie weddings or long engagements?

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Replies

  • kt2134
    kt2134 Posts: 45
    I loved loved loved reading all these stories. I'm 21, my boyfriend is 28. We met 3 years ago, it was just a casual relationship. He moved to the UK, we lost touch. Reconnected in January and have been together since. He still lives in the UK but we constantly talk about getting married, kids, basically planning our future.

    The romantic in me is dying to get married, be his wife live happily ever after. But, I know it'll be smarter to wait until I'm sorted out, we're actually living together awhile (to make sure we don't hate each other lol). Plus, he has children so it's not just about us, it's about how this will affect them. I'm giving it 2 years for a proposal and the only reason we'd be engaged for a long time is if we were saving for the wedding.
  • jordanreddick
    jordanreddick Posts: 197 Member
    Been with my boyfriend almost 1 year. Have looked at rings, talked about marriage, and even started planning a honeymoon. I joke with him about all the stuff we are talking about being great and all but in ten years when he proposes it might be different, lol. We don't live together, we have both been married before, taking it as slow and as fast as it naturally flows. I know I want to marry him, he just has to ask.
  • pag41989
    pag41989 Posts: 39 Member
    I was dating my husband for 2 years and was engaged for almost 2 years and we have been married for 2 years and we just had our daughter 10 months ago :)
  • fleur_de_lis19
    fleur_de_lis19 Posts: 926 Member
    My husband and i started dating in Sept of 08, Engaged Feb 09, Moved in April 09, Married Sept 09 and pregnant with our child in Oct 09. Our lives hit fast forward, but for the both of us, we don't regret it. I actually knew my husband in high school, where we both had crushes on each other and fooled around a bit, but never dated. He was always more of a friend than anything. That in its self is more foundation than most people get and thats what holds us close, our friendship.

    My brother, who married his wife within 6 months of knowing her, told her "I wouldn't put a ring on your finger today, if i wouldn't marry you tomorrow" And i believe that's really what that symbol means. Not "hey, lets live together a bit, see who this goes, waste time in both or our lives". If people are real with themselves, you can tell within a few months tops if you could spend the rest of your life with someone. The moment I saw my husband again, after years of being apart... I hid behind a pillar and had to catch my breath. I knew right then and there, that he was the man I would spend the rest of my life with.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    I always think that the "Long Engagements" are just opportunies for each person to chicken out/change their minds, maybe find someone better in the meantime. Maybe end old business with their EX. I think some guys give a ring, just to satisfy their lady, and NEVER set a actual date... Or they set a date 5 years from then... Why? Ooooh... So they can do all the planning and spend lots of money, and experice the Bridezilla effect. One thing I never wanted to do. Not sure why so many women have to turn all Bridezilla and spoil themselves to the extreme... And wish for many many gifts. Isn't it about LOVE? Isn't the GIFT the other person committing to you? Being there for you until you die?

    We dated for 2 years. He asked on exactly our 2 year anniversary... Made the DATE later that month, and 8 months later, had a small NON-Showy wedding on the beach. With just the immediate family, and without Bridezilla situations... My dress was rented not bought new.. This way I wore a dress that was extra fancy (One that was very expensive to buy new) and we kept it simple... I think its more about the marriage, than spending buttloads of $ for soley one day... We did have a reception later that year with 75 ish people, in a fairly nice place. We were both working, and were lucky to get two days off to get married. And later that year when our work was slow, we had the reception. Aug 23rd this year will be our 4 year wedding anniversary... And Dec this year we will have been together for 7 years. WaaahWow! This is our first and only marriage for both of us. And we are proud parents of two Poms....
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
    My husband proposed to me 2 months after our first official date (we had an unofficial date 5 days before that where he met up with me and my friend's ladies night out and we ended up making out at the bar). We had been talking to each other at work for about a month before that.

