Girlfriends - I Have To Rant Here

PaleoRDH

Aaaaannnnnnnd...............what's the surprise ending? Group hug??? Awwwwwwwwwww........ :grumble:

apocalypsepwnie

Id punch her in the *kitten*.

HAHA. Call her out on it and say "While you're having brunch with X on Sunday, maybe he can take you out all day Saturday too"

I actually LOVE this idea, because she wants me to take her to art museums and to hear classical music, both of which bore me to tears, but HE would love that crap.
Maybe he can take her out, and drop her off with me when it's time to get her drunk and dancing on a bar.

Ok so this is where I got seriously suss on her.
Ever think she's getting you to take her to these places because a) He likes this crap and she wants to be able to have something to say so she can weasle in and b) She wants to do it with you so she knows what he likes about you can play that herself?

I've had a 'good friend' do this EXACT same thing to me. She knew my bf first, they were friends but she wanted more. She became friends with me to find out exactly what is what I had that she didn't. She then would invite him out to dinner/lunch on the basis of being friends and then try and pull crap to get him to leave me and be with her.

My response would have been to get her stupidly drunk and make a fool of herself. Possibly confessing to what she was doing. I'd get her so drunk she'd be too hungover to go out to brunch. I'd go instead. Then I'd tell her 'I did because he was left waiting, knew you were staying with me and called me to see if you were ok. Uh... I thought you were going to feed your kids?'

b*tch. Not cool and not ok. She decieved him to get the date and has used you.

Update ploise!

sel254

Id punch her in the *kitten*.

This and I'd show up to brunch....

This!!!

PeachyPlum

So, I can't actually believe the number of people who are even interested in what happened. I planned to post an update yesterday, but I was completely exhausted and slept almost all day. I'll try to keep this short, although being concise is not really in my nature.

Friday evening, the guy came to me and told me the whole story in person. She had contacted him saying she was spending the night at my house, and did he want to meet up? He said sure, maybe we could all go to brunch, and she said "Actually it's just me. I want to see your paintings." He said "Oh, they aren't in a gallery or anything, they are all in my house." to which she replied "I know, I want to come to your house."

He was stressing out, saying he didn't want her to come to his house and he was really uncomfortable with this, and would I intervene? I told him I wasn't his mother, if he didn't want her to come over, he needed to tell her so. I did also mention that she had lied to me about her plans, which upsed him. He really wanted me to put a stop to this, or keep her out so late she would oversleep and miss their brunch. I told him he needed to man up one way or another.

Saturday, I woke up determined to have fun regardless of whether this girl was sneaking behind my back. Shortly after she showed up to my house, she blurted out "I'm going to David's house tomorrow to look at his paintings." I told her that was nice, and I was sure he'd enjoy showing them off.

Funny, she didn't seem that interested in art when we were at the freaking art museum. She barely looked at the exhibits.

She said she only had like an hour to see them, because she had to go home and take her kid to a birthday party for another coworker's kid.

She also told me that she never really noticed David until I had told her he was a really great guy and that I really liked him. Then she took a second look at him and decided she liked him too. (Ummm... no **** princess).

Mid-afternoon, she started texting another coworker and decided she wanted to meet up with him, which was fine with me. I was getting a little bit tired of hosting all by myself. We met up with him, went out to eat, and went to a comedy club. At that point, I texted David asking if he wanted to join us at the comedy club and he was welcome to join us. He declined but said he'd like to meet up with us afterward.

After the comedy club, this girl announced "I want to get drunk. I want Long Island Iced Tea."

Oh, HELL yes. Homegirl hasn't really drank in ten years, and she's on a mission.

David met up with us, there was much drinking, particularly on this girl's part. We went dancing, then walked around the city until we all sobered up some. When the girl and I got home, it was 5:00 in the freaking morning, and my alarm clock was going off for my run. Which I obviously didn't go on.

I woke up around nine, and heard her getting into the shower. I got up and showered too, then found her in my guest bathroom doing her hair. She said that she didn't get to go see David's paintings because he was still asleep, but she had to leave because the birthday party was in an hour and a half (this was actually accurate, I was invited to the party as well) and she had to go get her kid ready for it.

As soon as she left, I went back to sleep in the couch. I'm too damn old to party like a 22 year old. A couple of hours later, I got a text from David saying "I just got back from brunch with Mimi, she said she didn't get to see enough art with you, so she wanted me to take her to the galleries too. I hope she had fun."

