I wonder why... MSG MUST BE INCLUDED?
Replies
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I'm the same as the OP. Don't care who wants to add me or why.... that's too much talking. FR, add or deny, move on. If they wanna say something, awesome.... if it's long, my ADD kicks in and I don't read all of it anyways.0
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Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.
But thats just me. :drinker:
and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question
I just hope you dont get grilled for askin'. It wont be long before the snark and sarcastic ones pick up on this and then turn it into a huge conversation, more often than not veering off into another direction.0 -
It's polite.
I decline anybody without a message. Because to be honest, I don't know where they came from or why they want to be my friend?
Is it some random teen with an ED? Is it some Buffalo Bill female collector?
I have no interest in a friendship of any of those types.
Exactly this-when I first started, I had people that just friended me and then found out they have an ED or only want support but won't return it or will ask for help, I'll help them then I don't even get a thanks. I want people that are here to really take advantage of the site, not just to check out my pictures...:grumble:
I do usually send them a message asking why they're sending me something or if they saw something I had commented on before, if they have a picture. If they don't, then god only knows who they are and if they're even real lol It's not cause I'm trying to be mean or what have you, it's for my own sanity so I can reply to people that will use what I say rather than ask then do nothing-to each their own
Edited cause I can't spell0 -
a message is like striking up a conversation with someone in a bar and getting to know them, then asking for their number to hang out sometime...
no message is like walking up to a random group of people in a bar and just standing there like you are part of the group without saying anything...
it's just weird...I want to know "how did you find me?"
mutual friend? you liked something I posted? what?
I like this answer... Know what... I now will have more of an opened mind and not feel like those people, like I said, NOT everyone that posts it, are being rude...0 -
I have it listed. And there are two reasons why. I figure if you're adding me, you found me somehow. Just tell me how you found me... Then there's guys who only have a TON of female "friends" who are all very thin/fit/hot/in very little clothing. I get those mostly when I have a bikini picture up. I'm not here to be added to your MFP 'harem,' sorry. Since completing several Jillian Michaels programs, I post on a lot of threads regarding said workouts. People tend to add me because they're excited to get results like mine. I don't think it's too much to ask of people to read my profile and include a short message in the request. I all ready have too many in my list to be able to keep up with everyone, honestly, and it helps me kinda weed things out a bit. Sorry if that offends you, but that's why *I* do it.0
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Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.
But thats just me. :drinker:
and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question
I just hope you dont get grilled for askin'. It wont be long before the snark and sarcastic ones pick up on this and then turn it into a huge conversation, more often than not veering off into another direction.
I know that there are "those" people out there, and to me I would handle it different than some.0 -
Mikey I totally agree with you! And that's why my profile says:
I have to say I find it funny how people write on here to not add them without writing a personal message. Quite frankly it's not that deep for me, it's just a website, we're just cyber friends! lol
Let's face it after a day you forget what the message even said. I'm not auditioning to be your bff, so why the screening email?
I bet most of the time the person found you through the forums, it's not rocket science how they found you. Thought your post of picture was interesting, clicked on your profile and liked what they saw. Or maybe they saw you write on a mutual friends post. If they never post support on your updates, then you can delete them. But writing you an intro message does not mean they will be supportive later.
What I think more useful to this site is for everyone to write something in their profile so I know a little about you, where you are on your weightloss journey, do we weigh about the same, etc.0 -
I am new here. I have to say that when I get/give a request, I try to check the profile out. The fact of the matter is that people will only tell you what they want you to know about them and they can post any picture so you cannot really tell by looking at a picture or words how somebody may or may not be. I usually add most. I will then make decisions based on if they inspire me, motivate me or are a downer to my ultimate goal- which is to lose 45 more pounds and be healthy. I'm not here to date. I have a wonderful husband who is also trying to lose close to the same amount that I am and we do work out together.
I'm not saying I won't flirt a bit, but it stops there. Everyone flirts and likes to made to feel successful, wanted and appreciated- it's all part of human nature. The soul needs that- young and old alike. I may eventually delete people. It's nothing personal. I just don't have time to comment on everyone and make conversations with them so why make the committment to fifty people when I only have time to actually correspond to ten. I'm just looking to encourage everyone, receive encouragement and to be positive in my quest for a healthy lifestyle. Some are here for a common goal and some are here to meet a partner/date. Not me...My personality is that I would rather have a few trustworthy, quality, upbeat people than fifty that I can't offer anything to because I'm over-extended. If you are a positive person, are looking for a friend and we can share ideas- by all means add me. I hope everyone out there has a WONDERFUL SUCCESSFUL day!
BTW- keep adding before and after pics...I love them! It helps me tremendously! My aim is to lose 45 pounds by Christmas. I have lost 17 already. YIPPIE! I don't always have time to send a message with a request so please don't mistake that for rude. I will get around to it. I try to take at least a half hour a couple times per week to encourage people and send them compliments. Promise...0 -
I have it listed. And there are two reasons why. I figure if you're adding me, you found me somehow. Just tell me how you found me... They guys who only have a TON of female "friends" who are all thin/fit/hot/in very little clothing. I get those mostly when I have a bikini picture up. I'm not here to be added to your MFP 'harem,' sorry. Since completing several Jillian Michaels programs, I post on a lot of threads regarding said workouts. People tend to add me because they're excited to get results like mine. I don't think it's too much to ask of people to read my profile and include a short message in the request. I all ready have too many in my list to be able to keep up with everyone, honestly, and it helps me kinda weed things out a bit. Sorry if that offends you, but that's why *I* do it.
To be honest, I only added 3 people on my friends list and I conversated with them before even friending them. If I were to add people, I would automatically add a comment, CAUSE I know it's polite too..:drinker: :sick: (I think I had too much to drink...)0 -
Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.
But thats just me. :drinker:
and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question
I just hope you dont get grilled for askin'. It wont be long before the snark and sarcastic ones pick up on this and then turn it into a huge conversation, more often than not veering off into another direction.
I know that there are "those" people out there, and to me I would handle it different than some.
ah, so you welcome the challenge.0 -
Mikey I totally agree with you! And that's why my profile says:
I have to say I find it funny how people write on here to not add them without writing a personal message. Quite frankly it's not that deep for me, it's just a website, we're just cyber friends! lol
Let's face it after a day you forget what the message even said. I'm not auditioning to be your bff, so why the screening email?
I bet most of the time the person found you through the forums, it's not rocket science how they found you. Thought your post of picture was interesting, clicked on your profile and liked what they saw. Or maybe they saw you write on a mutual friends post. If they never post support on your updates, then you can delete them. But writing you an intro message does not mean they will be supportive later.
What I think more useful to this site is for everyone to write something in their profile so I know a little about you, where you are on your weightloss journey, do we weigh about the same, etc.
Will. You. Friend. Me. (msg not needed):happy:0 -
Well, I ask people to leave a message so that I can engage in some kind of common interest chat with them. When they send a blank FR I go to their profile and glance over it. More often than not I'll accept. I've never declined. If they leave no message, I'm kinda given the task to iniate in coversation and ask "hey buddy, where did you see my profile and why did you add me?" or something like that. Just to know if we share the same common interests. I dont automatically decline people, in fact some of the most awesome people on my friends list sent no message. If I declined them, I would have no idea how funny or awesome they are.
But thats just me. :drinker:
and thats how I feel... that's why I asked.. I am not judging anyone, just a curious question
I just hope you dont get grilled for askin'. It wont be long before the snark and sarcastic ones pick up on this and then turn it into a huge conversation, more often than not veering off into another direction.
I know that there are "those" people out there, and to me I would handle it different than some.
ah, so you welcome the challenge.
ohh nooooooooooooooooooooooo:noway: :sad:0 -
i dont feel the need to sell my MFP friendship, its free and you can cancel anytime. More likely than not i added you because i liked what you said in a thread, you have a similar goal or find you attractive, if you're male assume the first two lol0
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I have it listed. And there are two reasons why. I figure if you're adding me, you found me somehow. Just tell me how you found me... They guys who only have a TON of female "friends" who are all thin/fit/hot/in very little clothing. I get those mostly when I have a bikini picture up. I'm not here to be added to your MFP 'harem,' sorry. Since completing several Jillian Michaels programs, I post on a lot of threads regarding said workouts. People tend to add me because they're excited to get results like mine. I don't think it's too much to ask of people to read my profile and include a short message in the request. I all ready have too many in my list to be able to keep up with everyone, honestly, and it helps me kinda weed things out a bit. Sorry if that offends you, but that's why *I* do it.
To be honest, I only added 3 people on my friends list and I conversated with them before even friending them. If I were to add people, I would automatically add a comment, CAUSE I know it's polite too..:drinker: :sick: (I think I had too much to drink...)
Hehehe Cheers! :drinker:
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thanks for everyone's input. I like alot of the random ying-yang answers and it sums it up. I agree with reenie... there are many liars on here, and I take the site for what it's worth, just like Darkskinned said. I just think a FIRST AND FORMOST! NO COMMENT= DECLINE! is 100% not necessary, it's already written in the "unwritten rules".0
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I consider it the first spelling, grammar and homonyms test of a potential candidate for being my MFP friend. It's just easier to cut some people off at the beginning instead of potentially hurting their feelings when I drop them shortly after adding them. I don't demand perfection, but there is a certain minimum level required to be on my FL.0
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I have it on mine because I want to know why you're asking to be my friend. If I have no idea who you are why should I accept? I'm not a "friend collector". Also there are plenty of FR's that I get where 1) I don't know who you are and 2) your profile is private so I can't even see if you're a friend of a friend or anything for that matter.
If I'm not going to accept a friend request from someone I don't know on FB why should MFP be any different?0 -
I am new here. I have to say that when I get/give a request, I try to check the profile out. The fact of the matter is that people will only tell you what they want you to know about them and they can post any picture so you cannot really tell by looking at a picture or words how somebody may or may not be. I usually add most. I will then make decisions based on if they inspire me, motivate me or are a downer to my ultimate goal- which is to lose 45 more pounds and be healthy.
ITA I delete any debbie downers.0 -
It's polite.
I decline anybody without a message. Because to be honest, I don't know where they came from or why they want to be my friend?
Is it some random teen with an ED? Is it some Buffalo Bill female collector?
I have no interest in a friendship of any of those types.
Have you ever thought maybe that teen with ED is reaching out to you for help?? SO I think its kinda mean to include that one in there. as far as the female collector totally agree..0 -
Look, if you want to have low standards, feel free. If you're so presumptuous or lazy that you think I should automatically accept a request from someone I don't even know, well, I don't want to be your friend.whew... anyway.. whoever wants to be my friend, I require nothing, nothing at all :drinker: There is no prerequisite to post on my wall or to explain yourself..
And how many times have you gotten a blank friend request in real life? Someone just walks up to you and says HI WE'RE FRIENDS NOW.I never heard anyone in real life say, "hey can we be friends because...." it just happens... I dunno..0 -
You know, there was a time when I freinded those users. And sadly I tried to help and could not. I care and worry way too much about people to care about somebody who quite frankly doesn't care about themselves.It's polite.
I decline anybody without a message. Because to be honest, I don't know where they came from or why they want to be my friend?
Is it some random teen with an ED? Is it some Buffalo Bill female collector?
I have no interest in a friendship of any of those types.
Have you ever thought maybe that teen with ED is reaching out to you for help?? SO I think its kinda mean to include that one in there. as far as the female collector totally agree..0 -
It's polite.
I decline anybody without a message. Because to be honest, I don't know where they came from or why they want to be my friend?
Is it some random teen with an ED? Is it some Buffalo Bill female collector?
I have no interest in a friendship of any of those types.
Have you ever thought maybe that teen with ED is reaching out to you for help?? SO I think its kinda mean to include that one in there. as far as the female collector totally agree..
Hey missy, where was YOUR message? hmm hmmm?:laugh: :drinker:0 -
Look, if you want to have low standards, feel free. If you're so presumptuous or lazy that you think I should automatically accept a request from someone I don't even know, well, I don't want to be your friend.whew... anyway.. whoever wants to be my friend, I require nothing, nothing at all :drinker: There is no prerequisite to post on my wall or to explain yourself..
And how many times have you gotten a blank friend request in real life? Someone just walks up to you and says HI WE'RE FRIENDS NOW.I never heard anyone in real life say, "hey can we be friends because...." it just happens... I dunno..
do you need a hug... I think you need a hug. :ohwell:0 -
I don't require that, but most of my friends at least send a message, even if it is "you're hot, or I like your pic" at least they are honest and get an add. I have added people with no messages in the past and they ended up being a stalker, and creepy. Not required for me but appreciated0
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Look, if you want to have low standards, feel free. If you're so presumptuous or lazy that you think I should automatically accept a request from someone I don't even know, well, I don't want to be your friend.whew... anyway.. whoever wants to be my friend, I require nothing, nothing at all :drinker: There is no prerequisite to post on my wall or to explain yourself..
And how many times have you gotten a blank friend request in real life? Someone just walks up to you and says HI WE'RE FRIENDS NOW.I never heard anyone in real life say, "hey can we be friends because...." it just happens... I dunno..
do you need a hug... I think you need a hug. :ohwell:
Nah, she probably just needs a few hundred random MFP "friends".
That seems to make everything better.0 -
I like messages from the guys that have 56 female friends and haven't lost a pound.
Hey, everybody needs a pick me up, even if they smell their hands afterwards.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't put it in my profile. I just "hit" deny more often than not. Cause I reserve the right to do whatever the *kitten* I want with my MFP user experience.0
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It's pretty simple... It's my choice to put that if I so desire. I want to keep my friends list small and manageable so I can be as supportive as possible and remain able to communicate with everyone. If I get a request without a message I am generally going to know nothing about you including whether or not you will even stay dedicated here and/or communitcate with me, post on my status updates, etc.
It certainly has NOTHING to do with some celebrity status whatsoever! In fact, the majority of my friends here have this on their own profile as well.0 -
From my experience, those who friend request me without a message never interact with me, so I don't add them. But I'm not gonna specify that in my profile since it sounds kind of snobby. Although I suppose I'm still being a snob.0
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Having standards does not make you a snob.
Having pride does not make you a snob.
I will never apologize for being amazing.0
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