Partner hates me using MFP :(

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  • erinbolton
    erinbolton Posts: 28 Member
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    I agree with what a lot of the others are saying, it feels obsessive at first. You get accumstomed to it VERY quickly. my husband was very supportive of my using MFP but did make jokes about the time consuming nature of the logging. That only lasted about 3 weeks or so. Now he is just as anal about logging everything as I am. As long as you are doing it for the right reasons and you are comfortable with the life change that you are making to keep yourself feeling better, looking better, and around longer than it doesn't really matter what he thinks. This is a decision that affects the betterment of your health, it doesn't affect his. Keep up the good work and turn a deaf ear to his discouragement. :)
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    Yeah, I log everything as well. I haven't told the hubby that I use this site or anything like it. He does get annoyed when I'm like OMG that has such and such calories in it!
  • idaman76
    idaman76 Posts: 40
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    i do get anxiety about my partner using MFP so much but it is because she chats with people and interacts taking time away from my family and myself. It is selfish of me but i would like her to spend a little more time with it off than on. That being said, here i am telling you that i am waisting time not interacting with my family. like i said it is a selfish thing.
  • sunrise611
    sunrise611 Posts: 1,878 Member
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    It's not "obsessive" and lots of people do it with great results and success.

    So, do not allow anyone to control you or make you feel badly about something that you are doing to keep yourself accountable and on track in reaching and maintaining your personal goals.

    Not even your Significant Other. If he loves you, he will not try to control you or make you feel badly.

    Keep logging as much as you want and don't worry about being obsessive.

    Tell him that accountability is not the same as an obsession.
  • joelthecannon
    joelthecannon Posts: 23
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    If he cares really cares about you, he would be supportive of your passion to stay healthy on MFP! He might be afraid of your success. Everyone that is a true friend of mine supports me on MFP. Good Luck!
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
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    The "obsessive logging" subsides over time as you learn to eat more healthily and it becomes habit. I was attached to my phone when I started MFP 11 months ago. I still log now, but I don't have to look everything up in the database before ingesting it.

    On another note, he sounds a little controlling himself.
  • turbofuzz77
    turbofuzz77 Posts: 98 Member
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    I dont think you are being obsessive at all! It sounds like the issue may lie with your partner possibly being insecure. I love mfp and if i just did food averages i wouldnt have made as much progress as i have. Just my thoughts and hope this helps!
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    She is 5'7" and 134 pounds, maybe he has reason to be concerned about her health. Remember we are hearing just one side of the debate.
  • kiachu
    kiachu Posts: 409 Member
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    She is 5'7" and 134 pounds, maybe he has reason to be concerned about her health. Remember we are hearing just one side of the debate.

    This ^^
  • moonflower35
    moonflower35 Posts: 3
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    He may be jealous of your time. Some people want lots and lots of attention and get mad if someone or something else is getting it instead. Stay strong, do what you need to do. He'll get over it.
  • Growtinymusclesgrow
    Growtinymusclesgrow Posts: 152 Member
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    My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?

    Does your partner struggle with weight issues? Does he workout? Is it possible that this would be some of his own insecurities showing? It has been my experience that this type of reaction is tied to their own insecurities. This is your journey, if logging every thing your eat and drink helps you stay on track than I would suggest staying the course. It is important to surround yourself with like minded people, not people that may purposely or inadvertently derail your fitness goals. Just my two cents, wishing you much success in reaching and surpassing all of your fitness goals!
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
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    She is 5'7" and 134 pounds, maybe he has reason to be concerned about her health. Remember we are hearing just one side of the debate.

    A lot of people here track calories to make sure they are eating enough to gain weight also.

