Deleting bc people eat too low...
Replies
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I can see if it is someone who consistently eats 300-400 a day and then is like "OMG!! I ate SOOOOOO much today, I am such a fat cow! Why cant I see my spine from the FROOOOOONT?!?!?!" But, I also have issue with some one consistently eating like 3000-4000 a day and being all "I dont understand why I am not loosing weight (yes.... "loosing" was on purpose there)! I ONLY had 2 big macs, a platter of mac and cheese and 3/4s of a chocolate cheesecake!!". I honestly dont look at other peoples stuff. Even if they ask me to, I forget anyway. Sometimes I am under. Sometimes I am over. But most of the time, IDGAF if anyone else is!0
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I agree with you, OP. People struggle with all types of eating issues. And some MFP members seem to have an elitist "my way is the only way" attitude. But the reality is that the person who was dropped is probaby better off because their former "friend" was unlikely to be supportive anyway.
True- all types of struggles exist. If someone is eating too low and they want help eating more, I'll direct them to someone who can help them. I'm not it. If they REALLY want to be my friend I'll do my best. But I'm just not the person who can help them with it. If I have someone who regularly binges and wants help, I'll try to help. I'm better at that. If they ignore my advice and make it clear they are not really trying, out they go eventually just the same. Anyone who gets on the "my way is the only way" isn't going to be my friend in the first place. I don't buy into that bs.0 -
Those of us who are perfect tend to be very forgiving to those who aren't, simply because no one can really meet our standards.
~This is joking, people~
I've seen a few people talk about deleting friends who eat very low calories, but it's only been those who are pro-ana, not those who seem to be trying to eat healthier but can't seem to get enough calories in.0 -
My friends could eat cats for all I care.
Love this!!0 -
I can see if it is someone who consistently eats 300-400 a day and then is like "OMG!! I ate SOOOOOO much today, I am such a fat cow! Why cant I see my spine from the FROOOOOONT?!?!?!" But, I also have issue with some one consistently eating like 3000-4000 a day and being all "I dont understand why I am not loosing weight (yes.... "loosing" was on purpose there)! I ONLY had 2 big macs, a platter of mac and cheese and 3/4s of a chocolate cheesecake!!". I honestly dont look at other peoples stuff. Even if they ask me to, I forget anyway. Sometimes I am under. Sometimes I am over. But most of the time, IDGAF if anyone else is!
Those people are annoying.0 -
I just think both under eating and over eating are basically the same "issue" just a different response...I feel bad about myself so I will only eat lettuce and ice chips or I feel bad about myself so I will eat 5 Big Macs. Yet, the first gets bashed and the second gets babied.
These instances aren't always equivalent. I think most times, people who over-eat realize they are having a "bad day," and seek to eat better/healthier. They realize they need to make changes in order to reach their ultimate goals. However, many people who under-eat are doing so with intention. They believe they will reach their goals by maintaining this unhealthy and counterproductive life-style.
So I agree with you in those instances when the under-eater is aiming to eat a more calorie/nutrition rich diet. But when someone doesn't recognize the problem (whether it's over-eating or under-eating) then I think supporting the ongoing lifestyle only reenforces unhealthy habits.0 -
I delete anyone that doesn't eat exactly what their macros show they are supposed to eat. I expect everyone to be PERFECT!
LMAO!! :laugh:0 -
I support everyone. I follow Primal Blueprint. I don't believe in calories in/calories out (I've seen it in action for a year and a half on my BodyMedia Fit Armband. What I burn and my weight/health/body composition have NOTHING to do with each other. What matters is what I put in my mouth). But I have MFP friends that are counting calories, vegetarians, body builders, etc. I don't do what they do but I support them all the time. If they stall out and are looking for other options then they can come to me and I will tell them what my lifestyle change did for me and tell them to be their own scientist.
The USDA guidelines were turning me into fat and sick diabetic. The healthiest version of the USDA guidelines ("healthy" whole grains my a**) was making me a thin and sick diabetic. Primal Blueprint has made me lean, fit and healthy!! But always N=1
A calorie-restricted diet is undereating so IMO, the majority of the people on MFP are "undereating". (add exercise to that - energy output - without increasing the calories then it's more extreme undereating).0 -
Another thread got me thinking...People often say they delete friends for eating too low, do you then also delete people who are constantly over? How does having an "under eating" problem deserve less support than an "over eating" problem? Do those people NOT deserve the same support and care that someone who struggle with overeating?
I will eventually delete anyone (over or under) who is not sticking to the plan. I'll support them for awhile but.....you can't help someone who won't help themselves.
