Am I the only one that doesn't want friends??

245

Replies

  • omanitshann
    omanitshann Posts: 179
    I didn't plan on adding friends when I joined this site either. I just joined out of curiosity as to how much I ate, and decided to keep track of it daily. But people do add me on here, and as long as they're not creepy I don't mind accepting. I just never add people on my own.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    So...you want to reach out and connect with others who also don't want friends?

    *confused*

    No I was bored so created a post :smile:

    To talk to voyeurs on t'interweb... ?
  • sionnain
    sionnain Posts: 96
    I find it bizarre too. Add me! Etc. Unless I mean that I feel a connection to someone after chatting with them. I have plenty of online friends. But I don't fish for them.
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,571 Member
    I didn't want any friends at first, either. I didn't want to post a profile pic, I didn't want to share my diary with even my sister, but I gradually added a few folks from this or that group, and I really appreciate the positive vibes. Now, I have a bunch of friends (although still a managable number), my diary is open to the public, and I even posted a blog about my first year of MFP.

    Do whatever you prefer and good luck with your weight loss.:flowerforyou:
  • AGGUK73
    AGGUK73 Posts: 91 Member
    Do you walk into a party or bar or club or even your job and decide, I'm not talking to anyone here, I have enough friends already? Why limit yourself to only what you already know? I have 140+ people on my friends list and only about a half dozen of them do I know outside of MFP. And I have gained so much in friendship (YES real friendship) from the all of those people and am very grateful to have them in my life.

    Open your mind, broaden your horizons...you might like it.

    Being in a 'real' social situation cannot be compared to cyber relationships. It's not like for like, & never will be. In real life you wouldn't be in public & decide you didn't want to 'socialise'. Your face to face & having a verbal conversation with body language etc. which helps you make an informed choice whether this person is 'friend' material. I have exactly the same opinion with facebook, although that has no point to it, where as MFP does. I'm not knocking the people who add random people. I just don't 'get' it & it's not for me. I prefer to actually 'know' my mates in person, just my feeble opinion.

    i actually just had lunch and went shopping for corsets with a friend from here...it was a great time. I am lucky to have met her.

    Fair play for that, I'm pleased you have found a 'real' friend. They are out there, you have proved.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I think the distinction is, (at least it is for me), is that these MFP friendships should grow organically...slowly, over time...not as a result of a "I need friends, please add me!!11!!1" forum post. I'm not opposed to MFP friends, but I think the more successful ones will be in response to something the person said that led you to believe they would be a good candidate to be your MFP friend.

    Myself, as an example, I almost never send FRs. I believe I've sent three in my entire MFP lifetime. But if someone sees something I wrote on the forums (or as a friend of a friend sees a wall post) and thinks I'd be an entertaining friend, I'll accept their FR.

    (However, if it doesn't work out for some reason, like we are incompatible in our approach to healthy living, (or even if I just don't like them for whatever reason), I'll drop them. I expect the same from them. Heck, I've probably been dropped by a half dozen people just because of my annoying overuse of parentheses.)
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
    So...you want to reach out and connect with others who also don't want friends?

    *confused*

    hmmm, I also think it is an odd choice to start a topic on "not wanting friend" to interact with.

    I love my MFP Friends!!!
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    I really like having friends on here. It's awesome to have people in the same boat as you are and who support you when you need it :smile: .
  • AGGUK73
    AGGUK73 Posts: 91 Member
    So...you want to reach out and connect with others who also don't want friends?

    *confused*

    No I was bored so created a post :smile:

    To talk to voyeurs on t'interweb... ?

    I'm banking on them not all being voyeurs, & besides my profile is closed (I hope) :wink:
  • mavrick7
    mavrick7 Posts: 1,607 Member
    Before you all slate me, I totally get what this site is designed for......help & support, BUT, I can't be the only person who doesn't want to add random people I don't know?? Yeh, I know.......don't then......so I don't. But how many do you reckon are just into 'vouyeurism' & just want to 'gawp' at what your eating, & then slag you off or give you a load of advice based on what?? Don't get me wrong I like the community forums, but that's because I can pick & choose what I participate in. Oh, maybe I'm just miserable & un-sociable............actually I like people that I know in real life :wink: :laugh:

    I understand what you are saying and agree that some people want to "hook up", but the beauty is that there is no way to contact you outside of the forum. Solution: be selective about who you choose to add as friends.

    Superficial friends? maybe, but think about this: how many of your friends are truly your "real friends" outside of MFP. Everyone has their own "motives" at work, the gym, or social group. Ask these same questions to your real friends: you may be surprised by their responses.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    So...you want to reach out and connect with others who also don't want friends?

    *confused*

    No I was bored so created a post :smile:

    C'mon, admit it...you saw one of my posts like this, thought it was genius, and wanted to emulate it.

