Gym stalker

fcp1234

I started going to my gym around a month ago. I usually don’t pay attention to people in the gym until the girl at the front desk told me that I got a fan. Then I started to notice this guy always being a few steps away from me at all times. He is in the “boys area” when I get to the gym, and then he makes his way over.

Cardio days are the worst, I get on an elliptical and sure enough he gets on the one right next to me. There are at least 20 elliptical in the gym, and only a couple people using them..and he has to pick the one next to me…ugh.
First I thought maybe I was near the TV he wanted to watch, so I went to the very last one in the corner, but nope, there he was next to me again, and there was a pole right in front of him, so he couldn’t even watch TV ( which he seems to do when doing elliptical)
A few days ago I did a few min after he got next to me and moved to another one, like FAR AWAY from his. This morning I moved again. I mean really dude you didn’t get it the first time..??

It’s getting to be very annoying. I don’t mind people starring, but I feel so uncomfortable there now. One of the reasons that I go to the gym at 6am is because I hate crowded gyms, and he has to be 2 steps away from me the whole time, I want to throw a dumbbell on his face so bad..

Any better ideas on how to get rid of him without going to jail?

lostinthe619

Just flat out tell him that he's making you uncomfortable.

Capt_Apollo

mention it to gym management, and tell them what you just said. next time he starts to follow you or get on the machine next to you go to the front desk and tell them. with any luck, he'll unwittingly follow you to the front desk and you can't just point him right out.

misswager

Ok, this might sound odd, but ask the receptionist if he genuinely has a learning disability. Sometimes individuals might lack those personal people skills all together. If he does then a different approach might be required.

Are you married? Wear a wedding ring? Even if your not!! lol

I don't really know what I'd do? My husband and I work out together.... I am not the confrontational type either, so I would try the blatant ignoring him while wearing a wedding ring. If he REALLY creeps you out then speak to management.

MTBrob

I started going to my gym around a month ago. I usually don’t pay attention to people in the gym until the girl at the front desk told me that I got a fan. Then I started to notice this guy always being a few steps away from me at all times. He is in the “boys area” when I get to the gym, and then he makes his way over.

Cardio days are the worst, I get on an elliptical and sure enough he gets on the one right next to me. There are at least 20 elliptical in the gym, and only a couple people using them..and he has to pick the one next to me…ugh.
First I thought maybe I was near the TV he wanted to watch, so I went to the very last one in the corner, but nope, there he was next to me again, and there was a pole right in front of him, so he couldn’t even watch TV ( which he seems to do when doing elliptical)
A few days ago I did a few min after he got next to me and moved to another one, like FAR AWAY from his. This morning I moved again. I mean really dude you didn’t get it the first time..??

It’s getting to be very annoying. I don’t mind people starring, but I feel so uncomfortable there now. One of the reasons that I go to the gym at 6am is because I hate crowded gyms, and he has to be 2 steps away from me the whole time, I want to throw a dumbbell on his face so bad..

Any better ideas on how to get rid of him without going to jail?

I'd Stalk you............ =p

ok ok on a serious note.. and just throwing this out there. Maybe the guys is some nerdy dude who is shy around women and he is trying his HARDEST to work up the nerve to ask you out..


Or maybe he wants to wear your skin at night to bed...



I'll let you decide.

ket_the_jet

Introduce yourself to him. Be courteous and polite. Flattered, but resolute in your intentions. Who knows if he is just a socially-inept Prince Charming? And if you're genuinely not looking, what if he is best friend-material?

I wouldn't write him off, but don't be quick to give him your phone number, schedule, and list of ten biggest fears. Talk to him for a little bit, determine his intentions, and, politely suggest that you are not looking for what he is looking for and sometimes it makes you uncomfortable. If he has any sort of social grace, he'll understand. If not, then talk to the gym management before escalating it to a police level.
-wtk

dalehall64

Yeah.. Being a guy, I'm here to tell you, we don't take subtle hints. Just tell him that he's making you uncomfortable being that close to you and you like to have your space when you work out. If he doesn't move away right then and there, then get the Gym Mgt involved.

