Don't Judge but 30/M going from 1200 to 1500 - Nervous

Juliejustsaying

Don't worry, you wont gain fat back while in a calorie deficit still Law of thermodynamics!

As for the grains, if you are gluten intolerant then don't eat them! Do you like peanut butter? 3 tablespoons of that and you are up 300 calories

and it is cost effective.

EccentricDad

I think you will also be fine at 1500 calories a day. I am a 5'4 female 155lbs and eat 1800 + per and lose. If you are scared about gaining just take it slow and realize that upping your calories will take about 6 weeks to show real results so I wouldn't get discourage and give up if you see an initial gain. Like previous posters said you are in control if you become uncomfortable you can lower it again. Also, kudos to you for being a stay at home dad. I don't think that affects your "man card" at all good luck!

Thanks for the support, it's just so scary to do it. I have ADHD (which just means poor self control issues) so to increase food intake, I'm nervous that I might lose control and ruin 5.5 months of great work. And thank you for your compliment, I see a lot of people see it as a good thing; I wish people were as kind to my working wife. She gets harassed for being the woman supporting the man; but if they knew how bad-*kitten* I was at home, they would want a SAHD too

SPNLuver83

you will see a slight gain in the scale at first. THIS IS NOT FAT. it is your body adjusting. It will take several weeks for it to adjust, as I am sure your metabolism as slowed down on such low calories. Be patient, give it time, and don't let the scale freak you out. Infact I suggest avoiding it all together for awhile.

check out the video "eat more to weigh less" on this youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/jaymebales83

SPNLuver83

I have to question your weight goal.... 135 or even 145 that I read in a later reply... that sounds awfully low. I am female in my 40's, 5'4",weigh 145 and a size 10. A man of your height and that weight seems like you should be fine where you are. I am all for being healthy not skinny.

Technically, I could stop where I am at and start weight training, but I want to be in the middle of the Body Mass Index scale of "healthy" instead of on the far side close to "overweight" so this is a personal choice of mine.

FYI the BMI chart is a really outdated way to determine your healthy weight. it was created by an insurance company for rates. it does not take into account your lean muscle mass.

boonognog

Also wanted to add, you don't really need a HRM in my opinion if you're not planning on outrageous exercises like marathons or heavy duty stuff (or you have some kind of heart condition). You can tell when you have reached your optimum heart rate. It will be slightly more than 2 beats per second, and you'll be sweating.

I never was athletic in the least bit growing up or even as an adult, so I think I have a grasp of what you're going through. The fear to even get engaged with this kind of stuff is crazy but all too real... :P

There was something else I wanted to say, but I've had a long day and it escapes me at the moment... LOL

EccentricDad

I'm 5'9 and 135 is my goal as a female. I feel like 135 is low for a male, extremely low, border line unhealthy low. I would reconsider your real reasons behind having a goal that low. You may even consider talking to a nutritionist. Please be aware that your body needs an adequate amount of fats and carbs for healthy brain function and performace. Sometimes people are so afraid of becoming overweight again that they obsess over calories and pounds, even deprving themselves out of fear long after they have acheived their goal weight. Please be healthy with your dieting. The goal should always be healthy first before skinny.

Thank you for your concern. I've scaled it from 135 to 141 and I'm considering 145. I just don't know what would be healthy for me. All I know is I still have a pouch in the front so that must mean I'm not quite there yet. I'm going to try 1500 and see what happens from there. I am a bean pole with very little muscle, and when I was in football I didn't "develop" like the other guys did (probably because of my Celiac like gluten intolerance and malnutrition) but I will consider what you said. I will probably feel great at the 1500 calories and I will probably jump to 2000 where most men are; but it will take higher activity to make it work and not gain weight. Thanks again for answering my question.

healthychanges1

As others have said, there are relatively cheap ways to add calories which are not gluten based. Nuts and nut butters are perfect for that sort of thing. Check out the flyers from your local grocery stores to see if anything is on sale that you think would be a good addition to your diet. As for when to eat is really just a personal preference. To me, I don't like eating large amounts of food at a time because it can get overwhelming so a fourth meal would be ideal. It could be more convenient just to add on to your current meals though. Try both and see how you feel. Weight loss is all trial and error, you have to find what works for YOU not everyone else. Even though it may be emotionally difficult to up your calories, you know it is the best thing for you to do right now so stick with it! Remember, it is impossible to gain fat on a calorie deficit, and any increase in weight is most likely water retention of some sort.

As for your goal weight being too low: just make sure you look/stay healthy. Although it seems to me you are at an ideal weight now, some people are meant to be lighter than others. (just saying, I have the same goal weight and I am a 5'7 female, who already looks "thin" at 147lbs) Be mindful of how thin you are really getting, and try not to get too caught up with the numbers.

