Girlfriends - I Have To Rant Here

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  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
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    Um, okay. I think she needs some lessons in appreciation. Obviously you were compassionate enough to her, and her current predicament to do all that stuff. She should have at least been honest!
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
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    No you are not his mother but you stated you were his friend. You knew he didn't care for her going over there and you tell her that he would enjoy showing them off?? When did you ever "man up" in any of this? It doesn't appear from what you wrote that you acted as a friend to him at all.

    It is now my responsibility to decline dates for him, because he is not assertive enough to decline them himself? I disagree.

    I think you handled it quite well actually. We all agree the girl is NOT your friend and is a lying snake. Now we SHOULD all agree that David is a wuss and doesn't have the cahones to step up and say no to a lying snake that he absolutely KNOWS is a lying snake. That would only make for a very untrustworthy relationship between you guys in the future to begin with. You already know he doesn't know how to tell another woman no (or did he even WANT to tell her no?).... I think your perspective on the situation is absolutely correct and healthy. Why stay involved with people in your life that will only add unnecessary drama? :drinker:
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
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    Saturday, I woke up determined to have fun regardless of whether this girl was sneaking behind my back. Shortly after she showed up to my house, she blurted out "I'm going to David's house tomorrow to look at his paintings." I told her that was nice, and I was sure he'd enjoy showing them off.

    This would have been a good opportunity to tell her that it did not make you comfortable or that you simply did not want her to do that. It seems like you didn't really communicate how you really felt about it to her, even after she told you.

    Yes, she lied about the rest of it, but I think you could have made it more clear to each of them how you felt and how uncomfortable and unhappy it made you.
  • predent
    predent Posts: 95
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    Girls are the worst.

    Before my boyfriend and I were dating, we had this mutual friend who was a girl with a boyfriend. Once she found out that boyfriend and I liked each other, she decided that she liked him too (despite already dating somebody). She even told my current bf that she would break up her relationship to date him and he was like, "uhhhh nooooo?" She used to text him telling him to come to her apartment whenever he was over at mine, or ask him to take her places like Planned Parenthood when she thought she was pregnant (shouldn't that be HER boyfriend's responsibility... he had a car too). Anyway, to make a long story short, he told her things would never happen between then and a few months later, they moved away to Orlando... lol.

    Almost all of my friends are guys now. No drama. Love it.
  • mts3779
    mts3779 Posts: 28 Member
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    Hey from a 49 Yr old's point. I would of not liked the sneeky part, that is just wrong. BUT, I would let the guy say yeah or nay with seeing her. Or you could go to the guy and just tell him how you feel, and see where it goes from there.
    I think she used you. I have seen it a million times before. Telling you she needs to get home to feed her kids but really is meeting David for brunch is a lie. Why hang with a liar? If she lied to you this time, will she lie to you again? Plus you showed her such a good time...A user. I would tell her how you feel about being used. I would also just remain co workers.
    Just say-in. I would not punch her in the *kitten* though. LOL. :-)
  • tlafrance
    tlafrance Posts: 106 Member
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    I fail to see the problem unless you have specifically said he is off limits and she should respect your friendship. I also don't see where she lied to you, it seems more like she omitted a detail.

    I fail to see how the guy is your territory unless you are an exclusive couple, and it doesn't seem like you are based on what you describe.

    If she's interested in him for a relationship or sexually, she can make a move on him. It is up to him to reject her, and it sounds like he will.

    I do think her behavior is somewhat poor form though.

    Agree!
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    I fail to see the problem unless you have specifically said he is off limits and she should respect your friendship. I also don't see where she lied to you, it seems more like she omitted a detail.

    I fail to see how the guy is your territory unless you are an exclusive couple, and it doesn't seem like you are based on what you describe.

    If she's interested in him for a relationship or sexually, she can make a move on him. It is up to him to reject her, and it sounds like he will.

    I do think her behavior is somewhat poor form though.

    Agree!

    Couldn't disagree more.