Zylahe

just for something different
I ended up marrying the guy who stalked me.


but if he makes you uncomfortable, maybe try going at a completely different time for a few weeks.
or as they say talk to management, or possibly ask him not to follow you.

fcp1234

mention it to gym management, and tell them what you just said. next time he starts to follow you or get on the machine next to you go to the front desk and tell them. with any luck, he'll unwittingly follow you to the front desk and you can't just point him right out.

This is a good idea. And the girl at the front desk already knows, cause she is the one that noticed it on the first place.

fcp1234

Introduce yourself to him. Be courteous and polite. Flattered, but resolute in your intentions. Who knows if he is just a socially-inept Prince Charming? And if you're genuinely not looking, what if he is best friend-material?

I wouldn't write him off, but don't be quick to give him your phone number, schedule, and list of ten biggest fears. Talk to him for a little bit, determine his intentions, and, politely suggest that you are not looking for what he is looking for and sometimes it makes you uncomfortable. If he has any sort of social grace, he'll understand. If not, then talk to the gym management before escalating it to a police level.
-wtk

There is no way i can be polite to him, I wish I could beat the s*** out of his a**

fcp1234

Ok, this might sound odd, but ask the receptionist if he genuinely has a learning disability. Sometimes individuals might lack those personal people skills all together. If he does then a different approach might be required.

Are you married? Wear a wedding ring? Even if your not!! lol

I don't really know what I'd do? My husband and I work out together.... I am not the confrontational type either, so I would try the blatant ignoring him while wearing a wedding ring. If he REALLY creeps you out then speak to management.

I am married and I wear a wedding ring

SyStEmPhReAk

ok, ok!!! i get it! you DON'T like me... Sorry for stalking!
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j/k... i would tell someone from mgmt to talk to him or just flat out tell him to leave you alone. If you're feeling uncomfortable, go with your gut.

GorillaEsq

Self Defense Rule 1: Be assertive, direct and clear.

If he, or anyone, is too close for your comfort, tell them, right there, right then, without recourse.

- Do not go "tattle" to management.
- Do not be subtle.
- Do not be passive aggressive.

Say, "Give me space. You make me uncomfortable every time you're near me. Back off."

The end.

This statement serves two primary agendas...

1. You have established a legal precedent. You have CLEARLY indicated that his presence is bothersome to you, and you do not feel safe when he is near.

2. You have given him one of three options. He will ...
..A. Withdraw
..B. Stay still (aka "neutral")
..C. Continue to advance.

As a father, husband, attorney and 20 year martial artist, if you said that to me... I would immediately withdraw, because I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you thereafter (for many, many reasons).

If he stays neutral, and/or "ignores" you. Move.

If he continues to advance, or follows you after you move, get ready to knock him the f**k out. You are in a better position to do this, because of Agenda 1.

Happy Friday.

SoDamnHungry

Introduce yourself to him. Be courteous and polite. Flattered, but resolute in your intentions. Who knows if he is just a socially-inept Prince Charming? And if you're genuinely not looking, what if he is best friend-material?

I wouldn't write him off, but don't be quick to give him your phone number, schedule, and list of ten biggest fears. Talk to him for a little bit, determine his intentions, and, politely suggest that you are not looking for what he is looking for and sometimes it makes you uncomfortable. If he has any sort of social grace, he'll understand. If not, then talk to the gym management before escalating it to a police level.
-wtk

There is no way i can be polite to him, I wish I could beat the s*** out of his a**

He might not even know you notice. Seriously, some people just don't grasp it. There's no reason to be mean when he doesn't know he's making you uncomfortable. If he does continue, then talk to the gym management.

TylerJ76

Introduce yourself to him. Be courteous and polite. Flattered, but resolute in your intentions. Who knows if he is just a socially-inept Prince Charming? And if you're genuinely not looking, what if he is best friend-material?

I wouldn't write him off, but don't be quick to give him your phone number, schedule, and list of ten biggest fears. Talk to him for a little bit, determine his intentions, and, politely suggest that you are not looking for what he is looking for and sometimes it makes you uncomfortable. If he has any sort of social grace, he'll understand. If not, then talk to the gym management before escalating it to a police level.
-wtk

There is no way i can be polite to him, I wish I could beat the s*** out of his a**

How do you know you can't be polite?
Have you tried?

