9 16 oz Beers

sz8soon

Thank you all for your opinions. Let me clear a few things up that got lost along the way

*drinking is 5-6 nights a week, not just a weekend night, or while watching the game
*I do have a toddler
*its expensive
*he's never drank hard alcohol at home until recently. The bottle he drank was in addition to the six pack + a night

I am not teetotaler, I enjoy a good drink or few. As I mentioned I grew up differently. Before talking to him about my concerns I wanted to poll others to see if the issue was as big as I thought it was or if it was a me being naive thing. (as stated I grew up in a bubble) I have brought it up in the past and it got pretty ugly, him basically telling me I was weird and would just have to deal with it. I just thought I'd check to see if I was the weird one. So instead of bringing it up yet again should I be blowing it out of proportion. He's not belligerent, pass out, fall down silly. He gets argumentative, defensive and its easier for me to avoid him by that point and go to bed. So what if you can tolerate a lot of alcohol, its not great for your body that shouldn't be the argument to support the acceptance of that volume.

Its clearly not a black and white issue. I will take the time to look into the links and programs out there to help myself with this.

sz8soon

Responding from my phone just made it seem like I knocked a few back before writing..eek. Messed up the grammar and punctuation bad. Don't blast me for that please...I can see it, I just can't fix it from here.

debjae

I am leaning towards major concern.

ScottFree_66

The only thing you can do about his drinking is change your reaction to it You do this by attending Alanon. You can not help him but that program will help you change you.

I think a lot of people are confused as to what the true definition of an alcoholic is. They come in many different forms, but one thing that is constant, an alcoholic drinks, even when concern is shown and asked not to. They can not stop with out wanting to and many times help.

^^^ This ^^^

LizHowerton

Al Anon ....try going....

DJTJ34

beer is good. I drink it almost every weekend. and when i do i easily drink a twelve pack....thats why i buy a case!!!!(24)

magj0y

Thank you all for your opinions. Let me clear a few things up that got lost along the way

*drinking is 5-6 nights a week, not just a weekend night, or while watching the game
*I do have a toddler
*its expensive
*he's never drank hard alcohol at home until recently. The bottle he drank was in addition to the six pack + a night

I am not teetotaler, I enjoy a good drink or few. As I mentioned I grew up differently. Before talking to him about my concerns I wanted to poll others to see if the issue was as big as I thought it was or if it was a me being naive thing. (as stated I grew up in a bubble) I have brought it up in the past and it got pretty ugly, him basically telling me I was weird and would just have to deal with it. I just thought I'd check to see if I was the weird one. So instead of bringing it up yet again should I be blowing it out of proportion. He's not belligerent, pass out, fall down silly. He gets argumentative, defensive and its easier for me to avoid him by that point and go to bed. So what if you can tolerate a lot of alcohol, its not great for your body that shouldn't be the argument to support the acceptance of that volume.

Its clearly not a black and white issue. I will take the time to look into the links and programs out there to help myself with this.

That's why I said 9 beers isn't a huge thing, so long as it isn't a regular every day occurance. 2-3 beers 5-6 nights a week, imo, isn't a huge thing.. so long as you can afford it. You mentioned he finished the 5th over a period of a 2 weeks.. which is about 1 shot/day. it seems his stress level has grown and this is his way of dealing with it.

I would think about how to talk to him with out him feeling like he's being accused of being an alcoholic, a bad husband or bad father. "You know, when you drink to excess, you become difficult to deal with..." That you worry that it *might* become an alcoholic. You do have every right to ask him not to drink when he is the sole caretaker of your guys' toddler. and I think he should respect that. When I was visiting my fam out in cali, we all watched a movie and popped open a bottle of wine. It was just natural with the family. for me... it's like drinking soda. I enjoy the taste of it. Maybe he just wants some quiet time to relax. I remember when my kids were that young and the stress level was much higher than I was used to. I enjoyed the quiet time I cut out for myself after they went to bed. Was it drinking? No... but time to relax is important.

