who has a daughter???

24

Replies

  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    the thing is: a 34 year old should have nothing in common with a 17 year old. very little in common anyway. there is a good chance that persons biggest issues are getting their homework assignment done and the mean girls in at school. youth are considered youth in the western world for a reason: most of them are unemployed, most of them go to high school

    Absolute rubbish!
    We met while she was diving at my scuba diving centre. So we had diving in common.
    She is an ardent cyclist - Tick.
    She was a business studies major - we ran a business together. (which she wrote the business plan for that the bank gave us money)
    She had her friends, I had mine, we had mutual ones.
    Doesnt sound too disconnected, does it?


    we shelter youth with poor sex education and disempower them: not letting them make decisions and telling them what to do. it removes any and all autonomy. being in a relationship with someone who can't even legally buy alcohol and is consistently told what to do should NOT be dating a 34 year old.

    My ex g/f had made her mind up what she wanted to be, and how she wanted to get there by the time she was 16. (before she had even met me) Admittedly she put that on hold when we bought the business, but since we split up, she has gone back to working in the financial sector of the City and is working for an American bank.

    There was no disempowerment going on anywhere. She made the decisions based on what education she had, and made choices (reasoned & rational) and she made the decision to move in, she finished school, she got her degree, I didnt do any of that for her.
    I provided the house, she made the home. Based on her choices, our home was stunning. Im a guy who thinks peach is a fruit not a colour, so that's why I m happy that happened.
    when i was younger, around 17, a lot of older men hit on me. Now that I am 26 I realize what serious *kitten* they were...they obviously just wanted one thing or are uneducated dirtbags who have nothing going for them but to prey on young girls.

    That might be, but I am far from uneducated, I am certainly not a *kitten*, and I resent that you lump me in with what obviously was the low end of the gene pool from where you were.

    I grant you, this OP's tale is sleazy. but my own situation is far from that.

    i made up my mind of all sorts of things when i was 16 too ;)
  • i made up my mind of all sorts of things when i was 16 too ;)


    Right! So, there you go.
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    I don't think you are being hypocritical at all.

    I'm 18 and very attracted to older men BUT if a man older than 30 wanted to date me, I would think there was something wrong with him.

    The guy in your OP sounds like a creeper. It's possible that he is going through a "midlife crisis" or whatever, but most likely, he is just a perv.

    NOW. That is not to say that all men who date women significantly younger than them are creepers. In the case describe in your post, what creeps me out the most is the fact he knew this girl since she was a baby. If I was that father, I would kick this guy's *kitten*.
  • i feel like this thread could have been a much better conversation if it had a different tittle .. like .. “creepers” or “to creep or not to creep” or “guys who hit on younger women” “how old is to old” “danger with out the stranger” “baby sitter to boyfriend?” ... i could go on lol...
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    babysitter to boyfriend....omg, bad porn title haha
  • babysitter to boyfriend....omg, bad porn title haha

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sarahmoo12
    sarahmoo12 Posts: 756 Member
    I think its weird with those ages!
    One of my boyfriends mates is like that hes 27 and has dated a girl that was 16 !! Said it was platonic and they where waiting till she was older to go further but I just think its creepy. Under 20's if your that age is CREEPY!
  • Ezwoldo
    Ezwoldo Posts: 369 Member
    I have a daughter and she WILL not have a boyfriend her own age and most definatley not older than her
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    The fact that he would try to sleep with a friend's kid pretty much makes him a horrible friend IMO. If he wants to date 18 year old girls, I really could care less. But, he should pretty much expect a punch in the face from this girl he's known for so long AND her father.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Who said he needs anything in common? He just wants a shiny, new model fresh out of the showroom, without too many miles or issues on it :P
  • Kaylee_law_123
    Kaylee_law_123 Posts: 450 Member
    I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 42, I couldn't be happier and have never had such a good relationship. That being said I don't think when I was 18 I would have gone anywhere near a 36 year old man, but ppl grow and mature at different rates and at the end of the day he makes me happy so the age gap means nothing to me.

    BUT he didn't know me as a child, only as an adult - I would find it creepy being hit on by someone who basically sat by and watched me grow up into something "legal" for him to date!
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 42, I couldn't be happier and have never had such a good relationship. That being said I don't think when I was 18 I would have gone anywhere near a 36 year old man, but ppl grow and mature at different rates and at the end of the day he makes me happy so the age gap means nothing to me.

    My wife and I were the same ages as you two when we got married 27 years ago, except she's the older one. Obviously this turned into a good and long lasting relationship. I know plenty of people who married their own age, and it was no guaranteed of success.

    Leave the legal adults alone if they want to be together.
    To the Legal Adults: leave the kids alone.
  • hes known this girl since she was a baby,hes a sicko and he should be kept away from her.
  • im 21 and im suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper attracted to older men ... super super super attracted to older men ...

    om nom nom ...

    what do we have in common... ummmm .... nothing

    Well hello, gorgeous.... ;-)

    --P

    Haha! As soon as I read her post, I wondered how long it would take for some older dude to hit on her!!!
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    hes known this girl since she was a baby,hes a sicko and he should be kept away from her.

    this
  • peter236uk
    peter236uk Posts: 140 Member
    Very difficult question really it would always be difficult for a much younger person being with an older person. Its not noww its in the future when things change in my view.

