"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

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  • meridons
    meridons Posts: 9
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    what they said ^
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.

    There's a reason why it makes you feel so sad and ugly: because it's a "CONDITIONAL" compliment. Not really a compliment.

    Think of what they are saying to you:

    "You'd BE pretty if you were thinner."

    Translation (basically what it means): "You're not attractive now, but you could be if you reached a socially acceptable image."

    It's NOT a compliment, and all people in this thread who are saying it is, are sorely mistaken.

    A compliment usually makes you feel good. This is an insult dressed as compliment.

    The same thing with "you have a pretty face." You may very well have a pretty face, but usually when people say that to overweight people, it translates to "Well, you're overweight, so I can't COMPLETELY compliment you. So, i'll just compliment your face."

    Actual compliments aren't conditional. Therefore, this is not a compliment and anyone who uses it as such is an *kitten*.
  • TheCurvyJ
    TheCurvyJ Posts: 43 Member
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    This is not a compliment. It should never be taken as such. It should motivate you to do nothing but avoid punching such a rude person in the neck.

    Keep on keepin' on.
  • funsiiz
    funsiiz Posts: 246 Member
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    If you can't say anything nice...don't say anything at all....
  • MaritaD
    MaritaD Posts: 178 Member
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    I'd have it happen to me. I took it as an insult. But then I decided you know what? I must have a really pretty face/smile/personality and as I am losing the weight I'm using it as motivation. I can lose weight but the person that said that to you can't gain a personality!
  • AJs_Mom29
    AJs_Mom29 Posts: 4 Member
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    How RUDE!!! People like this need to be slapped! Regardless of your size, whether big or small, tall or short, if you're beautiful then it shines from within. Even those so called "beauty queens" only have beauty for so long. It all fades away anyways. I like one other person's reply on here "you'd be smart if you weren't so stupid" haha :o) As long as you love yourself then people that say stupid stuff like this have no relevance on who you are.
  • KimberlyDCZ
    KimberlyDCZ Posts: 525 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    I totally would have drenched this guy!
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
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    Don't take it as a compliment as some have suggested. I would take it as; you are ugly, why don't you lose weight? Just rude.
  • Kussanna
    Kussanna Posts: 3
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    Next time it happens be honest and tell them that is simply rude and mean. That is the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard, and reminds me of horrible things bullies say as children. People need to grow up, get some manners, and learn some self control. It really means YOU are beautiful and they are too insensitive and insecure to tell you flat out. Pisses me off.
  • LeslieC1970
    LeslieC1970 Posts: 160
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    You are a better person than I am then! He deserved your full dress down. What a jerk!
  • ktadanthony5
    ktadanthony5 Posts: 10
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    I think you should use it as motivation, u said it does help you to loose weight. Althought i do think they could have said it a different way, cuz it did make it seem like they were trying to say you were ugly since your heavy, but im sure that is not what they meant, but they could have said it a different way. Ive never had anyone say that to me, but i say it to myself :/ when i used to be skinny before my kids, my face was skinny and to me i looked better, now that my face has got fat to, i feel i dont look as good...but all the more to help me loose weight. Anyways, like i said just use it to motivate you and make yourself happy dont do it for nobody else do it for yourself :)
  • flobeedoodle
    flobeedoodle Posts: 176 Member
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    Ugh, I can't even read this whole thread, for fear of reliving the trauma. Yes, this has happened. The specific phrase I would get always started "You have such a pretty face! If you lost some weight <<something the speaker thought I would want but probably didn't.>>" Everything I want to say won't make it past the filter here. Unless losing weight will cause the brain behind my pretty face to win a f**king Turing award, I don't give two square sh!ts about what someone else thinks about my appearance. I am trying to lose weight now, but because I want to, for me, for the hell of it. Not so that all the boys will like me, or so that I can wear fashionable clothes from where-the-f**k-ever is fashionable now.

    Whew. So bitter, sorry.

    (Is it still Abercrombie and Fitch? Is that where the cool kids still shop?)
  • ktadanthony5
    ktadanthony5 Posts: 10
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    Um i would have had to pour a drink on him! ur def a better person than me :/ i be like YOU DONT KNOW ME! hahaha
  • lorib75
    lorib75 Posts: 490 Member
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    Could be worse. My sister tells me I'm always going to have a derpy eye and acne no matter how skinny I get. :laugh:

    It doesn't matter what people think of you, unless you let it matter.

    ROTFL!!!
    SOUNDS JUST LIKE WHAT MY SISTER WOULD SAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
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    AND- my own dad once said to me 'Eating well, are you?' F*%$ off!!!!!!!
    Sorry, this thread is making me remember all the times....

    When I was younger I can remember a time where my mom was buying me a shirt and said should we get her a large? And my dad said "are you serious she's a fatass get a men's XL"
    still haunts me. needless to say me and my dad have no relationship.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.

    There's a reason why it makes you feel so sad and ugly: because it's a "CONDITIONAL" compliment. Not really a compliment.

    Think of what they are saying to you:

    "You'd BE pretty if you were thinner."

    Translation (basically what it means): "You're not attractive now, but you could be if you reached a socially acceptable image."

    It's NOT a compliment, and all people in this thread who are saying it is, are sorely mistaken.

    A compliment usually makes you feel good. This is an insult dressed as compliment.

    The same thing with "you have a pretty face." You may very well have a pretty face, but usually when people say that to overweight people, it translates to "Well, you're overweight, so I can't COMPLETELY compliment you. So, i'll just compliment your face."

    Actual compliments aren't conditional. Therefore, this is not a compliment and anyone who uses it as such is an *kitten*.

    This exactly.
  • rhonniema
    rhonniema Posts: 522
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    Answer: "I am pretty, I don't know about you though."
  • amysuespears
    amysuespears Posts: 127
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    This happens a lot. Remember that people are stupid and insensitive.
    ^ This.
  • Leannek74
    Leannek74 Posts: 374 Member
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    Whaaaaaaa? I cannot believe how many *kitten* there are out there. You obviously must be gorgeous and these freaks have a sick need to be passive agressive.

    You could always answer, 'That would be nice to hear, if you were a person I thought highly of.'.... or at least think it!
  • thistimeismytime
    thistimeismytime Posts: 711 Member
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    That's when you wanna say, "Awww, thanks, and you'd be really nice if you weren't such a condescending B&*ch." :bigsmile:

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