what NOT to say to your wife/gf when she's crying....

ChgingMe

A bit of advice ladies. If you want support call a girlfriend. Men are in the business of fixing things. So if you go to your partner and say... 'I had such a bad day at work and I'm stressed' the hubby/partner will immediately go into fix it mode. The mind will race to try and figure out how he can 'fix' your issue. Totally ignoring you and your immediate need of say a hug. Better scenerio. Pick up the phone and call your bff and vent to her. You will get far better results. Then once you've talked it out with her and you feel better. THEN talk to the hubby. Your emotions are not at a fervered pitch and his lack of sympathy won't matter so much. Just sayin'

rml_16

"Stop crying."

Makes me angry, and makes me cry harder.

I had a REALLY bad day on Wednesday and I got upset and started crying and instead of, "It's going to be OK," I got, "Calm down." And not in a comforting tone.

mdbs2004

.....I'm almost finished....

tistal

.....I'm almost finished....

Made me LOL!

Joannie30

I can kinda identify with this one. As much as i love my fiance to the ends of the earth, he's not the most emotionally intuitive guy in the world.

I'm sure your hubby cares, but doesn't maybe know how best to show it?

Jx

missdaisy79

A bit of advice ladies. If you want support call a girlfriend. Men are in the business of fixing things. So if you go to your partner and say... 'I had such a bad day at work and I'm stressed' the hubby/partner will immediately go into fix it mode. The mind will race to try and figure out how he can 'fix' your issue. Totally ignoring you and your immediate need of say a hug. Better scenerio. Pick up the phone and call your bff and vent to her. You will get far better results. Then once you've talked it out with her and you feel better. THEN talk to the hubby. Your emotions are not at a fervered pitch and his lack of sympathy won't matter so much. Just sayin'

This. I still have to remind myself of this when I've had a bad day and all I want to do it b1tch about it but the husband starts trying to offer me solutions. Now I just say "give me a damn hug".

chivalryder

Strange. I usually manage to do a damn good job of cheering up a girl when she's upset/crying. Why do all other men have such a hard time with it?

rprussell2004

Welp, I guess that's it. You better leave him and find someone who can read your mind.

mariposa224

You're fired!

Men are ****s, we just don't know what to say, period (no pun intended). Unless we have clear instructions on a chart that has a Yes and a No side, we're screwed...

Hahaha My boyfriend would so totally agree with this. I get so mad when he says "I don't know what I'm 'supposed' to say." What am I, your MOTHER? lol

ETA: I actually *do* tell him some things, when I can articulate them, because I know he doesn't mean it. He wants to help, but doesn't know what to do, so me telling him gets us through it faster and easier.

jdploki70

"Man up" never ends well. Same with "grow a pair" and "suck it up".

"Is something wrong?" again never works.

itgeekwoman

I get.. Sweetheart, crying is only going to give you a headache.

secretlobster

Are you PMSing????? :noway: :noway: :noway:

Especially when you know damn well she no longer PMSes!!!!! Just a small rant. Had some nonsense go on at work yesterday, been struggling with my weight loss and really needed the hub lastnight for support and he failed me. Again. :sad:

Geez. Are you married to a twelve year old? I thought most males stopped mentioning PMS after the first time they got slapped for it.

buffybabe

"calm down" i think that's the worst

rprussell2004

"What... AGAIN?"

Diary_Queen

"No, really.... here... YOU take the hotdog and throw it down the hallway. I swear, totally like that. True story, chick."


Never, ever, ever, ever heard this.... but I think it could be bad!

Rubie81

.....I'm almost finished....

Hysterical!!!! Best reply yet.

UncleMac

A bit of advice ladies. If you want support call a girlfriend. Men are in the business of fixing things. So if you go to your partner and say... 'I had such a bad day at work and I'm stressed' the hubby/partner will immediately go into fix it mode. The mind will race to try and figure out how he can 'fix' your issue. Totally ignoring you and your immediate need of say a hug. Better scenerio. Pick up the phone and call your bff and vent to her. You will get far better results. Then once you've talked it out with her and you feel better. THEN talk to the hubby. Your emotions are not at a fervered pitch and his lack of sympathy won't matter so much. Just sayin'

It's not that we don't sympathize, it's that we aren't mind readers and the emotional torrent doesn't relay meaningful information so we get confused & frustrated. If we didn't sympathize, we wouldn't want to try to fix things.

Love the idea of calling the BF to quell the storm!

misscristie

I feel bad for men. They usually dont know what to say, stumble around their words and end up saying the wrong thing no matter what they say. I say dont be so sensitive. Men are men. We love them for who they are, not their ability to try to read our minds!

This is very true. Fortunately, but husband grew up in a house full of women, so when I'm crying about some irrational, emotional BS, he just wraps his arms around me until I stop. Maybe let your hubs know that that's a good route to try next time?

_VoV

Never say, "I hate when women do that."

VoodooLuLu

My hubby is great with cheering me up! He sits down n actually talks with me n hugs whenever i need it