    We got married 2 days before the 1 year anniversary of that unofficial first date in the bar. We would have gotten married sooner but my sister was getting married in July of the same year and threw a fit we were considering a small legal ceremony before hers so we didn't. We set the date the day after he proposed to me and 2 months later I got my engagement ring with a more public proposal with the ring!!!

    This November will be 11 years, completely faithful and committed to one another and looking forward to another 50 years together!!!
  • LizHowerton
    LizHowerton Posts: 329 Member
    I always think that the "Long Engagements" are just opportunies for each person to chicken out/change their minds, maybe find someone better in the meantime. Maybe end old business with their EX. I think some guys give a ring, just to satisfy their lady, and NEVER set a actual date... Or they set a date 5 years from then... Why? Ooooh... So they can do all the planning and spend lots of money, and experice the Bridezilla effect. One thing I never wanted to do. Not sure why so many women have to turn all Bridezilla and spoil themselves to the extreme... And wish for many many gifts. Isn't it about LOVE? Isn't the GIFT the other person committing to you? Being there for you until you die?


    This exactly.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    I am newly wed...(going on two weeks this Thursday).

    We had been together for 9 years and had lived together for 8 of those years when he finally proposed to me. We were engaged for 1 year and 7 months before we got married.

    It wasn't our intention to be engaged for that long but we had to reschedule the wedding due to a death in the immediate family.

    I don't think Long Engagements are a good idea because it is better to keep the engagement fairly fresh in everyone's minds...so much can change over a year or two or three....

    That being said, I understand that there are financial restraints when it comes to marriages, and some people have to wait for their 'ideal' location (the wait lists are SUPER long these days)....so sometimes the engagement time is longer.

    I didn't want any of these hassles when planning my wedding, that is why I got married in Vegas... :)
  • t_wagner19
    t_wagner19 Posts: 2 Member
    Started dating at 17 (he was 21), engaged at 18married at 19. We will be celebrating 15 years of marraige in October and have 3 beautiful children (13, 11 and 6) to celebrate with us!
  • amiscci
    amiscci Posts: 64 Member
    Ha! My husband and I dated for NINE YEARS including living together and buying a house before taking the plunge. This February we will be married for 23 years so.... That makes along time!
  • PandaDreamerGurl
    PandaDreamerGurl Posts: 45
    Technically my husband and I were only engaged for 12 hours before we got married. We had everything planned out for us to get married... even though he had't "officially" asked. He asked the night before we got married. We were together for 7 1/2 months before we finally got married. We're still newly webs though. Married only 6 1/2 months.
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
    I had known my husband for 4 years but we were only together a total of 6 months before we were married thanks to a pending deployment that pushed our wedding date up by 9 months! We ended up divorced and my next engagement was going to be a total of 16 months long! 3 months into it I called it off. My ex and I are back together and plan to get re-married. We're going to sign the papers on our original wedding day so it will be 11 months now.
  • LuLuSUPER
    LuLuSUPER Posts: 189
    Awwwwww :heart: congrats to the sweet love stories!!!

    Myself and that guy were datng 3 years and engaged for one year, we lived together for about 60 days before things began to unravel. Fortunately we parted as friends. but I highly reccommend testing the waters and use a year of engagement. Unless the sky opens and elvis comes down and says that person is the one.

    Love is a grand feeling. Make love make sense too is all im saying.:flowerforyou: :wink:
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    Dated 1st hubby 18 months, engaged 18 months. . .married @ 25. Divorced 5 years later.

    Dated hubby #2 3 weeks. . .he bought ring. . .waited to propose for 2 months. Bought house together same day we got engaged. Married at 8 1/2 months. . . still married @ 8 1/2 years. Looking forward to another 50+ years together!!!

