Silly joke time, put em on :-)

Options
1246

Replies

  • Mandykinz2008
    Mandykinz2008 Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    What did the 0 say to the 8?

    "Nice Belt"
  • Miss_dannii
    Miss_dannii Posts: 1,351 Member
    Options
    B/c poop jokes never get old. This is my 7y/o's favorite!!

    Knock knock
    Who's there
    Small mop
    Small mop who

    This made me lol, I'm not going to lie. I'm 25.
  • nevertoolate2
    nevertoolate2 Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    I remember my mothers last words to me....


    What you doing with that pillow?
  • slepygrl
    slepygrl Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
    A: Put a little boogie in it!

    LOL!! I crack myself up!!
  • MonkRocker
    MonkRocker Posts: 198
    Options
    Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CDs? In a rack

    Q: Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
    A: In his sleevies!
  • Mama_Mila
    Mama_Mila Posts: 511 Member
    Options
    Anything unrelated to an elephant is irrelephant...
  • KristieBreland
    KristieBreland Posts: 2
    Options
    I was running this morning and heard someone clapping... It was just my thighs cheering me on!
  • AliceKlaar
    AliceKlaar Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    How do you upset Heather Mills? Nick Clegg.

    How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
  • slepygrl
    slepygrl Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    Anything unrelated to an elephant is irrelephant...

    This made me LOL!!
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    Options
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?

    You 'neak up on it!!!
  • emmy3111
    emmy3111 Posts: 482 Member
    Options
    haven't read them all... hopefully this isn't a double :)

    If girls with big boobs work at Hooters... where do girls with one leg work?





    ... IHOP




    tee hee :)
  • callhimrodneyafterdave
    callhimrodneyafterdave Posts: 97
    Options
    bnag...............................thats bang out of order!
  • Miss_dannii
    Miss_dannii Posts: 1,351 Member
    Options
    What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
    A Wonky

    What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and one eye?
    A Winky Wonky

    *facepalm*
  • purpleroses1021
    purpleroses1021 Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    Why was 6 scared? Because 7 8 9
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
    Options
    A little early morning sexism here...

    Q : Why do women have smaller feet then men?
    A : So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

    Q : Why do men snore?
    A : Because their balls fall over their @$$ when they sleep and get vapor locked

    Q : What does a man consider a 7 course meal?
    A : A six-pack and a hot dog

    Q : When should you buy your wife a watch?
    A : Never, there is a clock on the Stove.
  • lila1980
    lila1980 Posts: 63 Member
    Options
    A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.

    There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

    "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

    "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

    The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

    "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself."

    The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

    Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

    "1955, ma'am."

    "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

    The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."
  • survivor1952
    survivor1952 Posts: 250 Member
    Options
    Two Irishmen leave the bar...OMG, That is the funniest! I just texted it to my Irish husband!!!
  • callhimrodneyafterdave
    callhimrodneyafterdave Posts: 97
    Options
    how do whales travel on land?

    a whale way

    so bad lol
  • elinakalna
    elinakalna Posts: 46
    Options
    If swimming makes you slimmer I wonder what whales are doing wrong...
  • wheresheidi
    wheresheidi Posts: 213
    Options
    Why don't southern belles attend orgies?

    Too many Thank You notes....:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Categories