Does it bother you that NOBODY NOTICES!

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  • ravenrxx
    ravenrxx Posts: 455 Member
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    Have you bought some slimmer fitting clothes? I bet people would notice a difference then.

    I agree. I feel you though girl...But, You know, You can't expect nothing from anyone..Or you'll neva be happy!
  • DawnEH612
    DawnEH612 Posts: 574 Member
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    I think that some people just don't notice until about 20-30 pounds. REALLY!.. I also believe the ones that do notice aren't sure how to say it, worried how you might take it. I had that a lot until one person got the nerve to ask and I was brutally honest with what i had done and then, like one of the other posters said, everyone gathered around to hear about the magic weight loss wand....

    I also bought better fitting clothes and the real eye opener was when I went from wearing loose fitting clothes at the gym to sleeveless tanks and form fitting bottoms... Everyone came over and asked, as if it magically happened overnight, "did you loose weight.". Of course parts of me wanted to be a smart *kitten* and be like, "ah, yeah for the past X months now, thanks for noticing" but the other part really just wanted to stay positive and be an inspiration to others that seemed interested in how to make it happen in their lives.

    One more idea, some people feel that if they acknowledge your weight loss they will ave to acknowledge their own need to loose weight or develop a healthier lifestyle. Many of them may not want to acknowledge that in their life so they won't in ours. It may be because fear of failure, they aren't ready to change or maybe even jealous that ou could change and thief past attempts landed in failure.

    Don't worry about others. The compliments will come and accept them graciously when they do. Until then continue to tell yourself how wonderful you look!

    http://photos.myfitnesspalllc.netdna-cdn.com/images/photos/192/343/18192343_1993.jpg
  • jaireed
    jaireed Posts: 333 Member
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    First off, awesome job on the weight loss! That is a lot of work and it should be noticed and congratulated! I think people are uncomfortable talking about weight at work. If they mention you look great now, does it mean you didn't before? Only a handful of people have mentioned my weight loss and it perplexes me as well, especially after not seeing anyone over the summer. My solution for you? Post your pics and let us see the difference! You got a whole heck of a lot of people here who would appreciate your success and congratulate you on it. :wink:
  • Laddiegirl
    Laddiegirl Posts: 382 Member
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    Some people just don't say anything because they don't want to somehow offend you by pointing out that you've lost a lot of weight. I know it sounds weird, its the one time you want people to notice your weight, lol!

    I've lost 17 lbs, gone down a full dress/pant size and there is a noticeable difference in my face, stomach, waist and hips. The only person whose said anything is my boyfriend and he said he started to notice because I started wearing shirts I haven't worn in over a year. Heck at least he notices my shirts, lol!
  • tvanhooser
    tvanhooser Posts: 326 Member
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    Personally, I'd rather have some people say nothing than to obsess over it and find it impossible to talk to me about anything else as if that's the only thing going on in my life right now or even the most important thing or that I am in anyway defined as a human being in the essentials of who I am only or even largely by my weight. I find that incredible shallowness EXTREMELY ANNOYING. The people who matter to me give me a compliment or kudos or cheer me on, which I try to take graciously without camping on it, and then move on to more important topics and care about who I really am, not my body size. That's just me though maybe...
  • LinDiSm26262
    LinDiSm26262 Posts: 234 Member
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    Just do what someone I know does. Walk around telling everyone how much you've lost and keep bringing up that your pants are falling off, even though they don't look loose in any way shape or form.


    This is so funny!!!! Thanks for making me laugh!:laugh: :laugh:
  • RunMyOregonBunsOff
    RunMyOregonBunsOff Posts: 862 Member
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    I have lost 20 lbs and only one person has said something about (last Saturday) and it was great that she noticed but at the same time I feel kind of bummed when I see this huge difference and nobody else seems to see anything at all. As long as you know that you look better, feel healthier and are in better shape then you are good. Just remember that you don't need their comments to validate the work that you have done!
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
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    It's understandable that you want your success to be recognized - 25 pounds is a huge achievement. But not everyone feels it's appropriate to compliment someone on a weight loss. It can be taken the wrong way by some people. "You've lost a lot of weight" can be heard as "You used to be really fat." And some people are embarrassed about the way they used to look, and hope that others won't remember how plump they used to be.

    I've lost 90 pounds and it's really noticeable. Some friends can't stop talking about it. It felt nice at first, but now it's annoying (but I'm gracious.) Some friends have never said a word, and it makes me feel as though my previous weight was never an issue to them, and that's really nice.

    On the flip side, one of those friends who always praises me for my weight loss, actually lost weight herself over the summer - 25 pounds. I was just so glad to see her again and hear all her news, that I didn't notice she looked slimmer. I think she felt like you're feeling now. I'm really sorry I didn't notice, but the truth is, she always looked really good to me.

    So to sum up, maybe your office friends:
    A. Didn't want to risk insulting you or embarrassing you
    B. Just love you for who you are, and weight is a non issue for them
    C. Think you always look fabulous!

    For what it's worth, *I* think it's fantastic you lost 25 pounds!! WTG!!
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
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    bump
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    jealously is an ugly thing!! When ur pretty, ppl want you to not suceseed they are mad at their life! I'm so happy for ya!! Keep on and the ppl that truly matter will notice!! Haters will hate and when they do, you know ur doing well!! Otherwise, they have nothing to hate and they'd move on!! Sad but true!!
  • NonDebutante3dot0
    NonDebutante3dot0 Posts: 42 Member
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    Dear OP,

    First of all, I'm sorry you are feeling unnoticed when you want to be noticed. :-(

    It might sound surprising, but many people believe a coworker's appearance/shape/weight is not appropriate to comment on. After all, sudden weight loss can result from serious illness, imagine how insensitive it would be for someone to congratulate weight loss in that context.

