Inappropriate work attire...*shudder*
Replies
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It's threads like this that make me feel like I'm wound a lot less tightly than I sometimes think.
Thanks for making us type-a controlling people look a bit more normal.
*sheesh*0 -
I would advise you to do....nothing.
THIS!
Why don't you worry about yourself and keep your opinions to yourself. You may have a conservative approach to life but if no one else is discussing this with her then clearly the office has an accepted liberal approach and YOU are the outcast.0 -
I'm the only woman in an office of men but we've had a woman coming around as a guest-employee recently. She doesn't dress terribly but she always wears rubber flip flops and it drives me bonkers. Thong sandals are great for the beach or other casual settings, but not at the office. And she also will kick them off and walk around the office barefoot. Wtf.
I mean, it's gross. But I'm not going to tattle on her because then I become the office snitch. If it's that big of a problem HR will probably notice and take care of it, KWIM? Also I'm kind of a terrible person in that if someone is going to make an *kitten* of themselves at the office - who am I to stop them. Let them look like a dill hole. Looks bad on them, not you.
Barefoot???!! Ew! Either someone will notice it and point out that shoes are generally a good idea or she will step on a staple or something....
I'd wear fluffy pajamas and slippers in the office if I could get away with it.
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So...there's a lady at work...she annoys me a little in the first place, but she's nice enough.
She's 50ish...probalby mid 50's. She (twice now) wears this sweater...it is low cut, first of all...and has a VERY open weave pattern at the top.
I do not want to seem mean...but honestly the sweater is borderline inappropriate. It shows off a large amount of cleavage...and then the weave pattern...I mean I can see what color bra she has on. And I do mean it reveals the entire bra...you can see more than I think is appropriate ouside the home let alone at the work place.
Anyone else get in this situation?I feel like I can't look in that direction...it's so awkward.
*edited because...:I should preface that this is a medical environment...not casual...even if it was....*
PS: not looking for advice on what to do about it...more seeing if anyone else has been in a simliar situation. THanks.
You started by saying that she already annoys you so it sounds like you are just looking for something to b!tch about with her.
Why does her age matter? Would you not feel awkward if she was a smoking hot 25 year old with great cleavage? Would that be okay?
Based on your account of what the sweater looks like I'd say you've looked "in that direction" quite a number of times.
Sounds to me like you have nothing better to do than judge other people. Stop gawking and get back to work.0 -
Cop a feel?0
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It's threads like this that make me feel like I'm wound a lot less tightly than I sometimes think.
Thanks for making us type-a controlling people look a bit more normal.
*sheesh*
Agreed. But this is really a political argument over morals and decency than it is about the productivity of the workplace so whether this woman is fully clothed head to toe or naked it sounds like the business would still thrive and it only bothers the OP.0 -
My advice?
1. Don't look.
2. Be very, very careful. I have a coworker who tells me I dress like a hooker. It makes for a very uncomfortable work environment. My clothing choices are not her business but, more important, I do not dress like a hooker.
We both work in the office of the chairman of surgery. She comes in wearing khaki pants and shapeless, blinged out t-shirts with canvas shoes from k-mart. Some days she switches it up and wears Crocs.
I come in wearing skorts and a tank top. Over that I layer a button up shirt or a cardigan sweater. Sometimes both. If the weather is cooler, I add tights. Unfortunately, I often wear running shoes due to tendon surgery on my ankle.
Now, I confess my boobs are quite large. I do not flash cleavage but I also do not try to hide them under shapeless clothes. (Shapeless clothes make me look fatter!) My skorts go halfway down my thigh so my *kitten* is covered. I'm not sure where she see my clothes as hooker-ish. Or who she is to talk since she looks like a factory worker rather than a professional office worker.
To each their own. Don't get involved. Leave it up to bosses or HR to make a decision.0 -
As a manager, who has the joy of having to remind the office every summer of what is appropriate in our office (which amazingly does not always seem to get through to people!)... I actually think it important to either casually pull her aside and mention it or let her manager know.
