What is wrong with me? What should I do?

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  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Nobody LIKES exercise but just forget about the exercise for now and start with just one thing. Commit to logging your calories and trying to meet your target. If you can't do it as you go during the day plan your food and get it ready the day before for the next day. If you try to take it all on at once you will quickly loose focus. Once you are successful with logging here you may tackle the next hurdle of exercise. You do need to eventually do both to avoid being skinny fat but you don't have to do everything at once.

    Failing to plan is planning to fail. You can do it but YOU have to do it. None of us can do it for you. Go for it.

    I agree with most of what you said.....except the "Nobody LIKES exercise" part. That's a pretty unfair statement. I'm sorry that YOU don't like exercise, but there are a lot of us out there that do enjoy it. And maybe if you don't like it, you're doing it wrong. Find something that you do enjoy and that motivates you to get out there and improve your fitness.
  • lynnprice
    lynnprice Posts: 101 Member
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    screw finding the motivation.

    its holding you back.

    You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.

    Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.

    Willpower
    Determination
    Desire

    Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
    Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
    Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
    Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
    Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?

    Prove you want this.

    PROVE YOU WANT IT.

    or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.

    choice is yours, just as it always has been.

    good luck

    I think I'm in love
  • rwisner
    rwisner Posts: 60 Member
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    screw finding the motivation.

    its holding you back.

    You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.

    Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.

    Willpower
    Determination
    Desire

    Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
    Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
    Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
    Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
    Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?

    Prove you want this.

    PROVE YOU WANT IT.

    or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.

    choice is yours, just as it always has been.

    good luck

    Love it!!
  • cait0902
    cait0902 Posts: 127 Member
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    For those of you who for some strange reason seem to think I spend all my time on MFP or the internet, you're wrong. I certainly understand what you are saying; however, you really shouldn't assume you know how someone spend their days. Yes, I was on here early and I wrote a post asking for some advice, stories, suggestions, whatever. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help or advice. If you can do it all on your own and don't need anyone in your life, then good for you. Anyways, I wrote a post, read some responses then.....took my kids to the park and walked for an hour. So again, don't assume you know everything.

    Everyone else, THANK YOU! There are some really great stories and advice in here that have really got me thinking. Although a lot of you said to stop thinking, just do it! Which does work for me sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. Part of me thinks that sounds too simple, but I also read in here that it really is that simple. I will eventually find what works for me. I will make the necessary changes. I will lose weight. I want this. I need this. And thanks to those of you who added me as a friend, it's nice to know there are other people out there and that I'm not alone.
  • mellowmerlot
    mellowmerlot Posts: 4 Member
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    The fake it till you make it mentality is what I subscribe to. The motivation isn't going to be there all the time every day. And people around you will unknowingly try to derail your efforts! The best advice I can give in regards to exercise is make appointments with yourself and keep them. Don't think, 'Just Do It'! The more you think, the easier it is to talk yourself out of it. I struggle with the same thing. Just keep up the good fight! Also, the more you exercise, the more you're aware of what you put in to your body. It does seem to help make the better nutrition choices. :-)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    For those of you who for some strange reason seem to think I spend all my time on MFP or the internet, you're wrong. I certainly understand what you are saying; however, you really shouldn't assume you know how someone spend their days. Yes, I was on here early and I wrote a post asking for some advice, stories, suggestions, whatever. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help or advice. If you can do it all on your own and don't need anyone in your life, then good for you. Anyways, I wrote a post, read some responses then.....took my kids to the park and walked for an hour. So again, don't assume you know everything.

    Everyone else, THANK YOU! There are some really great stories and advice in here that have really got me thinking. Although a lot of you said to stop thinking, just do it! Which does work for me sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. Part of me thinks that sounds too simple, but I also read in here that it really is that simple. I will eventually find what works for me. I will make the necessary changes. I will lose weight. I want this. I need this. And thanks to those of you who added me as a friend, it's nice to know there are other people out there and that I'm not alone.

    dont get mad at the results youre not getting with the work youre not doing.

    good luck with the system thats already totally working for you.

    and when you ask for help, dont assume that only the sweet little 'its ok's are the ones that have the answers.

    if you really wanted change, youd really be digging deep to find it.
    if you really wanted to get fit, nothing could stop you from throwing yourself into it.
    if you really wanted to revolutionize your life and be someone your kids would look up to, you would sacrifice, sweat and do your very best to be MORE each week.

