"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"
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You know what, when they say that to you put on a big on smile an say 'really?you think so? thanks! I know I am pretty but to be more prettier is awesome' then look in the mirror an fix your hair then pat your shoulder an say 'good job'. Because they keep saying you look pretty if you were smaller, but if you think about it, they saying that they don't think you will get smaller so they know they hurting you..but guess what...when you do get smaller..you should walk back to them an go 'boy am i pretty or what..no wait hot..thanks for the motivating words you gave me before!' an see if they have anything to say because they are so slow...cause they think they hurting you now but when you get smaller, they can't say anything negative because now the roles reversed an now your hurting them cause you look better than them now an they see you as a threat!
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Heard it all my life from my family and random people. Friends never seemed to say those kinds of things. People don't think before they speak and sometimes it really hurts. I just move past this and now I'm blowing people away, and I'm still 33 pounds away from my goal.
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Ive had this happen to me before and it really does piss me off to no extent. . .
ex: a girl about my age said " you'de look so much prettier if you were skinnier". . . so i said to her " youd be so much prettier if you were smarter and wore less make up looking like a *kitten*" and she shut up real quick. . .
I try not to let what people say influence my future BUT if they want to be idiotic and absent minded i have NO problem pointing out their flaws. . . . respect works both ways (even if its negative) and i only do it to show that the first person shouldnt have said what they did. . . . granted i get the "stacey, but ur stooping to their level". . . . no im not. . . im just showing them how stupid they really are and that they should keep their mouths shut. Beauty is on the inside. . . not int he form of rolls, extra chins, bingo fat arms, and anything else.0 -
i get told i'm ugly all the time, it makes me feel like complete crap then i eat!
i'm a good weight for my age but i feel under pressure now to be 100lbs, that seems to be what the people want!
ugh they make me sick, if i were you, i'd of slapped them!0 -
CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I'VE HEARD THIS? AND YES I'VE TAKEN IT AS AN INSULT TOO! I THINK PEOPLE JUST WANT TO MOTIVATE YOU BUT THEY SURE FIND AN INTERESTING WAY TO DO IT. APPARENTLY THERE ARE NO BEAUTIFUL HEAVY LADIES? WHICH IS BS, BECAUSE I SEE ALOT OF THIN AND NOT SO PRETTY AND ALOT OF HEAVY AND VERY PRETTY :-)0
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I would reply back...."Well I must be lucky. I can fix fat. You can't fix ugly".
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! exactly 0 -
Thats horrible. Some people need to stay quiet. There are plenty of ugly skinny people too. Just use it as motivation and show them how awesome you'll be!0
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That is an attempt at a compliment by a stupid person.
I would just ignore them.:yawn:0 -
Remember you can lose fat not ugly 0
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i get told i'm ugly all the time, it makes me feel like complete crap then i eat!
i'm a good weight for my age but i feel under pressure now to be 100lbs, that seems to be what the people want!
ugh they make me sick, if i were you, i'd of slapped them!
Ifpeople are telling you your ugly they are only doing it because they know your gorgeous and that they themselves are ugly. . . FYI. . . hers a little advice for the future. . . dont give a crap what epople say. . . dont let it get to u. . u are ur own destiny and really the only thing that matters in life is that ur happy. . not that u please everyone by being skinny and pretty. . .
and not all hollywood stars are pretty/handsome. . .
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"men with hair" Ha! Since my wife was pregnant with our first child I have had a crew cut. More hair is over rated.
I'd be more handsome if I was skinnier and 25 years younger too. I have the pictures to prove it. :bigsmile:
I used to joke that my wife likes me fat so other women won't hit on me. A twist of a joke from female comedians.
But I am the only one that prevents me losing weight. And I decided to finally get out of my own way.
I don't care what others think about my appearance. Enough so that I border on being a candidate for the TV show "What Not To Wear."
Funny thing is when I was younger, thin, long hair and better looking, I was more obsessed with how I looked to others. It is a lot less expensive to shop for clothes when one doesn't give a damn what other people think. I can shop at JC Penney instead of Macy's. :laugh:0 -
Some random guy in a Starbucks told me I would be gorgeous of I lost some weight. Then asked me out. I told him the equivalent of,apparently I am gorgeous enough without losing weight, and my self esteem isn't that low.
He actually ASKED YOU OUT after saying that? What a misguided a$$hat. Wow, lol. Good for you for turning him down 0 -
Okay..
so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
"you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.
today at work a lady came in and told me-
"if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"
HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.
Wow, that is SO RUDE! I mean, it must mean you do have a beautiful face which is technically a compliment, but they're also essentially calling you fat to your face! I've never had anyone say that to me. Why can't they just say "Wow you're really pretty?" instead of that? If someone ever said that to me, I would give them a sarcastic 'thanks'. I mean I guess you shouldn't let it get to you but it is rude...0 -
I can relate...
I've had the, "You'd be really pretty if you lost weight" from a buy who was pretty overweight himself...go figure!
I've also had, "You're a really good dancer for a fat chick!" Funnily enough this was from a guy who was actually trying to pick me up! Haha In case you're wondering, it didn't work lol.
Both times I wasn't even that overweight - probably a UK size 14. But some people just don't think how comments like these stay with you, and it's not easy for everyone to use it as motivation to change even if we want to.0 -
I hate that comment.. family members say that to me, though they see it as tough love to get me motivated... I tell that to myself to keep pushing to be fit and lose the weight... I try to pay no attention to it if peope say that...0
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." Since when was being skinny a requirement for being considered pretty?
