what NOT to say to your wife/gf when she's crying....

Maryaly40
Maryaly40 Posts: 551 Member
in Chit-Chat
Are you PMSing????? :noway: :noway: :noway:

Especially when you know damn well she no longer PMSes!!!!! Just a small rant. Had some nonsense go on at work yesterday, been struggling with my weight loss and really needed the hub lastnight for support and he failed me. Again. :sad:
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Replies

  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
    "But I like something to hang on to" is always an interesting opening gambit here ...
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
    "You're ugly when you cry."

    tumblr_m65y7kygmI1qbcrj1o2_400.giftumblr_m65y7kygmI1qbcrj1o4_400.pngtumblr_m65y7kygmI1qbcrj1o7_1280.png
    tumblr_m27bi7C3d51r6aoq4o1_500.gif

    "Dude! I know I'm ugly when I cry - now I can't fkn stop!"
  • momof3and3
    momof3and3 Posts: 656 Member
    :flowerforyou: ((((HUGS)))))
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    That gif......whoa.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    Really babe?!?! Suck that sh!it up...:noway:
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Hey baby, hows bout a lil lovin'?
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
    Big girls dont cry..
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
    well, since you're already crying, lets try the back way...
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
    For the record, I'm an expert in what NOT to say.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Step 1: Stop thinking that men are emotionally the same as women.
    Step 2: Try Step 1 again.
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    "Stop crying."

    Makes me angry, and makes me cry harder.
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    You're fired!

    Men are ****s, we just don't know what to say, period (no pun intended). Unless we have clear instructions on a chart that has a Yes and a No side, we're screwed...
  • tistal
    tistal Posts: 869 Member
    I feel bad for men. They usually dont know what to say, stumble around their words and end up saying the wrong thing no matter what they say. I say dont be so sensitive. Men are men. We love them for who they are, not their ability to try to read our minds!
  • johnlatv
    johnlatv Posts: 654 Member
    I feel bad for men. They usually dont know what to say, stumble around their words and end up saying the wrong thing no matter what they say. I say dont be so sensitive. Men are men. We love them for who they are, not their ability to try to read our minds!

    Thank you :)
  • nbhobbes
    nbhobbes Posts: 284
    Oh come on there has to be something better/worse to say..

    How about

    "So I guess this is a good at time as any to tell you I don't think this relationship thing is working out."

    Or

    "Really, you want me to console you... That is SOOOO Co-dependant of you."
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    Sorry to hear you're struggling.

    May I ask what you've done to support your husband/boyfriend? Having been there and done that, I'm willing to bet your hubby feels this way: no matter what he said, he was going to be wrong as you've set him up for failure. Before the raging men-haters start roaring, take a moment and read...

    In a perfect world, what does "support" look like to you? In other words, what would you like to have your husband do or say to support you? Have you ever relayed that information to your husband in terms that he can understand? If not, how is he supposed to know? If you cannot clearly articulate what "support" looks like to you, how is your SO supposed to know? Telepathy??

    By what you've written here, you were emotional due to a series of upsetting situations. In all likelihood, he was not aware of those circumstances, nor did he have any input or control over them. He likely has his own stuff going on, the same as the rest of us, but you start dumping out your raw emotional energy and try explaining why you are upset and crying. Emotions aren't logical and, in most cases, talking about emotional situations comes across as rambling and often irrational.

    Men tend to be analytical and we look for solutions. Unfortunately, those skills don't transfer easily to emotional situations. He ends up getting a ton of emotion in his lap. He is left feeling raw and confused, has no idea what you want from him and doesn't have the vocabulary to articulate how he feels so he ends up saying something insensitive.

    Going forward, if you want a particular kind of support from your SO, tell him about it!
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    I feel bad for men. They usually dont know what to say, stumble around their words and end up saying the wrong thing no matter what they say. I say dont be so sensitive. Men are men. We love them for who they are, not their ability to try to read our minds!
    I think I love you.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    I always help out my man friend. I'll go to him "Okay. I just need you to sit there, smile and nod and pad my back." Or I'll tell him "Just tell me I'm the prettiest girl in the world."....


    It's not their fault they have a Y chromosome and can't compute womanese.
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    Big girls don't cry :tongue:

    haha but really....sometimes I'm the same way with ANybody crying...just kind of want to slowlllly back away from the awkward situation
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    I always help out my man friend. I'll go to him "Okay. I just need you to sit there, smile and nod and pad my back." Or I'll tell him "Just tell me I'm the prettiest girl in the world."....


    It's not their fault they have a Y chromosome and can't compute womanese.
    You ladies are giving me hope!
  • ChgingMe
    ChgingMe Posts: 539 Member
    A bit of advice ladies. If you want support call a girlfriend. Men are in the business of fixing things. So if you go to your partner and say... 'I had such a bad day at work and I'm stressed' the hubby/partner will immediately go into fix it mode. The mind will race to try and figure out how he can 'fix' your issue. Totally ignoring you and your immediate need of say a hug. Better scenerio. Pick up the phone and call your bff and vent to her. You will get far better results. Then once you've talked it out with her and you feel better. THEN talk to the hubby. Your emotions are not at a fervered pitch and his lack of sympathy won't matter so much. Just sayin'
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    "Stop crying."

    Makes me angry, and makes me cry harder.

    I had a REALLY bad day on Wednesday and I got upset and started crying and instead of, "It's going to be OK," I got, "Calm down." And not in a comforting tone.
  • mdbs2004
    mdbs2004 Posts: 220 Member
    .....I'm almost finished....
  • tistal
    tistal Posts: 869 Member
    .....I'm almost finished....


    Made me LOL!
  • Joannie30
    Joannie30 Posts: 415 Member
    I can kinda identify with this one. As much as i love my fiance to the ends of the earth, he's not the most emotionally intuitive guy in the world.

    I'm sure your hubby cares, but doesn't maybe know how best to show it?

    Jx
  • missdaisy79
    missdaisy79 Posts: 566 Member
    A bit of advice ladies. If you want support call a girlfriend. Men are in the business of fixing things. So if you go to your partner and say... 'I had such a bad day at work and I'm stressed' the hubby/partner will immediately go into fix it mode. The mind will race to try and figure out how he can 'fix' your issue. Totally ignoring you and your immediate need of say a hug. Better scenerio. Pick up the phone and call your bff and vent to her. You will get far better results. Then once you've talked it out with her and you feel better. THEN talk to the hubby. Your emotions are not at a fervered pitch and his lack of sympathy won't matter so much. Just sayin'

    This. I still have to remind myself of this when I've had a bad day and all I want to do it b1tch about it but the husband starts trying to offer me solutions. Now I just say "give me a damn hug".
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    Strange. I usually manage to do a damn good job of cheering up a girl when she's upset/crying. Why do all other men have such a hard time with it?
  • rprussell2004
    rprussell2004 Posts: 870 Member
    Welp, I guess that's it. You better leave him and find someone who can read your mind.
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,241 Member
    You're fired!

    Men are ****s, we just don't know what to say, period (no pun intended). Unless we have clear instructions on a chart that has a Yes and a No side, we're screwed...
    Hahaha My boyfriend would so totally agree with this. I get so mad when he says "I don't know what I'm 'supposed' to say." What am I, your MOTHER? lol

    ETA: I actually *do* tell him some things, when I can articulate them, because I know he doesn't mean it. He wants to help, but doesn't know what to do, so me telling him gets us through it faster and easier.
  • jdploki70
    jdploki70 Posts: 343
    "Man up" never ends well. Same with "grow a pair" and "suck it up".

    "Is something wrong?" again never works.

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