embarrassment after losing weight?

davisrl0

I was kinda like this at first. I dont take compliments well. But Ive had to make myself OK with taking compliments. I still have to fight the urge every time to NOT reply to a compliment with a negative comment. I've MADE myself just say "Thanks!" or, "aww, you're so sweet for saying that!" and smile. The end. No negative reply. When the weight first came off last year, there were several coworkers who looked to me for inspiration and I'd have to actually give health advice (something so foreign to me)...so I HAD to hold my head high and be proud.

CannibalisticVegetarian

I couldn't quite understand or explain this either, but I tend to get embarrassed by the compliments. I mean the compliments within themselves are nice, but there's just something that makes me feel like retracting into my metaphorical shell. People tell me that I'm being a bit weird and I chalk it up to modesty, but in the back of my mind it probably stems from me not being able to see it.. or at least feeling like it's nothing to brag about until I actually reach my goal.

In almost every instance of someone complimenting me, I thank them and tell them that I still have a way's way to go and get even MORE humiliated when they chew me out about it.

Glad someone else could totally relate.

susanrose73

Yes, I feel like that too! Just tonight a neighbor said I look great and I was so uncomfortable! I guess because I still need to lose at least 50 pounds. But I hate attention because I have always been so big. So this takes some getting used to!

dnish53

I finally figured out that I use to hide behind my weight, which is why every time I would lose 20 lbs I ended up putting it back on. Now I own my weight loss. I've discovered every time someone makes a comment or pays me a compliment it keeps me motivated to keep doing it. I just say thank you and if they ask how I did it I just tell them healthy eating and a lot of hard work exercising. I am now down 65 lbs. and I find it is getting easier to acknowledge the weight loss. Yes sometimes I am still embarrassed, but I am not going to let that get in my way.

0somuchbetter0

I've always hated acknowledging my weight problem so I've always just downplayed it because I don't want to be noticed. So now when people (especially people I don't know very well) say something about my weight loss it's just out there and obvious and yes, I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. I also tend to come across as self assured and confident (which I am about some things), so people acknowledging my weight makes me feel like my secret is out and I've got serious "issues.". Don't know if that makes sense...

seximami79

I think you feel uncomfortable because so many people put such high value on appearances and weight and feel obligated to say something about it. You SHOULD feel proud of the hard work you have invested in losing weight (if that is what you wanted) because that must have been part of your attention.

I feel similarly annoyed because people I haven't seen in awhile feel comfortable/appropriate in telling me that I have gained weight, "put meat on my bones," or my butt/breasts are bigger, etc...especially when it is always by someone bigger than me.

Oh well...people love to talk and say what they will. I am working out consistently though. Congrats on your goals:)

asbonita3

I feel the same way sometimes. My coworkers call me "skinny", mind you I'm in a size 18 from a 22. I feel uncomfortable and want to say i'm no where near skinny. I just feel weird like most of the people that say this to me are smaller than me. Maybe there not fit in their standards, but still weird for me. I worry when i hit my first goal what it'll be like.

splashangel

Yea. I think I do. I hadn't thought about it though till I read this. As soon as I read this I remembered talking to a friend tonight. I was telling her what all I ate today( It's my birthday and as you know there are no calories in birthday food ) she commented that she wasn't skinny like me and couldn't do that. I felt guilty. She's about 300 lbs over weight. I answered her with" Huh". That's about how I handle it when I get a comment or a compliment. I just kinda give an off hand sound or random word like, right? or well? Alright. Then I move past the moment quickly with conversation or walking off. But now, I talk openly with my family and on here. Hmmm. Thinking...

JenniferARoss

I was feeling this way today! Especially when people want to know specifically how much weight I have lost (105lbs ish) felt like blinking back tears at one point...

Glad I'm not the only one. :-)

PeaceCorpsKat

I feel you... it is calling attention to something you are sensitive about - even if you are proud of it

Fedup85

bump

dw4378

In speaking for myself and even though I am far from where I want and need to be, some people have noticed my small weight loss and for me I think it is that I am so used to being unnoticed and in the shadows per say and not used to hearing many positive statements. So when something positive is said its like almost you don't know how to respond because you have never been there before, it's unfamiliar territory to receive compliments. You get used to people always telling you, you should lose weight or getting odd looks when you are eating a hamburger and fries if you are heavier almost as if they see you in disgust. I think for many of us this will definitely will be a learning process, but am hoping that one day I can hear "You look good" and for me to say "I know!! " :happy:

mwheatcraft54

I've heard this can be a problem. Can I say, I'm sorry your friends are so ham-handed. I'm sure they're trying to be nice, but if they could hear themselves . . .

Some people might be curious - like, how did you do it, I'd like to try too. However, none of it excuses rudeness. Honestly, it's rude to comment on someone's appearance other than the general, gentle "Wow you look great!" So go ahead and ignore them. You don't have to be embarrassed - you know what you've done and you should be proud, but don't let them feel anything else about your accomplishments.

MinnieInMaine

We're not used to the attention so it can be tough at first.

Here's the thing...you have to look at it from their perspective. They're happy for you and want you to know that they've noticed how hard you're working and that they're proud of you. Dismissing compliments is kind of rude IMHO. Even if you're not feeling it, just smile and say thank you and that'll end the conversation nicely. As others have said, you should feel proud of yourself - this is no cake walk! You're doing a fantastic thing!

As far as the backhand comments go.... When appropriate, have the same response (smile and thanks) whether you think they meant it as a compliment or they were being snippy (I love "killing with kindness"). And if they saying "you're getting too skinny", explain to them that this isn't about getting skinny, it's about being healthy and fit and they shouldn't worry about you starving yourself or anything like that. Sometimes a direct response is the best way.

emiahnissi

Yes, I know what you mean. I think I even blush when people compliment me about my weigh loss. Even though I ways to go. I was so embarrased yesterday at the gym. I was on the treadmil and this guy who I have seen many times in the Gym got on the treamil next to me and through the mirror he keeped smiling at me.. I got so self conscious. I am thinking he is laughing at me, but to my surprise when he got off the machine he said.. your looking real good keep up the good job. I think at that point I wanted the earth to swallow me..Why I should of been glowing but noooo my behind was motified,

megalin9

I have conflicted feelings about it and don't know why. I feel 100% proud of myself for what I've accomplished and really, sometimes, I feel full of myself! Haha. In my own head, I need to tone down the arrogance a little. But I've had two instances when someone has made a big deal of it, and I totally blushed, almost to the point of tears. I don't know what the heck was wrong with me. I like the compliments. I welcome the compliments. I know I'm lookin' so much better than I did, and I deserve the compliments for my hard work. Why in the world do I blush and get emotional?!

Rubie81

I'm always so proud whenever any one notices. It actually motivates me to continue.

anggoc

The last time I lost weight l got to my skinniest weight ever and also had the same reaction from people.Just stay positive ,stand tall be proud of what you've accomplished! I really let comments get me down,I was embarresed and just wished people would get used to me being skinny and healthy already! This time around I take compliments better( I didn't at first) I also am just focused on my overall health and don't let what others say get me down. Stay focused ,people just have to accept the new you.

kater8er

YES! This is so me! I get really embarrased. I think it's maybe because I never like to think of other people seeing me as *fat* or *chubby*...So when they comment on my weight loss, it makes me think I was somehow a bad person when I was bigger, and that I'm so much more valuable now, smaller.

ffhsanfran

People are made to talk, talk, talk, and bother each other. Any of them have offered help and support? Hold on to them. Trash the other comments. Comments, not people. Hold on to people. Or move to an desolate island.