I agree with this!!! Beauty is not just what we see, but from the goodness that is our inner being.
I once had someone make a comment......my reply..."The saying you are what you eat......and I want others to think I am sweet....therefore I eat sweets."
the person shut up. :grumble:0 -
That is a backhanded compliment. The person means that you ARE pretty now but you'd be more attractive if you were thinner. It's basically the "southern compliment"... "she's so overweight... bless her heart." This is someone's way of telling you they think you are overweight. As if you didn't know.
That said, there is a compliment in there. You have a pretty face. And frankly, beauty is on the inside, not the outside.0 -
Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."
What she said LOL
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Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid." That was exactly my thought!!0
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Some random guy in a Starbucks told me I would be gorgeous of I lost some weight. Then asked me out. I told him the equivalent of,apparently I am gorgeous enough without losing weight, and my self esteem isn't that low.
He actually ASKED YOU OUT after saying that? What a misguided a$$hat. Wow, lol. Good for you for turning him down
It's called a neg. Attractive guy asks out average girl, compliments her and adds in one softly given insult, hoping to make her work for more compliments, and thinks she is insecure enough to sleep with him. He was banking on my insecurity about my body. Oops, not there.0 -
I have the opposite problem, all my weight is in my, uh..chest so i get tons of attention and admirers who are upset I am losing weight. I've been told numerous times I should go into waitressing because i would get lots of tips, as they stare at my chest
So I get the negative reaction to losing weight and no inspiration whatsoever, the only thing that keeps me working at it is the feeble hope i will lose some chest size and people will stop ogling me all the time. That and it would be darned nice to be able to walk into a shop and actually buy shirts without having to ask sales clerks if they have anything that will fit *these*.0 -
Its an insult buried in a well-meaning comment. I've gotten it before, and it made me very angry too. The people who say that stuff in my experince are the naturally skinny types who just don't get it. Just push past it, their ignorance is not worth the trouble you'd waste worrying/seething over it. Use it as motivation, if you want? But don't let it get to you! This is FROM EXPERIENCE!! :OD0
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Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."
^^^^^that would have been my exact response....0 -
"if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"
HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly...
I use this "quote" thingy the first time, I hope I did it right, if not, I apologize.
Yes, I got told this more than only a few times in my life. mostly by my mother.
and I agree with you, it makes you sad and you feel ugly and unloved and you start hating yourself because its all up to you. You could be pretty, they could be proud of you, could like you more, if only you would change but you are not strong/good enough to change. (least that´s what I tell myself).
But what bothers me even more about it is, that people make you believe that you can only be pretty/cute/sexy/lovely/liked/loved/successful if you are thin or even skinny. if only you would change. not be yourself.
and even worse than they making me feel like I am a failure, just because I am not thin enough is that it seems like most people think like this.
you are not anything else just because you have a bit more weight on your ribs. not being skinny does not equal being ugly. of course I would look better, if I lost a bit weight but does this mean that I am a hopeless case now? too ugly to look at? Do people realize that only your appearance changes but your personality mostly stays the same? they do not say "you are really pretty but you would even look better if you lost a bit of weight" (what would be inpolite too but less) no, they say "you could be so pretty, if only you would be thin/skinny" is this suppose to be motivating?
I am sorry for the rant, I just struggle with this topic a bit. Its no wonder that everyone that is not skinny feels like they must change.0 -
It falls in the 'dont give a damn what you think' list of comments I have received over the years, I can honestly say it doesnt matter to me if people think or say it, if all they can see in a person is the packaging then not really worth getting uptight about it. It amazes me how skinny is suddenly the measure of attractiveness...I think most people find confidence far more attractive regardless of size...unless they are as shallow as a puddle and is it really worth letting a puddled mind effect how you feel about yourself? I think not!0
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I have the opposite problem, all my weight is in my, uh..chest so i get tons of attention and admirers who are upset I am losing weight. I've been told numerous times I should go into waitressing because i would get lots of tips, as they stare at my chest
So I get the negative reaction to losing weight and no inspiration whatsoever, the only thing that keeps me working at it is the feeble hope i will lose some chest size and people will stop ogling me all the time. That and it would be darned nice to be able to walk into a shop and actually buy shirts without having to ask sales clerks if they have anything that will fit *these*.
I totally have the same problem and the last time I got down to my goal weight (like 10 years ago and on a very unhealthy and unsustainable diet) I was a 36DD!!!! I know they are not going away and my hubby (who is a boob man) is in complete support of me getting a reduction---as well as a tummy tuck because he knows that I have diastisis recti (?) where my tummy muscles are still completely separated after having 2 kids.
I dream of the day where I don't buy larger shirts because otherwise I look like I'm parading them around and I work in a middle school and don't need those boys looking where they shouldn't be!!!0 -
I have heard that before myself. It's not a cool thing to say but the world is superficial. I once was in a store shopping with my 16 year old niece and we were looking for dresses for her. She's a size 2/3 dress and the sales lady said oh I think your in the wrong department, but if would look good on you if you were skinny!!! Sadly she gets paid to talk to people like that. I just block out the words because that means they have ugly souls!!!0
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What a couple of crazy b's. Ignore them. Seriously, who says that to a total stranger???0
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The candor of a restroom. I swear...
Take from it what you will. Just know it doesn't matter what "they" think. It matters what you think. You are working on yourself. Cheer up. Go watch the news for 5 minutes and realize your life isn't that bad. 0 -
Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."
Love it!0
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