    But hey, going for a walk is kinda nice too.
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
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    Nothing is wrong with you! You're human.

    Here's three things that might help you come to a track you can follow:

    1.Do what you CAN do, no matter how small. It could be as small as just tracking your food, so you know where your danger spots are, and making one or two small adjustments a week.
    2. Do your best not to SHOULD on yourself. The SHOULDS are an instant recipe for feeling down.
    3. Trust that you will get there. You didn't gain all the weight in a day ... no reason to expect you will lose it all in one day, either!

    None of these ideas talk about motivation, willpower, or any of those other punitive-feeling concepts.
    They do talk about baby steps, and loving yourself.
    Love yourself enough to not beat yourself up for not being Ms. Perfect!

    Please feel free to friend me.
  • IdahoMAT
    IdahoMAT Posts: 9 Member
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    I heard someone say, once, that you may not feel like getting out and exercising, but you are rarely (if ever!) sorry you went when you are done. Don't think about it or wait for your motivation to arrive, just go and do. You'll feel so much better. Start with a walk tonight.
  • cait0902
    cait0902 Posts: 127 Member
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    For those of you who for some strange reason seem to think I spend all my time on MFP or the internet, you're wrong. I certainly understand what you are saying; however, you really shouldn't assume you know how someone spend their days. Yes, I was on here early and I wrote a post asking for some advice, stories, suggestions, whatever. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help or advice. If you can do it all on your own and don't need anyone in your life, then good for you. Anyways, I wrote a post, read some responses then.....took my kids to the park and walked for an hour. So again, don't assume you know everything.

    Everyone else, THANK YOU! There are some really great stories and advice in here that have really got me thinking. Although a lot of you said to stop thinking, just do it! Which does work for me sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. Part of me thinks that sounds too simple, but I also read in here that it really is that simple. I will eventually find what works for me. I will make the necessary changes. I will lose weight. I want this. I need this. And thanks to those of you who added me as a friend, it's nice to know there are other people out there and that I'm not alone.

    dont get mad at the results youre not getting with the work youre not doing.

    good luck with the system thats already totally working for you.

    and when you ask for help, dont assume that only the sweet little 'its ok's are the ones that have the answers.

    if you really wanted change, youd really be digging deep to find it.
    if you really wanted to get fit, nothing could stop you from throwing yourself into it.
    if you really wanted to revolutionize your life and be someone your kids would look up to, you would sacrifice, sweat and do your very best to be MORE each week.

    But hey, going for a walk is kinda nice too.

    What?? I was simply defending myself in saying that I don't sit on my *kitten* all day like some people were assuming and then you respond with this..... Alright, well, thanks for the advice?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    For those of you who for some strange reason seem to think I spend all my time on MFP or the internet, you're wrong. I certainly understand what you are saying; however, you really shouldn't assume you know how someone spend their days. Yes, I was on here early and I wrote a post asking for some advice, stories, suggestions, whatever. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help or advice. If you can do it all on your own and don't need anyone in your life, then good for you. Anyways, I wrote a post, read some responses then.....took my kids to the park and walked for an hour. So again, don't assume you know everything.

    Everyone else, THANK YOU! There are some really great stories and advice in here that have really got me thinking. Although a lot of you said to stop thinking, just do it! Which does work for me sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. Part of me thinks that sounds too simple, but I also read in here that it really is that simple. I will eventually find what works for me. I will make the necessary changes. I will lose weight. I want this. I need this. And thanks to those of you who added me as a friend, it's nice to know there are other people out there and that I'm not alone.

    dont get mad at the results youre not getting with the work youre not doing.

    good luck with the system thats already totally working for you.

    and when you ask for help, dont assume that only the sweet little 'its ok's are the ones that have the answers.

    if you really wanted change, youd really be digging deep to find it.
    if you really wanted to get fit, nothing could stop you from throwing yourself into it.
    if you really wanted to revolutionize your life and be someone your kids would look up to, you would sacrifice, sweat and do your very best to be MORE each week.