    It's okay, I'm not mad. In fact, it's almost flattering.

    :tongue:
  • CarolElaine25
    CarolElaine25 Posts: 102 Member
    Everyone has different needs and is looking for different things from the site. For me it's best for tracking my food and exercise calories. I do have several friends on MFP, but most of them are people who were already friends in real life or are real life friends/family of theirs. There are exactly three people on my friends list who weren't friends/friends of friends before I started on MFP. Two of them I requested to be their friend because I read something they wrote on a forum topic or in a blog entry and I really liked what they wrote and how they wrote it. The third person requested to be my MFP friend and I accepted.

    Personally I don't need a long list of MFP friends. My small support system works for me. Even better, my list is small enough that no one gets lost in the noise. I know that doesn't work for everyone, but it works for a curmudgeon like me.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Do you walk into a party or bar or club or even your job and decide, I'm not talking to anyone here, I have enough friends already? Why limit yourself to only what you already know? I have 140+ people on my friends list and only about a half dozen of them do I know outside of MFP. And I have gained so much in friendship (YES real friendship) from the all of those people and am very grateful to have them in my life.

    Open your mind, broaden your horizons...you might like it.

    Being in a 'real' social situation cannot be compared to cyber relationships. It's not like for like, & never will be. In real life you wouldn't be in public & decide you didn't want to 'socialise'. Your face to face & having a verbal conversation with body language etc. which helps you make an informed choice whether this person is 'friend' material. I have exactly the same opinion with facebook, although that has no point to it, where as MFP does. I'm not knocking the people who add random people. I just don't 'get' it & it's not for me. I prefer to actually 'know' my mates in person, just my feeble opinion.

    i actually just had lunch and went shopping for corsets with a friend from here...it was a great time. I am lucky to have met her.

    To go along with what Jules said, I have met someone from here and we both did Warrior Dash together. And in 3 weeks I'm going on a girls trip with my real life best friend, also on here, and we are meeting up with two awesome chics we met ON HERE.

    How do you think online dating works? It starts with getting to know someone ONLINE. Same with friendships. I have people on here I call FRIENDS. Not "online" friends, but real friends. People I have turned to when I'm sad, when I have good news, or when I just want to talk. I have many who I have texted with, talked on the phone with, and have talked about meetups. It may not be for you, and that's fine, but don't think that just because a relationship starts online that it isn't real.
  • davert123
    davert123 Posts: 1,568 Member
    My experience - I've tried to loose weight many times and nothing ever worked. Along comes MFP and allows me to interact with others and for the first time in my life its working. The only difference between this time and all the other times in my life that I failes is the people I've met here. We keep each other going and I love it.
  • snowdrop_diva
    snowdrop_diva Posts: 142 Member
    You know you can turn your profile to "Myself Only" if you don't want those pesky FR's on an online fitness social network. :tongue:

    Or maybe give Google and a fitness diary (or a program on your computer to track things offline) for the ones who said they don't really want people to see their entries. *lol*

    In all seriousness though, use MFP how ever you choose.
    There is no set rule forcing the members to do things out side of their comfort zone here as far as I know.

    You can post Private or Public, have RL friends, Online friends or no friends ... totally not up to any of us. That's all you and your preferences. :drinker: Cheers
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    ive heard one has to like themselves before they can like others ........ just sayin
  • viad25720
    viad25720 Posts: 57 Member
    No It's not weird. Mfp is a tool for you to use for your health and wellness. How you utilize the rest of the site is your business really. I see nothing wrong with it either way.
  • schma100
    schma100 Posts: 9
    So the "vicious circle" of dieting or choosing a program to loose weight happens without encouragement. Encouragement may be in the form of reading about others (on this program) - or it may come from ppl who are where they want to be physically or spiritually who love you. Either way you have a choice to learn something new or a new food by having friends. I personally only have 6 friends by choice so I dont get caught up in politics and forget my purpose or vision. You can find some and not really gel with them and you can say bye bye or you, ironically, may just find someone that you relate to. good luck
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    So...you want to reach out and connect with others who also don't want friends?

    *confused*

    No I was bored so created a post :smile:

    C'mon, admit it...you saw one of my posts like this, thought it was genius, and wanted to emulate it.

    It's okay, I'm not mad. In fact, it's almost flattering.

    :tongue:

    see. this is why I stalked you through the forums and had to have you.
  • ShannonGo
    ShannonGo Posts: 60
    Most of my "friends" on MFP are from another forum that I belong to that is not fitness or health related. I joined because someone on that forum suggested it. I have never met any of them except one but they are great friends and are safer for my sanity to befriend on MFP than IRL friends. My dietitian is also my friend. That makes it awkward, but its still OK.

