Deleting Friends

rfarinha

When I receive a friend request, I send a personal message thanking them for the request, and how I look forward to encouraging each other, so I think that if a person isn't committed to helping themselves, then why should I be committed to supporting them?

If someone doesn't log in for 3-4 weeks, then I delete. I was also suprised that when I deleted someone, that their account had been "deactivated"! WTH? I think that if someone deactivates their account, that they should automatically be removed from friend lists.

If someone were to ask me why I deleted them, I would tell them why, and that if they were ready to start logging consistently, then I would be happy to "re-friend" them.

lizziebeth1028

I just deleted all my (very nice) friends because having people see my diary made me self conscious about what I was posting (but not what I was eating). And I need to be scrupulously honest or what's the point of keeping a diary. I sent them a note and they were so gracious.

There is a privacy setting on your diary so even your friends don't have to see it if you don't want them to. Just an FYI.

saracatherine89

I usually delete people who have not logged in in a while and who I have no connection with as well. I do keep some people who havent come in a while with hope that they will come back. It is a lot based on my personal connection with people. If we have nothing in common, then I don't really see there being much benefit from having the extra notifications clogging up my feed!

Abells

Yep - I give them a month

2nd this

caraiselite

7 days and you're gone.

Contrarian

I delete people for not interacting with me or for being overly dramatic.

jordanreddick

I do, especially if I don't ever hear from them.

Alex_is_Hawks

I delete people who aren't logging in, who are negative nellies and do nothing but whine moan ***** and never see the positive in life...i get going through a bad patch...i've had my fair share of bad patches lately...but I think all of my friends would agree that I still see the positive and laugh and joke and cheer them on.

and I don't do jealousy...you gonna turn around and make me feel bad for my success? Deleted you are...no way no how am I keeping you...

and lastly, I delete those that insist they need lots of feedback and then NEVER EVER provide any back....that being said I have a few on my FL who I know have a CRAZY list of friends (like a huge list) and my feed updates get lost in the mass, so if I reach out to them by message and they positively respond back...then I count that also. it's still a back and forth relationship...it just needed some tweaking to make it work for me.

that's all.

IamBlackMamba

I could never! I mean we're all here for support and that's what I want to give each and every person on my FL.

infamousmk

I am a difficult MFP friend. If your diary always consists of McDonalds, if you don't share your diary and if you don't log in regularly ... I delete. I am self motivated and try to befriend others who are just as motivated and who have a positive attitude. Of course we all have our good and bad days/weeks ... but if there's a negative trend over a few days, I delete.

If you are self-motivated, why do any of these things affect your ability to be a friend?

katmix

Does anyone delete friends who haven't logged in for a while?

Yes...including family members! I give all my MFP friends lots of time, but when I start seeing that they aren't logging in and responding to my private messages, or I see them in person and they start telling me all the things they don't log (just an aside, but pretending what you put in your mouth didn't happen doesn't make it so) and then wonder why they aren't producing results. Other friends just don't take this seriously as a lifestyle (just aren't to that point, yet) and that is okay - but I AM serious and I want/need those kinds of people holding me accountable, too...

Yes...part of me feels guilty because I not only hit goal weight, but have lost additionally, and friends who aren't at a point where they are choosing health over crap, I have found...don't want to hear it. Just my experience...

cybercpa

Yes, after about a month of no activity. I want friends that are there to cheer me on, encourage me when my scale is stubborn and seemingly won't budge and also tell me to keep on going, if I have a french fry and burger meal once in a blue moon and feel really guilty about it. I am 'there" for them too! :happy:

michelejoann

I don't delete anyone.

I'm here for me, myself and I. I have IRL friends on here too. If some friends need encouragement, I will give it. I will also randomly "yay!" on your profile.

Otherwise, I could care less. I see that some people on here get MIGHTY petty about the whole FL thing.

Whatever.

Ralphrabbit

I give them a week if they are on hols & have said they will be away or I have one lady who said she would find it difficult due to location to get a signal for a month. If they disappear for a month & do not interact with me then I delete. I also delete if they have a really bad diet & it's not getting any better!!

Goal_Driven

Guilty I want motivated friends who are accountable, motivational, inspirational.. all that good stuff! I don't like seeing someone not log in for a month, it kind of gets ME down in a way, seeing someone give up like that.

zaithyr

The only time I have deleted someone is when they were practicing some extremely dangerous dieting habits (like ED bad) and actually bragging about it. I posted some general information in status updates about eating disorders and getting help hoping they would get the hint, but when they didn't, I had to delete. It was too hard to watch

sethharmon

I don' t have many friends on here to start with, but I also tire of seeing people who haven't logged in for a while. I started yesterday by cutting two friends who haven't logged in for 3 weeks.

