Partner hates me using MFP :(

scpdxb

My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?

jesz124

Tell him to mind his own business!!

lisamarie2181

So strange that people get upset about these things. It isn't just the fact of logging, you are surrounded by alot of people on here struggling with the same things as you and so many people here to support you in your journey, how can that be a bad thing? lol I have never been as successful as I am now and I know alot of that has to do with having the support of this site.

I know when you start logging, you can be a little fanatical, I think alot of people are because you want to make sure you account for every calorie to ensure you are doing what you can to get to your goals. After a while, you will find you may tone down a bit. I used to make sure I logged everything right after I eat, and now i just try and make sure I get it all in, even if it is a day or so later. The accounability you place on yourself to do these things helps alot. Before I started MFP and logging on here, I was meticulous about logging, made my own log journals and wrote every little thing down. Did it for four months straight and started to struggle and I stopped logging and I fell off track. MFP got me back on track and back to logging all the time, but this time I'm not as anal about it. You will find an inbetween eventually. And like I said, I love this site more for the community then the logging. I love that I have friends that have some of the same medical issues and know my struggles and are here to support me, just as I am for them.

When you have had to lose weight on your own, you don't realize how much support actually makes a difference. And this support is free! Don't let your partner get you down, they may just feel left out and want more attention from you, so maybe they just need something to blame it on. Try explaining why it is so important for you to be on here and hopefully they will come around. You are doing this for you, to live healthy and to be that way for you AND your partner and in the end I am sure they will appreciate the new healthy you

Good luck and hang in there

hanneberries

Why should your partner have anything to say in what you do? He doesn't control your life. Just because he doesn't like something you do doesn't mean it's not the right thing for you to do. Tell him to build a bridge and get over it. He doesn't run your life, only you do.

888999

Don't in take it to heart, not everyone understands and normally because they loose weight easy the thing is we are not all the same. You can note down what you eat in a book and then every couple of says update the web site to keep track.

melaniecheeks

It CAN appear to be obsessive , especially in the beginning. Can't you just make a joke of it, treat it lightly?

16saira

I think he might be a little jealous because here you are logging all your food to make sure you stay fit and make healthy choice, while he just eats without making sure if he is making the right choices or He might be annoyed also that every time you eat, you have to log in the food. I know MFP helped me alot, I was always struggling to balance my foods, without MFP I would be over my calories everyday. If you want, you can log in once daily, that's what I do. I decide to think of all the food I am going to eat the day before and log them in and just remember, the next day how much you put in for each food. If you cant do it the day before, log in before you sleep the same day and if you think you will forget what you wrote, make a note in your cell phone or if you are in the kitchen, write it on a sticky pad. Hope this helps!

lynz4589

I think HE is the obsessive one almost telling you what you can and cant do! If it works for you and is making you healthier then he should praise the site! Ignore him, Im sure he doesnt seek your approve to see his friends, go out for a drink, or watch his favourite tv show!!!

Antlady69

Sounds like he hates the fact that your attention is not on him but on yourself and on logging your foods. He presumably (I could be wrong) doesn't know this site, and why you find it so helpful. Show him!

I agree with what Melanie says: try to make a little joke when you log your food / exercise, ask him to come join you at the computer and show him the site. Then maybe ask him to look up the foods for you, so he can see himself what information you're getting - but do all this with a smile and a twinkle in your eyes.

If he tries to start an argument again, try asking him (CALMLY!) why he won't support you.

Best of luck!

EvgeniZyntx

Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?

No, that is the name of the game, what you don't log you can't follow - but if you interupt life to log everything - dinner conversation, etc... it is obsessive and intrusive. It is the intrusive part that is bothersome.

You can also have moments or meals that you decide not to log. If your BF inviting you to dinner and you turn that down because of MFP logging? That isn't a good thing.

One can log a little more privately, too.

Shadowsan

What you'll find is that the more you get used to knowing how many cals are in each thing, the less meticulous you'll become in logging because you'll be quite good at estimating how much you've had.

fredd500

Is your partner closer to their desired weight than you? Sometimes people who don't need to lose much can't accept how difficult it is when you do.

chooriyah

Perhaps he is feeling a bit left out or ignored as you are using your phone much more than usual when you're together? I know I am, and this is a good wake up call that I need to keep it in check. I'm enjoying doing it because it appeals to my OCD side...but I know it drives me crazy when my hubby is always on his phone...especially at meal times!!!