ItsCasey

Trust your instincts. Don't try to be friends with the guy. To a *kitten*, that just makes you an easier target. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you feel threatened by him and that you want to be left alone. Report the same to the management of the gym so that if violence is later required because he decided not to leave you alone, there is record of the fact that you tried to do something about it.

Maybe try taking your husband with you one day to further cement the message in this guy's pea-sized brain.

But if push comes to shove, defend yourself, and don't feel badly about it. You're not going to go to jail for self-defense, and if you've made other people aware of your problem, it will be easy to prove.

perfectingpatti

- Do not go "tattle" to management.

I disagree and think this can be dangerous advice. You need to let someone know that you feel stalked. Let's say you are direct with him, but don't say anything to management. He follows you home and something happens. It can be important for someone to know what's going on. Management also needs to know because he may be stalking others.

If he continues to advance, or follows you after you move, get ready to knock him the f**k out. .

I wouldn't start any physical confrontation if he hasn't. You can be aggressive with telling him to give you space, but I don't think you need to resort to knocking him the eff out for jumping on the treadmill next to you.

Proyecto_AN

Fart next to him, that should work.

newmooon56

best advice came from grorillaesq !

Why ppl allow others to do as they please in their space I will never understand. Its ok to say no. its ok to stand up for yourself. its ok to move and say - back off when he follows. Its ok to be mean if you need to be. use words and be clear. hints obviously havent worked.

TavistockToad

stare him out, then ask if he is going to say something or just keep stalking you... then leave...!

megan1869

Ok, this might sound odd, but ask the receptionist if he genuinely has a learning disability. Sometimes individuals might lack those personal people skills all together. If he does then a different approach might be required.

Are you married? Wear a wedding ring? Even if your not!! lol

I don't really know what I'd do? My husband and I work out together.... I am not the confrontational type either, so I would try the blatant ignoring him while wearing a wedding ring. If he REALLY creeps you out then speak to management.

Bahahahahaha! I swear doing ths only makes them work harder! Its like what... she thinks shes taken? I'll show her! I used to wear a ring while serving/bartending/going out with friends and I've gotten more free drinks than ever!....

I'd say tell him you are a lesbian.... but guys seem to like that too... lol... good luck

Tank_Girl

Id get a gym buddy... Preferably a male one

nataliexxxx

Tell him to go away or just keep moving he must get it haha, or maybe you could go to the gym at a different time

GorillaEsq

I disagree and think this can be dangerous advice. You need to let someone know that you feel stalked. Let's say you are direct with him, but don't say anything to management. He follows you home and something happens. It can be important for someone to know what's going on. Management also needs to know because he may be stalking others.

With due respect, you are completely wrong. Management's role is to make money, not act in the capacity of law enforcement and judicial procedure. If anything your advice puts the gym in a position of liability regarding several legal issues, which if they are already not aware, their lawyer will be quick to point-out.

If you don't feel safe. Act. Do not rely on others to save you.

I wouldn't start any physical confrontation if he hasn't..

Which is why I said be ready to act.

You can be aggressive with telling him to give you space, but I don't think you need to resort to knocking him the eff out for jumping on the treadmill next to you

Again... Concisely expressing that someone is making you uncomfortable and instructing them to withdraw establishes a legal precedent. It is their actions that follow that statement that determine your right to act, and as to what degree of force is required.

Happy Friday

fcp1234

Introduce yourself to him. Be courteous and polite. Flattered, but resolute in your intentions. Who knows if he is just a socially-inept Prince Charming? And if you're genuinely not looking, what if he is best friend-material?

I wouldn't write him off, but don't be quick to give him your phone number, schedule, and list of ten biggest fears. Talk to him for a little bit, determine his intentions, and, politely suggest that you are not looking for what he is looking for and sometimes it makes you uncomfortable. If he has any sort of social grace, he'll understand. If not, then talk to the gym management before escalating it to a police level.
-wtk

There is no way i can be polite to him, I wish I could beat the s*** out of his a**

How do you know you can't be polite?
Have you tried?

