Never seen a community forum like MFP's!
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Bacon makes me less stabby, offer more bacon related items.
^^^THIS!!!^^^0 -
I left WW and when I came to MFP and browsed the message boards, I thought that the boards here were SO much nicer than WW. The females in particular on WW boards were just out of this world snarky. I still don't think MFP trolls are nearly as bad, but honestly......there ARE nice ways to voice your opinion, even if it's a disagreement with the OP. What did our moms say? "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"?0
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I have no clue what message boards you've been on, but this is easily the most supportive, positive, sunshine and rainbows community I've ever come across.
It's expressly set up so as not to offend people and to cater to people who are new to online forums. There's so much stuff on here that would be bannable offenses on other forums I've been on: necroposting, posting the same topic over and over and over, posting something that is clearly already at the top of the forum, failing to use the search function, posting a topic in the guise of a legitimate question and then attacking everyone who tells you you're wrong. It's all completely allowed here and a lot of people don't even bat an eye at it.
I don't even understand why people think there is so much negativity and trolling on this site in the first place. If I had to estimate, I'd say that threads on average have about 60% helpful/supportive responses, 5% mean/inappropriate/trolling responses, and the remaining 35% chunk is people yelling at the mean people for being mean and then spending the remainder of the thread complaining about how mean everyone is. It's rare that I see a post that is actually over-the-top mean or nasty; most of the time, people are responding to someone's tone or when someone tells another poster that their goals are unrealistic. That's not mean or trolling, not even close. Just because you didn't want to hear it doesn't make it bad.
^EXACTLY!0 -
Not everyone is going to vomit rainbows and crap glitter... It just doesn't happen.
My new favorite quote.0 -
I am wndering why the culture here is so different.
People get on threads for no reason, it seems, other than to be rude to people, usually the person who started the thread.
Someone posts about a problem, concern, something important to them, if not to you - that's what the boards are for. Instead of people responding because they have something constructive to add - after all, no one is FORCED to respond to anything in a community forum space - there are inevitably comments that are purely trashing the poster!
Why do people bother?
Maybe I belong to particularly polite online communities - and I don't think so, because when people disagree, they are vocal and it does get heated - but troll behaviour like saying a person is stupid for making a post in the first place, or implying it with disdainful, sarcastic remarks - I've never seen it done like it is here, in a decade of belonging to several, completely open public message boards.
Why is this rudeness so common at MFP? People just cranky out of hunger?
It seems that many people trying to change their bodies, their diet, their lifestyle, are particularly in need of support, encouragement, and safe space. Does that vulnerability bring just out the bullies?
I think it is because they have self-esteem issues, and it makes them feel better about themselves to put people down.0 -
There are other online communities that are downright vile, but those communities focus on politics, religion, entertainment etc. Not something as personal as weight loss. I have been to forums on weightwatchers, fitday, and sparkpeople and I do not see the level of snarkiness, sarcasm and downright meanness that is displayed by SOME of the members of MFP. This is suppose to be a support group, not a I know more than you and I'm going to say it in the nastiest way possible group. I have reported offensive comments to moderators and got no response and the topics continued on.
I have found supportive friends and not everyone on MFP displays this kind of behavior. I think most of us have thick enough skin where we can handle criticism and differing opinions, but some members choose to dictate what is best for others and can be very condescending if you say thanks but no thanks to their advice. While we are all members of this group, we are still individuals and what works for you may not work for me. I just wish more members respected. that.0 -
I'm just going to sit back and watch this thread go to pieces, like the one posted two days ago on the same topic did. Let's see how long it will take for this thread to be locked and then deleted. Bet you a chocolate candy bar that it won't make two days!
You're on.
I mean no offense to OP, because this is a common feeling, but it's also a common feeling across almost every discussion board on any web site. I've been participating in and sometimes running discussion boards since the BBS days, and it's pretty much been the same thing since then.
There are a few exceptions, but most of those are boards where people know each other in real life and knowing you'll be seeing the other person in person soon is a great self-moderating incentive. The rest are bland boards that are either moderated to the point where no one dares disagree with the moderators, or where everyone is there with a shared interest in which there is no room for debate.
Start a board on toothpick holders, and within a week you'll have a heated argument over ceramic versus stainless with people shouting at each other in all caps and threatening each others' children with mortal harm. It happens. As the current XKCD says, human subcultures are nested fractally. No matter how obscure your interest is, there's going to be someone out there with a heartfelt opinion about that interest that the two of you will be able to engage in a vigorous debate over it. Add the anonymity of the Internet and the lack of emotional tones in text (and the natural human tendency to read the nastiest tone in anything from someone with a disagreeing opinion that lacks an emotional inflection) and you have shouting matches. Constantly.
Add a topic for which there is so incredibly much conflicting science, a lot of amassed conflicting personal experience, and is as deeply personal as weight loss... and throw in that most of the participants are eating at some level of deficit and mostly pretty stressed about trying to fight millions of years of evolution by losing weight... Yeah, we get all cranky sometimes. And we take things too personally.
Present company included. On this board and others, I've inadvertently offended plenty of people. And been unjustifiably offended by plenty of people who I later realized didn't mean anything at all by what they said - I just disagreed with the content and therefore read an unpleasant tone into a neutrally-intended statement.
It happens. Text is a miserable communications medium, and human nature seems to be to find the differences, not the similarities, between us and others.
Milk chocolate? Dark chocolate? Or white chocolate?
Can't believe it's still going.0 -
I am wndering why the culture here is so different.
People get on threads for no reason, it seems, other than to be rude to people, usually the person who started the thread.
Someone posts about a problem, concern, something important to them, if not to you - that's what the boards are for. Instead of people responding because they have something constructive to add - after all, no one is FORCED to respond to anything in a community forum space - there are inevitably comments that are purely trashing the poster!
Why do people bother?
Maybe I belong to particularly polite online communities - and I don't think so, because when people disagree, they are vocal and it does get heated - but troll behaviour like saying a person is stupid for making a post in the first place, or implying it with disdainful, sarcastic remarks - I've never seen it done like it is here, in a decade of belonging to several, completely open public message boards.
Why is this rudeness so common at MFP? People just cranky out of hunger?
It seems that many people trying to change their bodies, their diet, their lifestyle, are particularly in need of support, encouragement, and safe space. Does that vulnerability bring just out the bullies?
I think it is because they have self-esteem issues, and it makes them feel better about themselves to put people down.
Conversely, some people do not appear to have the self-esteem to not allow some printed words affect them.0 -
I'm just going to sit back and watch this thread go to pieces, like the one posted two days ago on the same topic did. Let's see how long it will take for this thread to be locked and then deleted. Bet you a chocolate candy bar that it won't make two days!
^^ I was thinking the exact same thing!
My thoughts exactly.0 -
Milk chocolate? Dark chocolate? Or white chocolate?
Can't believe it's still going.
Dark chocolate. Nothing else is worthy of the name. You looking for a fight? :mad:
:laugh: :flowerforyou:
Edit to add: More seriously, you should choose the chocolate, because I'm sure it'll be locked and I'll lose.
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LOVE THIS!:laugh:0 -
Hello friend,
I am a Nigerian millionaire and I just need you to go to the bank and . . .
Oh, wrong thread.
Did someone say dark chocolate? I like it melted all over me. Oh, wrong thread still.
Carry on.0 -
I'm getting a sense of deja vu... didn't we just do this the other day? Also, in on the chocolate bet...0
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I'm just going to sit back and watch this thread go to pieces, like the one posted two days ago on the same topic did. Let's see how long it will take for this thread to be locked and then deleted. Bet you a chocolate candy bar that it won't make two days!
^^ I was thinking the exact same thing!
My thoughts exactly.
Me too. I can't be in a room with 3 people I like and not have arguements start every 3 minutes over the stupidest *kitten* ever. WTF do you think is going to happen when you have a large website with open forums and the protection of aniniminiminiity.
Not to mention we are all hungry as f--k.0 -
I've actually been thinking of leaving MFP for this very reason. It wasn't like this even a year ago. Now, it's just so snarky, I don't bother adding posts to the forum. There are still plenty of nice people on the site, just don't try to find them on the forums. Best of luck in your goals!
Agreed. It used to be a nice place when I was last on here... that was about a year and a half ago. I come back, and my favorite people were gone and replaced with a**holes.0 -
lmaoooo!white people problems :laugh:0 -
I'm new and I'm not an A hole. You can add me as a friend :flowerforyou:I've actually been thinking of leaving MFP for this very reason. It wasn't like this even a year ago. Now, it's just so snarky, I don't bother adding posts to the forum. There are still plenty of nice people on the site, just don't try to find them on the forums. Best of luck in your goals!
Agreed. It used to be a nice place when I was last on here... that was about a year and a half ago. I come back, and my favorite people were gone and replaced with a**holes.0 -
I've actually been thinking of leaving MFP for this very reason. It wasn't like this even a year ago. Now, it's just so snarky, I don't bother adding posts to the forum. There are still plenty of nice people on the site, just don't try to find them on the forums. Best of luck in your goals!
Agreed. It used to be a nice place when I was last on here... that was about a year and a half ago. I come back, and my favorite people were gone and replaced with a**holes.
That is Mr. *kitten*, if you please......0 -
You've been on some super polite forums. This one is really quite good in my experience. Try bodybuilding.com's forums on for size if you think this one is bad.0
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I've actually been thinking of leaving MFP for this very reason. It wasn't like this even a year ago. Now, it's just so snarky, I don't bother adding posts to the forum. There are still plenty of nice people on the site, just don't try to find them on the forums. Best of luck in your goals!
Agreed. It used to be a nice place when I was last on here... that was about a year and a half ago. I come back, and my favorite people were gone and replaced with a**holes.
That is Mr. *kitten*, if you please......
:smokin:0
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