I told him that was nice and then went back to sleep.

Clearly, I'm done with her because she's a lying *kitten* snake. I'm done with him because he lacks either the desire or the testicular fortitude to decline an invitation from another woman, even when he knows she's lying to me about their plans.

I'm too disinterested in the both of them to even be pissed about it anymore, but it was a valuable reminder to me to trust my instincts when I think someone is being shady. I obviously needed that reminder.

No twats were punched in the making of this story, which is kind of a shame. On the plus side, nobody had to bail me out of jail for assault!

EvgeniZyntx

You dumped a guy because he had brunch with her?
High drama!

Rhea30

So, I can't actually believe the number of people who are even interested in what happened. I planned to post an update yesterday, but I was completely exhausted and slept almost all day. I'll try to keep this short, although being concise is not really in my nature.

Friday evening, the guy came to me and told me the whole story in person. She had contacted him saying she was spending the night at my house, and did he want to meet up? He said sure, maybe we could all go to brunch, and she said "Actually it's just me. I want to see your paintings." He said "Oh, they aren't in a gallery or anything, they are all in my house." to which she replied "I know, I want to come to your house."

He was stressing out, saying he didn't want her to come to his house and he was really uncomfortable with this, and would I intervene? I told him I wasn't his mother, if he didn't want her to come over, he needed to tell her so. I did also mention that she had lied to me about her plans, which upsed him. He really wanted me to put a stop to this, or keep her out so late she would oversleep and miss their brunch. I told him he needed to man up one way or another.

Saturday, I woke up determined to have fun regardless of whether this girl was sneaking behind my back. Shortly after she showed up to my house, she blurted out "I'm going to David's house tomorrow to look at his paintings." I told her that was nice, and I was sure he'd enjoy showing them off.

Funny, she didn't seem that interested in art when we were at the freaking art museum. She barely looked at the exhibits.

She said she only had like an hour to see them, because she had to go home and take her kid to a birthday party for another coworker's kid.

She also told me that she never really noticed David until I had told her he was a really great guy and that I really liked him. Then she took a second look at him and decided she liked him too. (Ummm... no **** princess).

Mid-afternoon, she started texting another coworker and decided she wanted to meet up with him, which was fine with me. I was getting a little bit tired of hosting all by myself. We met up with him, went out to eat, and went to a comedy club. At that point, I texted David asking if he wanted to join us at the comedy club and he was welcome to join us. He declined but said he'd like to meet up with us afterward.

After the comedy club, this girl announced "I want to get drunk. I want Long Island Iced Tea."

Oh, HELL yes. Homegirl hasn't really drank in ten years, and she's on a mission.

David met up with us, there was much drinking, particularly on this girl's part. We went dancing, then walked around the city until we all sobered up some. When the girl and I got home, it was 5:00 in the freaking morning, and my alarm clock was going off for my run. Which I obviously didn't go on.

I woke up around nine, and heard her getting into the shower. I got up and showered too, then found her in my guest bathroom doing her hair. She said that she didn't get to go see David's paintings because he was still asleep, but she had to leave because the birthday party was in an hour and a half (this was actually accurate, I was invited to the party as well) and she had to go get her kid ready for it.

As soon as she left, I went back to sleep in the couch. I'm too damn old to party like a 22 year old. A couple of hours later, I got a text from David saying "I just got back from brunch with Mimi, she said she didn't get to see enough art with you, so she wanted me to take her to the galleries too. I hope she had fun."

I told him that was nice and then went back to sleep.

Clearly, I'm done with her because she's a lying *kitten* snake. I'm done with him because he lacks either the desire or the testicular fortitude to decline an invitation from another woman, even when he knows she's lying to me about their plans.

I'm too disinterested in the both of them to even be pissed about it anymore, but it was a valuable reminder to me to trust my instincts when I think someone is being shady. I obviously needed that reminder.

No twats were punched in the making of this story, which is kind of a shame. On the plus side, nobody had to bail me out of jail for assault!

No you are not his mother but you stated you were his friend. You knew he didn't care for her going over there and you tell her that he would enjoy showing them off?? When did you ever "man up" in any of this? It doesn't appear from what you wrote that you acted as a friend to him at all.

PeachyPlum

No you are not his mother but you stated you were his friend. You knew he didn't care for her going over there and you tell her that he would enjoy showing them off?? When did you ever "man up" in any of this? It doesn't appear from what you wrote that you acted as a friend to him at all.

