"southern hospitality" myth or no?

toots99

Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.

Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.

Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.

That's because Texans don't know the war is over. Funny thing, my family is from the Carolinas never heard them say damn Yankees.

Texas is NOT DOWN SOUTH. It is the Southwest or better yet, its just Texas. That would be like calling New Jersey New England, close but not quite. As a New Yorker who has lived in Texas and family is from Down South (which is basically the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama etc) I have to say that many Northerners need geography lessons.

You're telling me that I need geography lessons? Ummmm, where on the map is Texas? Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it not one of the southernmost states?

I understand that there is a difference between the Texas and the "down home cookin'" south like the Carolinas, etc, I get what you mean. But, being a "yankee", as I've been called (and I'm not offended, I couldn't give a crap less what someone calls me), Texas is the south.

tashjs21

I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.

<-- I'm not the typical southerner I suppose. Born and raised in Biloxi, MS. I leave the house without makeup fairly often (like... every day? LOL) I don't make it a habit of brushing my hair (in fact, the "before" pictures are the only pictures where I actually did more than ran my fingers through my hair and pinned it back out of my face... LOL). I have no accent. I don't use the word "ya'll" or "ain't" and I call soft drinks "soda" rather than calling everything "coke". However, when we moved to Kentucky (which btw is NOT the south.... it is a southern state, but I don't consider this the south... no offense to Kentuckians... I do like it here! LOL), I was made fun of by some people for my children saying "yes ma'am/no ma'am" and "yes sir/no sir" to everyone and also calling people "Mr." and "Ms." rather than just blurting out their first names as if they were their friends (My children call my friends Ms. Chrissy or Mr. Noah... not Chrissy and Noah).

Now, I will say my mom hates that I don't wear make up and my brother likes that I don't wear it. He says I'm naturally beautiful and don't need it while my mom just says "Marie doesn't care how she looks". Actually, I DO care how I look, I just don't feel like I have to be done up all the time to be presentable.

I am generally polite, but if I don't like someone, I don't talk to them. If I see them in public, I will smile, but I will not stop to hold a conversation and I kind of let it be known I don't intend to either.

I am from Biloxi too!:drinker: I still say Mr and Mrs for everyone. My daughter is being taught that and we are looked at like aliens here in North Texas. :laugh:

I've known people to move up north with their kids, and have their kids told in school to stop using "ma'am" and "sir" the way they were taught here. Seems up there they think the kids are being smarta**ed when they use it. I know one set of parents that told the people at the school that that is what they're taught, it's how we show respect to elders, and that their child will not be taught differently.

:noway: Wow, just Wow! That is just sad.

toots99

Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.

Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.

Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.

That's because Texans don't know the war is over. Funny thing, my family is from the Carolinas never heard them say damn Yankees.

Texas is NOT DOWN SOUTH. It is the Southwest or better yet, its just Texas. That would be like calling New Jersey New England, close but not quite. As a New Yorker who has lived in Texas and family is from Down South (which is basically the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama etc) I have to say that many Northerners need geography lessons.

Texans don't know the war is over??? Seriously???? Good to know I'm a big, fat, racist.

Oh and Carolinas are not Down South, sweetcheeks. They're the east coast. Yayyyyy for geography.

:laugh:

toots99

I'm from Texas, btw...and yes, I consider myself from the South...Southwest, to me, means New Mexico and Arizona...

Thank you!

toots99

I do think people are more friendly in the South. I definitely know that people from up north are ruder on the telephone - I have a summer job at a call center that deals mostly with people from NY and NJ and BOOOOOOY are they rude! Maybe its because they know they're getting sucked into a bad deal, deep down... (i'm a third party verifier)

I work at a call center too. I would say you are dead-on. Folks in the NE are too impatient and loud and they are always the ones that think everyone but them is an idiot.

Being from the Northeast, they usually are.

Just kidding! :laugh:

JennyLisT

I call Savannah, Georgia my hometown, and I don't believe in anything called "southern hospitality". To me, "southern hospitality" means "being nosy and sniffing out gossip". It's how some of the women here operate.

TyFit08

I'm from Texas, btw...and yes, I consider myself from the South...Southwest, to me, means New Mexico and Arizona...

Thank you!

Ever been to El Paso, San Antonio, Amarillo, Lubbock, Midland. They have more in common with New Mexico than the South. the Northern portion of the state near Oklahoma has a Midwest vibe. Only the Eastern portion of the state has any semblance of the South.

And those that dispute that the Carolinas is the South needs a geography and history lesson. It's the Old South and still has plenty of plantation houses to prove it. The poster that said the SEC prior to expansion represents the real South and states that are culturally Southern. Parts of Texas are, but on a whole the state is not culturally Southern and has very little in common with the other Southern states.