    Friends don't hit on people their friends like. Basic rules.

    You shouldn't need to explicitly explain to someone why they shouldn't do that...
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
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    No you are not his mother but you stated you were his friend. You knew he didn't care for her going over there and you tell her that he would enjoy showing them off?? When did you ever "man up" in any of this? It doesn't appear from what you wrote that you acted as a friend to him at all.

    It is now my responsibility to decline dates for him, because he is not assertive enough to decline them himself? I disagree.

    I think you handled it quite well actually. We all agree the girl is NOT your friend and is a lying snake. Now we SHOULD all agree that David is a wuss and doesn't have the cahones to step up and say no to a lying snake that he absolutely KNOWS is a lying snake. That would only make for a very untrustworthy relationship between you guys in the future to begin with. You already know he doesn't know how to tell another woman no (or did he even WANT to tell her no?).... I think your perspective on the situation is absolutely correct and healthy. Why stay involved with people in your life that will only add unnecessary drama? :drinker:

    I agree with all of this. You handeled it really well. I can totally see why you wouldn't want to see either on of them socially.

    Thanks for posting the update!
  • LovePBandJ
    LovePBandJ Posts: 288 Member
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    She is using you.

    He is stuck in the middle just trying to be a nice guy.

    You don't want to have an awkward relationship with her since you work with her, so let her pay your way to all of these activities she wants you to take her to and let her pay for gas. Since she is getting a free place to stay and a driver for the weekend, you should have some of your expenses covered.

    Then, keep her as a distant acquaintance, because you have now learned she is a person who lies and uses people.
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
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    The whole thing is kind of nuts.

    I'll definitely maintain a civil coworker relationship with her so as not to have any workplace drama, but I no longer consider her any kind of friend. The guy I will still probably be friends with, but he's obviously proved himself not to be boyfriend material. Better to know that now than months from now. :drinker:
    The other guy that we met up with got a phone number from a girl he danced with all night... fingers crossed that they'll hit it off, and at least something good will come out of the day! :tongue:
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
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    Oh no ):
  • Lina4Lina
    Lina4Lina Posts: 712 Member
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    there is a word for this... frenemy
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    *kitten* waffle knuckle sandwich.
  • pursuitoffitness
    pursuitoffitness Posts: 45
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    This. And tell her to back the hell off.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    Yeah, this.

    But tell her you know she asked your friend over. She's playing silly games. Don't you start too.
  • PinkyFran
    PinkyFran Posts: 54
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    This and I'd show up to brunch....

    absolutely! be at the brunch, just message your male friend and say you will be coming.....if you dont want to be treated like like a door mat dont be one......and above all do NOT spend you money on this girl.....then she is really shafting you!
  • meatqueen
    meatqueen Posts: 2
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    Let her know that you are not to be dissed on, If you are interested in this guy don't play little girl games, you are a grown woman , both youy and your girlfriend should grow up, don't let some lame *kitten* guy get between friends.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    . I also don't see where she lied to you, it seems more like she omitted a detail.

    I do think her behavior is somewhat poor form though.

    Seriously dude? she is doing way more than omitting a detail.

    I'd call her on it and tell her if she'd like a friend to hang out with that is great, but be honest or go home.
  • PayneAS
    PayneAS Posts: 669 Member
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    So, this morning, she finds me at work and says "You sleep in late on Sundays right?"

    See, I wouldn't have played around with her. I would have just said something along the lines of "Oh you want to know if I'll be up early enough to go to brunch with you and 'guy's name'?". Of course, then you could have really rubbed it in and just invited yourself along. Now THAT would have been evil. "Oh don't worry, I'll be up early enough to join you and 'guy' for brunch. I'm really looking forward to it!". /insert evil laughter
  • VogtAndrea
    VogtAndrea Posts: 236
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    I would let the lady know that you're not to be used as a stepping stone to what she wants and that you'd thought that she was a friend until that point.
    As to the guy, consider yourself forewarned and fore-armed.

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