    I knew on our first date I was going to marry him. 5 short months after my dissolution was finalized.
  • AndreaK1021
    AndreaK1021 Posts: 7
    My husband and I met in April, moved in together in September, got engaged in October, married the next April. We've been married for 5 years and have a wonderful 4 yo daughter.
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    Dated for 6 years throughout high school and college, got engaged, Engaged for 5 years, Married for 3 years:) 14 years of my life with the love of my life!!:heart:
  • JosieRawr
    JosieRawr Posts: 788 Member
    I've been with my s.o. for six years last February, we have lived together most of this time, we have a beautiful four year old, we're not married, but we are each others. I don't see a line separating engaged and married I guess(other than a few things like the ymca not letting us sign up as a family). We plan on getting married, but it's going to be more of a celebration of our love, than the beginning of the rest of our life, we're already living our life together. Our daughter will be my flower girl and it's going to be at the Scarborough faire, going to have a blast and I do admit that I'm looking forward to our honeymoon ; ) and I totally think people with a child/ren are more apt to appreciate a honeymoon lol.
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    Met November 5, 2005
    Left for Navy boot camp January 30, 2006
    Came home on leave after boot camp/school May 27, 2006
    Engaged May 28, 2006
    He got stationed 700 miles away in summer 2006
    I moved in with him October 30, 2006
    Married November 3, 2006!

    Still together after a few rough but good years!
  • itsuki
    itsuki Posts: 520 Member
    We've been dating + living together for 5 years. Not engaged, not married. We own a home together, share expenses, share finances, share families. The only difference between us and a married couple of a piece of paper. So why bother? If it ever saves us on taxes, we might do it. But until then, I don't see why we need a ceremony or a certificate to prove that we're in this for the long haul.
  • ohmykai
    ohmykai Posts: 210 Member
    There really is no right or wrong here.... Get to know the person first and foremost..... I was engaged for 1 1/2 years.... And I don't regret, we moved in together also after 1 month.... Of course here we are 13 later about to divorce but that is a whole different story... You have to get to know each other, marriage is a HUGE COMMITMENT.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    Well, I'm scared to be married, which is why we're doing a common law thing in Canada, but I'll have a ring from my great-grandmother to wear for about 6 months this Christmas before we have a celebration then we're moving to Canada.

    Been together over 3 years as of now, and we'll be "married" (common law) just past the four year mark.

    Been living together for the past year, and before that, we lived together during the summers and winters I was home from school (I went to uni in a different country, did the LDR thing for 2 years before we both got sick of it and I moved back to my homestate)

    Someone said before, you can love 'em, doesn't mean you still don't want to strangle him! And I find that's so true! He's my best friend and lover and most awesome person ever but I still want to throttle him when he bugs me AGAIN about putting the ice tray in the "right" spot in the freezer. OCD much, honey? haha ;P
  • mmulick
    mmulick Posts: 1
    Personally I think short engagements are dangerous because you don't know the person well enough to commit the rest of your life to. Had a sister marry someone only after a few short months. Bad marriage because she didn't have enough time to really get to know him, needless to say marriage ended. Long engagements or at least long dating 2-3 years.
  • stomachflu
    stomachflu Posts: 134 Member
    Met briefly at a party in the UK. Kind of kept in touch for a while. I went to visit friends in the UK and we hit it off. One month later he was moving in with me in the US. 3 months later he proposed, couple weeks after that we got married. Will be 15 years next year!
  • quinn84
    quinn84 Posts: 10
    I met my hubby at work in 2001
    Started dating May 2004
    Engaged November 2009 (I was in school while we were dating)
    Married August 2011

    :)
  • PandaCustard
    PandaCustard Posts: 204 Member
    I met my husband and started dating 6 years ago. Five years ago, he proposed, but we decided to wait until we were a bit more financially stable. We finally married on October 13th of this year. :)
  • TheRyanMeister
    TheRyanMeister Posts: 6
    By the time my fiance and I have our wedding, we'll have been engaged for two years. We've been together 4 years total. By the time we get married, it will be almost 5 years that we've been together. I knew the day I met him I was going to marry him. Life got in the way, the military got in the way (deployment) but I wouldn't change any of it. As long as him and I are together, married or not, all is right in the world.

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