Do you have THOSE friends...

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PibblesRun
PibblesRun Posts: 236 Member
in Motivation and Support
That you always try and support every day but they never support you back? I have 20 friends on my list...and I always take a few minutes every time im on to say a good word on their diarys, exercise and posts...and I only have 2 who are supportive back! Its just irritating me, its like the take and take and dont give back. :angry: I understand if the working people cant comment every day...but at least a few times a week...but I get nothing from these other people ever. Does this irritate you?
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  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    For me ..no. But I think it will really depend on the expectations that you set when you friended them. I have a very small number of friends that I 'requested' mostly because they were doing so awesome and I admired them for one reason or other. Those people are already awesome so my poor sorry excuse for a 'congratulations' really isn't going to add to their motivation nor will not getting feedback from me stop them in any way from hitting their goals.

    The others I have on my list all asked to be added and with them I will comment if they do something out of the ordinary or if I happen to be in the mood. I request all diaries open because I do like to look for ideas for myself and also I don't feel comfortable having people who don't eat on my list so they normally are removed pretty quick. I don't spend my days commenting on others and really if I don't have time I won't, nor will I feel guilty about it.

    For myself, yes it's nice to get a comment from time to time but I don't feel I "need" the help to carry on. It isn't going to stop me from getting to where I want to be. I try to be quite active on the boards and in groups so I get a lot of interaction that way and I guess I don't really 'miss' not having it on my profile.

    You could always put out a request for friends who are willing to provide support in the way that you would like to have it - I have seen many like this and I assume that all of them have found what they needed :)
  • FitFabFlirty92
    FitFabFlirty92 Posts: 384 Member
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    This is why I'm kind of indifferent to the "friends" feature on this site. This isn't Facebook. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to lose weight. I track my food, get advice and encouragement when needed from the message boards, and go on my merry way. I don't really need someone checking my food diary or patting me on the back because I made it to the gym.

    Encouragement from others is great, but I've learned I'm much more happier with myself and my progress when I motivate MYSELF. Because my opinion of who I am and what I'm doing is really all that matters.
  • Lisah8969
    Lisah8969 Posts: 1,247 Member
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    I have the friends who always want to know how I am doing it. I give loads of advice such as...

    tweaking my foods to still enjoy what I eat and not feel deprived
    making a workout schedule and sticking to it (and when pushed on this I will often send a schedule that I customize for them to follow)
    most importantly, logging everything you eat and when you exercise (sorry to me cleaning the house doesn't count as exercise if you were going to do it anyway) on MFP...EVERYTHING

    and then having them not follow any of the advice I give and keep asking me how I am doing it. Why ask if you aren't going to listen? At the very least logging in on MFP every day should be easy. I have yo-yoed in my weight for 25+ years now. I am now very close to the lowest weight I have been during that time period. And you know what? It's been relatively easy! Yes, I work my @ss off 5 times a week, but I really like it now! I've made small changes to my food so that I can still eat what I want. It's not melting away pounds a day, but it's consistent and it's going in the right direction. I don't feel the need to binge.

    Anyway...sorry for my rant. I don't think this was exactly what you were talking about. My friends do comment once a week when I weigh in and that's nice. I just wish they would stop asking for advice with no plans on taking it.
  • PibblesRun
    PibblesRun Posts: 236 Member
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    I have the friends who always want to know how I am doing it. I give loads of advice such as...

    tweaking my foods to still enjoy what I eat and not feel deprived
    making a workout schedule and sticking to it (and when pushed on this I will often send a schedule that I customize for them to follow)
    most importantly, logging everything you eat and when you exercise (sorry to me cleaning the house doesn't count as exercise if you were going to do it anyway) on MFP...EVERYTHING

    and then having them not follow any of the advice I give and keep asking me how I am doing it. Why ask if you aren't going to listen? At the very least logging in on MFP every day should be easy. I have yo-yoed in my weight for 25+ years now. I am now very close to the lowest weight I have been during that time period. And you know what? It's been relatively easy! Yes, I work my @ss off 5 times a week, but I really like it now! I've made small changes to my food so that I can still eat what I want. It's not melting away pounds a day, but it's consistent and it's going in the right direction. I don't feel the need to binge.

