Does it bother you that NOBODY NOTICES!
Replies
-
Well first all CONGRATS! I will say I would care less what they thought. WHen I first joined my fitness pal I had coworkers and friends not giving me support at all. I got more my support from strangers on this site which is sad. Now that I have lost almost 14 pounds I wanna say LOOK AT NOW! lol0
-
When you live with a child or baby, you don't notice the day to day changes. Someone who hasn't seen the baby for two weeks will say, Wow he/she is getting big! I think it is the same when you are losing weight and people don't know you are dieting. I think there is a hesitation to ask to in fear of offending someone who hasn't said, I am on a diet.
I remember the first time I lost all my weight. I went from a 16 to a size 12 or smaller before people suddenly questioned...."have you lost weight?" Well duh was my feeling! hahaha0 -
I totally understand how you feel!!!! Nobody seems to notice if I put on weight or lose weight, makes me wonder why I bother.0
-
I'm sorry, I'm pouting. I lost 25 pounds this summer. I've lost 4" on my waist, 3 on my hips, and 2" on my bust. My clothes fit completely differently. My face looks thinner. My husband and my father and my mother all tell me I look great. I am now mid-range BMI for my height. I haven't been this weight for 20 years.
AND NOT ONE OF MY FRIENDS FROM WORK OR IN THE BAND I PLAY WITH HAS SAID A WORD! Okay, I don't need super congratulation. Yeah, you're not supposed to make personal comments about each other at work. But I didn't see them all summer and we've now been together 2 weeks and you'd think SOMEONE would notice!
Sorry. I'll stop venting. I know I'm not the center of the universe. But AGH!
Sounds like you're just fishing for compliments. I say AGH! to that.
That's rather rude of you. shame on you !!!...Sounds like she's just down that not one her friends noticed and feeling kinda blue about it. After all it's nice to be rewarded for hard work, and people noticing is a reward in this case..0 -
What bothers me is people who lose weight for "themselves" and then expect everyone to congratulate them and give them compliments. You did it for you right not for everyone else.0
-
Strangley the more weight I lost I started getting constant comments on my hair. People would say, "did you get your hair cut," or "did you change your hair?" I would come back with, "no, I changed my face, I've lost some weight!" I think most people are a little afriad to bring up weight loss for a multitude of reasons...one being, what if they just realize you look different, asked if you lost weight, but it turns out you had gained weight and they were mistaken. Anyhow, I find that I get the most comments when the seasons change. People really noticed how much smaller I was when I started wearing a lot of cute shorts and fitted tops and skirts this summer. That said, the last time people saw me wearing pants and jeans I was wearing a size 10 and am now buying 4's and 6's. So once I start wearing those this fall people will probably start commenting again. Hang in there, you're hard work will be noticed!0
-
Losing weight is about getting into better shape and overall health not looking for praise. Maybe THAT'S why they don't say anything, they know you relish the attention
And your rude too....
People come on quit being so freaking rude to others.0 -
Some people just don't notice. It happens. The people close to you who care about you notice it, and most importantly: YOU notice it.
Also: they might not want to bring it up because to say to someone: "You look like you've lost weight. You look great!" can imply: "You were fat and unattractive before." And they just want to avoid that. Also, if they don't know that you're actively trying to lose weight, they fear offending you in the event that you've been ill or had a family member pass away, or any other stressful thing that might cause you to stop eating.0 -
Heaven help me with the rude people today, what did no one say something nice to you so you feel the need to be rude and nasty to others? At least 3 people who posted so far need to go back to bed and get up on the right side this time.
It boggles my mind how rude and uncaring people can be.0 -
What bothers me is people who lose weight for "themselves" and then expect everyone to congratulate them and give them compliments. You did it for you right not for everyone else.
I kinda agree with this.
If you are losing weight for you why expect and get upset when no one else notices? Sure, it's great to have people notice and give compliments but personally it's not something I would spend the time getting upset over.
Take pride in what you have done so far.... don't be upset if no one compliments you.0 -
I wish I was in your position. I *HATE* it when people comment about it to me. "You've lost weight!" Really??!! Like I hadn't noticed it for myself?!! And then the "So how much have you lost then?" comments follow. Folks, it's none of your damn business. None of you would dare to ask me "So how much did you gain then?" when I was gaining, but suddenly it's OK to comment about my weight because I lost some? It's not OK. Aside from in here, and in another weight-loss group I was in, I haven't made a single post about my weight loss ANYWHERE on the internet, nor do I initiate any conversations about it in person. It's no-one's business but my own.
I figure that your family/friends etc either ran into someone like me previously (who eventually snapped and told them to, well, let's say "go away")... or they're the kind of people who see things like I do, that it's flat-out rude to comment on someone's weight, unless *they* initiate the conversation.
That is true. The wife of a friend of mine lost 300 pounds at age 30. She had to have surgery because her bones were shattering from her weight. I did not know that she was having problems or was having surgery.