    You take me I am 52 if I was to date someone who was say 30 I should be so lucky lol there is a huge age gap as you get older I just feel that when the problems arise.

    If you talking about purely a date or something sexual then as long as they are or legal and consenting I guess its ok.



    I have two daughters 25 and 23 the youngest is with a guy who is 36 they both seem very happy and very much in love
  • Austin1988
    Austin1988 Posts: 243 Member
    If an old man was hitting on my daughter and it was unwanted attention...I'd tear both of his arms off and beat him to death with them.

    Then tell him to have a nice day. :smile:
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    If an old man was hitting on my daughter and it was unwanted attention...I'd tear both of his arms off and beat him to death with them.

    Then tell him to have a nice day. :smile:

    This!! X1000
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    This whole tread reeks of pedos :P
    400px-pedobearbusted.jpg
  • My hubby is 12 years old than me. Its a maturity thing. MOST guys that are my age are just too freaking childish for me.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    For me, there's a huge difference between a 48 y/o guy dating an 18 y/o girl vs same guy dating same girl, who he's known from the cradle.

    I use girl because girl is less formal than woman and guy is less formal than man.
  • The biggest problem for me here would be the fact that this is a girl that he basically saw grow up. I live in a community where we are close knit. My son is now 20 years old and I have watched all of his friends grow up. There is no way I can ever look at them except for as that child that was out here skateboarding in my backyard or playing video games. My point, if he was around this girl while she was growing up and he is friends with his parents, first there should be respect there for the friends and secondly (not sure how close they are) but I would think when seeing a child grow up you still see them as that child. I know I do. BUT THEN AGAIN THIS WORLD IS FULL OF PERVS AND HE PROBABLY DOES STILL SEE HER AS THAT CHILD !!!!!
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    im 21 and im suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper attracted to older men ... super super super attracted to older men ...

    om nom nom ...

    what do we have in common... ummmm .... nothing

    Well hello, gorgeous.... ;-)

    --P

    Haha! As soon as I read her post, I wondered how long it would take for some older dude to hit on her!!!

    Yes, brilliant, you got me. I was hitting on her.

    --P
  • cakeordeath
    cakeordeath Posts: 229 Member
    makes him feel younger...
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
    So do you plan on informing her dad? Whether the guys still talk much anymore doesn't matter. Dude crossed a line and that needs to be addressed - not here in this forum, but by the one who has been his daughter's proctector since birth. You and she need to sit him down and tell him what happened. The last thing you want the daughter to think is that no one stepped up for her on this.
  • MonkeyBars
    MonkeyBars Posts: 266 Member
    oh dear!

    I can't imagine being interested in a woman under 33 or over 46. I'm 42. So I appear to have a leeway at the moment of 9 years younger & 4 years older.

    When I was 17 I was interested in girls from 16 to 20. So my leeway was 1 year younger & 3 years older.

    When I was 25, it was 22 to 27. 3 years younger and 2 years older.

    So does my leeway expand as I get older?

    But come on, 18 vs 42! I'd treat them as a kid sister if we had anything in common. I wouldn't allow it to be physical. What would we talk about? Politics and the economy? Or perhaps X-Factor & Overdrive?

    If girl's who like older guys have daddy issues, then what issues do guys have who like younger girls?
    I can't say what drives people. I also can't judge them when they're not breaking the law.
    I can say it makes me uncomfortable.
  • lisaanne1369
    lisaanne1369 Posts: 377 Member
    He wants to feel younger and she is looking for a daddy.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    Self-defense training! I recommend everyone have some self-defense training.

    And yes, that guy is seriously a creep and I would have knocked him cold if my daughter didn't beat me to it.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    So NOT okay. It's not the age difference that creeps me out, it's the fact that he's watched her grow up from a baby! From what it sounds like, he's been practically family. He needs a talking to, ESPECIALLY because she's upset.
    If that were my daughter, the guy would be getting a beat down.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    My hubby is 12 years old than me. Its a maturity thing. MOST guys that are my age are just too freaking childish for me.

    Sadly, this is more or less it. As someone previously noted, what's strange is that a 40+ year old man would want to date an 18 year old girl. Have sex, sure. But date? It's very rare, but not impossible, that there can be an intellectual attachment when there is such a large age difference. What are they going to talk about???

    On the other hand, as noted above, many men, especially American men, are quite immature for their age. Stuck in a Peter Pan complex. Just look at how they dress (baggy shorts, sports shirt, baseball cap, sneakers - add jeans for the winter). Look at what they talk about.

    And while an 18 year old girl is almost certainly too young for a 48 year old man, my guess is that there are many 27-35 year old women who are sick of dating "boys" their same age or slightly older for whom an intellectual discussion is why designated hitters are bad for baseball.

    --P