Plus Size Self Esteem

Options
1235

Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.

    Being plus sized doesn't always correlate with health, though. I know size 10's and 12's that look smaller than me (usually a 6-8 when not pregnant, 5'7")

    10 and 12 are not plus-sized.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Options
    I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.

    Being plus sized doesn't always correlate with health, though. I know size 10's and 12's that look smaller than me (usually a 6-8 when not pregnant, 5'7")

    10 and 12 are not plus-sized.

    I should have clarified, agreed...they are not. I mainly meant sizes don't always paint the correct picture. I know a size 16 girl who is tall, curvy, and very gorgeous and you would never, ever lump her into the plus size category on looks alone.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.

    Being plus sized doesn't always correlate with health, though. I know size 10's and 12's that look smaller than me (usually a 6-8 when not pregnant, 5'7")

    10 and 12 are not plus-sized.

    I should have clarified, agreed...they are not. I mainly meant sizes don't always paint the correct picture. I know a size 16 girl who is tall, curvy, and very gorgeous and you would never, ever lump her into the plus size category on looks alone.

    Where you carry weight makes a difference. I think apple shapes probably show excess weight the most because it's all in the tummy and back. Then pears show a lot in the hips and rear, but can look a little smaller than they are.

    I'm hourglass, so when I was a size 12, I don't think most people would have guessed that was my size. I gain weight very evenly and am always proportional, so it's deceptive. But I'm still that heavy. I'm 5'3" and my heaviest was 166. I was 155 the day I gave birth to my daughter, to put that in perspective. So at 166, if all that weight was in my tummy, you'd really notice it. But since it was evenly distributed, I looked much different and probably wore a smaller size than someone who carries it in the tummy would because that person would have to wear a size that fit around the largest part of her body.

    I'm hovering between 152 and 155 now and people keep describing me as "so tiny." I am NOT so tiny! lol I just carry well and can dress to hide a lot of my flaws. I can see how many people, especially if they've always been larger, might mistake a proportional figure for not being as large as they really are.

    The BMI range is quite large and I think it does accommodate frame size and muscle mass for the most part. I mean, I can be between 103 and 141 and be a healthy BMI. But I have a small frame, so I'm aiming for the lower end. At 132 pounds, while I looked great in clothes, I definitely had at least 15 pounds to lose to be where I wanted (maybe more). I think there are a few exceptions who will have a healthy body fat at above the BMI, but those would be people who seriously work for that kind of muscle mass and not the general population.

    I've witnessed so many people insist that if they got to the high end of their BMI range, they would "look skeletal." But when they got there, they did not look skeletal and even continued losing and looked really good. Their doctors agreed with them before they actually reached that weight.

    There is no way a person can know what she'll look like at a weight she's never been. People who have always been heavy hear a number and think, "That's too skinny," and decide they don't want to be that weight. Most change their minds once they reach it, though.
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    Options
    I don't seem to recall reading anyone saying they're 'happy' being fat, or they wouldn't really be here.
    They're happy with themselves or confident in themselves as a person.

    I would believe that most people on this site are trying to lose weight so they're obviously trying to do something to change it.

    I'm confident and happy, and yeah I'm fat.
    Being confident and happy is what is pushing me to better myself and be ever better!
    So please feel free not to feel sorry for me being plus sized sweetheart.
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    Options
    i think some people assume that. when i told a coworker about my must-have list for a potential date she responded with "wow you actually have standards!" LOL AS IF I WASNT GOING TO?
  • MsTanya77
    MsTanya77 Posts: 357 Member
    Options
    When I was plus-sized I stole quite a few men from the skinny girls! LOL But seriously, I have always had a great self-esteem at every size. I wasn't miserable, I wasn't ostracized or mistreated. I had a great social life, still wore beautiful clothes and kept myself look great, as well as feeling great. I never let my size be a factor for anything. I had health issues w/ my weight and I wanted to have a wider variety of fashion options which drove me to lose weight, but I was never a miserable heavy person.
  • wjewell
    wjewell Posts: 282 Member
    Options
    I am not going to lie... I don't think poorly of myself. Most days I feel very pretty, in fact lol. Just because you're big doesn't mean you're ugly (and think you are ugly) and just because you're small doesn't mean you're pretty (and think you're pretty).
  • luckyxjen
    luckyxjen Posts: 24
    Options
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking highly of yourself...