Well, let me put it this way. I have ZERO desire to be nice. He is making me uncomfortable, why should I be nice to him.

perfectingpatti

With due respect, you are completely wrong. Management's role is to make money, not act in the capacity of law enforcement and judicial procedure. If anything your advice puts the gym in a position of liability regarding several legal issues, which if they are already not aware, their lawyer will be quick to point-out.

Maybe at your gym, but at ours it is their responsibility to keep their members safe. If someone is stalking another member, they WANT to know about it.

Army_Love89

Introduce yourself to him. Be courteous and polite. Flattered, but resolute in your intentions. Who knows if he is just a socially-inept Prince Charming? And if you're genuinely not looking, what if he is best friend-material?

I wouldn't write him off, but don't be quick to give him your phone number, schedule, and list of ten biggest fears. Talk to him for a little bit, determine his intentions, and, politely suggest that you are not looking for what he is looking for and sometimes it makes you uncomfortable. If he has any sort of social grace, he'll understand. If not, then talk to the gym management before escalating it to a police level.
-wtk

This!

MaryJane_8810002

I started going to my gym around a month ago. I usually don’t pay attention to people in the gym until the girl at the front desk told me that I got a fan. Then I started to notice this guy always being a few steps away from me at all times. He is in the “boys area” when I get to the gym, and then he makes his way over.

Cardio days are the worst, I get on an elliptical and sure enough he gets on the one right next to me. There are at least 20 elliptical in the gym, and only a couple people using them..and he has to pick the one next to me…ugh.
First I thought maybe I was near the TV he wanted to watch, so I went to the very last one in the corner, but nope, there he was next to me again, and there was a pole right in front of him, so he couldn’t even watch TV ( which he seems to do when doing elliptical)
A few days ago I did a few min after he got next to me and moved to another one, like FAR AWAY from his. This morning I moved again. I mean really dude you didn’t get it the first time..??

It’s getting to be very annoying. I don’t mind people starring, but I feel so uncomfortable there now. One of the reasons that I go to the gym at 6am is because I hate crowded gyms, and he has to be 2 steps away from me the whole time, I want to throw a dumbbell on his face so bad..

Any better ideas on how to get rid of him without going to jail?

Balls up and tell him that you don't want him near you. You are a grown woman, what is the problem?

GorillaEsq

Well, let me put it this way. I have ZERO desire to be nice. He is making me uncomfortable, why should I be nice to him.

You shouldn't. See above.

crw72209

I started going to my gym around a month ago. I usually don’t pay attention to people in the gym until the girl at the front desk told me that I got a fan. Then I started to notice this guy always being a few steps away from me at all times. He is in the “boys area” when I get to the gym, and then he makes his way over.

Cardio days are the worst, I get on an elliptical and sure enough he gets on the one right next to me. There are at least 20 elliptical in the gym, and only a couple people using them..and he has to pick the one next to me…ugh.
First I thought maybe I was near the TV he wanted to watch, so I went to the very last one in the corner, but nope, there he was next to me again, and there was a pole right in front of him, so he couldn’t even watch TV ( which he seems to do when doing elliptical)
A few days ago I did a few min after he got next to me and moved to another one, like FAR AWAY from his. This morning I moved again. I mean really dude you didn’t get it the first time..??

It’s getting to be very annoying. I don’t mind people starring, but I feel so uncomfortable there now. One of the reasons that I go to the gym at 6am is because I hate crowded gyms, and he has to be 2 steps away from me the whole time, I want to throw a dumbbell on his face so bad..

Any better ideas on how to get rid of him without going to jail?

I'd Stalk you............ =p

ok ok on a serious note.. and just throwing this out there. Maybe the guys is some nerdy dude who is shy around women and he is trying his HARDEST to work up the nerve to ask you out..


Or maybe he wants to wear your skin at night to bed...



I'll let you decide.

He wants to wear your skin at night......
THAT cracked me up!!!

fcp1234

Well, let me put it this way. I have ZERO desire to be nice. He is making me uncomfortable, why should I be nice to him.

You shouldn't. See above.

That was a well thought nice advice, thank you