in desperate need of cheering up
Replies
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You have a house, you have a hand, and you have free time to explore other working options!
To others, that might be the best day in their life. It's all about perception!!
Hope you are smiling by now!! 0 -
Wow, i have to admit, reading buddy's nasty "deal with it" made me laugh, and cheered me up a bit. Sorry about your day though...0
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so while cleaning the kitchen i knocked a glass of water off the counter....right onto my cat....oh man the look she shot me as she watched the water drip off her body was priceless!!!
i love my critters, they always seem to cheer me up. hope your day gets better.0 -
I was recently in the dairy state, Wisconsin. I kept asking if a dairy cow laughed would milk come out it's nose....nobody knew...hmmm0
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YAYYYY!!!!!!!!! Glad I could helpHeck, you don't even have to leave MFP to get cheered up. This thread had me TOTALLY DYING about an hour ago...
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/717124-autocorrects-gonna-getcha
Hope things get better and you feel better soon! {{ hugs }}
After I hit 'POST REPLY' I saw you in the thread - you rock! - Totally brightened my day!0 -
Here's my attempt.....
“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”0 -
YAYYYY!!!!!!!!! Glad I could helpHeck, you don't even have to leave MFP to get cheered up. This thread had me TOTALLY DYING about an hour ago...
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/717124-autocorrects-gonna-getcha
Hope things get better and you feel better soon! {{ hugs }}
After I hit 'POST REPLY' I saw you in the thread - you rock! - Totally brightened my day!
Glad to hear it! Thank you! 0 -
This always makes me laugh...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fitxofd7kOA&feature=g-vrec
Hope all goes well! Hang in there!0 -
That's called life. Deal with it. Dont rely on others to buck you up....pull yourself up and good things happen.
^^Seriously?
Okay google this site: STFU parents. hahahahaha!
or... and my personal favorite... the oatmeal.0 -
Hope your day gets better! 0 -
If you'e vegetarian or vegan, you may want to skip this...
My brother-in-law's mother, lets call her Susan, was a little girl when her parents decided they wanted to raise some chickens. (this was back in the 50's I think)
Anyway, they set them up in a pen on their acreage so they could be somewhat free range, and things were going well for a few weeks.
About that time, Susan's mother decided to clean out the cold storage room, and get rid of any canned fruit, veg, pickles, etc. that were a couple of years old. They threw out a bunch, cleaned the room, and suddenly had to leave the house for the rest of the day.
They came home around dinner time, and found all their new chickens were dead! They realized they must have gotten into the compost pile of old canned food and died of food poisoning. Well, they were thrifty, and didn't want these chickens to go to waste, so even though they couldn't eat the meat, they could at least harvest the feathers to make pillows out of. So they plucked all the chickens, and were done with the last couple when the chickens started waking up. They weren't dead, after all. They had eaten some fermented cherries and gotten drunk and passed out. (as best as they could figure out) Well, now they had drunk, hungover chickens, and they didnt want to butcher them just yet, because they werent really big yet, and it was getting cold out, so the mother told Susan and her sister to go in the house and collect all their doll clothes. They put the doll clothes on the chickens to keep them warm at night. So they had these hungover, dressed up chickens wandering around their yard for a few more weeks until they were big enough to butcher. And that is my drunk chicken story.
That...was...AWESOME!0 -
HI, sorry things are so bad right now. It is so gross when the light at the end of the tunnel just isn't there. I can tell you ( i am retired) that thro my career many opportunities passed me by but a funny thing happened, I always ended with jobs that I loved and that paid much more, Hang in there. My sister is extremly handicapped (in a wheelchair, little use of her hands, lives alone and takes care of herself!) she gets up every morning and decides to be happy. It amazes me how it works.Give it a try.
On a lighter note: Did you know that Mattell has brought out a new Barbie? Divorced Barbie she comes with all of Ken's stuff!
That's the best I can do.
Be Strong, be Brave. "This too shall pass"0 -
That's called life. Deal with it. Dont rely on others to buck you up....pull yourself up and good things happen.
Who peed in your protein shake this morning? Sheesh.
Hope your day gets better OP!
