The ABSURD things people say.....
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I get this alot "Well, we don't want to eat that stuff that you make all the time for dinner. We're sick of being on a diet too just because YOU'RE fat. You can stop and pick up something from Sonic for us and eat your gross diet food when you get home"
I also hear "Ohhhhhh, look... you're being good today [referring to my home made lunch in the lunch room]. I guess you just can't have REAL food anymore."
And of course the "If you just didn't have all the belly roll you would be totally skinny" Said while grabbing my stomach... literally, people I'm not related to or sleeping with reaching out, criticizing the part of my body I hate the most and then putting their hands on me and giving it a good jiggle.
:noway:2 -
A few years ago we had some people over (aquaintances not friends) One of the ladies lost a lot of weight & had dropped several clothes sizes. Another woman there said to her that since she had gotten thin maybe she could give her "fat clothes" to me!!! I was so humiliated.2
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I get this alot "Well, we don't want to eat that stuff that you make all the time for dinner. We're sick of being on a diet too just because YOU'RE fat. You can stop and pick up something from Sonic for us and eat your gross diet food when you get home"
I am so lucky I dont get this, my husband is losing weight too so the food I cook is good for bother of us.1 -
Within the last 2 weeks someone came up to me and said "oh my gosh, if I hadn't heard you speak I wouldn't have recognized you! What is your secret?!" I replied by laughing and saying "diet and excercise" and she seemed disappointed and said... and I quote "Well, that's not what I wanted to hear!" lol....
Another was during my last hair appointment I was discussing with my stylist about how to keep my hair from shedding so much... and she said "well, you lost all that weight, are you on some kind of pills or supplements?" and I boasted that "no, that was all hard work and sweat!"...
Many many many people are looking for a quick fix to their weight problem. It took years (in most cases) for your body to get into that state of being... after years of poor diet habits, poor excercise habits, childbirth, stress, and millions of other reasons for weight gain. Weight loss is not easy! If it were everyone would be skinny, this web site wouldn't exsist, and the fad-diet industry wouldn't consume millions of dollars every year for people spending gobs of money on a product that will promise to make their dreams come true...... OK OK OK I'm going to cut myself off here... I'm done, lol, not even going to proofread this post/rant...
The majority of members on MFP are here doing it the old fashioned way... and the way that works... good old diet/excercise... and I'm proud to support you all!1 -
Man, when people say stuff like:
"What's your secret to losing so much weight?"
"So what diet are you on?"
"Why are you trying to lose weight? You look fine."
"You've lost that much? I didn't realize you had that much on you!"
it really chaps my... oh, wait. No it doesn't.
It means that my efforts have not gone unnoticed. It means I'm being successful and it's showing up more than just on my scale (which may be hard for me to see because I see myself in the mirror every morning, so gradual changes may not be noticeable to me). It means that people are impressed with my success. In order:
- "What's your secret..?" "Thanks for noticing. I've been working hard at it with my high-fat, high-protein diet."
- "What diet are you on?" "Heh. It's not really a specific diet. I read some information about restricting carbs, and I'm doing that."
- "Why are you trying to lose weight? You look fine." (Okay... I wish I'd get this...)
- "You've lost that much? I didn't realize you had that much on you!" "Yeah, I really have. It's nice to hear that it didn't look as bad as I might have guessed, but I certainly feel better with it off." (Really... why would one be insulted by somebody saying you looked way too good to have them suspect you weighed that much?)
I would suggest we should take all of these kinds of statements the way they were probably intended - as acknowledgements of the success you've had and continue to have. In turn, rather than becoming discouraged or lashing out, turn around and use that success to encourage the commenter as well. It's certainly true that some people phrase their praise more artfully than others - but it doesn't make sense to become offended because they are not very good at expressing themselves when they note your progress.
At least that's my $0.02 worth...4 -
I've lost 35 lbs so far and gone from squeezing into 18s to wearing roomy 12's... and nobody's said a word. I mean, yeah, I've been spending most of my clothing budget on a gym membership so a lot of the clothes I have are too big, but still. (Then again, I would be really annoyed if I heard any of the things you guys have, so maybe I should just be grateful.)1
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"You are crazy the way you worry about what you eat." "You are nuts because you exercise too much." "You don't need to lose anymore weight, you will not look good." - All have come out of one person's mouth. Over and over again..
This.1 -
I've had people ask me if I've been sick. One was really concerned that I had cancer because I was "wasting away". I was still 75 pounds overweight at the time.1
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I've heard everything about losing weight...but my favorite is
What's your secret?
Don't you eat anything anymore?!
I don't have a secret and No I hardly ever eat anymore....so quit eating in front of me people!
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"You must feel SO MUCH BETTER" - actually I feel.. the same.. weird but true, I am still me!
"You can't eat that, can you?!" - ... ? Why not?? o.O (Boggles my mind EVERY time)
"That's how people get anorexic you know, you just be careful." ... . o O (Eh, whu?)
"You don't need to log EVERY single thing you eat!" - You're right. I don't, unless I want to be successful in the long run. Then I do.1 -
"Girl, you need to eat a sandwich!" (which made me laugh) and my mom referring to me at my heaviest as "hefty".
Hefty. Not "plump", "curvaceous" , or even "heavy" or "big"...but "hefty". :explode:1 -
A few years back I had a really hard time with constant nausea and not being able to eat because I was so sick. Turns out I'm gluten intolerant. Went off of gluten and I'm fine now.
Anyway, I was at the dentist right after all this happened and I was still underweight and kind of sick, recovering. The receptionist looks at me and says "Wow, you're so thin, I wish I'd get Celiac Disease so I could be as thin as you."
