what NOT to say to your wife/gf when she's crying....

Turtlehurdle

You don't look fat, just a little chubby....

TK266

"but I used an open hand!" not a good response.

I usually go with the hug and the Sheldon Copper "there, there". if asked for a solution I will provide one, but I need a clue sometimes on whether it is a "just listen to me" or a "WTF do I do?" situation.

3foldchord

I don't 'do' crying or emotional outbursts and I like to solve problems myself. When BF and I argue we usually end up laughing about it.... I think I might be a guy....

ditto

oldsalty1

Don't give men the excuses...I raised boys...and girls...and let me tell what....My men know what to say and how to say it to stay out of trouble

Kellybeth16

Here's a thought.



Don't act like you're PMSing all the time. Maybe then he won't ask.



Like I said, just a thought.

My thoughts exactly Lea!

Like somebody else said, I also feel bad for men. They don't think like we do. If I think I'm going to get angry or upset over something, I usually tell my boyfriend "hey, I think we're going to argue in the next couple days" Then, he says "what did I do this time?" (nicely) And once I sit back and think about it, he hasn't done anything that any other guy hasn't done, so I just get over it. This is what works for us. And, if he really has done something to upset me, I tell him nicely and we figure it out.

Sorry I just rambled on.

justal313

I feel bad for men. They usually dont know what to say, stumble around their words and end up saying the wrong thing no matter what they say. I say dont be so sensitive. Men are men. We love them for who they are, not their ability to try to read our minds!

I think I love you.

This is the internet, people masquarade as women all the time. I bet it's a dude :laugh:

Windy32

Wow your nose gets really red when you cry.

My husband is usually pretty good. he tells me I will watch the kids why don't you take a break. So I get sent to my room when I cry lol.

ClassicPearl

I LOVE UNICORNS!

LOL WTF!

UncleMac

Sorry to hear you're struggling.

May I ask what you've done to support your husband/boyfriend? Having been there and done that, I'm willing to bet your hubby feels this way: no matter what he said, he was going to be wrong as you've set him up for failure.

Honestly, I stopped reading there. I don't see how a girl having a bad day at work and ending up crying is setting a man up for failure. What guys need to do is not talk and just hug their girl, let them cry into their shoulders. That's comforting, and there's no way a man can mess up, unless he started groping her. (Which would be his own fault, not the girls' >:|)
I'm sorry, but not every girl sets a guy up for failure and it irks me when guys say that.

It's too bad you stopped reading because you totally missed the point.

To address your point, I didn't say anyone was being deliberately being set up for failure... I remarked on how it feels like being set up for failure. Anyone who would deliberately set their SO up for failure won't have a SO for long.

Unless you give your SO instructions on what your expectations are in situations like this (and let's face it, once the emotional torrent starts, you're not going to be giving anyone useful instructions), then he has to depend on whatever previous experiences he's had to try to cope... but it's really a crap-shoot...

I think I'm lucky because I have three sisters so I'm pretty good at dealing with most situations... but my wife acts and reacts completely differently than any of my sisters or any other previous relationship.

nbhobbes

I don't 'do' crying or emotional outbursts and I like to solve problems myself. When BF and I argue we usually end up laughing about it.... I think I might be a guy....

No I think you might be AWESOME!