URGENT Mother in Law

13

Replies

  • forgtmenot
    forgtmenot Posts: 860 Member
    Thanks but no thanks on the parenting advice. I live with a kid you raised and he could definitely use some work.

    :)

    Good luck!

    Hahaha! I'll have to borrow this one when we have kids one day.
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    MIL's are tricky. Try to relax and to SEEM relaxed around her. She'll either be relieved that you're so comfortable with her or she'll be ticked that she didn't have you shaking in your boots. Either way, you win!
  • missytrishy
    missytrishy Posts: 203 Member
    Least said, soonest mended. Just smile and nod a lot :smile: Good luck!

    ^^ This. Just be polite and listen attentively. Who knows, you might actually grow to like her :)
  • MrsDrk
    MrsDrk Posts: 153 Member
    I have a pretty great MIL, most of the time. I talk about whatever she talks about, cooking- the kids, etc. I do NOT talk about politics, shows on Lifetime, or religion. Those things would be dealbreakers.

    My husband has a nightmare of a MIL. He just makes sure we always face her as a unit. Never leave each other alone when they are here or the once a year we go out there. Can't let one or the other get sucked in by my mom OR my father.
  • MarySunshine70
    MarySunshine70 Posts: 118
    Could I say:
    "I thought that might be your perspective, you don't hide your negative feelings well."
    When she criticizes me? Or would that just be starting an argument?
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,262 Member
    "Can you breathe on this bread for me to toast it?"
  • cobes24
    cobes24 Posts: 132 Member
    Don't do what I do - which is get sooooooo wound up and nervous about not being 'up to par' that I become super awkward - and so when we come to do the obligatory 'hello, how are you hug?' I ALWAYS get my arms wrong - do we, don't we hug? - and I end up holding their boobs. Yup, my hands develop a mind of their own , I aim too high and instead of hands on the waist, it's hands in the boobage area.

    And the more I try not to do it the more insane my arms become.

    Doofus.

    OH MY GOSH! I have the same problem, but with my face, and only with my boyfriend's uncle and good friend. For some reason, when I hug those 2 men, and ONLY them, they seem to want to go the same direction with their head as I do, so we ALWAYS end up almost smashing faces. GOD it's so awkward. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 yrs, met this uncle and this family friend (guy about my dad's age) at about 3 mos and 6 mos respectively--so that's A LOT of awkward kiss/hug disasters. EVERY time I self talk in advance "ok, let them take the lead, don't lean your head until they do, DON"T ALMOST KISS THE UNCLE OR FRIEND this time" but what do you know, BAM, near lip smush every time.

    I'm a bit relieved that I"m not the only one with uncooperative body parts.
  • Insanity2bSane
    Insanity2bSane Posts: 204 Member
    smile_and_wave1_zps72f6a8bb.jpg

    Don't know how to post pict.:sad:
    now, there you go, Yeah!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Im so sorry that you have an abundance of healthy family members that really want to spend time with you. Im sure it sucks hairy biker *kitten*. You have my condolences.
  • Sabresgal63
    Sabresgal63 Posts: 641 Member
    My MIL used to live with us early on in our marriage........caused all kinds of grief and disrespect......even told me "once" that
    "I'm not the one who married a woman who could not have any more kids"..................needless to say I told my husband it's me or her and completely your choice............she lives with his sister now and we get along great!
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
    i absolutely LOVE my MIL, my husband's MIL on the other hand...
  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
    Offer her an other bottle of wine / Shot of tequila, etc.
  • mamakira
    mamakira Posts: 366
    How did it go? Did she survive?:bigsmile:
  • Melroxsox
    Melroxsox Posts: 1,040 Member
    I'm married for 34 years. Cheerful and stupid works every time, I promise :-)
    lol! this....the less drama, the more they like you and wont bother you about anything;) which in turn makes YOU the smarter one! eh? think about it;)
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Pretending I didn't understand her was about the only thing I could do with my MIL. She only spoke french, and I let her believe that I didn't really understand or speak it. (Which is not true - I'm functionally bilingual) Hubby went along with the rouse.
  • jfrog123
    jfrog123 Posts: 432 Member
    My MIL is usually too busy burping, snorting, loudly blowing her nose, and just being inappropriate in general to pay any attention to what I have to say. Makes for a pleasant experience at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
  • LisaBeateith2012
    LisaBeateith2012 Posts: 346 Member
    I'm married for 34 years. Cheerful and stupid works every time, I promise :-)
    lol! this....the less drama, the more they like you and wont bother you about anything;) which in turn makes YOU the smarter one! eh? think about it;)
    I'm married for 34 years. Cheerful and stupid works every time, I promise :-)

    I so do this, working for me so far LMAO" :o)
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member

    "You know, you really messed up with raising your son.. here's a quick list of everything I blame you for"

    hah! Was thinking along those same lines recently. Pity we can't actually hold the moms accountable :grumble:
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    things you SHOULDNT say....hahah -"well, everybody KNOWS we dont like eachother, so why do we both go on pretending this way? lets just glove up, throw down and do this already! "
    haha i cant take 10min alone with mine, she picks away at me constantly. ill never be good enough and im done trying to please her. i just say whatever now. the time is quickly approaching that she and i will 'face off'. you can only swallow someone elses **** for so long...for me 8 years is plently long enough. after i had the kids i also grew some balls. she still infuriates me like no other. she woulda been my bff for life if i would have never gotten pregnant. now we're married with 2 kids and she knows im here for good. SUFFER WOMAN!
  • WendyFitMomCHANGED
    WendyFitMomCHANGED Posts: 311 Member
    What NOT to say: "Getting to know you better has made me understand where my husband gets his *kitten* behaviour from"
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    My Mother In Law is PERFECT! She doesn't speak english and lives in another country :drinker:
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    My Mother In Law is PERFECT! She doesn't speak english and lives in another country :drinker:
    envy you!!!
  • Shrinking_Moody
    Shrinking_Moody Posts: 270 Member
    What NOT to say: "Getting to know you better has made me understand where my husband gets his *kitten* behaviour from"


    Love this - and I may even use it.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    Anytime i can have a conversation with my mil without calling her a bigot is a success.

    other marks of success:
    not rolling my eyes so frequently that someone asks if om having a seizure.
    Not threatening her when she tries to convince my hubby that he should leave me.
    Not screaming her stupid every time she tells me im going to hell.
    Not laughing when she goes into hysterical sobbing whenever she sees her grandkids eat candy.
    Not asking her what the odds of a house falling on her are, since she lives in kansas.

    Be so sweet sugar wont melt in your mouth. then, as soon as lunch is over, get on here and let us know if you need to borrow a shovel

    bahahahaahhhhaaa!
  • Janet9906
    Janet9906 Posts: 546 Member
    My Mother in law passed away from cancer almost 5 years ago, she was very sweet and treated me like her own daughter. I miss her!
    I feel sorry for all of you with Monster in laws!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I could tell you horror stories about my mother-in-law. I've been with my husband 10 years, married 8 of those years. I usually just make small talk, and bite my tongue a lot. I've only snapped on my husbands mom 3 times, which was for good reason, stupid B*tch!
  • NoMoreJellyRolls
    NoMoreJellyRolls Posts: 142
    I cant help you here. Me and my mother-in-law get along GREAT! Of course, it wasnt always like that. We had a few blow outs and because I wouldnt back down from her or have my hubby fight my battles with her, it earned alot of repect in her eyes.

    But before our relationship has grown, she would say mean stuff like "your a beach whale gold-digger, only wanting my son for the inheritence from me, etc" I after the 2nd comment of that, I blew up on her and we had a few blow outs while I was pregnant but she has since backed off and calls me more than she does her son

    You could tell her "im as excited about lunch with you, as a pig is becoming bacon" LOL

    Goodluck
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member

    "You know, you really messed up with raising your son.. here's a quick list of everything I blame you for"

    hah! Was thinking along those same lines recently. Pity we can't actually hold the moms accountable :grumble:

    Hahaha.....my husbands tried that with his mom, one day he was all, "you reminder when I was 14 and you asked me to teach you to look up porn on the internet" She denied it. lmao she said "No I didn't do that, that would make me a bad mother"

    My husband, just for laughs will bring up stuff his mother did, she denies most of it. Says I wasn't a bad mother, you had a great childhood! It cracks me up.
  • Holly_penguin
    Holly_penguin Posts: 149 Member
    After listening to a tirade about how "love isn't real" and "NEVER EVER get married" and "The worst thing I ever did was get married and have children" from my fiancee's mother IN FRONT of her kids and husband of 50 years I looked her straight in the eye and said, "Whew,I'm glad I'm just in this for the sex then"...shut her the HE double hockey stick up long enough to escape. Every family has it's disfunction, the one you grew up with is familiar to you so it seems less extreme than your significant other. Don't let her beat you down. If she is nasty, she must be an extremely unhappy person. Don't let her make you unhappy as well, then she wins.
  • nturner612
    nturner612 Posts: 710 Member
    lol too funny of a topic.

Categories