It is now my responsibility to decline dates for him, because he is not assertive enough to decline them himself? I disagree.

rml_16

You dumped a guy because he had brunch with her?
High drama!

No. She dumped a guy because she wants a guy who isn't a wimp.

OP -- you handled it well. Time to move on. :-)

PaleoPath4Lyfe

No you are not his mother but you stated you were his friend. You knew he didn't care for her going over there and you tell her that he would enjoy showing them off?? When did you ever "man up" in any of this? It doesn't appear from what you wrote that you acted as a friend to him at all.

It is now my responsibility to decline dates for him, because he is not assertive enough to decline them himself? I disagree.

Very true. If he is that much of a timid man that he won't tell someone how he truly feels, then I would take a long hard look at that person too. Especially if I were interested in creating a relationship with that person.

I don't like timid people that won't tell others how they feel to spare their feelings. I used to be one of those people and I am no longer one of those people.

Rhea30

No you are not his mother but you stated you were his friend. You knew he didn't care for her going over there and you tell her that he would enjoy showing them off?? When did you ever "man up" in any of this? It doesn't appear from what you wrote that you acted as a friend to him at all.

It is now my responsibility to decline dates for him, because he is not assertive enough to decline them himself? I disagree.

You don't have to decline but you don't have to encourage it either which you did by saying he would enjoy showing them off to her. That's not a good friend imo.

stork32

I know this was a long time ago. But i wouldve called her out. The problem isnt the guy thing, its the fact that she's straight up lying to you about it. Thats ridiculous, immature, and just plain stupid.

Rhea30

And telling someone to 'man up' and you're not their mother is also pretty insulting, so you insulted him and encouraged it instead of just saying you don't feel its your place to do so.

vim_n_vigor

I'd tell her I knew what her breakfast plans were and that I didn't appreciate it. Why would you hide it?

kimberlyhaddix

Agreed you handled it quite well. A lot more tactful than I would have back in my dating days. Time to move onto greener pastures! The right guy is out there somewhere and I am sure you will find him.

jensedun

What a mess. Sounds like he was trying hard not to do anything behind your back, which was good. However, he shouldn't have asked you to clean up for him by declining on his behalf. Sounds like he went through with the brunch because he is too passive to say no, which may be one of his issues. She stayed true to form and lied to you AGAIN, even though she did finally fess up about her first plans with the guy, so I would definitely be done with her. The guy may warrant another chance since he was caught in the middle of a murky situation. I think you are probably right on about him though.

rml_16

Can I point something out to those insulting and berating Peachy?

On one side, she has a guy who she is interested in dating and supposedly he's also interested in her. On the other is a "friend" who is lying to her and trying to move in a said man.

The man doesn't have the cajones to say no to the lying, deceiving friend and wants the girl he wants to date to get in the middle and do it for him.

I'd say Peachy was just too disgusted and annoyed by them both to be the go-between for the guy and in the end, she probably thought he got what he deserved. I think so, too.

vim_n_vigor

I'd tell her I knew what her breakfast plans were and that I didn't appreciate it. Why would you hide it?

I just caught up on your post. The two of them both have issues. It isn't your job to handle either of their business. I hope your week gets better.

conniehv40

I am an honest person, so I would tell her you know of her plans and that it was hurtful and then I would tell him the story too. You don't have to make her life miserable, but they should both know you are smart enough to see the truth for what it is...

Carrying this around is ridiculous. Just take 20 seconds of courage and call the woman. Explain that you knew all along and was hoping she'd make the right choice. In speaking with the guy, I would say-here's what happened.

No need to be the punching bag for either of them....

tmauck4472

hahaha that's awesome, but I'd be sure that in the future chats with both of them they know your reasons for not wanting anything to do with either of them. Just so they know that your NOT gullable. Make sure they know your happy with your decision about them not being a part of your life. Who needs friends like these two, her for lying and really trying to take a guy she knows you were interested in and him for not standing up for himself. Good riddence to both of them.

Thanks for posting what you did about it :laugh:

gabrielled

Cancel out on the whole deal. She is using you so she can crash at your house after stuff you DON'T WANT to do, and so she is close to him so she can have brunch. CANCEL. Oh, and, CANCEL THE FRIENDSHIP. No one needs a user. A little help or give and take now and then is acceptable, but she is crossing the line.