I'd rather stay home than let them see how fat I am

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  • noahsmommie
    noahsmommie Posts: 71 Member
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    So go, have fun, spend time with your other half and smile knowing that this is the last party you'll ever go to at that weight. :)

    THIS!
  • IslandDreamer64
    IslandDreamer64 Posts: 258 Member
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    I know how difficult this situation can be but please don't ever let your size keep you home! Easier said then done, I realize. But just remember this--people aren't thinking about you, they're too concerned with themselves and what they look like. Another great quote I heard somewhere is "What others think of you is none of your business."

    I hope you can have a good time and enjoy your husband and the company of others. It won't kill you, I promise!




    :laugh:
  • DarlingFluff
    DarlingFluff Posts: 1
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    I tend to approach feelings like this in the opposite way, which may seem unhelpful but I just thought you should know that everyone has insecurities and fears of judgement. If I'm afraid to go to an event or do anything because of insecurities I really push myself to do it because I'm more afraid of not living my life. So even if I walk into a room feeling sick to my stomach I do it and 9 times out of 10 things go better than I think. A friend of mine has a "one drink" policy. She'll go to a party and if she's not into it after one drink she leaves. What helps me is thinking about ways I can shift the focus off myself, I'll plan to compliment someone on their appearance (hair, dress, etc.) or tell the host or hostess how good the food is or how nice the house looks. Things like that usually make people smile and feel good and those feelings tend to spread themselves around.
  • IzzyBmydog
    IzzyBmydog Posts: 58 Member
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    I totally understand where you are coming from. I too deal with that. There are so many of my friends from my past who want to meet up for drinks and I can't bring myself to be in the same room with them in fear they will judge me. This kind of sucks. I find that trying to make myself look the best I can does sometimes help.
  • IzzyBmydog
    IzzyBmydog Posts: 58 Member
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    Totally agree with you here.
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
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    I also won't go anywhere where I meet see old friends. I do not want them to see me over 200 pounds. I declined an invitation last year to a big Thanksgiving dinner because I refused to let people look at me. Won't see them until I reach my goal weight.
  • tyriala
    tyriala Posts: 3 Member
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    Yeah, I know that feeling. I've moved to the town my boyfriend was living in and he would always try to make me meet his friends and I did meet them the first year around.. but now it's been a year since I went out with him. Not only because I'm embarrassed, but also because it was always way too exhausting to walk every night back home since there are no more trains or something. I haven't been at my parents home for more than a year, too and now I'm invited to my cousins wedding in October and I don't know how to face my family. I was always big, but I gained almost 40kg since the last time they saw me. That's gonna be a lot of fun.
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
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    You need to stop what you are saying and start enjoying life and quit worrying about what everyone else thinks. I truly doubt if you are going to be successful in losing weight if you are worried about what other people think of you. You only have one life, regardless of whether you are fat or not you need to find something that is going to make you happy.
  • lglg11
    lglg11 Posts: 344 Member
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    They will not be as critical of you as you think they we be. We are sooo much harder on ourselves then anybody else is. Don't be discouraged but instead get encouraged knowing this will be the LAST dreaded event you go to. By this time next year you will be running out the door to be the first one at the parties.

    Have a great time. Consider this your 'bottom'. There's only one way to go from the floor.. up!
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
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    You might end the event with a nice surprise for yourself..."hey it was not bad at all and I had fun (or am glad I got out of the house)"

    That's how it always works for me...worst in the prelude of my own head than in reality. Good Luck
  • alli_baba
    alli_baba Posts: 232 Member
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    People are too involved in what people think of them to worry about what they think of others. They will have put on weight, got wrinles, cankles, bad dresses, lost teeth, droopy boobs, had babies, too much sun, divorced, bags under the eyes, car crashes, scars, bad marriages etc. They will be worried that they haven't achieved, have become alcoholics, gamblers, got fleas, twenty kids and have no money. Yours is only weight and can be changed as you are proving, right here and right now.
    fantastic....
    So true (and so well put :-) Everybody -- and I mean everybody -- has their insecurities. The trick is to put them in perspective and not let them dictate your life.

    Have fun tonight!
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    You need to stop what you are saying and start enjoying life and quit worrying about what everyone else thinks. I truly doubt if you are going to be successful in losing weight if you are worried about what other people think of you. You only have one life, regardless of whether you are fat or not you need to find something that is going to make you happy.

    I dont doubt her success at all. People have feelings and working through them is part of the process...i felt the same way, and 11 months later Im doing quite well, and she will too.
  • ItsFinallyHappening
    ItsFinallyHappening Posts: 65 Member
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    THANK YOU EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

    I went to the party and had a great time. My husband told me how nice I looked. I stayed away from the food and had a great evening. Thanks for all of your support today. I brought you all to the party with me and had your comments in my head.

    I took my starting picture as recommended - I had a great day, so thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Good night.
  • meledo85
    meledo85 Posts: 27 Member
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    I feel your pain, I have been doing the same thing for the last seven years. I live only a hour away from my home town and I refused to go there! I'm ashamed of myself I don't want anyone to see me! This is why I have decided to make a change. I want to have pride in myself and not hide anymore.

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