How about setting aside time when you are alone to log, either a couple times a day or once a day?

bcameron112

Some days I do feel it is obsessive and taking over my life but like you I KNOW it is helping me. Perhaps you should do like I do now and log in the morning all your planned meals then in the evening add any extras you have. I do this and it works as I stick to the meals and always leave some extra calories for little treats along the way and if I don't use them then I am under my calories for the day. Mine complains occasionally too but then he will sit at his computer for hours watching golf!!!

Elleinnz

I log everything during the week, but take some logging breaks most weekends - sort of helps with not looking obsessive when you are spending time with other people......also just check things like sitting at the table logging etc.....

Something that also worked for me was to spend some time in the morning pre-planning my days - that way I was not logging all the time.....I could then just adjust things as I went along.....

So find ways to make it part of our lifestyle change without it interfering / affecting your interaction with other people....

annemariebrown1

a lot of my friends have looked at me crazy saying i'm obsessive over what i eat... and having to log it...
but i'm the one losing weight and making myself the best person i can be. not them.
I understand it can be crazy at times...

calculate in ur head, add up the calories
log them later when you can sneak away for a bit lol

ur getting your way, and theyre getting theirs...

sneaky but necessary

Kymmu

Perhaps he is feeling a bit left out or ignored as you are using your phone much more than usual when you're together? I know I am, and this is a good wake up call that I need to keep it in check. I'm enjoying doing it because it appeals to my OCD side...but I know it drives me crazy when my hubby is always on his phone...especially at meal times!!!

How about setting aside time when you are alone to log, either a couple times a day or once a day?

I agree with this...it's new and different and takes up extra time. show him all around the site then tell him how much you feel it helps you. He'll get used to it.
Don't let him stop you doing this if you like it- or anything else for that matter.

subtlewhisper

What concerns me is your statement, "now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it".
Why would you stop doing something that is good for you because your partner disapproves?

shelbyfrootcake

MFP is an education tool. The 'obsessive' logging eases off and will be replaced by 'normal people' healthy eating and exercise once you become more innately aware of the values of what you're eating. Hubby just needs to understand that the obsessive logging is just a part of the education process to living a overall long term healthy lifestyle.

DPernet

Had to laugh at this. My wife immediately signed up for MFP when she saw me using it and does it alongside me. If anything she's even more obsessive about it than I am even though she has no weight to lose imo.

Sounds like you've just managed to find a real loser. I can't see myself ever having a reaction other than being 100% supportive

29andfat

There's nothing wrong with being obsessive if it's to make a positive change in your life! Plus, using MFP hardly makes you obsessive, you're just making full use of that the site is here for. You're supposed to track all that stuff, that's what it's there for. People lose weight doing this. This site has changed the lives of a lot of people. It's a shame that he can't appreciate that.

Most importantly, if MFP is working for you, please don't stop using it!

CaelGomez

My boyfriend doesn't know about me using MFP. I know if he did, though, he would tell me I don't need it. He doesn't think I need to lose weight. Your boyfriend/fiancee/husband is horrible to start a fight over you choosing to use MFP, though. If you're not looking to lose weight, and just looking to eat healthier... then you don't need to use MFP if it's going to cause problems with your love (even though he's just having a tantrum over nothing). If you're wanting to lose weight, though... then MFP is great. It trains your dedication, self-discipline, and easily keeps you on track for healthy weight loss. MFP trains you to be able to not log everything and just live a healthy lifestyle without worrying about gaining weight... it just may take a year or so for you to be able to do that. If this is what you want... then your lover needs to support you. Stress is a reason many people put on pounds! He shouldn't be putting you through something like that. You're not harming anybody... MFP is better than you harming yourself by anorexia or bulimia! He's just being a brat. I'm sorry you have to put up with that. He shouldn't be so judgmental of something just because it's different than the way he lives his life. You should ask him why it bothers him... if he dislikes it for a good reason (I can't think of any good reasons!), then try to set up some sort of compromise. What he thinks should matter to an extent... but if you're not harming anybody then he needs to be supportive of you! Even if he doesn't agree with something, he should always support you if he loves you more than anything. I would like to know why it bothers him so much, though. He just seems like a complete jerk, but he may have a good point as to why he would dislike MFP so much... instead of getting angry, he should have more self-control (maybe HE should use MFP!) and talk to you about his thoughts and avoid fights with the one he loves!