WTF?! Yes, because being so sick and nauseous you can't function and weak from losing weight is fun stuff...
I was pretty shocked. :noway:1 -
I got told last week that I look fine and don't need to lose anymore weight. I'm thinking WTF? I'm considered obese. I'm losing the damn weight. I wonder what she'll think when I'm actually at a healthy weight. Granted, it was coming from someone who is over 400+lbs at least and pregnant. I love the girl anyway.1
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You weren't "that" big to start with....
How much weight are you trying to lose........
I hope you don't get a disease you won't be able to fight it off....
I would work out like you BUT I have a life.1 -
I had someone tell me that he was worried about my health and that he was praying for me.1
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One of my favorites: "dang, you look less fat today." and to be honest, it was nice to hear. hahaha1
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"You must feel SO MUCH BETTER" - actually I feel.. the same.. weird but true, I am still me!
"You can't eat that, can you?!" - ... ? Why not?? o.O (Boggles my mind EVERY time)
"That's how people get anorexic you know, you just be careful." ... . o O (Eh, whu?)
"You don't need to log EVERY single thing you eat!" - You're right. I don't, unless I want to be successful in the long run. Then I do.
Exactly!1 -
most people (not all, I know) are good hearted and well intentioned. I try to go on their intention before I react.1
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"it'd be a great idea to re-instate the Bush Tax Cuts."
im thinking: man, Mitt Romney makes 10s of millions a dollar a month and pays 21% tax. i make a fraction of that and pay 28% tax. he pays less in income tax, mortgage tax and utility tax than what i pay. i still pay 1.8% more than him.0 -
Wow! Some of these are ridiculous. But I have to admit that many made me laugh. Unbelievable!
I don't have any doozies, but frankly I don't care how someone acknowledges my weightloss. Just happy they noticed. Way better than, "So, when are you due?" People are just goofy.1 -
While most comments I get on my loss are complimentary and well-intended, I sure have gotten some doozies. Anyone else? Here are a few of my favorites....
Wow. You've lost a lot of weight. Are you sick?
What's your secret to losing so much weight?
You look great. Are you dieting because your husband was losing interest?
Wow. You're so skinny. Don't you think you're a bit too thin?
I'm not sick. There is no secret. My husband has been wonderful. And NO, I'm not skinny in the least.
The haters are always jealous. Just smile at them. It makes them mad.
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I dated a guy last year who was very into appearances. I was big then, I still am. But I had already lost 40lbs. So we were talking about diets and what each of us eats etc... So I told him and I said that I had already lost 40lbs. We were just dating for 2 months or so... But his reaction devastated me:
I told him I lost 40lbs.
He said: "How could you let that happen to yourself? You were 40lbs bigger than now? How can a person do that?" and he went on and on how shocking that is...
I almost cried in his car. There was no way to get away. All I wanted to hear was "wow, great" or at least "that's good, keep going"... but not that...2 -
"You can't eat that, can you?!" - ... ? Why not?? o.O (Boggles my mind EVERY time)
It bothers me every time I hear that phrase. Just because I'll eat a slice of a particular food does not mean I'll eat the whole thing!!!1 -
I've been big for the past 20 yrs and this year have started exercise, cut out processed foods, sugars, etc. I got married in May and wanted to drop some weight for the wedding (simply beach wedding, just us and the preacher). Anyway, I have lost 47lb so far but I moved from Texas last year so no one really "sees" me but I post things (no photos) on facebook about what I ate. A few weeks ago, I made a low carb enchilada bake and commented about how awesome it was ... and a friend back home replied,
"Low carb? Really? He married you as is and should love you no matter what!!! Eat what you want be happy"!!!
I was like whoa, whoa WHOA!! My husband loves me as I am. He has never, ever said anything about me losing weight or needing to. This is for me, no one else. It really, really upset me that she would immediately assume I am losing weight now because of him.....1 -
My dad asked me if I was on meth.
Um no dad... Thanks for your high opinion of me though. :P1 -
One of my best friends (who has always had issues with her body) said that I was going to have some major psychological issues when I gain all that weight back once I am pregnant. =O Thanks friend.1
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Sunday, Mom and Dad came over for dinner. I haven't seen them in about a month. Not once, not twice, but three times in a matter of 5 hours, she told me, "You look ABSOLUTELY terrible."
First time, she said it as she walked in the door. I just said, "Nice to see you too, Ma.
Second time, I ignored her.
Third time, I looked at my father, who is 5'7" and 135 pounds for his entire life, and said to my father, but loud enough for my mother to hear, "When are you dropping her off at the insane asylum?"
Dad Cracked up laughing. Mom said she was only joking. I turned, looked at her with contempt and said, "IT wasn't funny the first two times you said it. WHy would it be funny the third time?"
My wife looked at me, knowing I was about to explode and just gave me the YOU KNOW SHE IS CRAZY, LET IT GO look.1 -
mine is the opposite. Ive toned up and only lost a tad bit of weight. But still a noticable difference. Women look at me, take a second look up and down and say nothing. I know its apparent because my family members have told me how great I'm looking. Its frustrating for me to not even get a comment from people that I know are seeing a difference.
I hear you on that. I have never been terribly overweight but I'd like to think people noticed that I have lost my belly since having my kids, but no one ever says anything. I know what you mean about "the stare" though! 1 -
My personal favorite:
"You've definitely lost weight.. You lost all your boobs!"
I tried to just ignore the last part but then she said it again.
"Sorry honey, you lost all your boobs.."
No, no I didn't. Thank you anyway. >.<1 -
people are never happy with themselves so they have to find faults on others. It doesn't matter if your heavy set or lean they always find something and if you changed in some way they wont give you credit, because it means they should be able to do it as well.1
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