I totally understand how it can be difficult to find time to exercise! Since school started, my exercise routine has pretty much stopped unfortunately. Ideally you should try to find some extra time (I know, easier said than done), but as long as you are eating well the lack of exercise won't cause weight gain.

I think it's great you are a stay at home dad! My dad works far too much and I'm jealous of my friends whose dads are always there for them.

Congratulations on your loss and good luck continuing!

EccentricDad

I have to question your weight goal.... 135 or even 145 that I read in a later reply... that sounds awfully low. I am female in my 40's, 5'4",weigh 145 and a size 10. A man of your height and that weight seems like you should be fine where you are. I am all for being healthy not skinny.

Technically, I could stop where I am at and start weight training, but I want to be in the middle of the Body Mass Index scale of "healthy" instead of on the far side close to "overweight" so this is a personal choice of mine.

According to BMI I am overweight by 10lbs...do I appear this way to you?

I don't judge and wouldn't be able to over the internet. But I do understand that the BMI is inaccurate, but we all have our goals right?

Sooo, you get it but you still don't care?

I am considering a calorie increase aren't I? Please don't get the wrong idea, I might stay at 150 when I reach it for all I know. It just depends on the pouch on my tummy and the fat on my face/neck. So the BMI isn't my measurement stick, my body is. And yes, exercise would do it probably better but you saw all my arguments for that. It just isn't practical for me right now. The only reason I have time to type all this tonight is because my wife is out of town and I can slack off a little.

EccentricDad

I have to question your weight goal.... 135 or even 145 that I read in a later reply... that sounds awfully low. I am female in my 40's, 5'4",weigh 145 and a size 10. A man of your height and that weight seems like you should be fine where you are. I am all for being healthy not skinny.

Technically, I could stop where I am at and start weight training, but I want to be in the middle of the Body Mass Index scale of "healthy" instead of on the far side close to "overweight" so this is a personal choice of mine.

According to BMI I am overweight by 10lbs...do I appear this way to you?

I don't judge and wouldn't be able to over the internet. But I do understand that the BMI is inaccurate, but we all have our goals right?

So you understand it is inaccurate...yet you still desire dropping down to the middle of it's healthy scale...why?

Same reply as another comment like yours: I am considering a calorie increase aren't I? Please don't get the wrong idea, I might stay at 150 when I reach it for all I know. It just depends on the pouch on my tummy and the fat on my face/neck. So the BMI isn't my measurement stick, my body is. And yes, exercise would do it probably better but you saw all my arguments for that. It just isn't practical for me right now. The only reason I have time to type all this tonight is because my wife is out of town and I can slack off a little.

I do appreciate your advice and your opinion, I'm just trying to control what I'm capable of controlling. And judging on the internet, a medium frame guy my height (5'7.5 to be exact) should be 141-165 so I'm just trying to be on the lower end to give me room to grow.

EccentricDad

honestly, i'm trying to figure that one myself. i just reached my goal weight that i'm happy with. so i was taking 1200 in a day ( i workout 7 days a week and don't eat the exercise calories i burned ) but mfp says to maintain my weight i have to eat 1890! i had a hard enough time eating the 1200, and now i have to eat that much more? i don't want to stop working out or lighten it up because i've been doing it for so long, i just don't feel right if i don't. so in other words, i feel your pain.. i'm not in my 30's anymore or as tall as you (53yrs. 5'5"). good luck.

Following the IPOARM seems like a good idea. It's just scary to increase calories when you don't know how many you were eating to get you to that overweight state in the first place. 219 lbs is where I started and I have no idea what my intake was to get there, but clearly it was WAAAAAY too much.

Good luck on your adventure too an thanks for the feedback.

IronPlayground

I have to question your weight goal.... 135 or even 145 that I read in a later reply... that sounds awfully low. I am female in my 40's, 5'4",weigh 145 and a size 10. A man of your height and that weight seems like you should be fine where you are. I am all for being healthy not skinny.

Technically, I could stop where I am at and start weight training, but I want to be in the middle of the Body Mass Index scale of "healthy" instead of on the far side close to "overweight" so this is a personal choice of mine.

BMI is a terrible indicator. Most NFL players are considered obese by BMI standards. Body fat percentage is a better goal. You should start lifting heavy now. There is really no need to wait until you weigh a certain amount to starting lifting heavy.

rodneyderrick

You aren't going to gain any weight at 1,500 calories. You'll still lose about a pound a week; however, it's possible that you'll have a hard time making it to 135 pounds. Your body type will factor into this at some point. A BMI of 23% with eighteen percent body fat is okay, if you're doing the neck and waist measurements. By going down to 135 pounds, you'll need to visit your doctor to see your real body fat measurements using some of the more precise scales. The only reason I'm saying this is because your organs need fat to work.

