Alcoholics in your life? Anyone?

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  • kelly101386
    kelly101386 Posts: 389 Member
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    I don't like to say I gave up on my mother, but I don't have anything left in me to try and fight it.

    Also, this sums up how I feel perfectly. When I visit home now (I live overseas), all I can make myself do is search the house every day and find the hidden vodka, and pour it down the drain.
    [/quote]

    I always dread it when I return home, I live 200 miles away from her and immediately can tell by the tone of her voice if we speak. I will hang up.
  • trunkfish
    trunkfish Posts: 81 Member
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    Hi. I feel for you. I'm a recovering alcoholic with two friends dead from alcohol and another on the way. I'm sorry but you can't deal rationally with your brother. He has to want to give up on his own accord. No amount of any intervention will make an alcoholic give up drink if they don't want to.

    You say in your profile you don't have enough time for yourself. It's important you don't get sucked into your brother's problems because alcoholics are among the most resourceful, single-minded, devious and deluded people on the planet and will run you ragged if you let them.

    The professional route is best / intervention, but if your brother isn't up for it, there's not a lot you can do.

    I almost lost my husband because of my drinking. Tell your brother that if he loves you, he'll have to accept that you're going to cut him out of your life until such time he sets about stopping drinking. Shock tactics can work with alcoholics. Not easy for you but I'm thinking about your welfare - his welfare is up to him.
  • madfatcat
    madfatcat Posts: 6 Member
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    Take care of yourself first - this is not selfish - your brother and your family need you. I support most opinions here that you can't change him or influence him in any way. I have just divorced from my alcoholic husband after 10 years of marriage (thank God, no children). He firmly stated that he will drink until he dies, as much as he wants because he likes it. Never admitted he has a problem although he has managed to deeply insult everyone who loves him, including his parents. I suppose there are many factors which might affect how and if an alcoholic can recover. I pray he will, but if not, stay strong and keep a distance for your own sake.

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