    But hey, going for a walk is kinda nice too.

    What?? I was simply defending myself in saying that I don't sit on my *kitten* all day like some people were assuming and then you respond with this..... Alright, well, thanks for the advice?

    I think you are taking this a bit too personally.

    going for a walk is nice.

    I did it this morning

    ?

    youre welcome
  • eazieske
    eazieske Posts: 212 Member
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    YOU CAN ADD ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WE ALL HAVE THESE KIND OF PROBLEMS IT OK TO ASK FOR HELP BUT ONLY YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN SO JUST START SMALL AND START WALKING OR RENT A DVD AND JUST DO IT !!!! = )
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
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    I waited months and months to get motivated and I just couldn't do it. Finally, I just chucked the motivation and started logging in what I ate every day on MFP. I exercised whether I felt like it or not. I just did it. You have to want it bad enough to change and *do* something about it.

    Motivation is awesome, but it can easily be set aside "just this one time" when I want a cookie, and then one time becomes many more times; that's why it needs determination to stay the course. Determination is great but it can easily lose its strength when faced with a big obstacle, that's why it needs motivation to remind it of what's important. They need each other.

    There are many, many things people do because it's a non-negotiable. They don't have a choice if they want to continue living the lifestyle that they are living.

    My husband doesn't think about being motivated to go to work, he just gets up and goes because we have bills to pay. I don't think about being motivated to go shopping, meal planning or cooking the meals for my family, I just do it because I have a family to feed. So, we DO have motivation to do things, obviously, but we don't wait to be motivated to do it. We just do it, because it's a non-negotiable.

    If we look at exercise and healthy eating as a non-negotiable, it takes away the "power" it has to stop us. We just DO it.

    I encourage you to just do it. Motivation will tell you "I need to do this for myself, my family, my health" and determination will get your butt up off the couch, but perseverance is what will keep you plugging away at it, day after day. So do it! Persevere! You can do it, if you want it bad enough, but don't wait until you want it bad enough. Just do it today, and tomorrow, and the next day.....
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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  • brojas10
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    I agree with Yoovie. The motivation is not always there. Reading about and seeing others' success stories doesn't always help. You need to want it, and I mean REALLY want it. Only then will you work out even if you don't want to, and make healthy choices! Why? because doing so will get you the body you've always wanted. To me there's only one key to success: Determination. When you're determined you do whatever is necessary to achieve what you are seeking. When you're determined you don't make excuses, you just do it! And if you JUST DO IT long enough, you WILL get results!
  • cait0902
    cait0902 Posts: 127 Member
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    So glad you responded to my post, you seem to have all the answers. I am very excited to get the ****over it and completely change who I am and my entire lifestyle!! I had no idea it was so easy to change the way I have been living for nearly 25 years!! Thank you so much!!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Either you are getting the point ...

    Or you just threw sarcasm and bile in the face of a very busy girl who took time out if her day today to try to help you with something you said you needed help with, and you didn't even bother to read what was offered to you.

    You wonder why you are having such a hard time? Ill make it easy for you and respond in he manner with which you have been treating me...

    You're not succeeding cause you have a shtty attitude and don't want to succeed cause you have some baggage that prevents you from realizing that, not only do you deserve it, but it really is that easy.

    Im putting you on ignore so I don't accidentally try to help you next week when you have tue same problem.

    Good luck.
  • cait0902
    cait0902 Posts: 127 Member
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    Either you are getting the point ...

    Or you just threw sarcasm and bile in the face of a very busy girl who took time out if her day today to try to help you with something you said you needed help with, and you didn't even bother to read what was offered to you.

    You wonder why you are having such a hard time? Ill make it easy for you and respond in he manner with which you have been treating me...

    You're not succeeding cause you have a shtty attitude and don't want to succeed cause you have some baggage that prevents you from realizing that, not only do you deserve it, but it really is that easy.

    Im putting you on ignore so I don't accidentally try to help you next week when you have tue same problem.

    Good luck.