    Here is yet another perspective: for people recovering from eating disorders; compliments about weight loss are a double-edged sword. They arouse complex, ambivalent feelings. Because the more someone gushes about how FABULOUS you look and what a HUGE DIFFERENCE your weight loss makes, the more it implies this person found your previous appearance objectionable.

    Unless you are equally comfortable with people noticing and commenting on a weight GAIN, I don't recommend that you expect or encourage people outside of your intimate circle to "weigh-in" on your personal weight loss journey.
  • alimac92
    alimac92 Posts: 705 Member
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    The only time it bothered me was when I complimented my sister in law on her weight loss. She had lost loads and made out she didn't do it by exercise or diet it just happened naturally.

    I know that was a lie because six months before that she had bought a bicycle and was riding to an exercise class and was trying to get me to go too. She had to have changed her eating and she always drank gallons of regular coca cola so she must have cut back on that.

    So I lavished praise on her. She never said a word about my weight loss!
    It wasn't the same as hers and I'm 10 years older than her but I am pleased so far.
    I've gone down from a size 20 to a size 14 on top and from a size 16 to a size 12 in my shorts and jeans.

    As I say that was the only time. I'm losing weight for myself and to be healthy for my family.
    My fitness Pals don't judge and are always encouraging as are my immediate family and work colleagues.

    You are doing really well, we will notice here :bigsmile:
  • dena789
    dena789 Posts: 164 Member
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    I have found that the people who see me every day take longer to notice any change. It's the ones who I see only occasionally that will usually notice and comment.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    it sucks,but do you notice?that's all that matters

    This is so true. And it's also true that I'm tall, so 25 pounds on me is much less than 25 pounds on someone who is shorter. It's only 13% of my body weight (that's not a sarcastic comment).

    And it is also true that people are polite and awkward talking about weight - or even if someone looks good or not. (This is not true of my band - who talks about everything and definitely weight.)

    But I'm not fishing for compliments here. There are all these people here on MFP who have lost amazing amounts of weight that I am so impressed by. I am really happy to have lost this weight. I have never tried to lose weight before - quite an amazing thing for a 53 year old woman. But having lost it, it is also clear to me that I can - and should - drop another 15 pounds and get back to where I was when I graduated from college.

    Onward!
  • willing2try
    willing2try Posts: 23 Member
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    Don't be sorry. I think that is a very natural expectation. I still feel that way too sometimes, even though have lost only 20. I especially expect people whom I haven't seen in a while to notice it. I'm just grateful to be "barely overweight", instead of where I was before at 191.:happy: Only one person in my very sensitive, aware, group of 24 classical singers mentioned it.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    nobody said a thing to me till I hit 30# = ) after that everyone under the sun will want you to tell them how you did it then, they will not listen to a word you say because they want you to tell them where to get the magic pill that will do everything for them over night

    This.

    No one noticed on me until I hit about 30 lbs and 3 dress sizes down either.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    It was only really when I went to wearing my 'medium' fit t-shirts that a couple of friends were like "oh, wow!".
    I've got a big frame so a medium fit t-shirt is pretty snug around my chest etc (I'm male I should point out) so avoided wearing them when I had a gut.
    I always carried my weight quite well before and while I considered myself pretty fat (and the 3st of mostly fat I've lost agrees), I'm still told "I never considered you fat before", which kinda pleased me anyway.
  • BlueJean4114
    BlueJean4114 Posts: 595 Member
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    . But not everyone feels it's appropriate to compliment someone on a weight loss. It can be taken the wrong way by some people. "You've lost a lot of weight" can be heard as "You used to be really fat."





    this.
    I've actually had the uncomfortable moment, of seeing someone i hadn't seen a while, who is now markedly slimmer, and remarking, "Wow, you've lost weight, you look great!" and the person, who had been happy to see me til i said THAT, is now looking at me with obvious annoyment in her eyes. I wanted to crawl under the rug,:blushing: and that has left me a lil hesitant to ever mention weight-loss again. I have no idea why the pal almost glared at me for mentioning it, (was the person with her supposed to be unaware she'd lost weight?) no idea.
    or, maybe saying "wow, you've lost weight, you look great" sounds like
    "wow, you've lost weight AND NOW you look great, but you didn't used to look great"??

    no idea.... maybe that is bad combo,(?)--"you've lost weight, you look great"??
    but, my intent was good....but yeah, some ppl hear "you've lost weight" differently than others.
    Me, i can't wait til i ever hear those words, but, maybe not everyone IS wanting to discuss their weight changes..(?).



    AT ANY RATE, CONGRATS!!! BET YOU DO LOOK GREAT!! I know you FEEL better!!!:drinker: Treat yourself to a new outfit, and maybe even let those around you know, that you ARE a person who IS willing to discuss her transformation, by announcing, "Wow, looking forward to tonight, i've decided to celebrate i lost that 25th pound, by buying myself a new outfit as my reward!" or something....?
    then they will know it IS okay for them to mention it.
    ?????
  • NCchar130
    NCchar130 Posts: 955 Member
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    I think when people see you every day it isn't as noticeable, at least until you start wearing different clothes. I've had coworkers tell me I had "lost a ton of weight!" when I hadn't lost a pound. No one has noticed anything so far this time though I've lost 13 pounds, 5 inches of my hips, 5 off my waist and 4 off my bust! My husband had said I 'felt smaller' when he hugs me but it wasn't until he went out of town for a week with work and came back that he said, "wow, I really see it now, good job!"
  • julimonster
    julimonster Posts: 243 Member
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    LOL, I live in a town where I know NO ONE. I lost almost 50 lbs and just returned from a trip to see family, it was nice that someone finally noticed! best of luck to you

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