"the plan"? whose plan?0 -
I just think both under eating and over eating are basically the same "issue" just a different response...I feel bad about myself so I will only eat lettuce and ice chips or I feel bad about myself so I will eat 5 Big Macs. Yet, the first gets bashed and the second gets babied.
This is absolutely 100% what I have observed. I have a friend on my list who eats rediculous amounts of fast food, like 8 cheeseburgers a day and people are constantly babying him. This upsets me because though I do not judge him for eating that way I am certainly not going to downplay it and support it, I will offer constructive and honest advice. On the other hand there are those self-riteous people (I have one of those on my list too) who preach the eat more to lose weight bashing those who find it difficult to move from the eat more than 1200 calories method (I agree that eating more is better but when you have been taught to eat less it's a difficult transition even for non eating disorder people like myself). There is an overall lack of tolerence for individual issues on this site, I suppose that is just what happens when you get humans together whether it be online or in person.0 -
i dont check diaries...i only delete if they are seriously inactive or they flood my news feed with woe is me statuses0
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idk honestly. I think they mean that they do not want to support unhealthy eating habits or something they deem as eating disorder behavior. But still, I do not see how they do not deserve support and encouragement. I personally do not have many friends and do not have any friends that under eat like that ( I dont even really check on it bc im not their mommy) unless they ask I do not generally give an opinon. I just say nice things and try to be supportive. Thats what this is for.
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ditto, especially the part about not checking unless they ask. If someone is making great progress I might go and check their diaries to see what they are doing.0 -
My friends could eat cats for all I care.
I think I'd have to delete someone for eating cats. :-)
Puppies too!!! Anything furry, or a dolphin LOL0 -
I don't really get it. I've never deleted anyone for anything, and don't plan on it. I go under sometimes, go over sometimes, there's no real rhyme or reason for it most of the time, it just happens. Yesterday I completely forgot to eat lunch because I was super excited about a concert I was going to, then I stood in place for 7 hours at the concert (worth every second) and didn't get home until 1:30am, so didn't want to eat then, so I ended up under 1000 calories for the day. Sometimes there really are other reasons besides self-abuse...lol
Unless it's an actual trigger for me and my food issues (which I don't really have any, so I guess that's good for me), I wouldn't delete someone, and I don't ever look at anyone's diaries unless asked, nor do I comment on their daily intake/lack thereof unless asked, but that's just how *I* choose to use MFP.0 -
Thank you! I thought I was the only one that found that a little sad. I thought this was a support site, not "I'm going to watch what you eat like a hawk and if you aren't eating enough, you're on the chopping block" site. I don't judge, though. To some people, I'm could see why it would bother them. Yet at the same time, I feel like you should ESPECIALLY keep the friends who eat too little, because they most likely don't know any better, so you should be there to educate them, not bash them! I know when I first started I had the mentality that you WANT a calorie deficit. I thought the more of a deficit you had, the more weight you'd lose. Thankfully people on this site taught me that that isn't the case! If not, I'd probably still be eating like a rabbit and I'd be completely miserable because I wouldn't be losing weight!0
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I'm under my total cals more often then I am over. The only time I've eaten under 1200 cal was when I was sick. But I nearly always eat over 1200 cal whether I am exercising a little or a lot and more importantly I enjoy food. We are all adults here and this is supposed to be a place to support and be supported. The only person I need to keep an eye on is Me. And even then I don't judge me. I'm in learning mode so that means I get to have a lot of learning experiences till I find what best works for me. So I say to all of you, congrats on getting here and continuing to stay. Happy journey to you all.0
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I delete anyone that doesn't eat exactly what their macros show they are supposed to eat. I expect everyone to be PERFECT!
Lol!0 -
My friends could eat cats for all I care.
How many calories do Cats have anyway? Could be a new source of protein...
Just think how many calories you would burn trying to catch the said cat. i know mine have a sixth sense if i want to catch them ( for flea drops not eating) and scarper.
Bwahahahahah!!! Best thread EVER!0 -
I do not delete because of your diet unless you want to be 80lbs, but I delete if your not dedicated to being here everyday and being honest with yourself and taking responsibilty for your actions. I personally don't understand all the hoop-la. But whatever, I don't want to be friends with those who think they know it all anyways, I don't have the patience to put up with perfection and know it all's.
Well said!0 -
I just think both under eating and over eating are basically the same "issue" just a different response...I feel bad about myself so I will only eat lettuce and ice chips or I feel bad about myself so I will eat 5 Big Macs. Yet, the first gets bashed and the second gets babied.