EccentricDad

Something else to consider re exercise, if you're looking for ideas -- I borrowed a copy of the book, You Are Your Own Gym, by Mark Lauren, from the local library. It has a great collection of bodyweight-only exercises that you can do in your living room, at all levels of difficulty and for all muscle groups (so you can avoid stressing any area with an injury). The book also offers a couple ways of putting together a decent but very quick workout.

I wish I knew enough about nutrition and weight loss to offer you good advice on your calorie intake. I just have to second what everyone else has said. Take it slow, don't worry too much about the effect on your grocery budget (as others have said, there are very cheap ways of adding a few hundred healthy calories to your daily intake, such as peanut butter or eggs), and don't be too nervous -- you can always undo any adjustments you make.

Kudos on being a stay-at-home father. Wish I could do the same.

I'll have to look for that book. Everyone says exercise is the best thing to do to lose weight but exercise is such a time sink when you have other responsibilities. I work 18 hour or more days and having a 10 year old and a 6 year old and parenting in a liberal/authoritative way (I'm an HSP, what would you expect) makes things pretty tough to find time to myself; meanwhile, my wife plays games on Facebook to wind down from her accounting job. I'm not angry at her, I just wish she was on board with my health adventure; would make finding time to exerice easier.

Anyways, thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're not in a position to be a SAHD too; all you can do is enjoy the moments you do have I guess.

TakinSexyBack

You don't need to "exercise" when you are staying home with the kids!!! You get PLENTY of exercise you don't realize! You can track cleaning house, cooking, etc on here. Put that in as your exercise and see!! Thumbs up to you!! My husband is out of a job right now and I am working my butt off. I am still paying for daycare for our 1 year old. He does nothing but sit on his butt online all day. No cooking after I have been gone 12-14 hours a day, hardly any cleaning unless I get pissy! Your kids and significant other are LUCKY!!! :-)

Aventuria

Bananas might be a good idea for food as well. Very sustainable, healthy, high in calorie. :happy:

Also, try not to see everything in a bad light. Be positive about what you did so far!

EccentricDad

I ate 1200 calories a day for 7 months. Dropped 140 lbs during that time. Then I started adjusting up a couple / few hundred calories at a time every 3-4 weeks. What will more than likely happen is you will immediately see a couple pound gain. I mean immediately, first week more than likely. Dont let that stop you, it will be all water. After another seek or so it will be gone and chances are more weight too.

You will probably find you're still loosing and you will have to adjust again. Maybe even a few more times. Just remember to give each adjustment at least 2 weeks and dont freak out over the initial gains. They are temporary I promise.

Im up ti 3350 ish a day and not gaining anything significant. I've also dropped cardio from 7 days to 3.

Good luck you'll be fine!

I have a very similar story to this one. At my lowest intake, I was probably around 1250. Much like the OP, I was scared to add back in calories as I was scared to start gaining weight. When I was coming close to my final goal (176, as the ticker below says), I started adding in calories, a couple hundred at a time, every few weeks. What I found, however, was not an immediate gain, I would hold for a week then drop 2 pounds the second week. It's like my body was breathing a sigh of relief each time my calories went up. This cycle repeated until I'm at the calories I eat now -- 2278 per day, add in eating (most) of my exercise calories back, and I can eat a good chunk of food. I've been holding steady at 155-157 for a while now, so this seems to be working (I'm 5'10.5", so I'm right in the middle of my BMI healthy range). There are days now that I think I'd like to put back on 10 pounds or so, hopefully of just muscle, although the doctor says I could afford to pus a couple percentage points of fat back on (the bathroom scale [yeah, highly inaccurate, i know] bounces between 8.5% and 9.5%, which is at the very bottom of "healthy" and borderline "not healthy). And there are most days where I'm damned happy where I'm at and don't want to change things.

As you go through your transition, take it slow, wait for your body to let you know it's ready. If you're worried about adding grains or similar foods, you can always increase portion sizes of your proteins, which tend to be more calorie dense. Instead of the 4 ounce piece of chicken, up it to a 5 ounce piece, and so on. I went through all the fear you have now, mostly for naught. Just make sure you listen to your body, you'll be OK.

EDIT - Oh, and mad props for being a stay at home dad. My brother has that duty in his house. After having the kids alone for a couple days while my wife was travelling for work and listening to some of the stories my brother tells me, you get my respect. I know I could not do it. Or, in the very least, my learning curve would have been very steep and very long.

Taking it slow seems to be the overall advice and I appreciate your story to re-enforce it. First I'm going to get used to ACTUALLY EATING 1200 calories and then I'm going to eat 1300 and move up slowly. It is nerve wrecking because I feel like I'm losing control, but I guess I need to look at it as I'm closing the balloon to keep the air that I *want* in there in.

