Weirdos at the gym. Ladies?

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  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    A great deal depends on the intent behind the staring, which is something we can't really tell just by what the OP said. Some people DO stare, zone out, etc at the gym and it's no biggie. However, telling someone to 'get over themselves' because they're seeing something as unwanted sexual attention is just beyond stupid. Women don't think men are creeping on them because they're oh so totally hot and who could resist. That has absolutely zero to do with it. It's about unwanted attention and how to discourage it.

    If it's blatant, I would talk to management about it so that they can at least keep an eye on the guy. And as others said, it's absolutely 100% okay to be paranoid. Never, EVER feel bad for asking someone to walk you to your car, or for putting distance between yourself and someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Much of the time, your instincts are warning you for a reason.

    I definitely agree with just asking for someone to walk with you if you ever feel seriously threatened. My boyfriend is the security guard at my gym (ymca) and he gets requests from women very often to walk them to their cars.
    He doesn't mind and understands, so don't be afraid to just ask someone!
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    Why are people so self conscious? He's probably zoned out staring straight ahead. When I get on the treadmill and start running I have my headphones in and I'm not thinking about anyone else but me and i stare straight ahead. There happens to be another row of cardio machines and then a row of mirrors meaning if someone is on the elliptical in front of me and I'm zoned out staring straight ahead I'm staring at their *kitten*. Oh *kitten* i just turned into a creeper. Unless someone is coming up to you or following you out of the gym get the hell over it.

    Ha, been there done that. I space all the time and find myself staring during rests between sets while into what i'm listening to. Got the death stare once while resting on a bench kind of behind someone and looking at the TV.....we have a whole 4 TV's. I was going to be behind someone.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    Some of the people here seem like the sort who have strong personalities. We don't all have the same personality. Some of us feel intimidated quite easily.

    You can change this. I used to be a timid little mouse, too. It has to do with valuing yourself and your rights as a human. Build your own personal self worth, and sticking up for yourself is the natural result.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    This is about the 10th creepy guy thread. Why don't you just call the cops so they can bring them to bubba and he can stare at him all day long in the cell.

    Cess - I like it when you lick your lips and stare at me :laugh:
  • Skych123
    Skych123 Posts: 96
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    who cares, if you're something worth staring at then take it as a compliment. just focus on your own work out and tune out the weirdos
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Some of the people here seem like the sort who have strong personalities. We don't all have the same personality. Some of us feel intimidated quite easily.

    You can change this. I used to be a timid little mouse, too. It has to do with valuing yourself and your rights as a human. Build your own personal self worth, and sticking up for yourself is the natural result.

    Sure, but we're not all there yet. And even if we all had the same self confidence we would still have stronger and weaker personalities. It's just a fact of life.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    The other day at the gym there was a creepy guy staring at all the girls and making way too much icky eye contact. I thought about mentioning it to one of the guys at the desk, but I didn't want to make a big deal if he was just a social weirdo. I got a really icky vibe being around him. What do you do when someone at the gym gives you heebie jeebies?

    Did he sniff your bike seat after you got up? If not I think you are overreacting.

    LMFAO... THIS Totally. Call me a creepy girl because a guy with a nice A** on the elliptical in front of me is going to get a few glances from me. I'm not going to walk over and lick him... but damn I'm thinking about it.

    I guess you and I are the only girls that look at men at the gym *shrug* i must be a pig.

    Oink Oink... we'll be pigs together :drinker:
  • danne32339
    danne32339 Posts: 155 Member
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    Wow...this went from a guy checkin out women to him being a potential rapist! But, I wonder, if a MAN posted this thread about a women checkin out the guys at the gym (any aged women, I'm not pickin on the "cougers") what would the responses be? Just puttin that out there..........

    If you feel unsafe, work out at home.

    I would feel the same way if it were a woman staring at someone.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
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    The other day at the gym there was a creepy guy staring at all the girls and making way too much icky eye contact. I thought about mentioning it to one of the guys at the desk, but I didn't want to make a big deal if he was just a social weirdo. I got a really icky vibe being around him. What do you do when someone at the gym gives you heebie jeebies?

    I flash them.....they stop looking right away.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    If you are feeling threatened by something or someone - let the management know. This includes while working out, being at a restaurant, while shopping,etc. Why shouldn't you let management know? It's their job to assess the validity of your complaint and also to provide you with a safe environment. Yours could be one of many complaints made, or they could think you are being overly cautious. Either way, speak up! It's not like you only get the right to complain 3 times in your life, and darn you just used one. You have the right to speak up without feeling guilty about it. And the posters who are dismissive -- hey, they weren't there, they aren't you, and ultimately, they don't care if you complain or not.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    This is about the 10th creepy guy thread. Why don't you just call the cops so they can bring them to bubba and he can stare at him all day long in the cell.