    I agree with this, I also agree that being healthy trumps being big or skinny!

    I agree with both of these, however I DON'T think highly of myself, AT ALL

    Annnddd, healthy looks different on everyone. (:
  • CurlyGurlie88
    CurlyGurlie88 Posts: 89
    Options
    I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.

    You know it's comments like this that make me just plain mad! You know not everyone was made to be a stick figure, everyone has different shapes and sizes. Who are you to say what a person should or should not look like or say that if a person is heavy set they don't love themselves. I know INCLUDING ME a lot of chunkier people who eat healthy and exercise. Plus come on now, you've never had a piece of cake once in awhile.... yea that's what I thought! I happen to love who I am and what kind of person I am... am I happy with my weight? No but guess what I'm working on it! Besides if you weren't working on it too why are you even on this site! I found your comment COMPLETELY offensive!
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
    Options
    *laughs*

    Because us fatties are SUPPOSED to have low self esteem. If we don't, how the hell are they going to sell the next diet pill, makeup product, spanx product, etc etc etc.

    Poor self-image is what drives a million industries in the world today. It's sad, but true.

    I'm a big gal, bigger than I've ever been... and y'know... even though I'm working on losing weight, I'm okay with that. I love me. I'm beautiful. I'm intelligent. I don't NEED someone else's validation. I've got my own. *shrugs* I am a death-knell to capitalism. I am the antidote to the toxicity that hollywood, magazines, the diet industry, etc, spews.

    *shrugs* I'm good.
  • CurlyGurlie88
    CurlyGurlie88 Posts: 89
    Options
    right on girl!
  • Lyssa62
    Lyssa62 Posts: 930 Member
    Options
    didn't mean to offend anybody skinny. all I said is a size 00 is not a size. That's crazy and I'm not saying it against the thin people I am saying it against whoever is changing the size of clothes. Growing up there wasn't such a thing as a 00 size of clothes...and believe me we had our share of twigs at school...but at least they wore a "real size".
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    Options
    Just throwing this out there, why do people assume just because a person is heavyset, they are depressed with low self esteem? Believe it or not, there are gorgeous plus size people who give these skinny minnies a run for their money...Just don't get it...lol

    Around here, the old school "drowning yourself in food" is a common thought for the depression. Because we cant cope, we turn to food, blah blah blah.....

    Its alot of hocum

    i think that used to be the case when food was actually food, but now food's not really food, so it's way easier to gain weight without even realizing it. the worst part is it seems "normal" because it's blasted at you in every direction (television, billboards, internet... it's enough to make a person go MAD, i tell you: MAAAAAD) hehee

    but in seriousness, it used to be more of a stigma to be overweight because it actually takes a fair amount of effort to get heavy on real food which leans on gluttony, which is a big no no "por lo general".
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    Options
    didn't mean to offend anybody skinny. all I said is a size 00 is not a size. That's crazy and I'm not saying it against the thin people I am saying it against whoever is changing the size of clothes. Growing up there wasn't such a thing as a 00 size of clothes...and believe me we had our share of twigs at school...but at least they wore a "real size".

    what you're talking about is vanity sizing.

    i am a vanity size 14, but in vintage clothing I am a 20. it's a pretty significant difference. it's all about what people want you to buy, so they market the clothing to appeal to the ego
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
    Options
    Only thing I am unhappy about is all the skin on my belly.. *kitten* looks like an old ladies *kitten*!!!!
    Heyyy! I resemble that remark! Well, shucks, there goes my self esteem! I hope you're feeling really remorseful for that!
  • Lynxie83
    Lynxie83 Posts: 246
    Options
    didn't mean to offend anybody skinny. all I said is a size 00 is not a size. That's crazy and I'm not saying it against the thin people I am saying it against whoever is changing the size of clothes. Growing up there wasn't such a thing as a 00 size of clothes...and believe me we had our share of twigs at school...but at least they wore a "real size".

