I wonder why... MSG MUST BE INCLUDED?

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  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.

    But thats just me. :drinker:

    and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    I like to interact with people on my list, as much as I can. If someone sends a request, it's nice to know why.

    Even if it just says "hello".

    Plus if someone picks me at random, without reading my profile, they may be surprised at things that come out of my mouth at times. And I really don't want to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    It's polite.
    I decline anybody without a message. Because to be honest, I don't know where they came from or why they want to be my friend?

    Is it some random teen with an ED? Is it some Buffalo Bill female collector?
    I have no interest in a friendship of any of those types.

    couldn't it still be those types of people who crafted a good statement to be friends?
    Nope, not if they can't leave a message.
    I like to interact with my friends, a lot. I have a good amount. If I accepted everybody, I'd not be able to keep up.
    If you don't leave a message in the request, it's rude.
    It's commonly known people like messages in the requests.
    So I don't need to be friends with somebody who cannot leave a freaking simple message.

    then I am glad I left you one, because you do put up some cool topics... like your newest one.. haha
    And I hate that it seems rude, but when you've got a certain amount of friends...you have to weed them out somehow.

    When I saw your profile, because of how you word things, I bet you would have put it in a polite way. Funny how we interpret what we read.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    I thought this was a thread about mono sodium glutamate. I love the stuff. Millions of Asians can't be wrong.

    Me too.
    I love the stuff... I know some people get headaches from it, but dammit... it makes my meat taste tastier!


    I am someone who gets headaches from it. It took a LONG time to isolate the cause of weird come-and-go headaches. I haven't had a headache since I started label-checking for it, not even a sinus headache. (Though I think the sinus thing is also due to proper hydration.) I also get headaches from aspartame. :ohwell:
  • McBully4
    McBully4 Posts: 1,270 Member
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    It would be included in the things I have to see on a trip to new york, for sure.

    madison-square-garden.jpg
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
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    I don't ask for it, but I understand why people do. It is "polite" and gives people a better understanding off why they want your support.

    After awhile, friend's lists start to get longer, and then you have a bunch of random friends who never talk to you.
  • Krizzo87
    Krizzo87 Posts: 14,186 Member
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    Because I don't want spammy @$$holes, or trolls, or weirdos. At least send me a message as to why you feel like friending me. You don't just walk up to a stranger and start following them around. You engage in conversation, take a liking and start to be friends. Come on man, it's not hard to figure out. It's creepy when someone friends you, and then never comments or messages or writes or anything. You're like, WTF? I require all my friends are active. I delete people that don't chat or send messages once in a while. I also delete people that aren't healthy, either junk food people or those that have an ED. I want healthy happy active people on my FL. If that is offensive, then whateves.

    This! I am a very nice, down to earth person. I certainly don't think I'm God's gift of anything. I've accepted blank FR and they ended up being one or more things listed above..I won't DECLINE if there isn't a message. I would just appreciate one! :)
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    a message is like striking up a conversation with someone in a bar and getting to know them, then asking for their number to hang out sometime...

    no message is like walking up to a random group of people in a bar and just standing there like you are part of the group without saying anything...

    it's just weird...I want to know "how did you find me?"
    mutual friend? you liked something I posted? what?
  • sazzyp1973
    sazzyp1973 Posts: 517 Member
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    Because I want people who give and receive support and not friend collectors, which I have experienced and which is what caused me to add that to my profile.
  • Foxypoo61287
    Foxypoo61287 Posts: 638 Member
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    I like to know what drew them to me. If it was something I am passionate about, then I know I can have a conversation with them about it. If they think I am outrageously funny, then say it. What drew you to me?
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I'm the same as the OP. Don't care who wants to add me or why.... that's too much talking. FR, add or deny, move on. If they wanna say something, awesome.... if it's long, my ADD kicks in and I don't read all of it anyways.
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
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    Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.

    But thats just me. :drinker:

    and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question

    I just hope you dont get grilled for askin'. It wont be long before the snark and sarcastic ones pick up on this and then turn it into a huge conversation, more often than not veering off into another direction.
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
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    It's polite.
    I decline anybody without a message. Because to be honest, I don't know where they came from or why they want to be my friend?

    Is it some random teen with an ED? Is it some Buffalo Bill female collector?
    I have no interest in a friendship of any of those types.

    Exactly this-when I first started, I had people that just friended me and then found out they have an ED or only want support but won't return it or will ask for help, I'll help them then I don't even get a thanks. I want people that are here to really take advantage of the site, not just to check out my pictures...:grumble:

    I do usually send them a message asking why they're sending me something or if they saw something I had commented on before, if they have a picture. If they don't, then god only knows who they are and if they're even real lol It's not cause I'm trying to be mean or what have you, it's for my own sanity so I can reply to people that will use what I say rather than ask then do nothing-to each their own

    Edited cause I can't spell
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    a message is like striking up a conversation with someone in a bar and getting to know them, then asking for their number to hang out sometime...

    no message is like walking up to a random group of people in a bar and just standing there like you are part of the group without saying anything...

    it's just weird...I want to know "how did you find me?"
    mutual friend? you liked something I posted? what?

