A guy told me he's in love with me, I don't feel the same.

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  • unJunk
    unJunk Posts: 29
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    We've had a fwb relationship for the last year that has slowly come to involve more emotions. But I always felt like I was the one who was pushing for more of a real relationship, and got the impression that he was still more interested in sex than anything. So I finally forced myself to be real and honest with myself, decided to get over him and move on, and mentally, I'm there. Tonight I told him this and he responded by telling me he's in love with me and finally realized he really wants to be with me. I'm the first girl he's ever felt this way about. I have no doubt he's being sincere, but wow, terrible timing. And I can't help but wonder if he's only using the word "love" in an act of desperation. We've gone on a few dates and such but never actually called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. It was in a weird limbo stage and I knew that couldn't last forever. And thinking about it rationally, I don't see it going anywhere long-term :/

    We are gonna both take some time to think and be sure of our feelings. But what do you guys think? So many times in the last year he's given me reasons why he's not ready to be in a relationship. Maybe now he's realized he DOES want that after all... but for me, it's too late.

    You have already decided. I think if he isn't capable of giving you a valid reason for stringing you along then you have your answer.
  • ehg87
    ehg87 Posts: 430 Member
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    FWB story for ya! I had an awesome FWB.....but then I fell for him hard, and he was not ready to settle down...so I sucked up my feelings, and ditched him before he ditched me (cuz I could see that's where it was headed) Fast forward 2 years of no seeing each other, with an occasional email....he grew up, the timing was finally right and we got together as bf/gf. That's been 3 years ago, and we've been married for almost 2 of those :) Nothing better than marrying you're best friend, and as the saying goes....if you love something let it go, if it comes back it's yours
  • JMJ1983
    JMJ1983 Posts: 170 Member
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    It is a hard and difficult situation for sure. Part of you wants to scream at him, why didn't this come out when I was trying my hardest to get over you!!! Like others have said, you have to be honest with yourself and find some solitary time to figure out what it is you truly want or don't want.

    Friends with Benefits is a difficult and slippery slope like others have said where someone either feels like they are being used or someone develops true feelings.

    I will have been married to my friend with benefits for 6 years next month, sometimes things have a way of working themselves out!!!!

    But again, the most important thing is to make sure your both being honest with yourselves and your feelings about eachother.

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