LifeIsNotADressRehearsal

I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious

I think you answered your own question right there! By the way, there's nothing wrong with eating hamburgers - I enjoy lean beef and turkey burgers all the time and have met my goal. Hamburgers.....mmmmmmmmm

purebells

I think at the beginning it can be obessive, and people dont seem to understand and think you are taking the 'diet' thing a bit too far.
I say keep tracking and screw him!!

elyelyse

MFP is an education tool. ...

the obsessive logging is just a part of the education process to living a overall long term healthy lifestyle.

i like this way of thinking about it as education. If you were taking a course to learn how to do something well, it could take several months or more to master the task. It's like we are taking "Basic Nutrition Tracking 1" right now, and we have to study!

adamsilva

I think if you have a specific goal in mind, logging everything will help you get the most accurate reading possible although it'll never be 100%. If there is not specific goal in mind then i think you should just remember most of your food and do your logging in one big hit when your alone or not spending time with him. maybe logging everything every two minutes while your with him gets on his nerves. it annoys my GF!. lol.

good luck.

Qskim

She is thinking she should leave MFP because he will take the joy out of it for her. I think my husband was more worried about the chat side of it. So one night I sat with him on couch n showed him friends etc...I even showed him a friend request from a male that I ignored with a polite message of good luck. Once he realised I was only sticking to women he's been fine and the fact that he steals the remote for the tv n am I really supposed to sit there watching fishing shows with him? Lol. I am obsessed but I've made rules..only when baby is being fed or when he is watching his shows or on his phone. I reward myself with it too...get this job done and only then log food.

BarbaraC47

I'm 64 and have been dieting on and off for the last 50 years..... I choose whatever keeps me going and this is by far the best site I have EVER found. I'm in with a real chance of finishing what I started and I'd be real upset if my partner said what yours does. I guess all you can do is prove how much you need this by losing the weight. He won't moan then will he??

kcoftx

My husband is a good guy and is supportive in many ways but initially I did get eye rolling and some minor talk of obsessiveness. It does take an amount of obsessiveness to really stick to doing it. But I kept doing it anyway because this is not about him. This is for ME. He spends a lot of time on video games and I might make some comments over the years but if it isn't interfering with our life, it doesn't really matter what I think. I can't imagine playing the exact same game for like 10 years. I think it is a bit nutty. But that is HIS hobby and his right to do so. Just because partners think or express an opinion doesn't mean they have any control over it. Ironically he now will set some stuff out, tell me what extra stuff he put in a meal, etc. if he happens to cook but if I drag it out and get say something obsessive like, especially in public (but not with friends), he will not refrain from eye rolling. Honestly, I'm secure enough not to really care that he does that. I just continue, laugh about it and tell him my results.

Now months later, he is ready to lose weight. I don't have him on the MFP bandwagon but he'll listen to me if I consult my MFP and tell him what his options are. Go figure.

Oh and I also have a heart rate monitor, fit bit (a fancy cool pedometer), attend the gym multiple times a week, and I even have and use a food scale. So what. I'm doing this...

Let me repeat it again...

FOR ME!

You are doing this for YOU!

Fred4point0

A lot of the time partners not understanding mfp has to do with user being on too much. That was my case in the beginning. I been on since January and have to admit that it's pretty addicting especially if you are new to the whole new social media scene as I was. After one disagreement I begin to take a look at how much time I was spending on mfp while my wife was there with me. I should have been spending quality time with her. After I made some major adjustment to my workout schedule and mfp use the stares ended. I usually just hop on and off at home unless she's looking at some girlie stuff on her laptop at the same time. Otherwise I'm usually on here while working graveyard.

Impy84

Tell your "partner" Impy say's they're being a bouchdag.

A partner supports and at the least shows curiosity about your well being and the steps you are taking towards taking care of you.
Relax on logging so obviously if that will shut ur "partner" up. Mine doesn't even know when i log as i dont make a big show or production of it. But if it's working for you do not QUIT logging.