    I like this answer... Know what... I now will have more of an opened mind and not feel like those people, like I said, NOT everyone that posts it, are being rude...
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    I have it listed. And there are two reasons why. I figure if you're adding me, you found me somehow. Just tell me how you found me... Then there's guys who only have a TON of female "friends" who are all very thin/fit/hot/in very little clothing. I get those mostly when I have a bikini picture up. I'm not here to be added to your MFP 'harem,' sorry. Since completing several Jillian Michaels programs, I post on a lot of threads regarding said workouts. People tend to add me because they're excited to get results like mine. I don't think it's too much to ask of people to read my profile and include a short message in the request. I all ready have too many in my list to be able to keep up with everyone, honestly, and it helps me kinda weed things out a bit. Sorry if that offends you, but that's why *I* do it.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.

    But thats just me. :drinker:

    and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question

    I just hope you dont get grilled for askin'. It wont be long before the snark and sarcastic ones pick up on this and then turn it into a huge conversation, more often than not veering off into another direction.

    I know that there are "those" people out there, and to me I would handle it different than some.
  • Anna800
    Anna800 Posts: 637 Member
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    Mikey I totally agree with you! And that's why my profile says:
    I have to say I find it funny how people write on here to not add them without writing a personal message. Quite frankly it's not that deep for me, it's just a website, we're just cyber friends! lol


    Let's face it after a day you forget what the message even said. I'm not auditioning to be your bff, so why the screening email?

    I bet most of the time the person found you through the forums, it's not rocket science how they found you. Thought your post of picture was interesting, clicked on your profile and liked what they saw. Or maybe they saw you write on a mutual friends post. If they never post support on your updates, then you can delete them. But writing you an intro message does not mean they will be supportive later.

    What I think more useful to this site is for everyone to write something in their profile so I know a little about you, where you are on your weightloss journey, do we weigh about the same, etc.
  • reenielovesthebeach
    reenielovesthebeach Posts: 98
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    I am new here. I have to say that when I get/give a request, I try to check the profile out. The fact of the matter is that people will only tell you what they want you to know about them and they can post any picture so you cannot really tell by looking at a picture or words how somebody may or may not be. I usually add most. I will then make decisions based on if they inspire me, motivate me or are a downer to my ultimate goal- which is to lose 45 more pounds and be healthy. I'm not here to date. I have a wonderful husband who is also trying to lose close to the same amount that I am and we do work out together.

    I'm not saying I won't flirt a bit, but it stops there. Everyone flirts and likes to made to feel successful, wanted and appreciated- it's all part of human nature. The soul needs that- young and old alike. I may eventually delete people. It's nothing personal. I just don't have time to comment on everyone and make conversations with them so why make the committment to fifty people when I only have time to actually correspond to ten. I'm just looking to encourage everyone, receive encouragement and to be positive in my quest for a healthy lifestyle. Some are here for a common goal and some are here to meet a partner/date. Not me...My personality is that I would rather have a few trustworthy, quality, upbeat people than fifty that I can't offer anything to because I'm over-extended. If you are a positive person, are looking for a friend and we can share ideas- by all means add me. I hope everyone out there has a WONDERFUL SUCCESSFUL day!

    BTW- keep adding before and after pics...I love them! It helps me tremendously! My aim is to lose 45 pounds by Christmas. I have lost 17 already. YIPPIE! I don't always have time to send a message with a request so please don't mistake that for rude. I will get around to it. I try to take at least a half hour a couple times per week to encourage people and send them compliments. Promise...
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    I have it listed. And there are two reasons why. I figure if you're adding me, you found me somehow. Just tell me how you found me... They guys who only have a TON of female "friends" who are all thin/fit/hot/in very little clothing. I get those mostly when I have a bikini picture up. I'm not here to be added to your MFP 'harem,' sorry. Since completing several Jillian Michaels programs, I post on a lot of threads regarding said workouts. People tend to add me because they're excited to get results like mine. I don't think it's too much to ask of people to read my profile and include a short message in the request. I all ready have too many in my list to be able to keep up with everyone, honestly, and it helps me kinda weed things out a bit. Sorry if that offends you, but that's why *I* do it.

    To be honest, I only added 3 people on my friends list and I conversated with them before even friending them. If I were to add people, I would automatically add a comment, CAUSE I know it's polite too..:drinker: :sick: (I think I had too much to drink...)
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
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    Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.

    But thats just me. :drinker:

    and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question

    I just hope you dont get grilled for askin'. It wont be long before the snark and sarcastic ones pick up on this and then turn it into a huge conversation, more often than not veering off into another direction.

    I know that there are "those" people out there, and to me I would handle it different than some.

    ah, so you welcome the challenge.

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