Thank you for the compliment on the SAHD thing. I know not a lot of men can do it but being a HSP it is actually a very fulfilling thing for me. Sometimes I wonder if I was born with a woman's brain and my wife born with a man's brain because she shows signs of being warm/affectionate but totally authoritarian when she's giving orders. So you could say she's the military dad and I'm the overprotective mom LOL!

Anyways, thanks again.

ashesfromfire

You'll be fine. Though you should know that at the very beginning you will probably jump a couple pounds. Dont worry about it, your body will readjust and continue losing again soon.

tjradd73

I lost 60lbs in 7 months eating 1200cals/day...now I weigh 130lbs (and have for over a year) and eat about 1800cals/day on AVG...that amount seems to be MY MNT range!! I slowly went up on my cals (from 1200, to 1350, to 1500, 1600, 1700, and now 1800 for AVGs) about every 4-6weeks...and didn't have any probs with gaining.

ok...don't get mad...just giving my 2 cents on the working out...there is always time for a quick workout...I am a single mother, who takes care of all household chores, and works 36hrs/week...and I still find time to fit in at least 30minutes/day. it's all about will...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

dave4d

I'm at 5' 8 1/2". The lowest weight I've seen since I've been an adult was 153lbs. The body fat test I did had me at below 6% bf, but my calipers had me around 10. Don't trust BMI, unless you want to be really thin, and unhealthy. I've seen very healthy people that according to BMI are obese; They just have more muscle than most.

As far as weight training exercises go, you can do quite a bit at home with just your body weight. Resistance bands are fairly cheap, and you can sometimes find cheap weights at second hand stores. If you can find a park with monkey bars, pull ups are an awesome workout. I did a workout where I did just pull-ups, dips,and push-ups, and every muscle in my upper body was sore. It was one of the best workouts I had, but tough. If you have internet, there are workouts on youtube, and other sites that you can try to follow.

I wouldn't consider cleaning house, and taking care of kids as sedentary unless you let the TV do your babysitting for you. It can be quite tough.

I eat very few grains when I'm dieting. Most of my food is proteins, vegetables, and fruits.

EccentricDad

First, I have to say my gut instinct is not to reply at all because this sounds like a trap. Based on your responses, you understand that your goal is based on inaccurate information and yet you are pursuing it anyway...

Second, anyone in this day and age who thinks about criticizing you for being a SAHD is not worth your time and certainly gets not respect from me or most other people. So you can definitely ignore anyone like that.

Third, I'm not a doctor, but I think you're not thinking straight... You are at the perfect weight to start working out at home (yes, you can make the time; it's just a matter of priorities). You don't need any special equipment really other than possibly a couple of barbells you can purchase anywhere (including Wal-Mart and sometimes even Goodwill).

I understand about being poor, trust me. This is the first year my wife and I could even think about spending money on gym and personal trainer. My wife is a SAHM, so we are living on my income alone. Because our health was deteriorating (we are in our early 40's, and she was right at 300 lbs and I was over 200), we knew we needed to take action (literally!). So yes, we are spending the big bucks and it aint easy... but she has lost 70 lbs and I have lost over 30 lbs so far since the beginning of the year. My trainer said (in essence) I am at a good weight to start focusing on strength training now and less on weight loss. I am only 5'7" and weigh 176 -- so you can see where my concern for you comes from. I am not a large framed person. My current profile photo shows me at my heaviest (216 lbs). I look nothing like that now (except the hairline! :P).

So don't worry about 1500 calories. I would even bump it up to 1600 or maybe more, try to get your heart rate up to around 140 or so for 30 minutes a day and do some core exercises and you will be a knockout in no time. You can find exercises all over the place on the internet now (including Men's Health online; they have some great stuff!).

Good luck, and be healthy.

I understand your skepticism and I respect it. There are very few people out there as naive as me that would openly admit it but we exist. The internet gives voice to introverts like me, and while most introverts use it to release anger and rage, I use it to constructively figure out my life and get good advice.

I plan on going up to the 1500 after seeing all these comments, I just needed some support. Being highly sensitive brings a lot of fear with it; I can't help that I am naive and very easily tricked into believing things that aren't true (gullibility?) so I have to figure most things out on my own and then ask a board of professionals to set me straight.

I will incorporate exercise as soon as time permits. Even bodyweight exercises (like suggested above) sound affordable to do; it's really just about time at this point. Tonight I am sacrificing 2 hours to this when I should be doing laundry, vacuuming, getting school supplies at a 24 hours supermarket, cooking meat for the morning, and getting the kids to bed (11pm here). So to be responsible for so much with no help makes life a bit difficult to find time alone.

Thank you again for your advice though, I appreciate it.