When I saw her I did not recognize her - not even vaguely. It was only when she said hi and started talking and almost re-introduced herself that I realized who she was. And I never said a word because I thought it was such an obvious change that it was too personal to comment on.0 -
My best friend at work told me that she didn't say anything when she first saw me after two months (we're teachers) because she didn't want to embarrass me. She wondered if by saying how good I look now, I would think she was implying I didn't look good before. Stand tall and be proud of your accomplishments. You are doing this for yourself, not for the reaction you get from others.0
-
Losing weight is about getting into better shape and overall health not looking for praise. Maybe THAT'S why they don't say anything, they know you relish the attention
And your rude too....
People come on quit being so freaking rude to others.
You're, not getting the point. Yes, comments on how well someone looks after weight loss is good/important but even if the person doesn't get comments, they should still be happy with themselves.0 -
It's hard to see it on ourselves sometimes since it's so gradual, so it's nice to get some outside validation once in a while. I lost 30 lbs with WW before quitting that and joining here and using MFP, and it took until I lost those 30 lbs before co-workers (who did not know I had changed my eating habits) said anything to me asking if I'd lost weight. Great job on the weight lost so far!0
-
My SIL has told me that she lost 25lbs and I can't tell. I only know this because she told me. My mom has also lost 20lbs. Again, I only know this because she has told me. People carry their weight differently. Sometimes it's not noticeable to others until they have lost a bit more. Keep doing what you are doing, don't give up just because your co-irkers don't notice. They will in time. You just need to give them time to take note.0
-
I understand how you feel OP! Unlike you though I haven't lost major pounds, but I have lost major body fat and inches. My clothes fit completely differently (no more muffin top!), my face looks much thinner, my collarbone and hip bones are easily visible, and cellulite is almost totally invisible. I'm not lumpy, bumpy and jiggly anymore--I'm small, toned and fit.
When I see friends I haven't seen in months and they don't say anything about how I've changed, it is a little disappointing. But I know I am so much healthier and happier in my own skin, so I try not to let it discourage me. I know that I was never really "fat" to begin with, just very out of shape, and clothes did a good job of hiding my figure flaws, so I just chalk it up to that and remember that my body can do things now that it couldn't do 6 months.0 -
I had a co-worker who lost 50 lbs before any of us noticed. I didn't even think she was overweight in the first place. It wasn't until after she work form fitting clothes that she mentioned she had lost the 50 lbs. Most people don't see a size, they see a person so they aren't observing the details of our figures they way we are - you know, our own worse critic and all. Know that you have done a great job working towards a healthier lifestyle and the proof in your body is the your reward. People will notice but shouldn't be a driving force. You'd be upset if they mentioned you put on pounds so don't fret them not saying anything about losing weight.0
-
In truth, it's not that I'm looking for compliments.
The truth is, sometimes I wonder if I am imagining that I look different and need some validation that it is, in fact, true.0 -
Everyone has different motivation. Yours is obviously external, and you need people to notice and you need the attention/validation. Nothin' wrong with that.
I used to not understand that, as I'm totally the opposite. I would just tell you to do things for you, and not worry so much about what people think, because in the end it's *you* that knows you've worked your *kitten* off to lose weight. Be proud of that.
Yeah, my motivation is internal. I need to be ok with myself, I don't need others to tell me I've done a good job. So I'm probably the wrong person to answer this. LOL. But you keep going on with your bad self... keep on keepin on.0 -
I've had this too. Don't get me wrong - it doesn't really bother me, per se, just thought it was strange that very few had said anything about it.
Finally last week a girl I work asked me where half of me had gone and if I were dieting. After we got to talking, another girl joined the conversation. She said she had noticed but didn't want to bring it up - the last time she asked if a friend had lost weight, she was told that her friend 'had lost weight because she was seriously ill', needless to say she was totally embarrassed and never gone there since!
I think people do notice, just don't really know how to bring it up or how to discuss...0 -
Nope! I don't really care to discuss this with my co-workers and friends. I asked one of them to be my "accountability coach" and she never responded. There is only one person outside of my immediate household with whom I talk about my specific efforts, goals, and progress, and her only briefly. I chose her because she'll be mildly encouraging, but not make too much of the topic. She'll listen to me, but not talk to others about it at all. She won't go too far in her comments or questions, but since I know she knows, I feel a bit accountable to her. Maybe that's because she's also my boss at work? At any rate, I have no desire to fuel any gossip mills, and bless them, at least most of my co-workers would go there. So if I fly under the radar, that's fine with me. I've lost 25 of 85 targeted pounds, my tops fit quite loosely now (so much so that I may have to buy more at an interim size), and I think my face appears thinner, but as the one who sees herself in the mirror each day I can't really say for sure.
We'll see if my attitude changes as I progress.0 -
25lbs is a great loss! Hell - you DESERVE TO FISH! lol :-)
I have the opposite problem. I don't really like ANYONE to mention it.