**while 9 isn't easy on your body, some people process alcohol easier than others. For -me- waking up after a night of heavy drinking is the same as waking up after a few days of no drinking. Everybody is different, that's all I was saying, not :supporting:" regularly drinking heavy 9 large beers every single night"* just on occasion.

redheaddee

I drink beer because it tastes better than water. Some nights I have none, some nights only one when I cook (I love a beer while I cook!), sometimes I will clean out the fridge. I don't need them, I like them (and will admit I am a complete beer snob, so you will NEVER see me with a Mic-Bud-Coors crap. Ever.). Unless there are other problems, such as buying beer when you can't pay the bills, or if he's an angry drunk, then let the man be for god's sake.

I say this as a woman, but damn women need to let their men breathe. You are not his mother.

acasey0123

one of my roomies he a couple of times by himself (me and my other roomie werent drinking) had 15 cans of beer in one night and he did that a couple of times or he would play power hour by himself and thats like consuming 8 beers in an hour...other guy friends would do the same

SFBarbear

I guess what bothers me more is how his wife is putting his/their business out over the internet for anybody to know. It really isn't anybodies business but his and yours. I would be sorely pissed if my spouse aired our laundry out for thousands to see.

magj0y

I guess what bothers me more is how his wife is putting his/their business out over the internet for anybody to know. It really isn't anybodies business but his and yours. I would be sorely pissed if my spouse aired our laundry out for thousands to see.

She's not asking her pastor, neighbor, close friends they see on a regular basis or the mailman. She's asking a group of people who don't know her or her husband. I would think talking about it in al-anon with people who live in her area and might see her around town would be rougher for the husband.

sz8soon

I guess what bothers me more is how his wife is putting his/their business out over the internet for anybody to know. It really isn't anybodies business but his and yours. I would be sorely pissed if my spouse aired our laundry out for thousands to see.

She's not asking her pastor, neighbor, close friends they see on a regular basis or the mailman. She's asking a group of people who don't know her or her husband. I would think talking about it in al-anon with people who live in her area and might see her around town would be rougher for the husband.

I am from a relatively small town, "blasting" it out on this forum is likely to have little to no impact on him or my family. Anonymity would be much harder should I have sought opinions of others in my town.

Taking the time to try to understand a spouses point of view instead of pushing my ideas and try to change him would have been a much better route to follow another then. Its something we don't see eye to eye on, I'm not nagging on him when he opens another, or fills the garbage with empties, leaves then stacked along side his recliner. Its not a topic of daily conversion.

MantisToboggan_MD

Were they at least good quality beers? I mean, if they were Bud Light, Miller Lite or any of that other crap then yes, you should be pissed! If they were quality brews such as 'Anything not made by the ;arge breweries", then cut him some slack! :drinker: :drinker: :bigsmile:
But seriously, thats a LOT of beer in one night, especially just to 'wind down':glasses:

If it was MillerBudCoors swill, OP has reason to be concerned about his less than stellar taste. He's unlikely to be drunk (unless you subscribe to the State's measurement).

If he's drinking IPAs, just have him look up the calories on MFP. That changed my intake.

vfnmoody

Seriously if he is drinking and hiding it than you might have a problem. Talk to him.
Get help for yourself and your child if the two of you cannot reach an understanding.
The home he grew up in is just that. It is not the home he lives in now. The home you grew up in is just that .It is not the home you live in now. You need to make a new home with new normals. Hopefully you can do that together.

It may be strange to others but it only needs to work for the three of you.

I have not drank since 1983(?maybe 85) My wife drinks. If I every start to drink she will be gone . Fortunately I have no wish to drink. Our home our rules

sz8soon

Were they at least good quality beers? I mean, if they were Bud Light, Miller Lite or any of that other crap then yes, you should be pissed! If they were quality brews such as 'Anything not made by the ;arge breweries", then cut him some slack! :drinker: :drinker: :bigsmile:
But seriously, thats a LOT of beer in one night, especially just to 'wind down':glasses:

If it was MillerBudCoors swill, OP has reason to be concerned about his less than stellar taste. He's unlikely to be drunk (unless you subscribe to the State's measurement).

If he's drinking IPAs, just have him look up the calories on MFP. That changed my intake.

For the record it is the nasty, "lights" bud light, coors light, Busch light. piss water really.