    Anyway...sorry for my rant. I don't think this was exactly what you were talking about. My friends do comment once a week when I weigh in and that's nice. I just wish they would stop asking for advice with no plans on taking it.

    LOL...I know what you mean about that! I think most are expecting you to say...Oh I sit on my butt in front of the tv most of the time, but I take this magic pill thats just melting the pounds! HAHA
  • Lisah8969
    Lisah8969 Posts: 1,247 Member
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    LOL...I know what you mean about that! I think most are expecting you to say...Oh I sit on my butt in front of the tv most of the time, but I take this magic pill thats just melting the pounds! HAHA

    Exactly! If it were that easy, we'd all be skinny! If you aren't willing to make the change, don't waste my time.
  • skinnybitchbarbie27
    skinnybitchbarbie27 Posts: 306 Member
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    I WILL BE YOUR AWESOME MOTIVATOR FRIEND :) Especially because you love the steelers just as much as I do haha :) I know it sucks but I just think that you need a new round of friends. There's plenty of us awesome people out here :)
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
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    Nope--I delete those "friends." All of my friends on here are amazing!
  • pinkyleigh83
    pinkyleigh83 Posts: 148 Member
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    I have those in real life. Lol
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    it's the internet. is it really that big of a deal??
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    If it bothers you, delete them. That simple.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    ...it's not real life, so I just dump them. And even if it were real life, I'd still dump them.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    Sure I do, I have 160 friends, if I got 160 comments on everything I posted that would be nuts!
    After awhile of no interaction between and a friend I will usually delete them.

    Some may think of me as the friend that doesn't support back but I always try to comment
    on those that I regularly talk to every time.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    So delete them. Find new friends to suit your tastes. It's not that big of a deal.

    I delete consummate whiners and people with unhealthy attitudes.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I have over 100 friends on my list and about 1/4 of them respond to my diary and occasional posts. I do look at the posts of those who don't to see if they have responded to anything...sometimes they go on vacation or a work related trip....if not, I reevaluate whether or not to keep them as friends. I do weed out those who haven't logged on in certain period of time, too.
  • Jackie_Paper
    Jackie_Paper Posts: 183 Member
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    If you want, you can add me, I write back pretty often :)
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    I usually delete them if I comment on all of their stuff, and don't get so much as a "good job" in return... No, I don't "need" the support, but it sure is nice! Feel free to add me!
  • anna0478
    anna0478 Posts: 505 Member
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    I also delete "those" friends as well. You can tell who's on here to gather the most friends and who is really serious about supporting others and getting fit themselves. Also, when someone doesn't log on for weeks or months at a time...I usually cut those loose as well.
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
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    I love my friends list and I know they do what they can with commenting, and I do what I can. Sometimes we just don't have enough time to comment on everyone's things every day.
  • BSchoberg
    BSchoberg Posts: 712 Member
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    I try to be supportive to all my friends - and some are very supportive in return while others not so much. I haven't cut anyone loose yet, but might at some point. But I'm the same way here as on Facebook --- I'm not out to have so many "friends" I can't keep up with them and have to scroll for pages to see everything.

    What I have done is stop commenting on someone who doesn't comment back --- and suddenly, bam! I'm getting all the good jobs and atta girls I can handle. I think "those" friends might have too many to keep track of, but eventually, those of us who are here logging and posting daily come back to the surface... like the cream of the crop that we are! :wink:
  • McBully4
    McBully4 Posts: 1,270 Member
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    If it bothers you, delete them. That simple.
    it's the internet. is it really that big of a deal??
    I have those in real life. Lol

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