    Except in baby clothing! :bigsmile:

    Edit to actually add something on the confidence subject:

    I've almost always had high self esteem and confidence (except for a small blip in yrs 11-12 @ college) but it's always been something that I know others struggle with.

    Others in the topic may have already said this, it doesn't matter if you're plus sized, skinny, healthy, young or old, confidence and a high self-esteem is obtainable. I've always found surrounding yourself with positive and bubbly people helps, exercising has a very good side effect (endorphins!! yay) and having a good belly laugh helps too.

    High self-esteem is not a magic bean, some sort of mythical creature you can only capture if you sacrifice 20 virgins. It's not always easy to obtain, but it's totally worth it :bigsmile:
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    Options
    didn't mean to offend anybody skinny. all I said is a size 00 is not a size. That's crazy and I'm not saying it against the thin people I am saying it against whoever is changing the size of clothes. Growing up there wasn't such a thing as a 00 size of clothes...and believe me we had our share of twigs at school...but at least they wore a "real size".

    what you're talking about is vanity sizing.

    i am a vanity size 14, but in vintage clothing I am a 20. it's a pretty significant difference. it's all about what people want you to buy, so they market the clothing to appeal to the ego
    That darn vintage clothing problem! (Can't wait to get back into my vintage dresses!)
  • apocalypsepwnie
    apocalypsepwnie Posts: 373
    Options
    Wow I didn't realise that when I got to my goal weight I'd suddenly wake up and see that I didn't actually love myself, I was just trying to hide my anger for everyone that was thin.

    FFS!

    Body bashing is never acceptable. From anyone to anyone. I don't think skinny minny is a derogatory term. Pull your head in.

    This is what I meant about people taking out their feelings about the way I look and trying desperately to lunk them to me to justify that feeling.
    If someone told me I was disgusting, even if they were my size at one time, they would get a swift smack in the mouth. I'd only accept positive and supporting comments. Telling me I'm gross, dirty, foul, pathetic or lazy isn't going to help me at all.
    You're messed up in the head if you think that.

    I don't think it's right that someone can tell me I can't love myself because I'm bigger. I'm not sick. My weight does not make me sick. I am healthy and my doctors are always shocked at how healthy and normal I am. I'm not a crazy athlete but I'm not going to die from my weight. However, I don't want to develop anything from my weight as I have a family history of it with a loved one currently in hospital. So I'm changing that.
    Just because you hate me, doesn't mean I do. GROW UP!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    didn't mean to offend anybody skinny. all I said is a size 00 is not a size. That's crazy and I'm not saying it against the thin people I am saying it against whoever is changing the size of clothes. Growing up there wasn't such a thing as a 00 size of clothes...and believe me we had our share of twigs at school...but at least they wore a "real size".

    Well, actually, it is a size now. Just because it wasn't a size when you were growing up doesn't mean it's imaginary now. So they changed the way they size clothes. It's done and now 00 is a size. And there are real, live people who wear that size.
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    Options
    didn't mean to offend anybody skinny. all I said is a size 00 is not a size. That's crazy and I'm not saying it against the thin people I am saying it against whoever is changing the size of clothes. Growing up there wasn't such a thing as a 00 size of clothes...and believe me we had our share of twigs at school...but at least they wore a "real size".

    Well, actually, it is a size now. Just because it wasn't a size when you were growing up doesn't mean it's imaginary now. So they changed the way they size clothes. It's done and now 00 is a size. And there are real, live people who wear that size.

    I think the issue here is the constant sizes changing, and not whether people wear them or not. There is no continuity. This whole vanity sizing has changed how sizes are perceived.
    And in a way I think it has made it more acceptable to be bigger. I'm not saying whether that is a bad thing or a good thing. But the very phrase itself "vanity sizing" places emphasis on a size being acceptable and a person feeling good about themselves based on the size they wear. It is dis-empowering, in the same way that telling a skinny person they are too skinny, or a fat person they are too fat is.
    Health At Every Size. Surely this is what we should be striving for. Being physically, and emotionally healthy wherever we stand on the planet!
    To feel liberated, whoever and wherever you are. To know you are more than a number, more than your appearance.

Categories