I know, not very fair
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Oh geez, delete a friend because he/she doesn't meet YOUR standards when it comes to eating? What's next? Unfriending a person because he/she doesn't dress as nicely as you, drives an older car, has a different opinion, etc.? That's a bit "High School" in my humble opinion.
Pppfffttt! Some days I eat 1200 cals, another day maybe 1500+ cals, and then,*GASP* if I don't happen to be hungry one day or feel a bit under the weather, I might actually eat below a thousand calories. It happens, and if you're going to delete me for it, well then, up yours...you weren't much of a friend anyway.
Eat whatever you want, make healthy choices, use moderation, and enjoy life! Support your friends and accept that not everyone is going to live up to YOUR standards.0 -
I think that it's ever person's prerogative to friend or de-friend whoever the hell they want to. I personally will not de-friend someone based solely on their eating habits. However, I WILL de-friend people who constantly eat at obviously disordered levels and then complain about the side effects of malnutrition they are experiencing, but refuse to change. Conversely, I will also de-friend people who consistently eat way over their goals and then complain that they aren't losing any weight. I'm here for myself, and I have been very lucky to find myself with a group of other people who are legitimately trying to get healthy and who I can support, and who can support me, productively. I am very grateful for them. I have no obligation to be a support system for strangers who are refusing to take care of themselves.0
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My friends could eat cats for all I care.
How many calories do Cats have anyway? Could be a new source of protein...
Mine wouldn't be a good source of protein. They're too fatty. So keep yer mits off my kits!0 -
I'm just starting this and because of all the food restrictions I have and the fact that I'm still trying to see how I can get all my calories from the foods I am allowed to eat, I've been "undereating" all week. I mean, I've had my meals and my snacks, but when I input the info it turns out I have left over calories at the end of the day. I'm not trying to undereat, I'm just learning how to do it right when my diet has had to change due to health issues. To be judged and assumed to be making "dangerous" choices and deleted for it, its very judgemental. So if this is about finding support to others and then you become judge and jury, I think the person is in the wrong forum.0
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My friends could eat cats for all I care.
I think I'd have to delete someone for eating cats. :-)
Me too!!!0 -
I don't monitor my friend's food very much, but I am careful who I add/accept as friends in the first place. I find it's best if we have a similar view on what is "healthy" food. I am not able to be very supportive to people who have ED or who are focused on being "skinny" rather than healthy. I have deleted a couple of people who had serious health issues and were eating what I consider toxic foods. I'm not trying to be judgemental, I just know that I can't be supportive of someone who isn't concerned about their health first and foremost. The biggest red flag for me is someone eating really low fat, lots of processed carbs and artificial sweeteners. I've been there, done that, and I it's a "trigger" for me.0
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Usually, the ones who go OVER calories admit that it was not good for their health and they commit to doing better, learn from the mistake, and make the next day a NEW DAY.They didn't join this site to eat 5 big macs each day and log it. They joined to make a healthy lifestyle, which includes sometimes messing up. You never fail until you stop trying.
SOME (NOT all) Of the people who eat under, do not think it is unhealthy, they deny having a problem, and they cheer each other on for having low intakes! Some of these people also spam my news feed with statuses like " FASTING BUDDY NEEDED!" and other stupid posts. I think they're wearing ana goggles, and their mindset is not healthy . I don't want to see their thoughts 24/7 - i'd rather be encouraged by people who are doing it the healthy slow way.
I don't really watch every friends diary though... It more depends on how many updates they post, if it does not influence me positively I just choose to delete. No hard feelings. ~~0 -
Usually, the ones who go OVER calories admit that it was not good for their health and they commit to doing better, learn from the mistake, and make the next day a NEW DAY.They didn't join this site to eat 5 big macs each day and log it. They joined to make a healthy lifestyle, which includes sometimes messing up. You never fail until you stop trying.
SOME (NOT all) Of the people who eat under, do not think it is unhealthy, they deny having a problem, and they cheer each other on for having low intakes! Some of these people also spam my news feed with statuses like " FASTING BUDDY NEEDED!" and other stupid posts. I think they're wearing ana goggles, and their mindset is not healthy . I don't want to see their thoughts 24/7 - i'd rather be encouraged by people who are doing it the healthy slow way.
I don't really watch every friends diary though... It more depends on how many updates they post, if it does not influence me positively I just choose to delete. No hard feelings. ~~0 -
To be honest, I only look at food diaries for food ideas. My friends eat some pretty delicious things.0
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I just dont comment when friends eat at super high deficits.
And cats? nah, I'll pass.0
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