    Oh and the just "eat clean" and exercise can work for sure but I MUCH prefer to eat the majority "clean" and still know that I can fit in "junk" here and there and it will not affect health/physique/fat loss/muscle gain. If I wasn't tracking then I would have no way of knowing this.
  • ccckwalk
    ccckwalk Posts: 262
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    that has happened quite a bit...for us it came down to me losing weight and him not and a little jealousy. I try to make him more important than mfp and try not to log when he is talking to me or wants attention~It should get better girl! ~corina
  • jb_2011
    jb_2011 Posts: 1,029 Member
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    MFP is an education tool. The 'obsessive' logging eases off and will be replaced by 'normal people' healthy eating and exercise once you become more innately aware of the values of what you're eating. Hubby just needs to understand that the obsessive logging is just a part of the education process to living a overall long term healthy lifestyle.
    This ^^^ is exactly what I wanted to say. You're in "school" of sorts to learn how to feed yourself correctly. Hope he can understand that.
  • MelanieCatherine51
    MelanieCatherine51 Posts: 3 Member
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    It's about you, not him! Do want makes you feel good, and if it means doing MFP, then do it. It keeps you honest and on track. It's good for you!!
  • dadof2boyz
    dadof2boyz Posts: 156 Member
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    In no uncertain terms, tell him to... well you know. It's not just about logging everything. It's more about the support network you have here. Yes, logging is important, and I disagree with him. We are all very different, and when he says be like "normal" people, you should ask him to define that for you.... see how he defines it... I BET HE CAN'T. Yes we can all get obsessed with logging, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It lets me know what works for me and what doesn't it. It holds me accountable. Not only to myself, but to my tremendous friends and support network on here. So you tell him this.... you ask him to replace all of the support you receive on here, and if he can do that, then agree to change.... I guarantee he cannot and will not match the support you receive from your MFP friends, because he's not going through the same thing you and your support network are. So he doesn't understand it on the same level.
  • Kikilicious84
    Kikilicious84 Posts: 312
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    Man, mine would be out on the damn street if he EVER criticized me for doing something that worked.

    Lol on the damn street for questioning her actions!

    He may well be the nicest guy in the world who questioned whether her actions were a little obsessive. That's it! It's all over! How dare he!

    Why did you and your partner split up, affair?
    No he is totally trustworthy
    'did he beat you?'
    No way, as gentle as a lamb
    'gamble away your money?'
    No, he's great with money
    Nasty to your friends?
    Oh no, they all think he's great

    What then?
    Well he expressed concerns about me becoming too obsessive about the calories
    OUT ON THE DAMN STREET!!!

    LMAO
  • vmekash
    vmekash Posts: 422 Member
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    logging everything is what works
    end of argument
    lol
    good luck
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    What you'll find is that the more you get used to knowing how many cals are in each thing, the less meticulous you'll become in logging because you'll be quite good at estimating how much you've had.
    I agree!

    At the beginning it's a bit intense tracking everything but I mellowed out and now track but don't obsess about food like I used too. There will be good days not so good days.

    I don't agree with everyone using the word jealously here. You know yourself better than any of us, there are some ppl that perhaps should use another method of watching what they eat. I know I used to get way overboard over everything and it got pretty bad to the point eating anything made me feel guilty. As I said only you know what your eating habits are and if you're here for the right reasons. What do I mean by that? There are some on here that have suggested (by docs, nutritionists, counselors etc...who ever they have discussed this with) they no longer track every bite because it's harming them in negative way.

    Check in with Funky Spunky she's shared a lot in regards to this during her time here. She started the site at 15 and is now 19 and has shared her story, it might be helpful to make contact with her to hear in her words how constant tracking effected her.

    Before anyone jumps up waving their arms, this is example of how it effects some, but personally I don't believe it has to do with MFP itself in the slightest, but more how we handle things within using a site of any type.

    If we come to this site looking to 'diet' our way to weight loss then it'll simply be just another diet of many. Using MFP as it's intended, a healthy way to track, share, learn nutrition etc., a person can meet goals and stay healthy.

    These are simply my thoughts, when someone uses the word obsessive, it can mean nothing or it can be pretty serious issue, again, depending on the individual and their relationship with food.

    Take care!:flowerforyou:
  • EatTrainBelieve
    EatTrainBelieve Posts: 2
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    Hi,

    I would try it for a week, like you said. MFP is a tool, something that we can use to track our fitness and dietary goals, it's not something that we need to live by. If you have to log every single morsel of food that you are consuming because otherwise you feel guilty and it is taking away the pleasure of eating something and/or sharing that meal with the ones you love (ie, ur boyfriend) then maybe he is right (though it doesn't seem like he went the right way about telling you).

    The fact that you are asking is enough for me to think that you need a break. Even if it is just for a week. When you become obsessed with what you eat your life revolves around food, when and what your are putting in your mouth. Food is fuel for our bodies so that we can enjoy what life is really about, being and enjoying every second that God has gifted us with, to be with the ones we love.

    Just a thought.....

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