It's not about policing whether or not their fashion choices are good or not, it's about appropriate attire. Being able to fully see someone's bra through their sweater is not appropriate, unless you work in a bar, club or other type of environment.0 -
Casually comment that you couldn't help noticing her bra and ask here where she got it.0
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Marry me, please.So...there's a lady at work...she annoys me a little in the first place, but she's nice enough.
She's 50ish...probalby mid 50's. She (twice now) wears this sweater...it is low cut, first of all...and has a VERY open weave pattern at the top.
I do not want to seem mean...but honestly the sweater is borderline inappropriate. It shows off a large amount of cleavage...and then the weave pattern...I mean I can see what color bra she has on. And I do mean it reveals the entire bra...you can see more than I think is appropriate ouside the home let alone at the work place.
Anyone else get in this situation?I feel like I can't look in that direction...it's so awkward.
*edited because...:I should preface that this is a medical environment...not casual...even if it was....*
PS: not looking for advice on what to do about it...more seeing if anyone else has been in a simliar situation. THanks.
You started by saying that she already annoys you so it sounds like you are just looking for something to ***** about with her.
Why does her age matter? Would you not feel awkward if she was a smoking hot 25 year old with great cleavage? Would that be okay?
Based on your account of what the sweater looks like I'd say you've looked "in that direction" quite a number of times.
Sounds to me like you have nothing better to do than judge other people. Stop gawking and get back to work.0 -
Don't worry, OP. Big boobs distract me all the time, too.
I get distracted by my own.0 -
I am more upset that I can't dress down more. My boss is a work-dress and high heels kind of person. We are the only 2 employees in a quiet office. I don't feel the need to dress up everyday when I rarely see a soul, and if I do, they're Realtors and they are usually wearing jeans with cute tops and accessories. I have no issue dressing up for monthly board meetings but the other 29 days a month I wish I could wear jeans and nice tops and shoes.
I'm right there with ya! My last boss was a tool. He kindly informed me one day that he thought women should wear full pantyhose every day. Didn't care whether we wore dresses or jeans, but we should wear full pantyhose every day. I wasn't sure what to say, so I told him, "Okay. I will if you will."0 -
You know, she probably doesnt realize how bad it is. I would take a deep breath and get on with your day. If this is what you come home and think about you've got it pretty good.
I am a woman with a sizeable amount of boobage and its this double edged sword. crew necks look terrible and boxy, anything slightly lower that doesnt make me look like a burly man could be considered too low.
I don't think you'll die.0 -
I hope someone doesn't call HR about me today :noway: my pants are now too big so if I'm not careful they might fall off0
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Hope to be in H/R in the future and if it's not this bad
I don't want to hear about it!0 -
I have a coworker who constantly wears pants/shirts with holes in them, specifically a pair of khakis with a huge (by huge i mean at least 2 1/2" in diameter) hole right on the butt cheek. he also wears suspenders and half the time hooks one side to his underwear. in the summer he wears "mandals" and he has really gross stinky feet. i KNOW our boss has seen it but I don't know if she's made any comments to him. I'm sure as hell not going to be the rat because then everyone will know I looked at this guy's butt. believe me, he's nothing special to look at, and is most likely twice my weight (all I see him eat is Dunkin Donuts).
i know i don't dress the best in my black band t-shirts, jeans, and black sneakers, but at least I'm not walking around the office in hole-riddled clothes showing everyone what underwear I've got on that day. that's disgusting.0 -
Human Resources - Because there are grown adults who still feel the need to run to mommy and daddy when they don't like something.
*High Five*
*and an *kitten* grab for good measure*
what?
Hero's sexual harassment is being reported to HR.0 -
As a manager, who has the joy of having to remind the office every summer of what is appropriate in our office (which amazingly does not always seem to get through to people!)... I actually think it important to either casually pull her aside and mention it or let her manager know.
It's not about policing whether or not their fashion choices are good or not, it's about appropriate attire. Being able to fully see someone's bra through their sweater is not appropriate, unless you work in a bar, club or other type of environment.