    Sadly, females have to be hyper sensitive to subtly threatening behavior from the male of the species. Probably the closest thing a man can experience to this situation is a stint in prison. Women have to live that way 24/7/365.

    That is why there are so many "creepy guy" threads. We have to watch our backs starting at birth.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    Someone staring at women... I don't care. Someone staring at ME... I might care. And that's not just me being a self-centered b-word. Maybe he knows those other women. When I went to the gym with my husband, we went our separate ways and did our own thing, but I know damn well he was checking me out. I'm sure that would look creepy if someone didn't know we were together.

    Also, I don't notice someone staring - at me or anyone else - unless I'm doing some staring of my own.

    I mean... if the guy was standing there, staring, licking his lips and rubbing his crotch, that's one thing, but otherwise, I'd ignore it.

    :drinker:
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    What do you do when someone at the gym gives you heebie jeebies?

    I take my after workout protein shake, drink part of it and then let it ooze out of my mouth like I'm rabid. Then I look them in the eye and say "Come at me bro!"

    lmao :laugh:
  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
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    This is about the 10th creepy guy thread. Why don't you just call the cops so they can bring them to bubba and he can stare at him all day long in the cell.

    Cess - I like it when you lick your lips and stare at me :laugh:

    LOLOLOL
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
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    Point is get over it, if he isn't stroking himself in public or following you home, you got nothing.


    Please read up on Title IX for more information.

    Why would Title 9 have any impact on the situation described in the OP? Title 9 is about equal opportunity in education not about not being stared at by a (potentially) creepy person of the opposite sex in a gym.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    Point is get over it, if he isn't stroking himself in public or following you home, you got nothing.


    Please read up on Title IX for more information.

    Why would Title 9 have any impact on the situation described in the OP? Title 9 is about equal opportunity in education not about not being stared at by a (potentially) creepy person of the opposite sex in a gym.

    Kind of threw me too.

    Title IX
    No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.
  • fortyonetogo
    fortyonetogo Posts: 18
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    I'm definitely able to get into my own zone while working out. Sometimes if I "wake up" I'll even be looking right at someone (may even be a woman) without really seeing the person. I'm thinking about anything but that person.

    Maybe he's staring into a mirror someone right beside another person and it only looks as if he's staring at someone. I know that during certain hours at the place I work out it can be extremely crowded and hard to look anywhere at all without seeing someone or their reflection. I'd practically have to stare at the ceiling to avoid doing it.

    I agree with just asking for an escort out as a first step.
  • MamaKeeks
    MamaKeeks Posts: 234
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    Seriously?! Answer the question people... stop attacking each other, insulting the OP, and making this into something more than it is.

    My dear OP - Next time, look back at the guys and say "What?!". See what his reaction is. If he's just a genuine zoner and means no harm, he'll look baffled and confused and look away, and never look at you again bc he's too embarrassed.

    Yes, there is a diff between flirting and perving. I don't OP is confusing the two here.

    If you FEEL he is a genuine perv (and yes, there are lots of creeps, male and female, that hang out in gyms for various reasons, some of them do it just because they get off on making people uncomfortable, and SOME OF THEM ARE SCARY!), then mention him and your FEELINGS to the management/staff. Better to be safe than sorry in this instance. And you are entitled to your feelings.

    I hope this helps. Play nicely people. Peace!
  • jgondor
    jgondor Posts: 145 Member
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    i've been experiencing this lately. i've been trying to bring my fiance with me but of course the days he's able to come with me the weirdo is no where to be found! lol
  • tragicpixie
    tragicpixie Posts: 71
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    The other day at the gym there was a creepy guy staring at all the girls and making way too much icky eye contact. I thought about mentioning it to one of the guys at the desk, but I didn't want to make a big deal if he was just a social weirdo. I got a really icky vibe being around him. What do you do when someone at the gym gives you heebie jeebies?

    There are three ways I can answer this and they're all pretty similar:

    First, this is part of why I don't go to the gym alone. As a feminist, I had a problem with the fact that as a woman, I don't' feel comfortable going to a co-ed gym alone but that's the society I live in. Also, the problem with confronting someone in this situation is that if they ARE a predatory person - you may actually make yourself a target. On the other hand, maybe they'll pick an easier target who won't confront them. If you do choose to say something, I think it's important not to be rude, just in case they were zoning out.
    At the same time there's totally a difference between someone checking you out (which you may or may not want) and someone being peervy. I think if someone is creeping you out, you have said "I can tell the difference and this isn't a guy who's trying to flirt with me": In that instance yes, tell the guy at the desk someone is making you uncomfortable. If you don't feel comfortable going up to him, it's that person's job to see if they are zoning out, a creep, or whatever.

    Also to the class act who tried to push this back on the victim guess who rapes men: other men. So while I'm thrilled you exercise your male privilege while at the gym to not have to consider the women around you a threat, it's male privilege. Women are raped everyday - sometimes, even at the gym or in gym parking lots.

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