URGENT Mother in Law
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Sorry, can't help you: I spend more time with my mother-in-law then my own mother... there was never any awkwardness between us.
You're so lucky! My ex's mom and I got along super well, to the point where we would have girls' nights anytime her husband and son were out of town (they work together). Losing her was the saddest part of our break-up. Unfortunately I lost the MIL lottery when I married my husband, but I admit that she could be a LOT worse. We don't hate each other.
Edited to correct a typo.0 -
Don't start off by saying "Damn!! You look like SH**!! What happened?!?!" LOL0
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I feel so lucky that I love my MIL. However, I have a lot of experience with crazy thanks to my mother and my FIL. Things not to say...
"I can't blame your other child for not speaking to you, I might be next."
"Your son and I have already agreed that if he ever gets like you, I'm leaving him."
"Exactly what makes you think I care what you think?"
"Your health problems are entirely uninteresting, can we talk about something exciting, like belly button lint?"0 -
Avoid the truth at all costs. For instance, don't say:
"I've been dreading this lunch with you so much, I hardly slept last night."
"No appetizer for me, please, I want this lunch to end as soon as possible."
"I couldn't have the pasta, I'm so nervous it would come right back up."
On the bright side, if you're too wound up to eat, maybe it will help you diet!0 -
"hey, your daughter does thins "thing" with her hips. Did you teach her that?"
Ok, I will admit that I snorted my coffee after reading this... Hilarious!
Plus I picture my husband saying this to my mom. Oh, my, talk about awkward.
My husband and I have said worse in front of his mother, and she just laughed. It's almost scary how laid back my MIL is.0 -
"I've been sleeping with your son."
Nice
We've been married 22+ years & that would be a truly awkward opener - but only after she updates me on her yeast infection
Oh my!!! You have one of those too???? I swear every time I see mine she has to update me on her latest infection or spat of diarrhea. It really does get to the point where I look at her and politely inform her that she is sharing a little much for me. She also likes to talk about her sex life with FIL - they are no longer together for obvious reasons...She's #@&*ing nuts!0 -
I am not good at nodding and saying "yes". Have always been fighting with her and surprise, after 20 years, we get along very well.
Maybe we just needed a bit longer.
Also living 1200km apart helps.
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Least said, soonest mended. Just smile and nod a lot Good luck!
^ ^ exactly. Spend more time listening than talking and you'll be fine. You can do anything for a few hours, even act pleasant towards an unpleasant person.0 -
Say these things and don't listen to anything she says:
Isn't this placemat just the coolest thing you've ever seen in your whole life?
This table is so sturdy.
Wow! It's so bright in here! The sun sure does make things bright! It's like the lightest day EVER!
You know that show on tv, the one with the people who are in that family, and they laugh a lot and they all do dumb things and then they have a problem, but they solve it after some awkward attempts to fix it and then they finally do and they usually learn some lesson and then everythings all good until the next episode...yeah....good show..so addicted and like there is nothing else like it on tv. It is SO my fav! You just have to see it. You know?
Did you say something? I was staring out the window thinking about my plans for later and just lost track of time.
What? Oh that's so silly. You are such a jokester.
Yup, as soon as I leave here I'm going to make fun of absolutely all the ridiculous things you said0 -
Don't do what I do - which is get sooooooo wound up and nervous about not being 'up to par' that I become super awkward - and so when we come to do the obligatory 'hello, how are you hug?' I ALWAYS get my arms wrong - do we, don't we hug? - and I end up holding their boobs. Yup, my hands develop a mind of their own , I aim too high and instead of hands on the waist, it's hands in the boobage area.
And the more I try not to do it the more insane my arms become.
Doofus.
Laughed right out loud at this one! I did something similar the other day, and cringed on and off for several days afterward. Too funny!0 -
Don't get me started. Mine was here for dinner last night after flying in for her 8th booty call/online hook up in 3 years.
How about, "I hear your daughter's a *kitten*. Branch didn't fall far, eh?"
:-D0 -
Good luck, I don't have to worry about a mother in law as she is now an out-of-law but I have to worry about that with my own mother. Bite thy tongue, zip thy lips and smile and nod and just agree with whatever they say as long as you don't have to make a commitment to anything.0
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It's just the opposite for us! My MIL is wonderful! She always agrees with me...LOL!! She NEVER sides with my husband. We bonded instantly. We have a lot in common. My husband probably feels the way that you do about my mom...LOL!!0
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The only thing I'm POSITIVE you SHOULDN'T say is, "Wow! When are you due?" LMAO! :laugh:
Hope I made you smile...0 -
You could try: "Wow, I'm sure glad you didn't pass that crazy gene down to your son!"
or
"I'm sorry, I don't speak B*tchenese, could you try that in English, please?"
or
"Wait!....nope, I still don't give a *kitten*".0 -
As a mil I've found out there is nothing I can say that is all right...everything gets misinterpreted and second guessed. We hardly see our two sons or our grandchildren. I would say treat her like an individual and give her respect for having raised your husband. I had a wonderful relationship with my mil. I realized that him loving his mom made him just that much of a better husband and father. I wish my dils would tell me when I have said something that is hurtful to them...I try to love them and treat them with respect.0
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Omg I not only have a crazy mil but a crazy grandmother in law as well! She looks in our windows if we don't answer the door right away and when my daughter was a baby I was giving her a bath and the crazy grandmother in law took her clean onsie and stuck in underneath her giant boob to "warm it up!" whatttttttt??? :noway: oh and it was July!