    I certainly appreciate the time you took out of your "busy" day in order to respond to me. I appreciate everyone who has responded. But you seem to be the only one who thinks it's your way or the highway. You may believe that your suggestions are the best and are exactly what I need to do, but not every one is the same. What works for you and what you believe may not be the same for everyone else. Again, I do appreciate your, and everyones, responses....I did ask for opinons. But I tend to not respond well when people start talking/acting like they are better than everyone and they know everything.

    If you feel the need to ignore me because you can't handle a simple conversation, then by all means.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    About a month or so into my weight loss, I was lying in bed and my husband said, "You look so good." (Granted, he always said that, even at my high weight. He's a keeper!) I told him, quite honestly, "If I was doing this just to look better, I'd have quit a month ago."

    Find a deeper reason. For me, it was because I didn't want to be weak, sick and frail. In about one year's time, I lost both my parents, to different illnesses and in different situations, but both of them had poor eating habits and weakened cardiovascular health. My father's was from years of smoking, even though he'd quit 20-some years before. My mother's was from an autoimmune disease. It tore me up to see them like that, because I always thought of them as strong, vibrant people.

    I didn't want that.

    I had enough of the excuses. The I can't do that's. My brother and niece participated in 5k races. But I can't do that. I'm not a runner. Bullpoop. Genetically, I'm barely any different from them. If they could do it, I could learn to do it too. And that's where it started.

    When I began learning to run (Couch to 5k rocks) I knew I had to eat healthier. That snowballed into doing other forms of exercise, then seeing the amazing results from women weight lifting on here. Now, I run for fun, and lift weights because it does amazing things to my body. I eat well because it allows me to do both. I went from the wimpy kid picked last in gym class decades ago, to the person who never believed she could run or be fit or athletic, to thinking, "Hey, why can't I run? Who says?" at age 38, to winning some frickin' medals running nine months later.

    It started with just a choice. Did I want to keep doing what I was doing, or did I want more? If I wanted more, I had to do more. Period.
  • reddi2roll
    reddi2roll Posts: 356 Member
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    Nobody LIKES exercise but just forget about the exercise for now and start with just one thing. Commit to logging your calories and trying to meet your target. If you can't do it as you go during the day plan your food and get it ready the day before for the next day. If you try to take it all on at once you will quickly loose focus. Once you are successful with logging here you may tackle the next hurdle of exercise. You do need to eventually do both to avoid being skinny fat but you don't have to do everything at once.

    Failing to plan is planning to fail. You can do it but YOU have to do it. None of us can do it for you. Go for it.



    I agree with most of what you said.....except the "Nobody LIKES exercise" part. That's a pretty unfair statement. I'm sorry that YOU don't like exercise, but there are a lot of us out there that do enjoy it. And maybe if you don't like it, you're doing it wrong. Find something that you do enjoy and that motivates you to get out there and improve your fitness.

    Sorry I p#$sed everyone off with my statement re: exercise. I do exercise every day unless something prevents it that is out of my control. I do strength training 3 times a week and I ride my bike outside for an hour almost every day. It is not that I don't enjoy it when I am doing it but it is hard to make myself get up and do it. That is all I meant. Not necessary to read any more into it than that.
  • joybedford
    joybedford Posts: 1,680 Member
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    It took me a long time to get motivated. I had twins in 2004 gained 2 stone while pregnant and even more after they were born. I was so busy looking after 3 kids I didn't look after me. I also had postnatal depression and ate to comfort myself. In 2009 one of the twins was diagnosed with autism and a year later ADHD, my oldest child is autistic too and I struggled to deal with this. Life was busy and stressful I also work 30 hours as a midwife. One day Piers ran off I couldn't catch him as I weighed 180lbs and was very unfit. I thought no more time to lose weight. I started running the day after and have continued ever since. In total I have lost 41lbs and won't regain it. I think it is about finding your trigger point. I suddenly thought this is my life, it is the hand I have been dealt and
    my kids need me, I have to get on with it for their sake. I can now cope so much better my daughter is also displaying signs of autism ADHD and although I am worried I feel better able to cope I can run a half marathon I can cope with anything. I am not being egotistical but that's how I feel when I eat well and work out I can cope better. My life is still stressful but more manageable. Hope this helps if you want to add me as a friend hopefully I can help you.