Silly joke time, put em on :-)

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1356

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  • elinakalna
    elinakalna Posts: 46
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    Why women rub their eyes in the morning?
    Because they don't have balls to scratch.
  • nbhobbes
    nbhobbes Posts: 284
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    Heres a couple of jokes..

    Liverpool FC and the Boston Red Sox..
  • nbhobbes
    nbhobbes Posts: 284
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    Why was the blonde psyched that she finished the jigsaw puzzle in just 8 short months? Beacuse it said 2-4 yers on the box.
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
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    So, a neutron walked into a bar and said "I'd like a beer, please."

    After the bartender gave him one, he said "How much will that be?"

    "For you?" said the bartender "No charge."

    *insert corny punchline drum sound*
  • nbhobbes
    nbhobbes Posts: 284
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    And just so the blondes don't feel like they are being picked on...

    What do brunettes miss most about parties?
    The invitations

    Q: What is a bondes mating call?
    A: I'm drunk..

    Q: What is a brunette's mating call?
    A: Hey guys I said I'm drunk.

    Q: What's a red head's mating call?
    A: NEXT!!
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,139 Member
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    How do you scare bees? Say BOO bees!
  • canela023
    canela023 Posts: 88 Member
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    Two Irishman leave a bar.


    (I was rolling with that one)
  • MainahGirl
    MainahGirl Posts: 282 Member
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    Q: How do you get a Twinkie pregnant?

    A: Stick it in a box of Ding Dongs! :wink:
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
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    :love: :laugh:
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
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    What do you call a cow that just had a baby?
    De-calf-inated
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
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    Why are there fences around graveyards?

    Because people are DYING to get in! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • CraftySissy
    CraftySissy Posts: 8
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    According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, eating right doesn't have to be complicated. Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you're eating right. Colors. Fill your plate with bright colors: Greens, Reds, Yellows.

    In fact, I did that this morning. I had an entire bowl of M&M's. It was delicious! I never knew eating right could be so easy.
  • Ladyslippers
    Ladyslippers Posts: 186 Member
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    How do you catch a unique bunny?

    You neek up on him!


    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    Da tame way you neek up on him!

    :::ba dump bump:::
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
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    How do you hurt Lady Gaga?

    P-P-Poke her face.


    Heeeeeeeeeyyyyooooo!
  • schell81
    schell81 Posts: 187 Member
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    What did the 0 say to the 8?


    Nice belt!
  • Pedalpush
    Pedalpush Posts: 246 Member
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    This has aways been my favorite proverb:

    He who farts in church must sit in his own pew.
  • Miss_dannii
    Miss_dannii Posts: 1,351 Member
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    Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CDs? In a rack
  • AliceKlaar
    AliceKlaar Posts: 275 Member
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    I just saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a catflap!!!! :-)

    Hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa

    What does a dyslexic agnostic do?

    Sits around and wonders if there really is a dog.

    I went to a dyslexic rave the other night. Everyone was off their heads on F.
  • slepygrl
    slepygrl Posts: 249 Member
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    B/c poop jokes never get old. This is my 7y/o's favorite!!

    Knock knock
    Who's there
    Small mop
    Small mop who
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old
    Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin.
    In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it.
    Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image
    staring back at him.
    'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.'
    He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the
    way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in
    the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go
    there and look at it.
    His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed.
    So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror.
    As she looked into the glass, she fumed,
    'So that's the ugly ***** he's running around with.'

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