Lost the weight...more lonely than ever

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  • rexzmumu
    rexzmumu Posts: 95 Member
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    looks alone... i dont get it and hope you find the girl your looking for or... you know, just a friend ;) whatever your looking for.
  • LvLite
    LvLite Posts: 102 Member
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    I will have to say as a single.. When I am in that moment.. hearing "It will just happen" drives me batty (no offense to all you who said that .. I know it is true!) But .. if you are naturally shy or introverted then it is hard.

    I am changing my lifestyle to include 5K's, trail running .. anything to get me out of my comfort zone and doing the things I love. I am finding that my circle of friends is growing and to not focus on that part helps a lot (don't want to just settle because of loneliness) Also part of a great ministry & dry spells just seem to happen now and again -
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
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    Your 23 decent shape and to be honest go out and just enjoy I really did not get into a relationship (my wife now) until I was in my Late 20s just go out and enjoy life. Dont get me wrong I love my wife and kids but sometimes I wish I did not have that committment. Sometimes.
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    I would try Meetups.com/ You can find groups that share your interests like hiking, cooking, exercising...basically join a group and go out and have fun. That way you'll meet girls and might find someone you'd like to date through what you enjoy doing.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    and yet I haven't been on a date in 9 months.

    How many women have you actually asked out on a date in the last 9 months?

    You see, here's the thing. You're a good looking chap. You're possibly even better looking than I am (hard to imagine, I know.)

    I would wager if you asked 20 women "hey, let's go out for a drink tomorrow night" you would get at least a couple of dates without question. I think the real issue here is your emotional strength and your ability to handle rejection. Just as you need to work on weight loss sometimes you need to work on emotional ability.

    Don't be fooled by this "just wait" malarkey. Winners make their own luck. Take action. It's a beautiful thing...
  • daylily2005
    daylily2005 Posts: 203 Member
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    I do agree with the last post---go ask! Just because a girl might say no....don't take it personally. You don't know what's going on in her life either. Move on and ask another girl that you find interesting! :)
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    Hit on chicks at the gym. Preferably when they are in the middle of a heavy set of barbell squats.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    Hi,
    I can relate on some levels, but our stories are a bit different.
    I also started dating thru this weight loss journey, I agree the loss has given me alot of self confidence, self esteem, and just a new zest for life. Did this help me get my dates, nah, I met my boyfriend 8 months ago and I was 25 lbs heavier. But I quickly realized that my new body wasn't going to keep my boyfriend, I needed more. I have read relationship book, upon relationship book, upon relationship book. I needed to realize I had a great life and was happy WITHOUT someone. That a boyfriend, for me, was only a compliment to my already great life.

    I know this might not be it for you, but it was for me. I didn't know how to date - I had been with my ex for 9 years and realized I had always had needy relationships.

    I have alot to learn, but I have come along way. So not really the same, but I feel your pain.
    Friend me if you like.

    And I agree - when you are least looking for it, it can happen. The least I force anything, the least I 'care' the more I get from my current relationship. It seems SOOOO odd but it's true.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    :noway: You can't get a date??! Man, the women you're meeting must be blind and/or dumb, I know plenty of girls that would be queuing up to date you!!

    Chin up mate, it WILL happen....come back and let us know how it all goes! :wink:
  • jennifermaffei17
    jennifermaffei17 Posts: 158
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    You're soooo young. There is someone looking for you too but maybe she is still in her relationship and it hasn't ended? I believe in fate and sometimes you have to let it work its magic and be patient. Things fall into place more than you know.
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Visualize what you want often, and only in positive ways. Try affirmations. I've been feeling a million times better these past 2 weeks with affirmations than I have all summer. Stay positive, and try and find out what fears might be getting in your way. Then deal with them, or try to replace them with positive, opposite statements. Good luck!
  • arcticfox04
    arcticfox04 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Try some online like match or plentyoffish. Just try messaging around and see what works online. Never know you might find someone to have that cup of coffee with.

    That or act like a jerk.

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