What is considered 'cheating' (mature relationships)

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  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    I agree with you OP. To be faithful not only includes physical actions, but emotional as well. The one you promise yourself to should not only be the only one getting your body, but your heart and soul as well.

    I agree. :)
  • phynyxfyre
    phynyxfyre Posts: 145 Member
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    Cheating, in my book, is when you are doing anything you wouldn't want your partner to catch you doing. IE: emailing an old flame IF you wouldn't feel comfortable with them sitting right beside you. I also had an ex who stared at another gal's behind and almost drove into a pole with me in the car! NOT cool. (Partially because my behind is very nearly perfect!)

    I am bad in that I also generally assume that if your SO is not getting it from you, they must be getting it somewhere. Therefore long withholding stints DO NOT occur in my relationship. ;)
  • hayjazz18
    hayjazz18 Posts: 6
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    In an open relationship ( I have experience in this) cheating can be defined as anything that goes against you and your partner's pre established rules ( if you don't have any rules, you SHOULD NOT be in an open relationship).


    And lying=cheating. If you can't be honest and communicate with your partner, it is a betrayal of loyalty. Really, if you know it will hurt your partner, then it can't be good...
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
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    I don't mind if he has a close female friend, since she was around long before me, and I would expect the same consideration since some of my best friends are male.

    That said, I'd be upset if he went to her first for advice or celebrations about something instead of me, and I'd feel wrong sharing happy news with a male friend first or going to that friend for advice.

    The physical stuff is right out. I don't mind hugs and a peck on the cheek, or even some cuddling, but making out, sexting, and actually having sex are not approved.

    That's our relationship, though. Everyone decides the rules for their own particular relationship, and I don't judge them. Some people have a problem with their SO hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex, and if that works for them and their SO, then whatever. Some people have open relationships, and it works fine for them. Again, more power to them. I make the rules for my life, and they make the rules for their own lives.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    it's cheating when you get caught.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Cheating, in my book, is when you are doing anything you wouldn't want your partner to catch you doing. IE: emailing an old flame IF you wouldn't feel comfortable with them sitting right beside you. I also had an ex who stared at another gal's behind and almost drove into a pole with me in the car! NOT cool. (Partially because my behind is very nearly perfect!)

    I am bad in that I also generally assume that if your SO is not getting it from you, they must be getting it somewhere. Therefore long withholding stints DO NOT occur in my relationship. ;)
    LOL I hope you don't find his pr0n collection.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    I think cheating is emotional, mental, and physical. If you're doing something that you don't want your SO to know about you're cheating.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    it's cheating when you get caught.
    That's probably more true than most people realize.

    Or at least closer to reality anyway.
  • phynyxfyre
    phynyxfyre Posts: 145 Member
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    Cheating, in my book, is when you are doing anything you wouldn't want your partner to catch you doing. IE: emailing an old flame IF you wouldn't feel comfortable with them sitting right beside you. I also had an ex who stared at another gal's behind and almost drove into a pole with me in the car! NOT cool. (Partially because my behind is very nearly perfect!)

    I am bad in that I also generally assume that if your SO is not getting it from you, they must be getting it somewhere. Therefore long withholding stints DO NOT occur in my relationship. ;)
    LOL I hope you don't find his pr0n collection.

    LOL. Actually, he is one of the rare ones that doesn't have one. Well, he has pictures, but not any published ones....and he is NOT allowed to share them. He does other natural things occasionally, but usually I am the one pestering and he is the one with the "headache". Guess I am just too... demanding..:blushing:
  • DaisyHamilton
    DaisyHamilton Posts: 575 Member
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    "If you don't want him/her to do it, don't do it."
    That's my rule.
  • astrylian
    astrylian Posts: 194 Member
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    Purposely concealing something from your significant other in any sort of relationship, monogamous or not, is very unhealthy. Not necessarily cheating, but not a pleasant situation. Every couple has different needs.
  • Charger440
    Charger440 Posts: 1,474 Member
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    UGH!!! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you......That phrase says a lot.
  • PapaDunx
    PapaDunx Posts: 243
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    According to the couple's own pre-defined rules, its something that the other person would see as a betrayal of trust.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    UGH!!! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you......That phrase says a lot.
    Sometimes one person doesn't care if the other did a certain thing to them, so that would justify them doing it even if the other would find it hurtful.
  • Charger440
    Charger440 Posts: 1,474 Member
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    UGH!!! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you......That phrase says a lot.
    Sometimes one person doesn't care if the other did a certain thing to them, so that would justify them doing it even if the other would find it hurtful.

    Your just looking to argue or to find justifications in your actions....I hope you find what your looking for.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    UGH!!! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you......That phrase says a lot.
    Sometimes one person doesn't care if the other did a certain thing to them, so that would justify them doing it even if the other would find it hurtful.

    Your just looking to argue or to find justifications in your actions....I hope you find what your looking for.

    No. I'm not. No need to pick fights over it.
  • Temporalia
    Temporalia Posts: 1,151 Member
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    According to the couple's own pre-defined rules, its something that the other person would see as a betrayal of trust.

    Exactly, to each their own
  • Wol5894
    Wol5894 Posts: 127 Member
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    If you look at anyone and think they are attractive you are cheating. If I ever catch my wife looking in a calvin klein catalog, its divorce time.

    I hope you are not serious! My near 37 years of marriage would be in tatters by now if hubby and I lived like that. Just like dieting, you can look at the menu but you don't have to eat - I still like my eye candy from time to time and he appreciates a pretty lady.

    What it boils down to is the rules made in an individual relationship and whether you trust and love each other.
  • DawnEH612
    DawnEH612 Posts: 574 Member
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    Given my past hx, I will take cheating even further than most of you will. I think cheating is doing anything that "cheats" the relatinshionship of its full potentional. So, that could be one of the people giving and/or receiving emotional attention from someone outside of the relationship or, in my case, having a partner that was using/abusing drugs behind my back which kept him physically, mentally and emotionally disconnected from me. I ultimately left the relationship as my needs went unmet for far too long.

    A good rule of thumb... If you aren't willing to do it while your S.O. is there, then its not good for the relationship! Meaning, if you were doing something and your S.O. was not present but then he or she showed up, unexpectedly, would you be like "oh, hi, honey" or would your gut sink and say, " oh *kitten*! How do I explain this?"
  • ashlensmomma
    ashlensmomma Posts: 124 Member
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    In my eyes cheating is anytime you turn to someone other than your spouse/SO for something you would normally get from them. Theres both physical and emotional cheating...both are hard to recover from.

    This^

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