I mean, it's fine to say 'you look great' but when I get the 'HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? WHAT PILLS DID YOU TAKE?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS" that's when I get weirded out lol.0 -
I don't compliment my coworkers. Mess around and get sued and fired or fired and sued. In any case, it's a good way to lose some money.0
-
I have lost 25 lbs. and people are just now saying something about it. I think it takes some people awhile! Don't get discouraged - just keep up the great work!0
-
Don't forget that coworkers see you every day and the change to them is gradual. Had they not seen you for an entire summer and then you return to work looking like a whole new person as what happened with me then I'm sure they would have been praising you and doing the OMG Look at you!! routine as my friends did when they saw me for the first time in 3 months.
Don't go looking for praise at work especially. They probably feel uncomfortable saying anything because then it may be as if they thought you were fat before and they don't want you to think that they thought that of you. As for your friends it could be the same thing. They may feel if they comment that you've lost weight that means they're saying you used to be fat. Friends don't like to tell their friends that they're fat.0 -
Losing weight is about getting into better shape and overall health not looking for praise. Maybe THAT'S why they don't say anything, they know you relish the attention
And your rude too....
People come on quit being so freaking rude to others.
You're, not getting the point. Yes, comments on how well someone looks after weight loss is good/important but even if the person doesn't get comments, they should still be happy with themselves.
Your not getting the point......being rude to her doesn't make her feel any better. This is about SUPPORT the least you could do is support her not tell her she's pouting about not getting comments. You may not care that no one notices but she just wanted her FRIENDS to notice and they didn't and it bummed her out. Sometimes your entitled to a pitty party. But some of you people are making her feel like she's wrong in feeling bad no one noticed. I'm sure she's thankful her husband and family notices but you want your friends to see your process too. She's not asking a lot.0 -
It could be worse...
I lost over summer break, too, but only around 12.5 pounds. I commented to a coworker that she looked like she had lost weight and she smiled ear-to-ear and said she had lost 12 pounds. She didn't say a word to me.
Now I am down 10 pounds more (total 22.5 since before summer break) and I am down two pants sizes. I am getting sick and tired of the compliments.
That same teacher has not lost any additional weight, that is visible anyways, and I catch her once in awhile looking me up and down but she has not commented on my weight loss.
Here's the worse part...
The school secretary the other day, in front of another secretary, another teacher, and a parent helper, said, "Is it true you've lost weight because people keep talking about it, but I just don't see it." I said yes and told her how much I had lost and that I had gone down from size 18 to size 14. She said, "Hmm, I don't know why I can't tell." She then told me that a parent is the one that mentioned it to her.
What was her motivation for that?
I think it back fired on her because the other secretary said, "See, I told you!" And the mom that was helping in the office said, "I tell her all the time I can't believe how small she's getting!" So it kind of made her look foolish. I didn't even know how to respond?!?! I mean what did she want me to say? Really? I just said, "I don't know." And she goes, "Well, maybe it's because I see you all the time." The other teacher said, "Oh I see her all the time and I can really tell, especially when she wears proper sizes." This left me thinking she was just being purposely mean. All the others who were within ear shot, listening to this, were confirming they had noticed.
I don't get some people.
But, I don't let it get to me! Jokes on them. I don't do this for ANYONE ELSE. I do this for MYSELF. I am my own motivator, my own cheerleader, my own worst critic... I attribute ALL of my success to the fact that I couldn't care less about what anyone else says or thinks. I care about what I think, see, feel....
Hang in there. Do what makes YOU happy and do it for YOU!
0 -
My SIL has told me that she lost 25lbs and I can't tell. I only know this because she told me. My mom has also lost 20lbs. Again, I only know this because she has told me. People carry their weight differently. Sometimes it's not noticeable to others until they have lost a bit more. Keep doing what you are doing, don't give up just because your co-irkers don't notice. They will in time. You just need to give them time to take note.
This is VERY true! When I told my MIL that I lost 43 pounds the first time she saw me she was freaking out. You can obviously see that I lost so much weight. Going from a size 14/16 jeans to a size 10 is very noticeable. She then turned to me and said I lost 20 lbs so what do you think? I had to fake a look of happiness,surprise etc because quite frankly I couldn't tell at all that she lost weight. She only went down one size and was still in an XL. Going from a 1x to an XL is not that big of a difference.0 -
Personally, I am careful about commenting on weight loss because you never know if it was really a *good thing* for that person. I have heard stories from quite a few people who lost a bunch of weight because they were sick or because they were emotionally distraught and stopped eating entirely, or because they picked up a bad cocaine habit or whatever, and had people commenting telling them they looked great, or that they looked HEALTHY when they were actually farther from healthy than ever. That's just f*cked up.
If I know someone has been working on weight loss consciously, exercising, eating well, and that they are happy about it and proud of themselves, I will comment then. I will NOT comment if they've never mentioned it and if I have no idea whether or not they lost the weight on purpose.0 -
A woman at work has lost some weight and I was hesitant to say anything because she also has some health issues. But I went for it and she happily thanked me and told me she was dieting.
About 10 years ago I lost 34 lbs on WW and a woman at work asked a friend if I was sick or dieting. Then after finding out I was okay congratulated me. But yeah, it took about 30 lbs and being to goal before anyone said anything.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions