Never seen a community forum like MFP's!

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Replies

  • mandorla
    mandorla Posts: 81 Member
    because nobody is moderating and it is a free for all. like sitting at a bar and hearing anyone and everyone's thoughts out loud..

    sofakingaweso hit the nail on the head with his comment.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    I've actually been thinking of leaving MFP for this very reason. It wasn't like this even a year ago. Now, it's just so snarky, I don't bother adding posts to the forum. There are still plenty of nice people on the site, just don't try to find them on the forums. Best of luck in your goals!

    Agreed. It used to be a nice place when I was last on here... that was about a year and a half ago. I come back, and my favorite people were gone and replaced with a**holes.

    Sorry about replacing your favorite people...
    *sniffles*
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    I am wndering why the culture here is so different.

    People get on threads for no reason, it seems, other than to be rude to people, usually the person who started the thread.

    Someone posts about a problem, concern, something important to them, if not to you - that's what the boards are for. Instead of people responding because they have something constructive to add - after all, no one is FORCED to respond to anything in a community forum space - there are inevitably comments that are purely trashing the poster!

    Why do people bother?

    Maybe I belong to particularly polite online communities - and I don't think so, because when people disagree, they are vocal and it does get heated - but troll behaviour like saying a person is stupid for making a post in the first place, or implying it with disdainful, sarcastic remarks - I've never seen it done like it is here, in a decade of belonging to several, completely open public message boards.

    Why is this rudeness so common at MFP? People just cranky out of hunger? :)

    It seems that many people trying to change their bodies, their diet, their lifestyle, are particularly in need of support, encouragement, and safe space. Does that vulnerability bring just out the bullies?

    Give someone a keyboard, internet access and no webcam and they'll become a jerk face. Give them a webcam and they'll moon you while they're at it.

    Note to self: get a webcam...
  • BlueJean4114
    BlueJean4114 Posts: 594 Member
    i haven't read the replies,
    and no idea what current topic is as my post arrives into the thread, haha,
    but,
    it seems in SPECIFIC GROUPS, like subgroups of MFP, one gets kinder replies, less rudeness.
    TO THE OP
    JOIN A subGROUP.

    I am older, and found the groups for older ppl have actual replies, on topic, with actual advice, tips, encouragement, etc, and are not rude.:bigsmile:
    Surely, OP, maybe some other groups for your specific interests might be kinder than the general forums are??

    ...GOOD LUCK!!!
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
    Honestly, I've been where you are...and sometimes still can feel that way today, however, I got over it. No troll or elitist jerks is going to run me away from a tool that helps me achieve my goals.

    I love using the block feature, and the scroll really fast with my mouse wheel feature (aka, finger) and other maneuvers when I am not in the right zone to see their BS.

    Bottom line, I'm honestly incredibly surprised that you have been in chat rooms that long and never seen this type of behavior. I'm not discrediting you, just am shocked. For as long as I have been on the internet, I have run across trolls, in forums, games, wherever and everywhere.
  • littlehedgy
    littlehedgy Posts: 192 Member
    I think everyone from the etiquette board on The Knot came over here.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,970 Member
    My theory. Heated threads generate repeat views. MFP makes money from ads. Having users return to see the flame fest thus generates more money.

    Why close threads that have people coming back again and again when site hits makes yous $$.
    I'm telling ya, the trolls are the advertisers.:laugh: :laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • gdbadass
    gdbadass Posts: 60
    Honestly, I've been where you are...and sometimes still can feel that way today, however, I got over it. No troll or elitist jerks is going to run me away from a tool that helps me achieve my goals.

    yes, the tools have been really helpful at MFP! that's the bottom line.

    trolls are everywhere, of course. i guess my online interactions are generally with pretty mature, intelligent people - or at least people who have something better to do than attack others for kicks.

    but like i said, the question was pretty much answered - it's the 'lowest common denominator" factor.