She is not the woman's manager though, she should mind her own business or get a life, whichever comes first. I am a manager too, I pull my people aside sometimes cause I have to, I would not do it if I didnt have to0 -
I don't have that problem at work because I am a cop and it is hard to show cleavage in a bullet proof vest haha!
BUT when I go to traffic court I can not believe the way some of these people come to talk to a judge! Its like scrolling through "People of Walmart" webpage! Some women have tons of cleavage thinking the judge is going to give them a break...joke is on them because a lot of our judges are women and make them leave and go change. Also people just wearing dirty clothes or stuff that i think is just disrespectful to approach a judge in.
Then again some of us are raised with different standards.0 -
I'm the only woman in an office of men but we've had a woman coming around as a guest-employee recently. She doesn't dress terribly but she always wears rubber flip flops and it drives me bonkers. Thong sandals are great for the beach or other casual settings, but not at the office. And she also will kick them off and walk around the office barefoot. Wtf.
I mean, it's gross. But I'm not going to tattle on her because then I become the office snitch. If it's that big of a problem HR will probably notice and take care of it, KWIM? Also I'm kind of a terrible person in that if someone is going to make an *kitten* of themselves at the office - who am I to stop them. Let them look like a dill hole. Looks bad on them, not you.
Barefoot???!! Ew! Either someone will notice it and point out that shoes are generally a good idea or she will step on a staple or something....
I'd wear fluffy pajamas and slippers in the office if I could get away with it.
I am all for fluffy slippers and pajamas at work! I would be SO MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE if I could be that comfy! Just as long as nobody is barefoot and people are at least somewhat dressed...it's all good!0 -
I am 55 years old. When I was 'younger' and working, no one needed a dress code. Everyone dressed appropriately because, well, you were pulled aside and instructed on how to dress or canned if you didn't dress appropriately.
Now, in these 'politically correct' days, people don't mention anything to those who dress inappropriately. Why not?
I have a theory that it is because people think that even though the attire is inappropriate, it may be accepted for that age, race, ethnicity, etc. Thus, to address it would be politically incorrect.
Personally, if I were in your situation, I would just ignore it. Maybe even chuckle a little under my breath about it. Don't make her problem yours.
There is a women who works in my building that is in her 40s. She dresses like a teeny-bopper. The problem is that she is quite heavy and mini-skirts don't look good on her. Couple those skirts with high boots, and, well, she looks like she is going to stand on a corner somewhere soliciting men.
One day I was walking a ways behind her down the hallway. She dropped something and went to bend over to pick it up. She realized that she couldn't pick it up, though, either by bending over or stooping, without showing a bit of caboose. I was half tempted to offer to pick it up, but waited to see what would happen. (me bad) Sure enough, she bent over and her whole caboose was exposed. Thankfully she had on underwear. When she came up, she looked around and realized that I had seen everything. For some reason, she never wore that skirt again - at least not at the office.
Moral of the story is this: Let the woman wear whatever she wants. Eventually she will have an accidental exposure or she will be spoken to by someone higher up. If you mention it to her or to the boss, you are sure to be working with an angry person for at least a month.0 -
Not trying to one up ya.. but I had a cube neighbor once who was a cat horder. I'll gladly take some older lady boobs in my face than to ever have to deal with the smell that hit you once this lady stepped off the elevator. Regardless of the number of times she would shower the smell was in her clothes, hair and in her skin. She was put on several warnings, because some people in the office would physically get sick when she came in.0
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I'm the only woman in an office of men but we've had a woman coming around as a guest-employee recently. She doesn't dress terribly but she always wears rubber flip flops and it drives me bonkers. Thong sandals are great for the beach or other casual settings, but not at the office. And she also will kick them off and walk around the office barefoot. Wtf.
I mean, it's gross. But I'm not going to tattle on her because then I become the office snitch. If it's that big of a problem HR will probably notice and take care of it, KWIM? Also I'm kind of a terrible person in that if someone is going to make an *kitten* of themselves at the office - who am I to stop them. Let them look like a dill hole. Looks bad on them, not you.
I wear flip flops in my office, but only because other people (including my boss) do. I also kick them off sometimes, but only when sitting at my desk where no one will notice. I guess I have some hippie tendencies...