Anastasia0511

Some of the post in his thread make it sound like Southerners are all fake and only nice to you cause they were told to be and that all that their women care about is leaving the house looking good. I live in the Hollywood Hills and it's kind of the same here too so maybe I've been brainwashed into thinking thats a good thing lol. The people in my neighborhood are far more fake than in your Georgia, Texas, Tennessee or Alabama neighborhoods believe me. I truly believe that oldschool Southern parents want their daughters and sons to grow up looking presentable, and do make a big deal about but try to encourage their kids to be civil in the world and do something productive with their lives. In LA its a race to see who's the hottest with the biggest T ITS, what car you drive and if you've slept with any celebrities, and if you haven't F you!
My mom had me wearing Emilio Pucci by age 9 and use to tell me that, "You can tell a lot about a person by the car they drive and the house they live in" and I fell for that shi* for years and it was so effing stupid to think like that. I was a Diva by age 10 and acted like that until I finally woke up at age 22 when I met a poor guy that I effing fell in love with and loved more than guy I'd ever met. And in a way his friendship handed me my *kitten* back to me and woke me the F up and thank God that it did.
Yeah I do live in an uppity part of town but I am a nice person and I love it here. I am nice to everyone 24-7, any color, size, race, gay, straight, in shape, out of shape, I don't care who you are and if you have less or more than me. If you're nice to me and we get along that is all that matters. My dad gave me this house and I would of been a fool to not take it. I love LA and just managed to live my life outside of its bubble and in my own little bubble.
I travel a lot. I work in the music industry so if anyone is going to treat people bad I would think it would be us and the band members. But I have always enjoyed Southern people and really do think a lot of them are super nice. Sheez some of the people we have met through the years make us gifts and homemade food when we've come back to their cities. Who the hell in LA does that lol, food banks, that's about it. There are *kitten* in ever state, every country yes I agree, but I myself really do like Southern people. And if they're fake then so be it. But I will give them credit for being DAMN good at it. Make these LA chicks look like amateurs.

Edited for typos

VelociMama

I grew up in Tennessee, and most southerners are nice to your face, but then go talk trash about you when you leave. I see my grandmother and my entire family do this all the time, and it is annoying. I'm like you OP. I'd rather know upfront if someone doesn't like me.

roachhaley

Southern hospitality is alive and well. We don't "pretend" to like people, we are raised to respect people..............UNTIL given a reason not to. So if your a stranger you are treated with hospitality and graciousness until we believe you don't deserve it. Then, the guns come out. Because we do all have one........or ten. We are taught to respect our elders, not to ask for handouts, to get dirty if and when necessary (sometimes just because we want to), and to work hard for what we have. In my neck of the woods in SC, the girls are taught how to act like ladies, how to hunt and skin animals, and how to fight like men. All that being said, you have our respect until you abuse it, then we can whoop your *kitten*, gut you like a hog, and hide you in the swamp.:devil:

well said! :drinker:

Anastasia0511

I call Savannah, Georgia my hometown, and I don't believe in anything called "southern hospitality". To me, "southern hospitality" means "being nosy and sniffing out gossip". It's how some of the women here operate.

I fricking love that place lol. And yeah maybe some "ya'll" do get a little nosey and into each others business (not you, but in general) but thats how it seems to be back in the South. And you grow up doing what the generations before you do and teach you, or you choose to think outside the box like me. I grew up in Beverly Hills and I am totally uneducated, quit school at age 15 to work in the music industry with my dad and do not fit the normal stereo type here. And I am Italian and all of my family are from Italy and New York and up until Growing Up Gotti and Jersey Shore people in my neighborhood effed with me and assumed I was a Soprano and I got treated like shi* just for my nationality. Now everyone is watching those effing reality shows with the Beverly Hills housewives and the OC housewives and glorifying that shi*. I think my town is the worst town as far as how we treat people. You Southern people can be a little nosey but in general you are a lot less dramatic, or seem like it to me anyway.

ValerieMartini2Olives

I went to North Carolina last year and every one was way nicer than here in the Chicagoland area. I loved it there so much, I almost didn't come back (and to this day I still wish I hadn't.)

Leeann3333

I've lived my entire life (30 years) in Mississippi, and the 'southern hospitality' is definatley still apart of the small towns here, the larger cities, I would say, no.

JennyLisT

I call Savannah, Georgia my hometown, and I don't believe in anything called "southern hospitality". To me, "southern hospitality" means "being nosy and sniffing out gossip". It's how some of the women here operate.

I fricking love that place lol. And yeah maybe some "ya'll" do get a little nosey and into each others business (not you, but in general) but thats how it seems to be back in the South. And you grow up doing what the generations before you do and teach you, or you choose to think outside the box like me. I grew up in Beverly Hills and I am totally uneducated, quit school at age 15 to work in the music industry with my dad and do not fit the normal stereo type here. And I am Italian and all of my family are from Italy and New York and up until Growing Up Gotti and Jersey Shore people in my neighborhood effed with me and assumed I was a Soprano and I got treated like shi* just for my nationality. Now everyone is watching those effing reality shows with the Beverly Hills housewives and the OC housewives and glorifying that shi*. I think my town is the worst town as far as how we treat people. You Southern people can be a little nosey but in general you are a lot less dramatic, or seem like it to me anyway.

I'm actually not a southerner. I'm a transplant from Ohio, but Savannah is the only city down here that isn't unbearable. I've been to other places in Georgia, and it's not pretty. I had a Bible thrown at me once.

Anastasia0511

I call Savannah, Georgia my hometown, and I don't believe in anything called "southern hospitality". To me, "southern hospitality" means "being nosy and sniffing out gossip". It's how some of the women here operate.

I fricking love that place lol. And yeah maybe some "ya'll" do get a little nosey and into each others business (not you, but in general) but thats how it seems to be back in the South. And you grow up doing what the generations before you do and teach you, or you choose to think outside the box like me. I grew up in Beverly Hills and I am totally uneducated, quit school at age 15 to work in the music industry with my dad and do not fit the normal stereo type here. And I am Italian and all of my family are from Italy and New York and up until Growing Up Gotti and Jersey Shore people in my neighborhood effed with me and assumed I was a Soprano and I got treated like shi* just for my nationality. Now everyone is watching those effing reality shows with the Beverly Hills housewives and the OC housewives and glorifying that shi*. I think my town is the worst town as far as how we treat people. You Southern people can be a little nosey but in general you are a lot less dramatic, or seem like it to me anyway.

I'm actually not a southerner. I'm a transplant from Ohio, but Savannah is the only city down here that isn't unbearable. I've been to other places in Georgia, and it's not pretty. I had a Bible thrown at me once.

Well yeah maybe I only see what I want to see lol. I am never in a town long enough to see the real deal I suppose. I loved that movie "Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil" with John Cusak but now that I think about it they had some serious *kitten* drama in that movies, with everyone knowing everyone's business, then Kevin Spacey's character the high end celebrity type figure sleeping with young gay men and then shooting them, and the drag queen, Miss Charlemaine "Two tears in a bucket, mother F**K it" haha. You're right, there is some crazy stuff going on in the south. I just never see it. Oh well. How about this then, some of the people in the south are cool and some aren't

Anastasia0511

@JennylisT

I had a Bible thrown at me once.

I was on a tour with Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson and let me tell you, I know all about Bibles being thrown in some of those cities lol. So you're right about that. Some of those small minded people from those places can act a little weird. I use to piss them off on purpose, "Does God know you throw his books around". "Can you go get God for me please" haha. I am not a Marilyn Manson fan and never was, a job is a job, but some of those effing religious people ... not even going to get started. Two things I do not discuss online OR in person are religion and politics. But I believe you with the Bible story seen it happen for months on that tour.

Edited to add your name, Jenny.

shannajojo

I'm a native Texan and I'm hospitable. I don't say "bless your heart". That saying drives me crazy. lo..

Jen_Jennings

Southern hospitality is alive and well. We don't "pretend" to like people, we are raised to respect people..............UNTIL given a reason not to. So if your a stranger you are treated with hospitality and graciousness until we believe you don't deserve it. Then, the guns come out. Because we do all have one........or ten. We are taught to respect our elders, not to ask for handouts, to get dirty if and when necessary (sometimes just because we want to), and to work hard for what we have. In my neck of the woods in SC, the girls are taught how to act like ladies, how to hunt and skin animals, and how to fight like men. All that being said, you have our respect until you abuse it, then we can whoop your *kitten*, gut you like a hog, and hide you in the swamp.:devil:

Classy LMFAO = "until we believe you don't deserve it. Then, the guns come out. Because we do all have one.... All that being said, you have our respect until you abuse it, then we can whoop your *kitten*, gut you like a hog, and hide you in the swamp". I'll take Cali anytime over that classless act. Who says that stuff? Deliverance much? "He got a real pretty mouth ain't he?"

Melanie_RS

I grew up in Tennessee, and most southerners are nice to your face, but then go talk trash about you when you leave. I see my grandmother and my entire family do this all the time, and it is annoying. I'm like you OP. I'd rather know upfront if someone doesn't like me.

^^^ THIS! and the women in polyester church clothes are the worst! At least in the midwest, they just straight up say things. I'm not fond of the old slave states...still a lot of issues, unfortunately.

Jen_Jennings

I grew up in Tennessee, and most southerners are nice to your face, but then go talk trash about you when you leave. I see my grandmother and my entire family do this all the time, and it is annoying. I'm like you OP. I'd rather know upfront if someone doesn't like me.

^^^ THIS! and the women in polyester church clothes are the worst! At least in the midwest, they just straight up say things. I'm not fond of the old slave states...still a lot of issues, unfortunately.

Many are absolutely closed minded on all areas of race, lifestyles, etc.... That is my biggest issue.