    AND i made some new friends from this post, so it was worthwhile. :laugh:
  • cardozm
    cardozm Posts: 78 Member
    I love MFP....have been here 80 days and so far no negative feelings yet...but yeah you r right.sometimes being hungry makes me cranky....lol...Great day everyone
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
    The forums here were much better in 2009 and 2010. Now its filled with a bunch of junk.

    Yeah, I get the "dont open it then". I like the recent post feature,but now its filled with junk threads. Also, good threads turn into arguments now that go off topic.

    Oh well.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    I'm just going to sit back and watch this thread go to pieces, like the one posted two days ago on the same topic did. Let's see how long it will take for this thread to be locked and then deleted. Bet you a chocolate candy bar that it won't make two days!

    You're on.

    I mean no offense to OP, because this is a common feeling, but it's also a common feeling across almost every discussion board on any web site. I've been participating in and sometimes running discussion boards since the BBS days, and it's pretty much been the same thing since then.

    There are a few exceptions, but most of those are boards where people know each other in real life and knowing you'll be seeing the other person in person soon is a great self-moderating incentive. The rest are bland boards that are either moderated to the point where no one dares disagree with the moderators, or where everyone is there with a shared interest in which there is no room for debate.

    Start a board on toothpick holders, and within a week you'll have a heated argument over ceramic versus stainless with people shouting at each other in all caps and threatening each others' children with mortal harm. It happens. As the current XKCD says, human subcultures are nested fractally. No matter how obscure your interest is, there's going to be someone out there with a heartfelt opinion about that interest that the two of you will be able to engage in a vigorous debate over it. Add the anonymity of the Internet and the lack of emotional tones in text (and the natural human tendency to read the nastiest tone in anything from someone with a disagreeing opinion that lacks an emotional inflection) and you have shouting matches. Constantly.

    Add a topic for which there is so incredibly much conflicting science, a lot of amassed conflicting personal experience, and is as deeply personal as weight loss... and throw in that most of the participants are eating at some level of deficit and mostly pretty stressed about trying to fight millions of years of evolution by losing weight... Yeah, we get all cranky sometimes. And we take things too personally.

    Present company included. On this board and others, I've inadvertently offended plenty of people. And been unjustifiably offended by plenty of people who I later realized didn't mean anything at all by what they said - I just disagreed with the content and therefore read an unpleasant tone into a neutrally-intended statement.

    It happens. Text is a miserable communications medium, and human nature seems to be to find the differences, not the similarities, between us and others.

    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • Nukkers
    Nukkers Posts: 139 Member
    I read a LOT on the forums, but don't bother posting because of this very reason. I also have friends as support, as I support them in return. 3/4 of them don't even try. And I don't even have a butt load of friends.
  • jjl0412
    jjl0412 Posts: 278 Member
    I am wndering why the culture here is so different.

    People get on threads for no reason, it seems, other than to be rude to people, usually the person who started the thread.

    Someone posts about a problem, concern, something important to them, if not to you - that's what the boards are for. Instead of people responding because they have something constructive to add - after all, no one is FORCED to respond to anything in a community forum space - there are inevitably comments that are purely trashing the poster!

    Why do people bother?

    Maybe I belong to particularly polite online communities - and I don't think so, because when people disagree, they are vocal and it does get heated - but troll behaviour like saying a person is stupid for making a post in the first place, or implying it with disdainful, sarcastic remarks - I've never seen it done like it is here, in a decade of belonging to several, completely open public message boards.

    Why is this rudeness so common at MFP? People just cranky out of hunger? :)

    It seems that many people trying to change their bodies, their diet, their lifestyle, are particularly in need of support, encouragement, and safe space. Does that vulnerability bring just out the bullies?