Lmao!0 -
That's called life. Deal with it. Dont rely on others to buck you up....pull yourself up and good things happen.
I don't think this was as rude as you all think... it's nice to get hugs and pats on the shoulder when you have a super ****ty day... but I know for me, sometimes I need to hear something exactly like this to really get me to stop feeling sorry for myself and make some changes (not saying OP is feeling sorry for herself... it's just something I tend to do)
I have way too many people in my life who enable my self pity.. I need more tough love!0 -
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummi bear!0 -
A toothless termite walked into a bar and asked..
"where's the bar tender?"0 -
Ok, watch this video.. Seriously, it never fails to cheer me up. EVER. Watch it now!!! :happy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFmqMe0pQ5A 0 -
http://www.amazon.com/Victorio-Kitchen-Products-Banana-Slicer/dp/B001F5STWU/ref=sr_1_cc_3?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1345830901&sr=1-3-catcorr&keywords=banana+slicer
If you have some time to play around on the internet, go read the reviews to this product on Amazon - they are funny.
I read another one too, that was even funnier. I'm trying to remember the product and I'll post if I do
Those are hilarious0 -
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Here you go!!!!!!!
Q : How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A : He forgot to wrap his whopper
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aw thankyou everybody these nice words and funny jokes cracked me up! feelin' a lot better now! feel free to add me too:) 0
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Two men walked into a bar and the third one ducked!
Ahahahahahah
Yeah...that was lame but I hope you got a chuckle out of the lameness :flowerforyou: I'm sorry today sucks. Tomorrow will be better. I just know it.0 -
I'm pregnant. And it's yours. And it's twins.
None of that is true. You're welcome.0 -
That's called life. Deal with it. Dont rely on others to buck you up....pull yourself up and good things happen.
miserable much?0 -
That's called life. Deal with it. Dont rely on others to buck you up....pull yourself up and good things happen.
miserable much?
He is miserable. That's why he spouts his "tough love malarkey". He just really needs to lay off the Nickelback and Shinedown, park his 89 Camaro in the driveway, and go take a nice looooooong walk.0 -
I'm pregnant. And it's yours. And it's twins.
None of that is true. You're welcome.
Funny story....I was at a wedding reception (i might have been drinking, lol) when I got the hiccups. And not just any hiccups....BAD ones...really bad. I couldn't stop laughing. My roommate turned around and said...."HEY! listen, im pregnant." (I stopped instantly and got so scared) "And its yours..." lol seeing as how my roommate and i are both female that obiously wasnt possible. We both laughed extremely hard. My hiccups went away 0 -
ohhhh I've got one- it's kinda gross- so if you have a weak stomach or are a PRUDE- I don't advise reading.
There was a 86 year old virgin, she started getting a really bad itch in her crotch- worried, she decided to go to the doctor.
DR: Can you tell me why we're seeing you today?
LADY: Yes, I have an itch in my crotch and it's really worrying me.
DR: Sure, we can run some tests.
about an hour later DR comes back in,
DR: Yes ma'am ...we ran some test and it looks like you have crabs
Lady: Sir, that's not possible. I'm a virgin.
DR (With puzzled look) well ma'am, the tests show you have crabs
Lady: That's just absurd- i'm going to go get another opinion.
(she sees two more doctors and they both tell her the same thing- so now she's very frustrated and heads to another doctor)
Lady: Let me start by telling you i'm a virgin. So there is NO WAY I have crabs- like the last few doctors have told me.
Doctor (giggles) Okay, well I'm sure we can figure out what's wrong- let us run some tests
about two hours go by and the doctor comes back in
Doctor: Okay well I have good news and bad news- good news is you don't have crabs
Lady: That's what i've been saying all along!
Doctor: well, umm ma'am....the bad news is your cherry rotted, and you have fruit flies.0 -
That's called life. Deal with it. Dont rely on others to buck you up....pull yourself up and good things happen.
miserable much?
He is miserable. That's why he spouts his "tough love malarkey". He just really needs to lay off the Nickelback and Shinedown, park his 89 Camaro in the driveway, and go take a nice looooooong walk.
haha, agreed!0 -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVfTUwk4AJI&feature=related
I lul'd until I peed myself............... hope this helps0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8
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