"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

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  • audreanna76
    audreanna76 Posts: 82
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    I've heard "You have a pretty face" before and "I bet you were hot when you were thinner". I just laugh it off and do the best I can to not get offended and hurt.
  • hellohappylisa
    hellohappylisa Posts: 141 Member
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    It boggles my mind how someone could say something so rude! Keep your thoughts to yourself!!
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    Dang, did you tell him he would be attractive to women if he could quit being a **** all the time! I don't even know what I would do if that happened to me.

    I mainly just stood there gaping like a goldfish. Of course I thought of all sorts of awesome comebacks the next day... :grumble:

    The ironic thing is that he was skinny and bald and funny looking - so not a exactly poster boy for the idealised version of beauty himself.

    THEY NEVER ARE! Amirite?

    Seriously. And if I had a dollar for every jerk who talked smack about my weight who hadn't seen the inside of a gym in a decade or never passed up a buffet, I'd be hiring a personal trainer and home chef.

    I get where people are coming from in this thread when they talk about people telling you the truth about losing weight... but how many people here think it's okay to give that kind of advice to strangers or coworkers unbidden? How many people walk past the smokers outside your offices and say something like "You know you'd probably live a longer, healthier life if you'd quit." And let's face it, the people doing the lecturing in this case don't care about health. They care about the OUTSIDE of whoever they are looking at. "You'd be prettier." Really? I've seen plenty of people who didn't look prettier. Remember Starr Jones? Her face was so pretty... and then she lost weight and she looked like an alien. So no, you don't automatically get pretty when you lose weight. NEWSFLASH: you have to be pretty to begin with, and there isn't a guarantee that you'll stay that way as every person's experience/result is different.

    This is why I don't listen to Howard Stern. Because he'd call me "Another Fat Chick with a Pretty Face" and I'm all set with that mentality.

    When I lose weight, I will weigh less.
    When I work out, I will be in shape.
    When I do what's right for my health, I'll feel better.

    But I'm pretty right now, and I always have been.


    Hey, OP. Take your power back from those people. Do what you want to do for all the right reasons, and forget the rest.
  • butterflyfairy2
    butterflyfairy2 Posts: 96 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.


    My grandma has done this to me and other members of my family on numerous occasions. Now she has gained some weight so it makes me laugh and I kinda think Karma has come around to visit her lol.
    One time she really upset me. I had just had my daughter, she was 2 months early and I had an emergency c-section/hysterectomy and was so upset over that whole mess and she pats my stomach and says "You still look like you are pregnant". I just wanted to cry.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    This is such an ignorant thing to say.

    If you'd be pretty skinny then you're pretty now.

    I have had people say this to me and my response has been: What? So you think I'm ugly now then?

    That usually puts them in their place and I'm a jerk when insulted so I don't let it go. Ever. I torment them for weeks to come with: So and so says I'm ugly. Am I ugly?

    So. Much. Retribution.
  • bookwormwendy
    bookwormwendy Posts: 112 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    Once had an older gentleman (a complete stranger) tell me, "You should lose that weight while you're young. If I were a young man, I wouldn't court no big girls." :noway: :angry:

    To which you reply: "Lucky for both of us I don't date *kitten*." :happy:
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
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    My grandmother used to tell me this all the time. When I was 8. She was always incredibly vocal about her dislike of "fat people" and liked to tell me that I was one of them. I have always been a sensitive person, and I honestly believe that her criticism scarred me. I need to work on thicker skin!
  • GuineaMother
    GuineaMother Posts: 59 Member
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    AND- my own dad once said to me 'Eating well, are you?' F*%$ off!!!!!!!
    Sorry, this thread is making me remember all the times....
  • Najay
    Najay Posts: 273 Member
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    WTF. They need to be slapped. Skinny does not equal pretty. I know plenty of people who are skinny and miserable. This makes them so UGLY inside and out. This is what is wrong with the world now.
  • anamy90
    anamy90 Posts: 43
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    People mean it as a compliment. It's just a double sided one. IGNORE her.

    I have had it said to me many times, even as a kid when they said 'when you lose that puppy fat'.

    Worst one for me was from a guy i consider to be my friend.

    "You should lose some weight, i don't mind because i like your face and eyes, offers still there," Which is took to mean your fat but i can deal with it because your face is nice and i fancy a %^&£!!.
  • kaykayvoodoodoll
    kaykayvoodoodoll Posts: 19 Member
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    THEY ARE JUST PLAIN RUDE --- like really? sorry I am so fat it makes me NOT that pretty .....I'd be pissed of and she would of felt it ....

    your really pretty no matter what you weigh ....:heart:
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    His balls belong in a vice-grip. That is all.
  • jenny24_2004
    jenny24_2004 Posts: 5 Member
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    Ate my post....rrr.

    I was saying that the person who said that must have self esteem issues herself. There's no reason to say things like that to a person unless you're trying ot make your own self feel better by pointing out somebody else's flaws.:huh:
  • ken1994
    ken1994 Posts: 495 Member
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    Do not let somebody else define you, do your work and finish it for yourself!
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.
    This happened to me.. it was a guy though and we were dating. Emphasis on were! I found a guy who thought I was pretty all the time and now he is reaping the benefits of me being skinny and pretty.
  • timmymon
    timmymon Posts: 304 Member
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    Those peoples' opinions don't matter. Who cares what they think? Look how you want to look and don't let losers with big mouths tell you otherwise.

    That being said, I think anyone who has ever been overweight has heard things like this. Motivation, motivation, motivation!
  • Jalyst79
    Jalyst79 Posts: 50 Member
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    When I was in high school ( 20 years ago), there was a girl who told me I would be so pretty if I lost 20lbs. I wasn't even over weight! I was healthy, I just happend to have curves and boobs unlike every other girl in my class. I loved it when 5 years later she gained 50lbs and wasn't so skinny herself. Unfortunately, it took me years to realize that I don't have to be a certain weight to be "pretty enough or good enough".
  • leavingfat
    leavingfat Posts: 64 Member
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    I think people believe they're motivating or complimenting you, but...

    "You'd be pretty IF you were skinny."

    If.

    To me, that sounds like "You're too fat to be pretty. Sorry you aren't pretty. Maybe you should lose some weight."

    Which, incidentally, sounds like something a mean person in high school would say.

    I'd respect a person who said, "You're fat and you don't look good" more because at least they're saying what they mean.

    tl;dr Punch them.
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
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    its a terrible thing to hear .. and its not just women that hear it... I have been told "I would totally date you if you didn't look like you" There is one thing you can take away ... You can always lose weight ... but thier personality is stuck forever.
  • mzimm0
    mzimm0 Posts: 1 Member
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    That is definitely what is classified as a backhanded compliment.

    Sorry! I have heard that before as well.

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