Also, about 7 years ago when I was doing a temp job, without noticing I wore a shirt which apparently showed my bra a little bit. I was asked not to wear it again. It was very embarrassing, but I'm glad they told me0 -
There is a way to look beautiful and sexy sophisticated without looking trashy. This seems borderline trashy. And I don't think there is an easy way to confront her about it. But if it really bothers you, I would def take it to HR. You have a right to feel comfortable in the workplace.0
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As a 53 year old conservative accountant, i have no clue where to draw the line between what is socially acceptable in the office environment anymore...i do know that i get made fun of because i wont wear open toe shoes or anything sleeveless... Heck, i wont even wear bare legs! I do wear dressy black and khaki jeans with conservatve tops. Oh, and ballet flats! No six inch heels for me!
Here's how I see it...dress how you want for your career choice and take a lesson or two in dressing for successs. Worry about yourself or if some one asks you for advice in your work place.
But the best advice i got was to dress conservatively for the office setting and when in doubt, dress like you would expect the next level up to dress...0 -
There is nothing more annoying then getting pulled into your boss' office and getting told that your attire is "inappropriate" and that "someone was offended by what you were wearing".
If it bothers you that much say something to HER not HR. Seriously. HR has better things to do then to get involved in a wardrobe issue.0 -
I am 55 years old. When I was 'younger' and working, no one needed a dress code. Everyone dressed appropriately because, well, you were pulled aside and instructed on how to dress or canned if you didn't dress appropriately.
Now, in these 'politically correct' days, people don't mention anything to those who dress inappropriately. Why not?
I have a theory that it is because people think that even though the attire is inappropriate, it may be accepted for that age, race, ethnicity, etc. Thus, to address it would be politically incorrect.
Personally, if I were in your situation, I would just ignore it. Maybe even chuckle a little under my breath about it. Don't make her problem yours.
There is a women who works in my building that is in her 40s. She dresses like a teeny-bopper. The problem is that she is quite heavy and mini-skirts don't look good on her. Couple those skirts with high boots, and, well, she looks like she is going to stand on a corner somewhere soliciting men.
One day I was walking a ways behind her down the hallway. She dropped something and went to bend over to pick it up. She realized that she couldn't pick it up, though, either by bending over or stooping, without showing a bit of caboose. I was half tempted to offer to pick it up, but waited to see what would happen. (me bad) Sure enough, she bent over and her whole caboose was exposed. Thankfully she had on underwear. When she came up, she looked around and realized that I had seen everything. For some reason, she never wore that skirt again - at least not at the office.
Moral of the story is this: Let the woman wear whatever she wants. Eventually she will have an accidental exposure or she will be spoken to by someone higher up. If you mention it to her or to the boss, you are sure to be working with an angry person for at least a month.
You just wanted to see her butt. C'mon. Admit it.0 -
... Anyone else get in this situation?I feel like I can't look in that direction...it's so awkward...
I've been there. There was this woman who used to wear animal prints all the time. Cheetah, tiger, leopard, etc. The only time she came close to getting it right was when she wore zebra. I'm guessing the store she shopped at was out of hippo.0 -
I'm guilty of slipping my shoes off... but I'm seriously considering buying some slippers for working at my desk. I'm pretty much hidden from the world, but I still try to dress nice for the most part, just in case someone randomly decides to stop by and ask if I'm in and if they can meet me. In my career and my specialty, we seem like mythical creatures that can never be spotted, so colleagues are constantly asking if I'm in the office and if they can see me. It's a little daunting... but I've learned to dress to impress for that reason. Most days, anyway.0
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LOL, I had to check to see if you were someone that works with me.
There is a 50ish woman in my office who does the same thing!! Get a camisole on under that thing for petes sake!!! Total visible bra, plain as day....honestly!!! I as SOOOOO close to saying something yesterday but I figured it wasn't my place.
^^^ it's NOT! Hey that's what managers and HR IS for! Unless you are in management or own the frickin joint you opinion means..who can i put this delicately...(i cant )NOTHING!0
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