BondBomb

I feel like I "deserve" to be deleted. Not much of an online talker. Too quiet.

This is me. I don't know how to 'interact' on a daily basis with 145 people. At the same time everyone added me for one reason or another so I dont want to cut them just to keep others 'entertained'. It used to bother me to get deleted for not interacting. Im so busy now I dont have time to care.

ar_smith

Wow, this is harsh.

I think this is why the "lurkers" (me included) don't have many friends. Too many expectations. I rarely post to the forums and I only offer encouragement when I have something to offer besides "Well done" or "Good job." I like reading about other people's progress and I am very shy about discussing my own.

The three friends I do have on here are awesome though.

jenluvsushi

I used to do it all the time....now I just hide their comments so it's like they aren't there. If they aren't logging in, it's not like they are clogging up my feed anyways. Nothing drives me crazy like people who b!tch and complain about not losing but continue to eat like crap, starve themselves or consider playing an instrument exercise. Don't ask for advice and then totally disregard said advice and continue to complain....it's like they will only hear what they want to.

KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON

I did at first until it was done to me. I was suprised at how I felt about that. I have kept everyone since then and just give them a little encouragement from time to time. That's what this is all about right.

^^ Like

careyannal

If you use the app does it still count as a log in?

Yes

Evarell

I've done it recently, but now I wonder-- does the deletee receive a message that they have been cut?

The person I deleted had lots and lots of friends, so I figured she wouldn't notice, but if there's an alert. . . I may owe an apology. :ohwell:

bevtyndall

Sorry but this is not FB where I need friends.Especially people who are going to critisize what i eat if it doesnt please them..DONT NEED THE AGGREVATION...

sexikc

It is pointless to me..I dont delete people...and my group of friends all seem to be pretty down to earth....I eat what I want. Be it McDonalds...be it Tex-Mex be it cake (August is pretty bad with cake to cuz its my birthday month) Be it anything! I really dont understand why people will delete people becasue of what they eat. Any day I eat McD I am still under my calorie goal...and guess what my ticker is STILL moving 16lbs so far eating McD (quite a lot) some days I dont log some days I dont know how many calories was in my meals who cares...none of that changes that fact that I want to be healthy, lose weight, support and be supportive...thank goodness some of you lofty people are not on my list...I would be deleted...hmph

*thinks* I dont log my water...I bet someone deletes people becasue of that!

ajones1227

I deleted someone becuase she kept compaining about deleting folks who didnt have pictures or open diary.

If someone doesnt want help with their diets then why do they need an open diary. Like me.Its closed for now, but if i want advice i'll open it.

I thought she was a nosybody. She kept me even though i had a closed diary. I thought it was mean to delete people for closed diary so i deleted her first.
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I agree. That's silly to delete someone because there diary not open for you to critique everything they put in there mouth. As long as the ticker is going down and they're putting forth some effort it shouldn't matter

kima1144

yes i dont understand why people are your friend on here and dont give encouragement .i get on line every nite for around 15 too 20 mins and send encouragement to all my friends i have about 30 friends and only about 4- 6 people every send encouragement back to me so i think i going to delete some friends soon because then are on line makeing post and see me tell them they are doing good but never do the same 4 me lol

kima1144

Well i love to see other people diary because i have no idea what im doing im new at this and need alot of help and it help me on diffrent food i can try to eat

Penfoldsplace

This is why I don't have friends on mfp. I used to but people who I felt I had spent time supporting deleted me which made me feel quite bad. It was pathetic really to be affected by people who I don't even know.

I know I didn't always reply to every friend every day but I would rather spend time on a couple of meaningful messages than write to everyone with just "well done" or "wtg". I also had started to feel I had to prove myself in some way to strangers. I accept criticism and advice well I think but I stated to feel that I had to apologise or feel bad for eating certain foods. I had already lost around 60 pounds before joining mfp so I didn't really like people telling me I should cut out this or that when i hadn't sort out that advice. I probably just need a thicker skin!

So I apologised to my mfp friends and then started a new account and I think this is the best way for me. Different things work for different people but I am making more progress now I am only concerned about myself and not what others think or me.

cassiepv

Why delete someone if they dont log in ? You're allowed to have 1000 friends