So no I didn't put that onsie on her! Nasty!0 -
Awesome - -laughed & cried... a litttleAvoid the truth at all costs. For instance, don't say:
"I've been dreading this lunch with you so much, I hardly slept last night."
"No appetizer for me, please, I want this lunch to end as soon as possible."
"I couldn't have the pasta, I'm so nervous it would come right back up."
On the bright side, if you're too wound up to eat, maybe it will help you diet! 0 -
What makes you think I wanted to know that?
Have you thought about developing friendships with people your own age (I actually told her that one)
Mine (to be fair, this is my ex-mother in law - my "outlaw") talks 100 mph so there's no time to actually say anything - then she'll stop and ask an intensely personal, none-of-your-business kind of question. Her latest obsession is when my daughter might start her periods. I've learned an awful lot about when my MOL developed breasts and started menstruating - or rather, I would have if I hadn't tuned her out. Then she'll ask "So when did YOU start..." and I tell her "I'm not comfortable sharing that with you."
My Dad's response to people asking prying questions was "What exactly would you do with that information, if you had it?" Watching them try to say something other than the truth (so I can gossip about you) is very entertaining.0 -
You could try: "Wow, I'm sure glad you didn't pass that crazy gene down to your son!"
or
"I'm sorry, I don't speak B*tchenese, could you try that in English, please?"
or
"Wait!....nope, I still don't give a *kitten*".
Can I say these in my head?!!!0 -
Thanks but no thanks on the parenting advice. I live with a kid you raised and he could definitely use some work.
Good luck!0 -
As a mil I've found out there is nothing I can say that is all right...everything gets misinterpreted and second guessed. We hardly see our two sons or our grandchildren. I would say treat her like an individual and give her respect for having raised your husband. I had a wonderful relationship with my mil. I realized that him loving his mom made him just that much of a better husband and father. I wish my dils would tell me when I have said something that is hurtful to them...I try to love them and treat them with respect.
I have tried the "honest" approach to the many things she's said & done mean to me.... the truth is she doesn't want to hear it... she just wants me to be someone else.... more like her... someone she can like.
I will NEVER do this again - its a surefire backfire everytime0 -
Absolutely do NOT mention the adorable star shaped mole your hubby has on the left side of his ding dong. She will NOT be amused. *troll face*0
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Ha HHA HAAbsolutely do NOT mention the adorable star shaped mole your hubby has on the left side of his ding dong. She will NOT be amused. *troll face*
Thanks for laugh...
Thanks everybody!
I sooooo needed this!0 -
I feel sorrier for the MIL my husband has to deal with.
That would be my hubby. Me on the other hand had the best mom in law. I always called her mom.0 -
I was lucky, my mother-in-law was wonderful, I miss her more than I miss my ex-husband anyway!! My new partner's mum is lovely too, only met her a few times, I adore her son, what could she dislike? Good luck with lunch, smile a lot and count to ten before you reply, just to give you time to re-think the response just in case!!0
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Anytime i can have a conversation with my mil without calling her a bigot is a success.
other marks of success:
not rolling my eyes so frequently that someone asks if om having a seizure.
Not threatening her when she tries to convince my hubby that he should leave me.
Not screaming her stupid every time she tells me im going to hell.
Not laughing when she goes into hysterical sobbing whenever she sees her grandkids eat candy.
Not asking her what the odds of a house falling on her are, since she lives in kansas.
Be so sweet sugar wont melt in your mouth. then, as soon as lunch is over, get on here and let us know if you need to borrow a shovel0 -
Oh... good luck to you. MY potential future Mother-In-Law is a religious NUT. You can't even say "dam" in that house if you stub your toe!
"Dam" for me? Yeah... that's WATCHING my language!0 -
It's only lunch not a road trip. Maybe get to the reastarant early and get something put in your drink, or hers.
Be kind, it always shocks people into good behavior.0 -
I really like my future MIL, however my future FIL is another story. He has a way of throwing off a vibe of "you aren't good enough for my son" at all times... If he only KNEW. That and he talks about himself 24/7 and couldn't care less about getting to know me whatsoever.
I just smile and nod despite the fact that I don't agree with 90% of the **** that comes out of his mouth.0
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