    YOU are my Hero! I found out the hard way to NEVER post ANYTHING I really want earnest responses to on this site. NEVER! There are too many who post just to boost posting count with no relation or respect for the person or the subject. NONE! Reminds me of Vultures. At least they serve a purpose. But it’s ok, I consider the source and understand what is responding. And if you watch, you will see that the majority ARE THE SAME RESPONDERS. Doing the same thing! Watch. I guarantee you will see it too. Pity is, there are a lot of us who would really enjoy a mature, earnest, intelligent converse.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    I really think part of the problem is that we cant see a face or hear a tone of voice to give us a clue about whet a posters intentions are. Someone can be saying something nicely, in all seriousness, but it doesn't get interpreted that way and comes across as snarky. So maybe giving someone the benefit of the doubt more often is called for.
    There are also a few people, not many, who just enjoy poking the hornet nest. It happens.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Everyone gets soooo offended over the littlest things. And then others are just deliberately not helpful. Yahoo Answers is friendlier than this forum.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I really think part of the problem is that we cant see a face or hear a tone of voice to give us a clue about whet a posters intentions are. Someone can be saying something nicely, in all seriousness, but it doesn't get interpreted that way and comes across as snarky. So maybe giving someone the benefit of the doubt more often is called for.
    There are also a few people, not many, who just enjoy poking the hornet nest. It happens.

    Yeah, that's true about tone of voice. People will hear it as the voice in their head. We are all strangers.
  • ChasingStarlight
    ChasingStarlight Posts: 424 Member
    I am not from the US, but I don't find it that negative here. It is much worse on other moderated forums i go on. I actually find it a bit over the top, 'everyone is super awesome' here, but that must be a cultural thing.
  • jjl0412
    jjl0412 Posts: 278 Member
    Cranky? MFP is tame compared to several other forums (fora?) that I belong to.

    Try starting a thread about diving to 300 fsw on air with an 80 cf aluminum tank on a scuba forum and you'll see what "cranky" is........


    Hhehehheehhheeee
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
    People would never have the balls to say what is really on their mind in the real world, so they take it out on the forums, hiding behind screens.
  • BlurtLouder
    BlurtLouder Posts: 20 Member
    I've never seen a community forum as polite as this one.

    I keep opening threads - on this subforum in particular - that seem like sweet, juicy troll-bait, and then being surprised by the pages of earnest, uplifting replies found therein. The worst "trolls" I've seen so far were just sort of rude.

    It gets a little Pleasantville up in here, not that I'm complaining :laugh:
  • kmhenry84
    kmhenry84 Posts: 96 Member
    I didn't read through all of this, but I just had to say that I haven't seen that here..

    If you want to see some NASTINESS... look up a thread on circumcision... a friend tried to get me involved in that... just no.
    One time I was doing a google search for how to clean up spilled Scentsy, and it directed me to a forum where a mom had asked about that as it had spilled on her son.. talk about some low down ugliness there! Whew!

    So maybe my level of nastiness is just shaded different from other people's.
  • jjl0412
    jjl0412 Posts: 278 Member
    For those people who will say - "this place is just like the rest of the internet" - no, it isn't.

    YouTube comments or comments on a news story can't be compared to posts in a community forum.

    This site's culture is particularly rude.

    I suspect there are a lot of cowards and bullies out there who are miserable and want to bring down others.

    For anyone wh ois truly struggling, has a sincere question and seeks advice and community support, or has something positive to offer, I hope you continue and wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of health and wellness!

    Don't let the NFP trolls get you down.

    In the meantime, there should be moderators here. Safe space is important.

    :smile:
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!! /shun :noway:

    :laugh:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    People would never have the balls to say what is really on their mind in the real world, so they take it out on the forums, hiding behind screens.

    I wouldn't be so sure about that. How I am on MFP forums is a whole lot like how I am IRL.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    I very rarely see poeple being rude or mean on these forums, unless you are in the chit chat section. I feel that's the section to be rude and enjoy ourselves.

    The only time I ever see people being "rude" or "mean" is when they don't agree with the OP, which in most of MFP's eyes is being mean, if you don't agreee with somone, you're a meany!!

    To be honest most of the time the OP posts something really stupid so people reply with stupid stuff lol
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Bump.