    I would rather not be friends with my husband. We're all special and official on Facebook, so our relationship is real and all... but I don't need Mr. Fitman all up in my grill. Then again... I have a different perspective of internet friendships because I did meet my husband online 9.5 years ago in a chat room on Yahoo, so that makes me less frightened and suspicious of internet friends.
  • erika613
    erika613 Posts: 27 Member
    No It's not weird. Mfp is a tool for you to use for your health and wellness. How you utilize the rest of the site is your business really. I see nothing wrong with it either way.

    Agreed! I don't use many social networking tools because I don't want everybody knowing my business. (FB? barf!).

    That said, I did accept a friend request from a random person because her profile looked cool. Will we be BFF's? Probably not. And since I don't let anyone see my food diary, it doesn't feel overly intrusive.
  • kairisika
    kairisika Posts: 131 Member
    Do you walk into a party or bar or club or even your job and decide, I'm not talking to anyone here, I have enough friends already? Why limit yourself to only what you already know? I have 140+ people on my friends list and only about a half dozen of them do I know outside of MFP. And I have gained so much in friendship (YES real friendship) from the all of those people and am very grateful to have them in my life.
    Being in a 'real' social situation cannot be compared to cyber relationships. It's not like for like, & never will be. In real life you wouldn't be in public & decide you didn't want to 'socialise'. Your face to face & having a verbal conversation with body language etc. which helps you make an informed choice whether this person is 'friend' material. I have exactly the same opinion with facebook, although that has no point to it, where as MFP does. I'm not knocking the people who add random people. I just don't 'get' it & it's not for me. I prefer to actually 'know' my mates in person, just my feeble opinion.
    When I walk into a grocery store, I am there to pick up food. I might idly chat to another person if we're both picking out apples or waiting in the checkout line, but what I'm there fore is to get food, not socialize.
    When I signed up for MFP, it was to give myself a handy way to keep a food diary, and check up on myself. When I'm bored, I sometimes chat through the forums, but I'm fairly self-motivated when it comes to my dietary goals, and don't have much interest in signing up MFP 'friends'. I'm not even MFP-friends with the real-life friends I have who use MFP. Just don't use it for that. So yes, OP, I see where you're coming from.
  • xTattooedDollx
    xTattooedDollx Posts: 426 Member
    Then why bother posting?
  • belladonnablue
    belladonnablue Posts: 24
    I'm not really big on having friends on here either. I really tried at first, and went all-in being as friendly and supportive as I could, but I still got backlash from misinterpreted comments and it steered me off the site for a few days. I'd rather skip the negative connotation and just use the site for what I initially wanted, which is a really easy calorie calculator. I get encouragement outside of MFP, so don't really feel like I'm missing anything. Except for drama from oversensitive people. Or proof that I'm offensive even when I'm trying to be on my best behavior. Whichever.
  • wilmnoca
    wilmnoca Posts: 416 Member
    Im with you. All my stuff is private. You're not weird :)
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    No It's not weird. Mfp is a tool for you to use for your health and wellness. How you utilize the rest of the site is your business really. I see nothing wrong with it either way.

    A reasonable perspective. Right up until the point where you post a thread about it... :)
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Dagnabbit...and I said I wasn't going to get pulled into this on a serious level...

    I'll take the bar analogy. If I walk into a bar (or other social setting), I look for opportunities to interact with people who catch my eye for whatever reason, or who I thought might potentially be interesting in conversation. From that initial interaction, each of us would be determining if we wanted to continue our relationship and perhaps develop it further. It's a natural, organic process that has worked for many many years. It works similarly online on MFP as you see someone's forum posts or wall posts of a friend of a friend. You learn a little something about them and determine if you want to interact with them more.

    However, I would never walk into a bar and yell, "I need friends! Please be my friend!"
  • _KatieKat
    _KatieKat Posts: 224
    I love all mine. I was like that at first but then you really get to know the people and I get great advice too. I like the people on here better than my in person friends. And they help me to keep going when I want to give up and help me thru when Im feeling down. I love them! :flowerforyou:
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    so far, i've had nothing but support from everyone. even people who eat clean religiously or are on extremely strict diets don't force their opinions down my throat about my diary (i'm not a clean eater although i DO think it is healthier... i don't do it because i like my sweets LOL). all of my friends have been so super supportive and I'm very very thankful for that!
  • grubb1019
    grubb1019 Posts: 371 Member
    I am an introvert, but I probably would have quit by now if it wasn't for my friends. I was careful on who I accepted as a friend, I looked for people with similar amounts of weight to loose and similar interests. I have only deleted one person because she constantly complained about her weight going up and down daily, like that isn't normal. My friends keep me accountable and encourage me when I feel defeated. So what if they see your diary? That's the point, they can call you out when you are screwing up and praise you when you are doing well. It is what has kept me going.

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