is he trying to sabotage me?

Whitezombiegirl

Playing devils advocate and this is not how I feel about women, It might be he believes that you should do as the master of the house commands or even that a woman needs to be thin and attractive while single but need not stay thin and attractive after she has caught a man but should let herself go and settle for being a wife and mother and just looking how ever she turns out after she slides into married life. I know a lot of men who look at it this way.

Really? Sickening...

And I know quite a few women who feel this way- they lose weight when single and gain when in a relationship. Its not juts the 'couple food ' thing that cabn happen when you are comfort eating and dating together but they genuinly beleive that they can look however they weant once they have a man and he has no right to feel any way about it.

bulbadoof

I agree with the list of male perspectives, and would address those issues with him.

But before you confront him, what you need to understand is that he probably doesn't know that what he's doing is hurting you. From my experience, a lot of people who don't actively incorporate fitness into their lifestyle perceive weight loss (especially female weight loss) as just something you do when you are not happy with what you see in the mirror. Since I don't really see any "active sabotage" in your OP (he's not bringing home chips and eating them in front of you or trying to sneak extra calories into your food), it's possible his own interests have very little to do with it. Maybe you just have a great man who loves you and doesn't want you to feel inadequate or insecure as you are now.

Get to the bottom of why he feels the way he feels about your weight loss, and remind him that you're going to love him no matter how you choose to live your life, that you are not trying to exclude him from anything, and that this is something that makes you feel really good to be working toward - physically and mentally.

Maybe you could invite him to join you on your agenda for a week? That's all it took me to convince my boyfriend that treating your body a little better really makes you feel a lot better, and his perspective went from "well, you look great right now and you don't need to push yourself so hard" to "I'm so proud of you and I'm glad you're so happy." He's on MFP alongside me now, and he's lost 22 lbs so far!

mattcoop

He probably doesn't like this kind of change because he is insecure. Is he still nice to you?

Just hold on there... stay strong and stay on your course... it is your body to get back into healthy living so your heart is strong and your arteries are clear. Read my profile... I had a heart attack over 2 years ago... if your husband is willing, let him see my profile page and the seriousness about why so many 41 - 47 year old males die on their first heart attack.

SueGremlin

Honestly, I think he's just trying to make you feel good. I dont see how him telling you that you dont need to lose any more weight is a BAD thing...

I see it as a very bad thing. It's disrespectful! Telling her she looks great the way she is is one thing. Trying to stop her from meeting her goals is another thing entirely!

zyxst

My husband does the same, although Im pretty sure he does it with a good heart. I work my butt off with exercise and eating well and I try to encourage him to do the same and then ill get home from and he'll have bought me a packet of Tim Tams. Ive told him time and time again do not buy them. But he thinks having 1 or 2 a night with a cup of tea is not going to do any harm. Or he'll come home with some take away thinking he's doing me a favour so I dont have to cook. He does a lot of physical work and works everything off at work, where as I sit on my *kitten* all day in an office so Ive really got to watch what I eat. He is very encouraging and supportive though and always tells me Im doing a great job and he loves me no matter what.

I'll take those Tim Tams off your hands. :flowerforyou: